EP 4 - Struggling to Change? This Formula Will Transform You! 🤩

Welcome back to the Shiny Minds Show. I am Dr Shiny Unsal, and today I would love to talk to you about the Neuroshine Technologies formula for change. If you're ready, let's begin. Are you ready to shine? Come on, it's the shiny one. You got this. The reason why I want to talk about this formula for change is because I needed this formula. Can you relate? You want to achieve something in your life, you so deeply desire it, and yet you find yourself not going for it. Something stops you. You cannot move your body to take that action. You postpone it, you procrastinate it, and you find all the reasons why you shouldn't be doing it. Can you relate, anybody? I know I am not the only one. Okay. So that was also something that I struggled for years when I was in my corporate world. This is happening before 2010. And when I knew that I wanted to improve myself, I wanted to become a better version of myself. And yet I found all these excuses. Oh, one day when things get easier, Oh, next year when I feel a little bit better. But then as I postponed, as I procrastinated to do the things I really truly wanted, years kept passing by. And then I found myself, okay, I am exactly where I started. I did not move the needle any further than I wanted. I feel super guilty and very bad about it. I need something, right? So this is where everything started. And if you are someone like me, you are gonna know what I am talking about. When you really want to do something internally, yet your mind tells you a different story, your mind finds excuses. It is absolutely powerful to find all kinds of excuses within all its creativity. Can you relate? We have all those things, right? I had them, and I still go work on them. This is not a story that ends. This is a story in the making. And the reason I'm sharing this whole background to the formula for change is because I needed something super practical. And I, I couldn't find it. And the reason why I started to search for a super practical and simple formula was because my mind was already super powerful to take anything complicated as a no-no. Because it's, oh my God, this is too complicated. I am not going to waste my time trying to understand that. I don't know what it is. It's too much. Like, give me the juice of it. Okay? So I can also just find myself telling now to everybody, okay, so what am I going to learn with your Neuroshine technology, right? So I created Neuroshine technology as a combination of 10 powerful disciplines that I studied. And as I studied them, I obviously needed to eliminate a ton of information that are not practical. I happen to have this super practical and scientific mindset. I need to get something that is truly going to change my life, that is literally going to give me something, oh my God, this is amazing, I can apply this, right? And so that's why I always find myself saying, okay, think about 10 powerful disciplines that you need to study, including neuroscience, neurolinguistic programming, which I am a licensed trainer of, heart science. Yes, there is actually a science that studies the wisdom of the heart and how it relates to the brain and how they communicate together. Cosmology, metaphysics, quantum physics, emotional intelligence. Leadership communication strategies, advanced coaching skills, positive psychology, like 10 powerful disciplines, 10 of them. Actually, there are more, but I'm just giving you the 10. Imagine you having to learn all of that. How does that feel? You go like, oh my God, that's too much, right? So exactly, that's why I created my Neuroshine technology as as some of all that. Like, imagine all these 10 disciplines as a different orange. Okay, so you need an orange because you need the vitamin C. Okay, so what you really need is the vitamin C. The way that I look at my Neuroshine technology is a powerful, yummy, delicious orange juice. I combined all these different oranges and I put them in a very practical filter, and then I squeezed all these oranges for you, and then I created a delicious orange juice for you. That is the vitamin. That is the practical information that you need from every single discipline. Wouldn't you like that? You would, wouldn't you? I would, because I needed that. And because I needed practical information that I can apply to my life, I also needed a practical formula that can summarize even that vitamin C, that orange juice in and of itself. And so this is the background story of this formula for change. Are you ready now? I'm going to share it right now. Okay, so here it comes. The formula for change. And by the way, change is the positive change that you are in control of. We are not talking about changing somebody or changing some other person's behaviors or changing something in the nature, changing anything that is outside of your control. We're not talking about that. We're talking about creating change and growth and transformation that you desire that is in your control. Okay? So the formula for change is this: change equals awareness multiplied by willingness. And let me now chunk down what awareness means and what willingness means. And then we're going to also talk about that multiplier right in the middle because there is actually a reason for that. So the awareness part is the distance between your consciousness and the consciousness of the universe. Okay, so we have a gap. Between what we know to be the truth and the real truth that is existing in the field of consciousness. So I studied consciousness as part of my PhD research and also my PsyD research. So the metaphysical psychology behind our behaviors is that we all want to wake up to our truth, wake up to who we really are. And then perhaps the real question is what we really are. And what we really are is we are part of the same big consciousness of the universe. You are a part of the universe. You have the universe within you. You are very, very similar to the universe as like, look at the cycles. Look at the magical power of your body, how it heals you, how it is always resilient, taking you to your next levels, how it always maximizes you to go to places that you've never dreamed about. I'm talking about your whole system, your mind, body, heart, all the system, OK, as a whole. So that awareness requires— deepening of your consciousness and upleveling your consciousness, because the real consciousness that we are a part of is the consciousness of the universe itself. And that is endless, timeless, and that's exquisite, that's majestic, and we are part of it. As we become more aware of it, now we are closing that gap. Okay? So that is what I'm talking about when I talk about awareness. Because you agree that sometimes we can be super blind to a lot of our behaviors, a lot of our traits and language patterns and thought patterns, right? Because we are programmed. We are blind to a lot of the things that we are not aware of. So the more we become aware, the more consciousness we are going to experience, the more consciousness is going to arise within us. That is what I mean by awareness, okay? And as you will also remember from my previous episodes, I talk about that awareness becoming even stronger with the Neuroshine Moments of Truth. And the more Neuroshine moments of truth that we experience is the more reality becoming a part of something we co-create. The reality that we live in is something that we co-create. And that is the power of Neuroshine moments that create more awareness that closes the gap between individual consciousness and universal consciousness. We got that, right? Yes? So this one in the pocket. Now let's talk about the willingness part. Willingness is the part that we really need to have the desire to overcome all the challenges that life throws us and the willingness to go above and beyond to experience what we are capable of and to actually materialize this power that we have within ourselves. And if we are not willing, we're never going to take action. If you're never going to take action, we are never going to get the results. And if you're never going to get the results, then we are never going to understand and become more aware of the power that lies within us, right? So willingness is something that has to do with the heart. The heart actually has the power to push you towards your goals and your dreams, and that willingness has to come from within. It needs to come from your subatomic particles. That's why we also need to understand the quantum physics and the field of infinite possibilities and how we can observe our dreams and our desire into materialization, manifestation. Okay, that is related with the quantum physics. And the part that is related with our desire is really desire to overcome the matrix limited thinking. And your mind and your heart needs to be in alignment for that willingness to arise within you. If you think different thoughts than the emotions that you feel, there's a gap. And you're not going to feel the willingness. You are going to say something, yes, I do want to achieve this goal. Yet if you look at your actions, your behaviors, they are so away from it. That is a problem because there is no willingness. And this is the part that I have also seen again and again and again in our human behaviors, in, in all of us, including me. And so that's why in the formula, the willingness plays a big, big part. We are a participant of our reality, of our life. And if you are not participating, then life is lifing and then you're just like watching it. You're just becoming the effect of it, right? So the willingness requires a lot of skills and it requires going above and beyond and not giving up. Willingness requires a certain level of mindset that takes failure and reframe that failure as just a learning, just a lesson. When you look at your experiences, just lessons, learnings, then that mindset is going to connect with your heart's desire. And that heart is going to pump that beautiful blood, magical, with the sparkles inside. And then you will be able to say, you know what? Yes, this didn't— happened before. It didn't work the way that I wanted, but now I learned what not to do. So let's move forward. And that is the willingness part that we're talking about. And that willingness also requires to have this beautiful, positive internal self-talk. What I also see people making a mistake is they make a mistake of having that internal conversation and not becoming aware of it. So now where the awareness and willingness, you know, they tangle up. When you are not aware of what you are talking to yourself, what your inner voices are doing inside, then you are the unaware victim to your own self-talk, which is super negative. And that's why first you need to be willing to become aware of what you are not aware of. And that willingness is going to make you aware. And now that you are aware, oh my God, I'm actually observing myself. And what I am telling myself every time I am unable to achieve something is actually the worst enemy talking inside me. Even the worst enemy wouldn't do that to me. So this is what we are doing. And that self-talk is this instant battle that we all go through. And this is exactly what we need to be willing to overcome. Do you see how awareness and willingness, they go hand in hand and then they just, it takes two to tango and then they tango, they dance together. So that willingness has to happen. If you don't have that willingness, Guess what? Then there is no growth mindset because willingness is the part that is needed to, to have the courage and to do it again, to not get what you want and still do it again, to not get the promotion that you want and to just go for it again, to not create the business that you want and still do it again. That is the courage. And then we all have it within us. It is a part of the universe. We are a part of it. Universe, does not understand failing. Universe and life and nature, when you look around, life is always lifing. Life never stops lifing, okay? Life is always like, okay, today I rained, tomorrow I'm gonna sunshine. Today I'm snowing, tomorrow I am going to sunshine. So this is always like, it's in the nature. Let's look at the nature and let's look at life and let's learn from life. I know I'm doing philosophy here. I just want to bust some of the assumptions that you have around life because life is not supposed to be easy. Life is supposed to be challenging. And the joy is to be able to overcome those challenges because in the overcoming, we are going to feel super confident and happy and fulfilled about who we become after having overcome those challenges. It is always in the becoming. And that's why it requires two components. Awareness and willingness. And the reason— now let's talk about the multiplier in the middle. The reason why we need the multiplier is literally a, a simple math equation. Multiply anything with 0, what do you get? 0. Correct. Multiply anything with only 1, what do you get? Just the thing itself, right? There's no growth. So this formula requires that you have more than 0 and 1 on each side. Obviously, it depends on the measurement scale that you're using. If you're using a number from 1 to 10 or 1 to 100 or 1 to 1,000, 1 to 1,000,000, whatever that is, it needs to become more than 0 and 1. On each side. If you have only one scale of awareness and only one scale of willingness, it's just one-on-one, and it's just really not like nothing there. There is still— I mean, there, there is a light. Yes, it's not zero. There is something, but is it really the change and the growth and the transformation that is required? No, we need to do more than that, better than that. Like, if you are scaling yourself every day, you want to look at how you are aware of your own self-talk, like how you're talking to yourself, the reasons why you are doing what you're doing behind your behaviors, your language patterns, the way that you talk not only to yourself, but also to others. Why are you saying what you're saying? And from 0 to 10, what would be the scale? What would be the measurement scale that you would use for your awareness? If today you are 2, but you are absolutely super willing to go do something about it, change that, then you have 20, okay, out of 100 to go change something. So that is your 20%. Yet if you also become more aware from 0 to 10 speaking, perhaps one day you educate yourself and then you become super open about, okay, what do I not know about myself and what can I know even more? Then you rise your numbers to 6, 7, 8, 9. I don't give 10s. I don't know about you, but I never give 10s because that to me is like a limitation, like there's no more growth. I know there's 11 after 10. Hey, you got my point. As, as an instructor, teacher, professor, I really do not give 10s. And then I also use the system that only gave 9s. So that worked for me. It just like programmed me. And the point is, if you give yourself 9, let's say from 0 to 10, 9 for awareness and also 9 for willingness, 9 multiplied by 9, this is what you get for the level of growth and transformation. And if you give like 10 on each side, this is what you get. If you give 100 on each side, this is what you get. So in order to double your growth, your transformation, you need to look at each side. What am I aware of? What am I willing to do? What am I not aware of? What am I not willing to do? So this is a simple formula that really simplifies your actions and lack of actions. And that is how you can measure yourself and measure your growth. And if you are somebody who is super ambitious to achieve your goals, This is exactly how you can go back to the basics and then ask yourself this basic question. How much awareness do I have about what I want to achieve? Let's say you have a goal to become a coach. This is what I can help you with, right? How much awareness do you have about becoming a coach? What does it take to become a real world-class 6-figure coach? What do you need to do? What do you need to learn? What are the skills that you need to learn? And what are the distractions you need to eliminate? Those are very important awareness points as well, okay? And you also ask yourself, what am I willing to do for it? Am I going to invest in my growth to become who I want to become? Am I going to create this business in the way that I want to create? And what am I willing to do for it? Am I willing to invest the time, money, the energy that it requires, or am I just going to wish, wishwash and then just like, like a wannapreneur, right? Not like an entrepreneur, but wannapreneur. And I can tell you that because I have been there myself for years and years and years as I was in my corporate world. I was a great wannapreneur. I always wanted to do something, to create something, but I've never acted upon it. I was not willing to invest in my growth. Can you relate? Yeah. So if you can relate, this is exactly where this formula is going to be super powerful for you. And another aspect that I want to share with you about this formula is how it changes every person regardless of their age. Get this, my mom, after the age of 60, with this formula, she transformed herself. She's 71 today. She's going to be 72 this year. She's 71 still. It took us— we co-created her— more than a decade to work on her programmed, conditioned, like, strong beliefs and attitudes. Oh my goodness. Literally everyone who comes to my training, they hear a lot about my story with my mom. This is so inspiring. This lady, my mom, She came to me when I was in my third year as a teaching neurolinguistic programming. That's how I started. I started teaching neurolinguistic programming and I invited her to Los Angeles. That's where I was living back then. Now I am in Miami. And then I said, mom, I can help you. And the reason why I said I can help you is because she needed help. This is where the story gets real with this formula for change, my dear shiny mind that you're watching or listening to me. In the year 2006, my father passed away from, from a heart attack, a very sudden heart attack that we didn't expect. So he was gone just like that, and obviously my mom was with him. She was in the same bed when he had the stroke. Can you imagine what she had to go through? And because of the guilt for 7 years she carried inside, she couldn't laugh, she couldn't wear makeup, she couldn't feel good about herself. She felt super guilty. She couldn't love herself. She couldn't feel worthy of anything. Can you relate? And I saw that, and that was heartbreaking, let alone having to go through the grief of losing my own father, also experiencing how my mother is going down and down, and she's always depressed for 7 years. Can you imagine? This is what I experienced. And that's why then I went to a formal structured training, which is neuro-linguistic programming. To me, that's where everything started with NLP. And that's why I became an NLP trainer because I loved the transformation that I experienced. And I loved the transformations that I was able to gift other people. And I said, Mom, this thing is powerful. I think it can help you. And so I invited her to come to LA. And do you know what I did? I applied the formula. I said, do you want to really work on this? Are you willing to do something really crazy? She was, yes, I'm willing to do whatever it takes. So that, that is what she had. Okay, she had the willingness. So for any one of you watching or listening or wondering, hey, can I do this? Can I change my mom? Can I change my dad? Can I change my husband, my wife? You need to ask this question: are they willing to do it? If there's no willingness, there won't be a change. Remember the formula: zero willingness, zero change. Always, they gotta be willing. They Gotta have the desire. They're just gonna want it. That's it. Okay. My mom was willing. So that was a big, big reason why we were able to transform her. And the awareness part obviously came from me with the knowledge and education and the practical skills that I was able to put together that I told you in, in Orange Juice, right? I said, Mom, this is all in your head. You're just doing it in your head. Let me show you. I took her to Santa Monica. For those of you who know LA and Santa Monica, there is the pier, and then you can actually play a lot of games in one of those places over there. And then I made her play the whack-a-mole game. You know what it is. And I said, listen, my mom, Every time you think those negative thoughts that are creating anxiety for you, because she was becoming so anxious whenever she couldn't get a hold of me. You can, like, you can relate to her trauma that she went through with my father, right? So that trauma just showed up everywhere in her life. Every time she called me and I couldn't answer the phone, like she would lose control. She would get so anxious that would become super uncontrollable. And I said, this is all in your head. Listen to me. Every time you actually think about those negative thoughts, just you're going to imagine that you are going to play this game, but in your head. You're just going to play the game and you are going to just like step on those. Like you literally need to smash those inner voices just like you're doing right now to get rid of all the negativity in your head. Guess what? It worked. And then I have all the pictures from that day. What a fascinating historic day. She loved playing the game and she loved literally making those anxious voices in her head super silent. It started as a game and then every time we came to the same point, she was like, you know what? I'm just playing the game in my head and it is working. Oh yeah, I couldn't reach out and then I I couldn't find you, but guess what? I am able to play that game in my head. This is where we started. And then next thing you know, she tells me, what exactly are you doing again in your trainings? I think I need to join your training. I was like, what? She joined my trainings and that was 2013 and we are in 2025 and my mom Today is a completely different individual. My mom before all this work, all this work of change and growth and transformation was this Turkish woman. For those of you who know that part of the world, it can be really, really crazy with the mindset. And also, it also doesn't help that my mom actually, not only my mom, like we are from a very small town. Okay. And that small town, that small thinking, actually what made me seek these solutions, these formulas, these practical tools. And my mom also realized that she needed it before she started the training and the coaching sessions with me. She was this woman who was absolutely ignorant and always right about everything. She never was wrong. And she, she knew everything at the best. And then she was always right. And then her point and Potato Head matrix thinking, right? Always like judging, always knowing everything about everyone, assumptions and critics and opinions and all that stuff. Dogmatic, automated, all that stuff. And now my mom is— I can tell you, I'm super proud that my mom is my licensed master practitioner. Not even practitioner, master practitioner of neuro-linguistic programming, my certified Neuroshine technology coach, And in addition to that, she's also my assistant trainer in the Turkish language whenever I need. So I get to tell my mom, Mom, I have a pressing issue, a business conversation. I need you to put your coaching hat on and I need you to coach me. And then she's able to do that. How is that for a change with the formula for change? My dear shiny mind who's watching me right now, This is real. I am a living example of the formula, not only myself and the change and transformation I was able to create with my mom, but also I helped thousands of people and I actually was able to certify more than 500 coaches around the globe, more than 50 countries. 50 in 6 continents. This formula works. This formula is magical. Again, the formula is change equals awareness multiplied by willingness. If you are willing to become aware and willing, then you are going to change. You are going to grow, and then you are going to transform. That reality that you think to be too far away is far away in your head. You just need to close the gap in your thinking, in your consciousness, like I explained before, the level of our consciousness and the level of universal consciousness. Where are you with it? How aware are you? And then are you willing to become more aware? And it is going to be uncomfortable. I need to give you a side effect. The side effect at the beginning, is going to become uncomfortable because you're going to wake up to all the, like, things that you don't want to know about yourself. Those are the shadows that we have, and we all have them because we are human beings, okay? And because we are human beings, because we have all these incredible powers that we are not aware of, we also have the shadow frequencies of them. And this is what we're talking about. And that's why it's going to require willingness to face your shadows, to face your fears, and to say, you know what, it's okay. Challenge accepted. I am going to overcome everything. This is the game of life that we play. And this is the formula that is going to help you to play the game of life. So there you have it, my formula for change. My dear shiny mind, I hope you really enjoyed this episode as much as I did sharing that video. Please put a like and share with your friends if you did, and of course subscribe to my channel for more videos just like this, because as you know, we are on a mission together. You and I, we are going to Make this world a better place with more love and shiny minds. Keep shining your light.