EP 6 - 4 Qualities of A Coaching Mindset You Need to Know 💪

Welcome back to the Shiny Minds Show with Dr Shiny. I am Dr Shiny, and today I want to talk to you about 4 qualities of a coaching mindset. If you're ready, let's begin. Are you ready to shine? Come on, it's the shiny one. You got this. So let's start by defining what coaching is, especially for those of you who are coaching, consulting, mentoring, providing some sort of teaching modality, it is truly important that you understand the definition of coaching within the context of International Coaching Federation. As an ICF Master Certified Coach and ICF Distinguished Coach Educator, I teach coaching and certify coaches every single day. I also mentor coaches and I also to give them the passing grade that is required for the ICF for them to earn their credentials. So mentor coaching, teaching coaching, and coaching mindset, they're all together, and it all starts by understanding the definition of coaching. So here is the definition. Please pay attention to every single word in it because Every single word in this sentence has been researched, carefully calculated by International Coaching Federation. Here it comes. Coaching is partnering up with a client in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential. This is the definition of coaching. So coaching is not teaching, not mentoring, not telling them what to do, not therapy, not consulting, not advising. None of that. Coaching is a process, a creative process. And the idea is to inspire the client so that they're super inspired to go maximize their own potential. That's what we're doing. This is the definition of coaching. All right. So then what is the definition of coaching mindset? Well, if you take that coaching mindset in my Nourish Shine technology language, coaching mindset is adopting this definition from the ICS definition of coaching. This definition, we take this and then we apply it to every single area of our life. With our friends, family, teams, coworkers, colleagues, the people that we hang out with, strangers, life, emotions, objects, everything, whatever you do in life. If you have the coaching mindset, which means you partner up with life, with people, with yourself to begin with. So now let's talk about the 4 qualities because I already started talking about it. Quality number 1 that significantly shows you that you have a coaching mindset. Number 1, the first quality is the partnership. Okay, so you do have this partnership mindset. You partner up with people. You don't assume that they agree with you. You don't assume that you know everything that they think, they feel, they believe, they want, they desire, or they don't want. There is no assumption. There is an empty cup. You are able to let go of your own assumptions, let go of your own predetermined opinions, and then you are ready to open up with full flexibility, which is a Big sign of social and emotional intelligence. More than anything else, you got to have flexibility. And that is going to show up in your behaviors, your language, and the way that you show up in your life. So what do we mean by partnership mindset? Well, my Neuroshine technology has this approach to life that Whenever you are having a conversation with someone, you need to pause and you need to ask yourself this question: what is the source of this decision? So perhaps you're just sharing an idea, sharing an opinion, and you have just made a decision about something. And I want you to pause and I want you to ask yourself this question: what is the source of this decision? Am I the only one in this conversation making that decision, or is it a partnership? If you are in a partnership, if you are in a, in an intimate relationship, well, this is absolutely going to help you for that. If you are in a family situation, if you have siblings, cousins, friends, colleagues, team members You get the idea, right? Every time you bring this mindset, every time you bring this partnership language, this partnership mindset, you're going to transform the way that you show up because you're not going to assume that people are going to agree with you. People are going to think like you. No, you're going to assume that, oh, okay, we are in a partnership. By no means I am the only decision-making power here. We are co-creating this. And so let me just not make the assumption. And how does it show up? It shows up in a language where you get to ask, hey, I'm thinking about going to this place this weekend. What do you think about it? It's a partnership language versus, hey, I made a reservation to this place, so we're going there on Friday. Do you see the difference? In the second one, you are the only one who chose the spot, who made the decision, and then you're going. So the other party is going to feel forced, and then the other party may not be able to speak up, may not be able to tell you, oh, this is not the place that I want to go, whatever that is. And take this in a meeting in a workplace situation. You are the only decision-making person and the only decision-maker as a leader, and you tell your team, hey, this is what we're going to do, and then this is when it is going to be done. This is going to be delivered, this project. And then your team is like doing this, but nobody's saying anything. Why? Because you haven't asked them. They have no ownership. You're literally telling them, you're forcing them, and then they have no ownership, they have no partnership. And if you don't have it, then it also does not fall under the partnership mindset, the partnership language, right? You're the only one who's making that decision, and you're assuming that everyone, everyone is okay with it. If not, then you don't have the coaching mindset. All right. So that is the number one quality, partnership mindset, partnership language. Number 2, let's talk about the second quality of having a coaching mindset, which is actually understanding and appreciating that there is interconnectedness in, in everything that we do. And interconnectedness means you're having a conversation with someone and what they're telling you is something that you don't experience in your life. Perhaps you're telling them, oh, never mind, not a big deal. Don't worry about it. Why do you care so much? Just let it go, right? So the minute you say that, you're actually avoiding the person's emotions in front of you. Okay, this is such a subtle acts, subtle behavior that you're not even aware. You have all the good intentions, right? Your intention is to help your friend to feel good about themselves and then not worry about it, right? That's your intention. I understand. Yet the interconnected of things is when they bring that issue and when you don't want to deal with it, when you come from the approach of avoiding the pain and not dealing with the pressure of the pain, guess what's going to happen? You're going to do everything like that in your own life, and you're going to feel that avoidance in every area of your life. How you do one thing is how you do everything. This is the interconnectedness. And so this is the negative sign of interconnectedness. The positive side, which is the quality of a coaching mindset, is understanding that everything is interconnected, understanding that, oh, there is something going on in this conversation. I am sure there is something, a part of me that can learn something from this conversation because everything is linked to everything else. And perhaps there has been a time and a day that I could use this information to rewire, to change the perspective and to become more. Okay. That is the quality of interconnectedness, like seeing everything in every conversation like a little dot. Here is the brain. You're literally taking one neuron here and then stitching to the other one and stitching to the other one. And then you're literally creating a neural network of self-empowerment. You're literally rewire— you're literally programming, reprogramming your neurons by telling them that, hey, Everything is interconnected. What I learn in this conversation is going to help me in my next conversation, and it's going to help me in every area of my life. Therefore, I'm not going to avoid. I'm not going to dismiss. I'm not going to ghost. I'm going to deal with it. OK, I'm going to have a conversation. I'm going to deal with it. I'm going to cope with it. I have the mindset. I have the skill set. And I can do this. It's, we call this self-regulation. And there are a lot of people in the world, unfortunately, who are still avoiding difficult conversations, who are still avoiding having this communication around pain and difficulties, which is making the other person feel unheard, unsafe, unseen, undervalued, and not free. And that's why a coaching mindset is the opposite of it. A coaching mindset, in my language, knows the interconnectedness of everything and then connects everything to everything else, okay? In the pocket. Number 3. Now let's talk about the third quality of having a coaching mindset, which is quite fantastic. If you are a science nerd just like me, you're gonna love this one, uh, a lot, which is the scientific approach. What do I mean by that? The way that I teach coaching is I tell my students, my clients, empty your cup first. If you come with your own judgments, with your own limiting beliefs, with your own, oh, this is how it's supposed to be, and if it is not like that, then, then I'm not playing. If this is the approach, then your, your, your cup is full. There is no room for somebody else to pour something over to you because your cup is full. You're just not going to be able to take it or contain it. And because of that, I use that metaphor of emptying the cup. When you empty the cup, then you're basically letting go of your assumptions and you are able to let go of whatever you believe to be the truth. And you are stretching your neurons, your mindset, and you are open. You're flexible and you have a scientific approach. You know nothing. You're just discovering. You know, when you talk to a scientist, they tell you it is not certain. It's only 97% correct, right? Because there is still 3% of that could go wrong. This is exactly what I'm talking about. When you are in conversations and then when you are telling something, oh, You are this. Oh, you're being too weak. Oh, is that scientific? Let's talk about it. Is there a place that they may not be very weak? Is there a context where they are truly powerful? Is there a conversation that you can go dig? When you dig, you can find something truly valuable and powerful about that person, that trait, that character. If the answer is yes, then I invite you to drop that kind of conversations. No more periods at the end of your sentences. Instead, question marks. I always believe we need to communicate with question marks instead of periods at the end of our sentences because of this, because we need a scientific approach to communication, to our relationships, because that's the only way. What do you know about yourself, right? We are still trying to figure out who we are ourselves, let alone we're assuming that we know everything about that person, right? So that's why scientific approach is, in my language, another quality of having a coaching mindset. Somebody with a coaching mindset is going to use a language that always leaves some room for mistakes, for uncertainty, and for, for other possibilities. We live in a world and a universe of infinite possibilities. So then it only makes sense scientifically that we should also adopt that kind of scientific and the language of infinite possibilities. And how it sounds like is that, sounds exactly like this. Hey, to me, your approach sounds like this. What do you think? It's not like, oh my God, you're too weak. What the hell are you doing? You know what I mean? You don't want to say that because then you are actually putting yourself in a position that You can be wrong. And if you're wrong, then you're not in a place of valuing the information that is truthful, that is concrete. You are somebody who does not value accuracy. You're okay to say what is wrong. Is this who you want to be? If, if that is, then That is certainly not a sign of coaching mindset. Coaching mindset, in my language, again, this is, this is my language of it, my Neuroshine technology. There are so many other coaching schools out there and then coaching educators out there. I don't know how they teach it. The way that I teach it is we need to embody the infinite possibilities of the universe. And if you need to marry science and spirituality and have that language. So that is another quality that I look for in a coaching mindset. And last but not least, the fourth quality of having a coaching mindset is respecting the cosmic light, the cosmic wisdom, the cosmic power in every single human being. What does that mean? It means that you're not gonna try to fix people's problems, you're not going to give your opinions to others, you're not going to give advice, you're not going to judge them, you're not going to assume that they don't know anything, You're going to assume the opposite. You're going to assume, hmm, these are cosmic beings just like me. These human beings, they have the cosmic light within themselves just like me. They know exactly what needs to be done. They have the wisdom within themselves. They have the capacity to tap into the infinite power and consciousness. Because it is in the infinite wisdom and the consciousness. When I was studying for my metaphysical science in my doctorate degree, I went through thousands of hours of materials studying, and I realized that there is only one truth, and that truth is that We all come from this cosmic light within, which is the consciousness. Consciousness is all there is, and we are a part of it. And then we all have it within us, around us, and we are all a part of it. And that is who we are. That is what we are in a human outfit that we picked. That's why honoring the light within each and every single person is a part of my understanding of a coaching mindset. In my language, coaching mindset is transcending. It's transformational. It's combining the power of the mind with the wisdom of the heart so that everyone can tap into their own power within to maximize their own potential. That is the fourth quality of having a coaching mindset. So there you have it. Let me summarize. Number one quality of having a coaching mindset. We talked about having a partnership mindset and partnership language. We talked about having the interconnectedness and then seeing that everything can teach us something and show us something that we can deal with in our life. We talked about the scientific approach, the science approach of not assuming stuff. And we also talked about honoring the light, the cosmic light. Within others as cosmic beings. So those are 4 signs that I believe that are signs that are qualities of having a coaching mindset. This is the world I want to live in. If this is also the world that you want to live in, then I invite you to join me. Join me. Let's embrace a coaching mindset. And let me know in the comments, what do you think? What do you think a coaching mindset is? And if you ever worked with a coach, how was it? Did they have a coaching mindset like I shared with you? And if not, how was it for you? I would love to hear. So please put a comment and let me know what you think. And let's just Make this world truly a better place. You and I, we can do this with more love and shiny minds. Until next time, my shiny mind, keep shining your light.