Dr. Shiny Unsal breaks down five mental blocks that derail coaches: hidden assumptions that make you project your own thinking onto clients instead of helping them solve their own problems. She stresses integrity, responsive communication, and shifting from problem-solving to empowerment.
Chapters
Assumption is what is going to sum up everything that your default system is going to do. Again, it's not your fault. It's your default. Okay. That's the survival system. It just does it. So that's why we got to catch it. That's what we are competing against, right? So we need to pass through the survival. So the assumption is where you can catch, oh, Is this my assumption? Then you're gonna catch your comparisons, your deletions, your distortions, your generalizations. If that is your assumption, then you're just bringing your own projection, your own map of the world, and it's really not about your client. Because now you're like, oh, I know how this one goes, let me jump in. Then, because you're assuming that you are right, okay? No assuming, no judging, no approving.
It was nice to talk about the, the mental coaching blocks, the 5 Coaching blocks, it was good to see what we had, what I learned through the modules and then applying them to what, how they could get in the way potentially from a coaching perspective. So I really appreciated that. I definitely have my own things to work on, so that's good to know. And I reflected, I didn't realize that this cohort was as global as it is. So I think that's wonderful as well too. New Zealand, Namibia, Albania. I think there may have been a few others. So that's really wonderful to hear that.
Like no matter where we come from, no matter where we are, we are human. And then that's what connects us, you know? Humanity, we are craving for this, and then we all unite around the same values. Look at us, we're all talking about the same values. We care about the same things. We want to make a difference, and then we want to be purpose-serving, and we want to be useful. He wants me to solve his problem. Let me come up with ideas just to fix the situation. I got this. My problem solvers in the house, I'm a great problem solver. That, that one was so hard for me. I don't want you to fix my problem. I just want you to just listen to me, goddamn it, right? But I'm so good at Solving problems, let me solve it for you. No, no, no, no, no. If you solve it for them, they're still unable to solve their problems. They're not empowered. That's not coaching. Coaching is empowering the person, growing the person so that they can solve their own problem. When you place your integrity above and beyond everything in your life, do what you say you will do. Say what you really mean to say, not you wished you say. Stop promising things and not delivering. Because it truly damages your character, your reputation, everything, and then you feel a little bit, you know, awkward inside. When you keep your appointment times, give more importance to being on time, show up with full integrity and do not miss things. And when you communicate with people, when you are responsive, when you are not reactive but responsive, to respond, even it's a short response, And sometimes I've seen with a lot of people, there's the habit of ghosting. You know, if there is a bad habit of ghosting, which can be very unconscious right now, you might think that, oh my God, you know, that is not important. Like, I'm, I don't need to respond. Just respond. That is going to shape the integration of the wholeness of everything. Even if it is just one thing, like in our world, put an emoji, put something, that's responsiveness. And when you are creating a communication policy aligned with your truth and then express it, tell people, you know what, I'm going to take 24 to 72 hours to respond to you. And that creates accountability within yourself. So that part of you who kind of feels, I don't feel like, you know, responding right now, when you have that policy that you integrated with your own self, then you show up for yourself and it becomes an integrity point, not anybody else's. When we also take full responsibility for the effect of our language on ourselves and on others before we say anything, that is the part that makes communication a mastery. I want you to become your own delicious self. That's what we are going to do, and that's what I am going to bring as my solution to you, because all these programming, all these like societal conditioning That creates the gap between where we are and then where we want to be. There is a reason for that. It's, it's, it's the conditioning. So the solution is you master your coaching mindset and you master yourself. That's it. We're going to reverse engineer all these 5 automated mental processes of this brain. Okay. And then use them to make your brain work for you, not against We're gonna use science. We're gonna combine the power of your mind with the wisdom of your heart to unlock your coaching potential with my Neuroshine technology, and you're gonna make your difference in the world.
