In this solo YouTube episode, Dr Shiny Unsal AI, an ICF Master Certified Coach, NLP‑licensed educator, and founder of the Academy of Neuroshine Technology, warns corporate leaders that they often mistake coaching for micromanaging. She outlines three concrete signs of this confusion: (1) relying on telling and directive language instead of asking powerful questions; (2) focusing on fixing employees’ weaknesses rather than amplifying their strengths; and (3) using commanding, fear‑triggering language that activates the amygdala. For each sign she explains why it violates the ICF definition of coaching—a partnership that provokes thought and inspires clients to maximize their own potential—and offers practical language‑awareness fixes, including shifting to question‑based dialogue, adopting a strengths‑first mindset, and employing hypnotic, NLP‑informed phrasing. Unsal also shares a simple change formula (Awareness × Willingness) and invites viewers to enroll in her Academy of Neuroshine Technology for deeper training. The episode blends credential‑building, educational content, and a promotional call‑to‑action, aiming to elevate leaders’ consciousness and transform corporate culture from command‑and‑control to heart‑centered coaching.
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Are you a corporate leader perhaps confusing what coaching is with micromanaging? If you are wondering why, listen up. I have 3 signs it might be the case for you and how you can fix it. Let's begin. Are you ready to shine? Come on, it's the shiny one. You got this. My dear shiny mind, you who's watching, may I invite you to hit that subscribe button This way, you and I are going to become partners in shine and elevate the consciousness in the world. Thank you so much in advance, and I'll see you inside. Hello everyone. Welcome to the Shiny Minds Show with Dr Shiny. I am Dr Shiny Unsal AI, the proud creator of my transformational coaching education curriculum, Neuroshine Technology, the founder and CEO of the Academy of Neuroshine Technology with Master Certified Coach credential from the International Coaching Federation, which puts me at the top 4% of all the coaches in the world. And I also hold a licensing to teach and certify NLP practitioners and master practitioners because I am licensed through the genius behind Neuro Linguistic Programming, the co-founder of NLP, Dr. Richard Bandler. I am a faculty member at UCLA Extension. I have Author 2 distinct courses at UCLA Extension. One is the Leadership Communication Strategies. The other one is Managing Yourself and Others with Emotional Intelligence. I am the author of the book You Are a Star, Shine. I am a speaker who shared a stage with the world leaders like Les Brown, Gary Vaynerchuk, Grant Cardone, and Brendon Burchard. And now I want to bring to you the nuggets of wisdom that I have been collecting for the past 15 years teaching my Neuroshine technology as a world-class ICF accredited coaching education. And for those of you who are not familiar with ICF, it stands for International Coaching Federation. ICF is the global organization that accredits schools and education programs for the rigorous quality that they bring to the world of coaching. And because coaching still remains an irregulated industry, ICF plays the most important role, the most precious role for us to represent and demonstrate the highest levels of standards, ethics, competencies, and obviously the heart-centered profession that we provide for the world. Today I want to talk to you about how coaching can be mistaken with micromanaging or telling, especially if you are in the corporate world and if you are a leader managing your team, managing different people and different organizations inside your organization. You might be thinking that you are coaching your team, you are giving them feedback, you are fixing their problems, and you are actually giving them a list of to-dos. As part of your coaching. And then I'll tell you why it's not really coaching. It's actually fixing. It's command and control. It's the conditioning that we bring because we are programmed to operate like that in the corporate world. And if it is still the case for you, I would like to shine a light on this matter because as a proud ICF Distinguished Coach Educator, I teach coaching and certify coaches day in, day out. I do evaluate coaching performances, teach coaching skills, and then I also hold it very dear to my heart to look what is going on behind the language, behind the action, and behind the behavior. Because there is always the mechanics of the behavior, what comes before the behavior. Behavior is the end result, and that's why they are the signs. I'm going to start with the first sign. The first sign, you might be mistaking coaching with micromanaging or controlling. I know it doesn't sound sexy, but it is the reality. You might be thinking, okay, I give all the feedback, I tell them where to correct themselves, and then I tell them exactly what to do, and therefore I am coaching. If that is the equation in your head, let me break the news. You are not coaching. You are providing some sort of information for your team, for your people to see what is wrong, what not to do. So you're just telling them what not to do. And if you are still operating with the telling approach, that is so not coaching. And that is so not falling under the definition of what coaching is in the world of International Coaching Federation. And then I'll tell you the definition of coaching. Coaching is partnering up with clients in a thought-provoking and a creative process to inspire them to maximize maximize their own personal and professional potential. Given this definition, you can see that it is for them to get the inspiration so that they do get to maximize their own potential. You get that, right? So it is not something that you personally go and do anything to fix in their behaviors, to fix in their language, to fix how they are doing the tasks and not doing the task and creating the projects and delivering all outcomes that they're expected to. Coaching is being able to grow them to their potential. In our language, in the world of Neuroshine technology, coaching is a partnership of two hearts. You get together heart to heart, because if there is no heart, then there is no open space. If you are only operating in the mind, That is outdated because the mind carries all the conditioning and all the upbringing programs that we gathered from our parents, from our society, that we may not even have questioned yet. We may not even have audited yet. And then we might be carrying all these automated programs and then we're thinking that we have a great process. And so because they are all automated and they are just not in your awareness and you think that that's the, that's the problem. You think that you are good at coaching and the problem is the heart is not there. Therefore, there is no alignment with who you are, your potential, and with who they are, their potential. When the potentials are not engaging, when the potentials are not in exchange of communication and energy and frequency, you are not really coaching a person. You're basically telling them what to do and what not to do. That's the loop that you can catch yourself. So here is a question you can ask yourself if you have this sign. When you look at your daily activities and your communication patterns with your team. What do you see? Your own patterns I'm asking about. Do you notice that you are in this chair of authority and then you basically tell them, do this, do that, do this, do that, which is great and not enough. That's not, that's not coaching, that's managing. That's actually, it can even be micromanaging. So when you catch yourself, oh, I, I do a lot of telling. If you are not using question marks in your conversations, in your communication patterns with your team, that's a sign which makes you a teller, not a coach. Hello, Shiny Minds. Sorry to interrupt, but I just wanted to tell you that this Shiny Minds show is sponsored by my Academy of Neuroshine Technology, where myself as the founder and my hand-selected amazing elite ICF accredited coach educators are here to support you, to make you feel safe, seen, heard, appreciated, free to become whoever you want to be, and also transformed forever inside out. We are here to hold your hands and to support your growth. If you ever feel like there is this part of you who wants to become more and achieve more, then Go to shinyunsal.com, grab that PDF, and search where you can begin. We are here to support you. We are here to transform you. The second sign that you might be confusing coaching with telling is how you are fixing their weaknesses instead of focusing and expanding on their strengths. You know, the strengths and weaknesses, the SWOT analysis, the good old SWOT techniques. If you are always in that perspective and you're always trying to fix what is wrong with them, the weakness that they have, guess what is going to happen? You are going to find yourself in a position of focusing on the negative. And then what you focus on expands. In the world of quantum reality, the quantum mechanics, you are observing only that reality and that reality comes into being, because you are only focusing on that and observing that. And then when you are observing that, everything else collapses, and then only that reality becomes the possibility for you. Which is their weakness? Oh, she cannot pay attention to details, right? Giving you an example. And then if you keep focusing on fixing what is their weakness, then you are losing all this other part, which is full of their skills and greatness and strengths. When you find yourself in this fixing modality, what I am going to invite you to focus on is coaching is not used for fixing. Coaching is used so wrong in the corporate world. I know so many cases because I work with so many people. Coaching is not the last resort. Oh, you know what? My team member is not performing, so I think she needs coaching. So you basically use coaching as if that's a punishment, that is some sort of a last resort fixing so that they can start performing at the level that they're expected to. That's where it gets really confusing because that is not what coaching is. Coaching is, again, coaching is empowering people to become aware and willing so that they get to own their own responsibility to become their better self. If you find yourself in these situations, here is what you can do to help yourself and your team. You ask yourself, am I focusing on the negative reasons, the negative outcomes, and what is their weakness instead of focusing on their strengths and how I can actually utilize what they bring to the table instead of trying to fix them into a box that is fixed before. That is so very, very common. I remember my own background in the corporate marketing and advertising world when I had the biggest Fortune 100 brands that I was managing millions of dollars. I remember there were always certain things to do things, and then I would bring ideas, and I would be very creative. And my creativity was not always welcome. And my desire to get educated, my desire to expand, to learn, to actually look at other best practices, it was punished. It was judged and yeah, sometimes even shamed. And that was not a good place to be. If there was an option for coaching, I would totally take it. There was not an option. In today's world, I know coaching is wider than ever and more accepted than ever. I just want to become the voice for you if you're a corporate leader so that you don't look at coaching as a fixing solution instead of growing tool. The third sign you might be confusing coaching with telling or fixing is in the way that you communicate with your team. We talked about how giving feedback is not really coaching. It's really like showing them what not to do. It's somewhat similar with this one. This third sign is your everyday language, not only when you give feedback. It's every day when you talk, when you communicate with your team members, you might be using a commanding language, somewhat like, do this, do that. I need this presentation by tomorrow, 2 PM. I want you to look at this and then find all the issues and then fix it for our customer management system. Just look at your language. And as an outsider, if you just rise above your own perspective and become a consultant, become, become me, for example, an educational communication leadership consultant. If I look at that, then if I look at all the other people people that are involved in this conversation, what would I see? I would perhaps see the team members being a little bit too much controlled, feeling a little bit too much overpowered, and feeling boxed and stuck because they don't have a voice. They do have their own skill set. They do have their own powers, and you need to let them shine. If you keep telling them what to do, if you keep giving orders and commanding, they are not going to feel free. They're not going to feel full of power and full of skills and full of energy to be exerted to their projects. It's a very intimate balance. It's very delicate. And it requires you to become super aware of your language, not only the language structure, I mean the literal selection of your words. Instead of, I need you to listen to me, can you really shift it to a question mark and say, would that be okay if we could just focus on right now for 10 minutes, very straight, so that we are done, right? You are using a wider, what we call in neurolinguistic programming, a more hypnotic language so that you don't necessarily go trigger your team members' amygdala. Amygdala is the part of the brain that regulates our fear, our emotions, and our survival. When you are not aware of what you are doing and why your communication, the selection of words are actually the triggers, the real triggers, people might be getting offended or jumping into defending. If you don't know that, if you don't know those mental mechanics, of course you're not going to be a better communicator and more effective leader because you don't understand the mechanics. So for all of these reasons, I invite you to study your brain, understand the mechanics of the mental world we all operate with because we are all the same. We all have the same mental processing. We all have the same language patterns. We all have the same behavioral patterns, and then we can all deprogram them and reprogram them. And that is the power of mind and re-shine technology. And if you are a corporate leader and if you ever resonated with any of these three signs, I am telling you, congratulations for your awareness because I also do have this super simple formula for change that all my coaching clients, my coaching students, clients love so much. Change equals awareness multiplied by willingness. Now that you're aware, guess what you all need to do? Yep, rise up to your willingness and do what it takes to change it, turn it around, use the right tools, Use the support of coaching education programs like Academy of Neuroshine Technology so that we can support you and your team so you enjoy the results and the difference that you make in the world. So that's all for today. Thank you for watching. And until next time, keep shining your light.
