Dr. Shiny Burju Unsal breaks down four NLP-inspired techniques for managing fear: gamifying it by scoring moments when faith wins, befriending it through personification, reframing it as mental training, and externalizing it by giving it shape and color. Fear threatens our core need for safety, so learning to work with it matters.
Chapters
4 creative ways to deal with fear. It combines the power of the mind with the wisdom of your heart, and it just helps you to unlock your potential. Put your hands together for Gary Vaynerchuk! Hey everyone, welcome to my Shiny Minds Show. My name is Shiny Burju Unsal. I am the proud creator of Neuroshine technology and your Neuroshine coach. Today we're going to talk about fear, but we're going to talk about it in ways that you can handle it, and I have 4 ideas for you. And let me start with this: fear is going to be with you forever. It's part of human psychology. When you look at the deepest part of what you want as a human being, you're gonna see 4 things. Number 1, you want to be safe. Number 2, you want to be seen. Number 3, you want to be heard. And number 4, you want to be appreciated. Because number 1 is safety and because fear is what's causing us to feel unsafe, That's why it's really important that we know how to handle fear. And fear is not something that is going to go away and all of a sudden you're going to wake up one day and you're going to feel fearless, right? It's part of who we are. We have pain and pleasure and then we have fear and faith hand in hand. It's human psychology. And that's why fear doesn't have to be something that you need to be free of love. That's exactly what I want to discuss with you today because I have some fun ideas. Number 1, make it a game. You can literally create this inner game where you keep scoring yourself each time you have faith win over fear. How are you going to do it? Well, you're gonna be intentional about it. You're gonna tell yourself, each time I have this voice of fear, each time I feel unsafe, each time I doubt myself, I am going to bring faith. And as I keep faith with me, fear is gonna run away. And as I keep doing this, I am going to build my inner confidence. So that can be a game, and if you can be intentional about it, you're going to have a lot of fun with it. Number 2: Become friends with it. What do I mean by that? Well, I'm sure you've heard the saying, you need to keep your friends close and keep your enemies closer. So if you look at the fear as an enemy, you need to become even greater friends with it, right? So how's it gonna help? You're gonna get to know the fear. You're gonna understand what is the intention behind the existence of fear. What is it trying to tell you? What are its goals and ambitions and needs and desires? I know it sounds crazy, but if you literally personify the fear that you're fearing inside, it's not going to be overwhelming anymore. You're going to minimize its strength, its power over you because If you accept something fully, it has no power over you, and that begins with becoming friends with your fear. Number 3, perceive it as a mental training, which is totally customized for you. What do I mean by that? Well, I just mentioned that fear has its own intention, has its own goals and messages that needs to deliver to you. So if you can find a way to look at those messages as your custom-made internal mental training, do you know what's going to end up happening? You're going to come out even stronger each time you have the fear. By experience and by scientific research, it is a proven fact that fear, if it doesn't kill you, is going to make you stronger. As you feel the fear, as you feel the pain, you're going to have to come up with a solution to overcome that. And as you overcome something so painful and so detrimental inside, as you come out of it, as you overcome it, you're going to become bigger. You're going to grow and you're going to test your limits and find your true potential. And that's why it can be and internal mental training if you can find to pursue it that way. Number 4, give it a shape, color, and a location in your body. How's it going to help? It's going to create something tangible out of that intangible fear. Let's talk about the fear that you have maybe around money, okay? Maybe you're worried that you won't make enough money to sustain your lifestyle, to chase your dreams, and to become your best version. And this fear is keeping you up at night. So what you can do, you can literally disassociate this fear, which means like keep it separate from yourself, and look at it as something else and give it a shape. You can literally look at it as this triangle or rectangular or something circle, give it a shape, give it a color, maybe it's black, okay? So my fear is a triangle, black-colored fear, and the location in my body is somewhere in my heart area, my chest area. So now that I can use all of these tangible contexts to make it something real, I can separate this fear from myself. And as I do that, I don't need to own it. It's not a part of me anymore. It's something that happens when this and that happens. There is a condition behind it. There is a context. Around it. And if I can understand the context, if I can understand the shape and the color and the location in the body, I can get rid of it. Does that make sense? I can literally go inside and I can say, oh, you are just leaving my body. Bye-bye. Something like that. I guess it also feels like a game, but it works. These are scientific methods that I am also using in my NLP trainings. Each time we use these methods, they create magic. Just try all of these 4 methods, whichever idea is best for you. You're gonna know which one is the best, but just try them, give them a shot. So I hope this was helpful. I hope you're gonna find even more creative ways to handle and deal with your fears so that you can become your true self, and together we can create a better world. Until next time, keep shining, my friend.
