EP 9 - YOUR ABILITY TO RESPOND = FREEDOM 🗝️

Welcome back to the Shiny Minds Show with Dr Shiny. I am Dr Shiny, and in today's episode, we're going to talk about freedom and why it is your ability to respond. If you're ready, let's begin. Are you ready to shine? Come on, it's the shiny one. You got this. In my language, in my Neuroshine Technology language, Our freedom is that galactic space between what happens and how we respond to it. And in today's episode, I would love to talk to you about a Harvard study that was made on a group of women for 80 years to understand what makes them live longer and even happier. And it's not what you think. We're going to look at the concept of freedom by looking at the concept of responsibility. We're going to look at victim mindset versus freedom mindset. We're going to look at why most of the people will never take responsibility for their life and why you must. And we are also going to look at your freedom through your choices. And at the end, I would love to ask you a question, a coaching question. So that is how our episode is going to be like. And to begin with, let me clarify what I mean by your ability to respond. Ability is a skill. You're either born with it or you improve it, you learn it. Through life, right? So that's your skill. And respond obviously is different than react. At any given moment, we do have a choice. That choice becomes a choice only when you put your consciousness to it. If consciousness enters into your decision-making process, which requires a bit longer time, for you to process upstairs and also connect with the heart. In that moment, now you have the choice. Now you are free. If you do not have that consciousness entering into that galactic space that I mentioned, because that is the only space that we are free when something happens and then you respond to it. This is how we live life. Think about it. Something happens, you respond to it or you react to it. Something else happens, you either react to it or you respond to it. That's what makes life life. And that's why it is truly important for us to understand the freedom, the concept of freedom is in every single moment you make a decision. You're always making a decision. You're deciding to walk or talk. You're deciding to work or not work. You're deciding to cook or not cook. You're deciding to eat healthy or unhealthy. Every single decision that you make is either a reaction or your response. Let me give you an example. You're having a conversation and Your friend is asking you, oh, hold on, I didn't understand what you said. Did you mean this or that? And you're like, well, I told you, I explained to you what happened. It is this. But and then they're unclear. I'm not clear. Yeah, you told me that, but I'm not clear. So if the person you're communicating with is not clear, which means you did not take your responsibility to become crystal clear in the way that you deliver your message. That's an example. Another example, if you are in a conversation that can be with a friend or that can be in a workplace situation, in a meeting, in a professional setting, if the feedback you are receiving is that, yeah, you told me you're listening to me. You're making sounds like, mm-hmm, aha, but I don't feel like you're listening to me. Like, I don't feel heard. And in that moment, it means that you did not take your responsibility to improve your listening skill, your active listening skill, because listening doesn't mean just like just being quiet and then just saying, mm-hmm, without not even creating eye contact or responding back with a question or responding back with a comment. If you're just like going, mm-hmm, uh-huh. And if the person is feeling disconnected, then it is on you, my friend, my dear shiny mind. I need to wake you up. This is not listening. Listening requires your neurons. Your neurons need to be active. Your neurons need to get involved with the content, with the conversation, with the topic, the agenda. And you need to have a two-way communication. And you need to make the person feel safe, seen, heard, appreciated, and free. If not, you're not listening. And then that is on you. That is your responsibility. And another scenario that I hear all the time, like all the time, it's everywhere. Now you're going to pay attention and agree with me. You know how you make a point and then some other people don't agree with you? That's all right. When people don't agree with you, It's all right. Take it easy. People do not have to agree with you. If you are unable to manage your own emotions, manage your frustration or anger, if it bubbles up inside of you, and then if it expresses itself in your tonality, then you are reacting. You're not responding. The moment the consciousness does not have the time to just jump into that galactic space between what happens and then how you respond to it, forget it. You're not free and you're not taking responsibility. Something else, and then you, you might ask, okay, what's going on in that moment then, Shiny? Well, in that moment, your programs, your conditioning from your childhood, from your society, from how you were raised, The conditioning, the programming is the one that is reacting. It's, it's a computer program, stimulus and reaction, stimulus and reaction, stimulus and reaction. There is no response over there. The whole concept of freedom and responsibility is that responsiveness. You need to have responsibility. Does that make sense, my friend? And so Those are some examples of how responsibility show up in your life. And now let's tie it back to this study that I mentioned at the beginning. Remember the Harvard study that they made on a group of women for, for 80 years, and then they studied what makes them live longer and happier? Guess what? Can you guess what it is? Put it in the comments below. If, if you can guess what it is, please put it in the comments below. I'm curious. Because the answer is not, it's not having millions of dollars in the bank. It's not having the best look in the mirror. It's not having the best things and best materials that you, you want to have in your life. Those are add-ons. Those are cherry on top in my language. What the study finds is that we are the happiest when we live our life on our own terms. Boom! You gotta be living your life on your own terms, in alignment with your truth. That is actually what makes me super excited because that's what I'm all about. Nourish Shine Technology— I created this technology, this curriculum, because I needed my own freedom. I needed my truth. I wanted to live in alignment with my truth. And then this study proves that you're going to live happier and then you're going to live longer if you are able to tap into what's in your heart and if you can create a life around what makes your heart sing. Here's the problem, though. Now we're going to talk about why majority of people will never ever take responsibility and why you certainly must. The majority of people will not take responsibility is because it is not easy and we are programmed. We live in a time where we are still running this old programming, this old paradigm that makes us believe that we should be afraid of each other. We should, we must actually listen to each other. And then we must just follow the crowd. We must do things in a certain way. We must live a certain way. We must look a certain way. We must have relationships in a certain way. This is the old paradigm. You shiny minds, it's the old paradigm. We are living in a different time, a different era. This era is the Aquarius— I mean, the Aquarius era, that's for sure in the astrological, astronomical, and cosmological, like cosmic language. In my language, it's time for freedom. It's the era of Freedom. Freedom shows up in different ways. The biggest sign of freedom is your ability to respond when there is uncertainty, because majority of people are not going to take responsibility because they are afraid of the unknown. They do have an addiction to certainty. Do you have addiction to certainty? Do you have addiction to your job, your people around you, your food, the way you do things, your fixed thinking, your approach, your style, your political party, your religious views, anything that you do in a certain way? Are you addicted to them? Or can you expand your thinking? Can you insert consciousness into your thinking? Can you actually go galactic, in my language, to actually realize that you might be wrong? You might be wrong. Well, isn't that a concept? That's Everywhere. Seriously, that's everywhere. If you are unable to expand your thinking and to get curious about some other perspectives, get curious about yourself and others, that's fixed thinking. That's linear thinking. That's just one-way street. That's so 3D. It's black or white. No, we do not live in a world where things are black and white. In 2022, the Nobel Prize actually went to 3 physicists proving that locality does not exist. So we are cosmically entangled, which means that our thoughts, our language, our emotions, our being is all always everywhere. We live in that infinite possibility universe. What it also means is that your view here may not be the same here. When you believe, and when you insist that it is the 9 AM here, well, if you were here, then you would be wrong in another locality, in another location, right? So just like that, everything is different in this world. You got to be open. You got to expand your thinking. Just because you cannot see something, it doesn't mean that it doesn't exist. Well, you have your cell phones and you can connect to each other by just logging into a Wi-Fi, right? What is a Wi-Fi? I want you to ask yourself, what is Wi-Fi? Wi-Fi, can you actually see the internet? Is it visible? No. But how come you believe in that? How come you believe there is some certainty and there is some visibility in your internet, your usage of Wi-Fi? You question some other invisible concepts. Like metaphysics. I just received the approval of my second doctorate in metaphysical psychology today. Yes, let me also just share it here with all of you, my shiny minds. I received it because I am passionate about studying the invisible. And if you're wondering what is my dissertation is about, it is about the metaphysical psychology behind human behaviors, which is all going to go back to consciousness. Okay. So there is this consciousness in the universe that is the fundamental fabric of what we have and tying it back to responsibility and your freedom. What you need to understand is that this universe is self-aware, and it is only becoming self-aware through you, through us, through each other, through every one of us. Universe is becoming aware of itself. So your awareness is everything. If you are not aware, if you're not able to put your consciousness into your decision-making, if you're not conscious about your ability to respond, But if you are automated like a robot in the way that you react to things, you react to life, guess what happens? You are the victim of everything. Now we're going to talk about victim mindset versus freedom mindset. Victim mindset is when anything and everything that has power over you That is the victim mindset. If you let things, people, situations, emotions overpower you, game over, you lose. Are you a loser? Do you want to lose in life? I don't think so. I don't think you want to lose. I think you want to win. I think you're a winner. I think you're a creator. And for you to become a winner, a creator, you must rise above your victim patterns. And you need to choose. You must take your responsibility, your ability to respond to what happens to you, because nothing happens to you. You co-create what happens together with life. That's how it goes. You're a part of this whole thing. You chose this. You were a chooser. You're not a loser. You're a chooser. Okay, so victim mindset comes up with excuses. Look at your patterns. Look at your behavior patterns. Do you find yourself making all the excuses but never making the decision? Do you find yourself creating all kinds of stories why you are always right and you're never wrong? If you're, if you're always right, if you're never wrong, there you are, the victimhood. There you are, the victim of everything and anything around you. I don't want you to stay victim. I want you to win. I want you to rise above to your freedom mindset. Victim mindset is going to make you feel helpless, not good enough. I don't know what to do. I don't know where to begin. I am not good enough. I don't have the resources. I don't have the time. I don't have the money. Guess what? I come from the other part of the world. Okay, I am Turkish originally. And today, after 12 years in Los Angeles, I have been living in this gorgeous city of Miami, having created my own life on my own terms, living happily and sharing what's in my heart with the people that I want to work with. And it just feeds my soul. I am happy. My friends, when they first meet me, they can't understand this. Actually, one of them said the other day on my birthday, she was like, I just couldn't understand how one person could be so happy. So I thought you were not authentic. But then I realized that it was actually you and then you were absolutely happy. So I realized that I have this incredible gratitude because I took responsibility of my life. I am free. I have the freedom. You guys, it took me years, okay? It's going to cost. It's going to come with challenges. And still, it is possible. I am a living example of this. I invested in my mindset, hence the wall of fame that you see behind me. I invested in my growth. I invested. I took responsibility. I said, this is my life. I'm going to make it the way I want it. That's why I left my corporate job in Istanbul. And then I just like literally jumped into the ocean of uncertainty. And this is where most of you get stuck. I know you get stuck because you are addicted to certainty. You want to make sure that, oh, I have a job, you know, I need to make money. Well, there are other ways to make money. There are other ways to build a life. Okay. That's the old paradigm. It doesn't have to stay. I mean, if you're happy at your work, go ahead. I was, I was not. Okay, some culture, some workplace cultures are delicious. They just thrive and they empower you to become who you're meant to be. If that's your case, stay in there, enjoy. If not, stop complaining, stop being the victim, stop losing, and start choosing. All right, now we're going to talk about freedom through choice. Well, obviously now I hope it makes sense why I am using the equation freedom equals your ability to respond, because it really is your freedom. And again, I'm going to say it again, freedom is that galactic space between what happens and then how you respond to it. What happens? And how you respond to it. And in the way that I teach my training programs, my Neuroshine Technology coaching education programs and ICF credentialing programs, I always talk about choices. And I always talk about ability to respond because it all comes down to that. It all comes down to your momentarily decision-making power. Every single moment you are going to need to make a decision. And then how good are you with your decision-making skills? You know, in that moment of decision-making, if you have the skills in your brain, if you were able to rewire your brain with the necessary skills to come together in that sacred geometry and put the self-awareness and self-regulation and critical thinking and understanding that you might be wrong, understanding that there needs to be some analysis and then not reaction but response, not reacting but responding, and so many other skills like leadership skills, communication tools, and mindset principles. You need to drop to the heart and you need to understand that emotions are actually nothing but GPS and that you are here to follow a certain path, your karma, your dharma. And at the end of the day, in that moment, in that decision-making moment, if all those skills, all those parts of you come together in harmony and when you are able to integrate the power of your mind with the wisdom of your heart, then you're going to have a nourishine moment of truth that I talk about. That nourishine moment of truth is going to go so deep into who you are as part of your being, your identity as a whole. It's just going to uplift you, and then your heart is going to start pumping freedom. So there you have it. We talked a lot about freedom and why your freedom is your ability to respond to life and then why you have the power to design a life that is absolutely in alignment with your truth and alignment with your values, vision, goals, and desires. This is your life. Game. And in that game of life, you have the power to choose. You have the power to create. You're a creator, you're a chooser. Those are your takeaways. I hope you loved this video. If you did, please put a like on it, please subscribe and share this video. Let's awaken everybody to the fact that we are 100% responsible for our happiness, for the quality of life that we get to live. We are choosers. We are creators. Let's just wake up. Let's elevate the consciousness of our humanity, shall we? Because as you know, we have the power, you and I, to make this world a better place with more love and shiny lights. My dear shiny mind, thank you for allowing me to share my light with you, with your neurons. And until next time, keep shining your light.