Dr. Shiny Unsal AI explains how phrasing statements as questions reduces defensive reactions by calming the brain's threat response. Asking "What are you tolerating?" instead of telling someone "You are tolerating a lot" signals care, builds respect, and opens space for growth.
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It combines the power of the mind with the wisdom of your heart, and it just helps you to unlock your potential. Put your hands together for Jamie Nicholls! Hey everyone, welcome to my Shiny Minds Show. My name is Shiny Unsal AI, I am the creator of Neuroshine Technology. And in this episode of Shiny Minds, I would love to talk to you about question marks and their magic on human minds. Why am I talking about magic? Because as an expert in communication, the problem I see in the world is the lack of question marks. We tend to speak a lot with periods at the end of sentences But there is magic going on when you practice communicating with question marks. We are going to discuss two different sentences. One of them is going to have a period in the end, and the other one is going to have a question mark. Here is the example. Let's say that you are having a conversation with a friend of yours, a very close friend of yours, and that friend is sharing some problems with her relationship, right? And then at the end of the problem sharing, you find yourself telling her you are tolerating a lot in this relationship. And then all of a sudden you see her throwing tantrums at you. You see her going nuts, going crazy, going defensive. And then she's even telling you, no, I am not. I am not tolerating. This is 'Normal, it comes with any type of relationship and it is okay. I am accepting it. Why do you tell me that I am tolerating? Why are you telling me what to do?' So all of a sudden you realize there is something wrong you did and then you don't understand what you did. You just shared your opinion, right? I get you and I invite you to consider the second option. The second option is to put a question mark in the end and ask your friend What are you tolerating in this relationship? Even better, are you tolerating anything in this relationship or are you cool with it? So when it becomes the question mark, then the person now has an option and the person feels safe and then there is room for growth. So those are the very important elements when when you are communicating. Number 1 is safety. If you are not asking a question, if you are direct in your language, if you tell people your opinion directly, if you give them ideas, if you tell them what to do, it is very normal that you are going to find yourself in situations that is going to be awkward. Maybe you're going to feel like, oh, I didn't mean to hurt you. I didn't mean to tell you anything wrong. I just think, 'Like that, it's just my opinion,' and you are going to find yourself trying to explain yourself and this person is already off. The reason is because they don't feel safe. The safety regulations are being managed by this part of the brain called amygdala. Amygdala is kind of like a soldier, okay? Think of amygdala as the soldier of your whole system, not only when you communicate but also for your survival, your your beliefs and values, everything that goes on that requires your system, your nervous system, your immune system, everything can be managed by amygdala. And amygdala is looking for dangers 6 times a second. When you come off, just you're thinking that you're just sharing your opinion, but your opinion is kind of like too direct, it might feel like an attack to the amygdala. And that way it's a threat. And when it's a threat, amygdala just going to do what? Defense, right? Either defend or attack. So whatever you are doing in your communication, if you are not practicing question marks, you are going to end up violating safety. And for that reason, please remember, question marks are important to create safety in your communication. The second reason why you might want to communicate with question marks in your communication is because you are going to create respect for the other person. And you might be wondering how? Here is the explanation. When you're being asked, when someone asks you, how do you do this? How do you do that? How would you like to proceed with that? Is that important for you? Why is that important for you? How would you choose to behave in this situation? Now you feel like, hmm, it's all about my opinions, it's all about my ideas. I guess I just can be free and I can just like share what's in my mind, what's in my heart. All of a sudden you feel you're respected, you feel this person cares for you. They keep asking questions, so obviously they care for you. And the care creates the respect feeling. And number 3, why you need to be communicating with question marks is because it's an opportunity for growth. What do I mean by that? Well, as you know, as part of my Neuroshine technology, Neuroshine moments are aha moments that are helping us to learn something new. And every time we learn something new, These neurons in the brain, they are creating new neural pathways, which means they are updating the brain. Because the brain is an organ that belongs to the past, and if you want to create something new, if you want to upgrade that system, then you need new learnings. Then you need new neuroshine moments. And for that reason, when you ask questions, not only you're creating safety and respect for the other person, but you're also creating an environment for them to grow by tapping into what's important for them, what is their truth, and with that, they're going to create new neuroshine moments, new neural pathways, and they're going to expand their thinking, upgrade their brain, and you will be the one who is helping them to improve their awareness. Awareness multiplied by willingness is always going to create some sort of change and growth. If you are the one helping them, you're making your difference. These are the 3 reasons why you need to communicate with question marks instead of periods at the end of sentences. Because I just want to remind you, you and your loved ones, we are all one neuroshine moment away from becoming who we truly are. And you have the power and any skills to create the life that you want. I just want to remind you this: life is a beautiful game that you can play on your own terms successfully, and it's your time to become who you're meant to be. Do you know why? Because we can create a better world with more love and shiny lights. If you liked this video, please share with your friends. You might be helping someone who really needs to hear this. And subscribe to my channel to become more and achieve more.
