Dr. Shiny Unsal explains why phrasing statements as questions reduces defensiveness and creates smoother interactions. Turning commands into questions avoids triggering threat responses in the brain, gives people space to choose, and signals genuine listening instead of self-centered talk.
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Hello everyone, my name is Shiny Unsal. I am the proud creator of Neuroshine technology, this Shiny Minds show, and your Neuroshine coach. Today I would love to shine those neurons of yours by talking about why you need to communicate with question marks instead of Periods. You know how you start a conversation and it's going well, all of a sudden something happens, and before you even realize what happens, you're in an argument. This person tells you, "Don't tell me what to do," and you're like, "No, I didn't tell you what to do." Sounds familiar? Well, those things happen automatically because our subconscious mind is picking up on subtle stuff. Maybe you're not intentionally creating this, obviously, but for some reason, your selection of words, your tonality, and your body language in your sentences create that outcome. And in order for you to refrain from these problems, I have 4 reasons why you need to turn those sentences of yours into questions. You ready? Let's go. Number 1. This will sound weird, but hear me. Nobody wants to be told what to do, right? Do you want to be told what to do? Do you want people to tell you what to do? Probably not. If you ask for them to tell you what to do, yes. You're going to like that. But if you didn't ask them, you're like, don't tell me what to do. So it's the same thing. There is this part of your brain, amygdala, that amygdala scans your environment 6 times a second looking for dangers and threats. Every word that sounds like a threat is going to be filtered through your amygdala. And that's why you're going to be triggered when you feel like somebody is trying to tell you what to do because you think that they're trying to control you. And that control doesn't go well with amygdala. For that reason, when you are creating sentences where you think, oh, this is just an innocent sentence, I'm just gonna share my opinion, I'm just gonna tell you, hey, you know what, you should just change your outfit, it doesn't look good on you. And all of a sudden you get this reaction or defense and offense mechanism The reason why is because you're triggering that person's amygdala. That's why you don't want to do that. So instead, that sentence can be like, "Hmm, where did you get that dress?" And leave it at that. Maybe they love it and that they love so much, and the minute you hear it, there won't be even any chance for you to tell them to change that dress. They love it. Number 2: linguistic intelligence. As you know, my dear shiny minds, there are multiple intelligences, and one of them is linguistic intelligence. When you understand and calculate the consequences of your language, the consequences of your words, what it does and why it does and how it does, Slowly you become more intelligent and you understand your sentences actually are not these invisible flowy energy in the universe, but more than that, they can create real pain for people. Literally, by saying something hurtful with a sentence, you can harm someone's psychology for a day, for a week, for a month. Your linguistic intelligence is going to warn you when you're about to say something hurtful and painful and disrespectful. That way you will become aware, and instead of putting that sentence out there, you will remember, hmm, maybe I should just ask a question. Because when you ask a question, that is not as harmful, that is not as advising or telling people what to do. Instead, it's just a suggestion, and people feel more free. When there is a question, when there's a question mark at the end of your sentence, it's more of an idea. It's more of a, hmm, how about this type of a thing? And that doesn't feel like pain or hurt. Number 3, mastery. What do I mean by that? When you understand people have their own freedom, People know themselves. People are masterful of their own life because they have overcome 100% of their problems as they survived today. And your mastery is going to be understanding and respecting people in a way that allows them to be. Your mastery with your sentences And actually turning your sentences into questions and question marks is really about holding the space for people to choose whoever they want to be. Last but not least, 4 is your high conscious respect. Everybody talks about respect and it can mean anything to anyone. Still yet, high levels of consciousness and high conscious levels of respect. It shows up in a more advanced setting. When you are someone who is generous about sharing opinions and ideas and talks a lot and doesn't stop and doesn't give room people to think and pause, you are not being high conscious. You're being low conscious and you are all about you. You're all about level 1 listening. It's what I call in my Nourish Shine Technology coaching. And that is not high conscious. That is like you are at your own level still, and you need to forget about you and focus on somebody else so that they also feel like, oh, I'm being seen, heard, and appreciated. So there you have it. Those are my 4 reasons why you need to turn your sentences into question marks. I hope it served you. I hope you like this video. If you did, please like it and share it with your friends so that they can also use Some more question marks. And of course, subscribe to my channel right down below if you want to learn more about these things and improve yourself to your next levels. You know why? Because you and I, we're going to create a better world together with more love and shiny minds.
Give you her love and give you her time, 'cause she's the shiny one, shiny one, shiny one. You know she's lots of fun, lots of fun, lots of fun, 'cause she's the shiny one, shiny one, shiny one. And you have lots of fun, lots of fun, lots of fun.
Change with fun. You got this.
Bring your sorrows and your sadness. Bring them to me. Bring them. She'll help you Take it away.
