Dr. Shiny Unsal shares five practices to become your own best friend: stop self-criticism, replace self-pity with finding the positive angle, ask yourself powerful open-ended questions to reframe inner criticism, spend intentional time alone doing things you enjoy, and show self-love through cooking, creativity, and nurturing relationships.
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Hello everyone, my name is Shiny Unsal. I am the proud creator of Neuroshine technology and the Shiny Minds show and your Neuroshine coach. Ready to shine?
Come on, it's the shiny one! You got this if you wanna go collect.
Today we're gonna talk about you and how you can become your own best friend. I have 5 ideas for you to become your best friend. Number 1, this is the most important one. Stop criticizing yourself. Seriously, if you are doing this, enough already. Let's put it in a context. Let's say you have your best friend right next to you, okay? And you're having a conversation and the only thing your best friend does is criticizing you, criticizing you, criticizing you, criticizing you, criticizing you, just like giving you a hard time. How would you feel? If you are somebody who loves criticizing, become aware of that and please stop it. It's important for you to allow yourself to make mistakes and to learn from them. It's important for you to accept that you are a work in progress. Number 2, stop feeling sorry for yourself. Again, imagine, picture this with me. Your best friend is sitting right next to you and you want to open your heart. You want to share something that is bothering you. And the only thing you hear from your best friend is, oh, I'm so sorry for you. Oh, it's horrible. Oh, poor you. Do you get it? So it's okay if you want to give yourself some compassion, but there is a fine line between compassion and pity. You get that? So if you run into that kind of self-talk upstairs, stop it. Okay? Stop it already. And so that you can remember that it's a choice. You know, you don't need to be weak and hopeless and helpless. It's just a natural way to go through a problem, to go through a phase of life. So instead of feeling sorry for yourself, turn it around and ask yourself, what's great about this? Speaking of which, now we're gonna talk about questions. Number 3, start asking powerful questions to yourself. Powerful questions are A, open-ended, B, deep and creative, and C, they actually take you to a place you haven't thought about before. And powerful questions, they are meant to be non-judgmental, non-advising, non-approving. It's just none of anything. That's why they're powerful. They're just like, here's a question, do whatever you want with it. Okay? So if you train your brain to formulate those powerful questions, it's going to be easier to become your best friend. Because think about your best friend. Who would be an ideal best friend? A person who is there for you, who holds the space space for you, who doesn't judge you, who doesn't criticize you, who doesn't try to fix your problems, right? A person who gets you, a person who supports you, kind of like confronts you when there is a blind spot that you may not see, tells you the truth and still leaves it to you. That's your own decision. It's up to you. Does not try to control you, make decisions on behalf of you, right? And in order for you to be able to do all of these things to yourself as your best friend, you really need to train your brain about powerful questions. You need to learn how to transform those inner self-critic, those voices that are like so negative, and turn them into this powerful transformational questions that are enlightening and in my language, neuron shining. Okay, so in my Neuroshine technology, I do have this expression, it's called Neuroshine moment. And when you go to my channel, you're gonna find specific videos about that. A Neuroshine moment is a moment of truth when you realize the truth about yourself. It just lights up your brain. Right? That's why it's Neuroshine. So your neurons are like lit up, they're shining bright. So that's the whole idea. If you give yourself a ton of Neuroshine moments, guess what? You are on your way to become your best friend. Number 4, start spending more time with yourself. When was the last time you took yourself out for a dinner? Just you. And you. I mean, you can be romantic with yourself, you can give yourself some love, some credit. Hey, Shiny, you've been doing great lately. I just wanted to celebrate you. I wanted to take you out. So let's talk about your success. I know you might be laughing right now as you are watching this, but guess what? This has to be your internal reality. That is how you're going to be your best friend. Best friends, they support each other. They celebrate each other. They take each other out for dinner. Okay, so do that. Spend more time. If you, if you love going to a massage, do that. If you love going to a spa, do that. If you love taking a walk in the nature, do that. Go to the beach, do that. Roller skating, do that. Biking, do that. Do whatever. That makes your heart sing. And here comes my last idea. I mean, I have more ideas just in this video. Maximize your love for yourself. Maximize it. I know it's a very hot topic. I know it's a hot button. Everybody is talking about self-love. And guess what? We can still do more. You can— that's why I'm using the word maximize it. Here is how it can look like. Maximizing your self-love might look like taking the time to cook for yourself because you know what foods are good for your beautiful body. You know how you feel after eating that, so do that. Maybe you also love being creative. Take the time and create something. That makes you feel so alive. Or it can also look like just sitting down and thinking. If you love that, that's maximizing your self-love. Or maybe you want to connect with others. Maybe you want to connect with your mom, your dad, your siblings, your friends, your relatives. Your mentors, your coaches. I hope you have them. Whatever that means, connecting with people, they are absolutely going to bring more love to you, and that is going to also become self-love for you. So I hope this video helped you. I hope you liked my ideas. If you did, please like it and share it with your friends, and also subscribe to my channel so that you can love yourself even more with my content in neurolinguistic programming, coaching, emotional intelligence, leadership, self-love, self-confidence, and even more. And also remember, it's important that you love yourself even more and you give yourself more neuroshine moments because that's exactly what we need to make this world a better place. More love and shiny minds.
Your bright space. Absolutely. Cuz she knows your heart, awareness, and she definitely knows your— and today say yes, she'll give you her love, my love, and give you her time. Cuz she's the shiny one, shiny one, shiny one. You know, she's lots of Fun, lots of fun, lots of fun. Make it fun, 'cause it's the shiny one, shiny one, shiny one. Change with fun, and you have lots of fun, lots of fun, lots of fun.
