Dr. Shiny Unsal explains OPOs (Other People's Opinions): beliefs we inherit from upbringing and society that show up as inner criticism, shame, and self-doubt. She offers a formula to break free: awareness times willingness equals change, using Viktor Frankl's idea that there's space between what happens and how you respond.
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Let's talk about what is an OPR. It combines the power of the mind with the wisdom of your heart, and it just helps you to unlock your potential. Put your hands together for Jamie Nicholls! Hey everyone, welcome to my Shiny Minds Show. My name is Shiny Unsal. I am the proud creator of Neuroshine Technology and your Neuroshine Coach. Today our topic is: What is an OPO? OPO stands for Other People's Opinions, as you see right here, OPO. What does that mean? According to neuroscience, 95% of what you do, what you say, what you live your life is pre-programmed from your upbringing, from the society. So not every belief that you have is yours. Not every thought that you think is yours. It is most likely that you have been consuming all of these opinions, all of these should-haves and could-haves and would-haves from the society that you have created this internal system where you think that those are your beliefs. You think that those are your thoughts. You know, you have those inner voices you hear during the day. They speak to you. They tell you stuff. I'm talking about those. Most of the time, they're not yours. They're other people's opinions. It's so important to clarify what is yours and what is not so that you can just say goodbye to whatever does not belong to you so you can live your own truth. And here is how to spot the OPOs. I'm going to give you 3 signs, 3 signs of an OPO. Number 1 is that inner voice that you hear, which criticizes you, judges you, and makes you feel like you are wrong. Whatever you do, it's not enough. Whatever you do, it's always wrong. I'm sure you can relate to what I'm talking about. Sometimes you are in the middle of a conversation and this thought, just like if you put it on slow motion, it's coming to you and it's telling you, No, you shouldn't have said that. You are wrong. You know what I'm saying? That is an OPO. They come and interrupt your thought process. They interrupt your inner peace because there is constant judgment. There's constant critique. And you start worrying about what else is wrong. What else, you're going to say something that you're going to regret later on. And guess what? Those are OPOs. Watch out and ask yourself this simple question: is it really mine? Do I really own it or is it an OPO? Number 2, shame. You know how sometimes you do something and then immediately like you are so embarrassed? You feel guilty about it and then you have this shame inside of you. That's what I'm talking about. That's another OPO because we are pre-programmed to people-please, if you know what I'm saying. If you are pre-programmed to please others, if you are pre-programmed to go along and agree with what other people say, then you're going to find yourself automatically forced to agree with someone else. And if they don't agree with you, you're going to end up feeling shameful. You're going to end up feeling embarrassed. Why? Because they don't approve, and you start seeking for that approval. That's a very wrong place to be. And for you to watch out, ask yourself that simple question again. Is it really mine? Do I really believe in this? Or am I seeking approval? Am I trying to please someone? Okay. Number 3, conflict. Conflict is where you have two parts now. You have two voices internally. One of them says, I want to do this. The other one says, no, I want to do this. And they are in conflict and they actually represent two opposite parts of you. You end up feeling, ah, I so want to say this, but I know I'm going to hurt this person, so I won't. I need to speak up. It's my courage. It's my dignity. Yeah, but you're going to lose that relationship. Don't do it. You know what I'm saying? You will end up having these inner conflicts if you are pre-programmed and if you don't become aware of the OPOs that you have. The problem that I can tell you, if you cannot watch out for the inner judgment, the inner shame, and the inner conflict, you may end up having depression. Anxiety, worry, doubt, and not loving yourself. That's a very wrong place to be, and that's a dark mind. As you know, the name of this show is called The Shiny Mind. It's supposed to be the opposite. And as I coach people, as I go do my trainings, I see people suffer from this OPO so much. I have worked with hundreds and thousands of people from like 25 countries so far, and they all suffer from the same thing because they all have that. We all have that. You have it from your upbringing. If you never questioned what your mom told you, what your dad told you, what your society told you, if you never questioned, then it's normal because it's an unconscious process. That's how the brain works. So then you might be thinking, all right, so what am I going to do about it, right? So let's talk about a solution. I am going to give you a solution you may have already heard from me. You know that I have the simple formula for change from my Neuroshine technology, which is change equals awareness multiplied by your willingness. So the first step is to become aware of these inner voices that are giving you this anxiety. When you become aware, now you have a choice and your willingness. Viktor Frankl, a European neurologist, back in the 1950s, he survived the Holocaust and he was at the Nazi camp and he wrote this book called Man's Search for Meaning. When he was observing himself and when he wrote this book, he came up with this incredible quote that I want to share with you to make you more aware. Between stimulus and response, which means between your awareness and your willingness, there is a space. In that space, you have your power to choose a response. And in that response, you have your opportunity to grow and to be free. So please become aware, watch out for those inner voices, ask those questions: Is it mine? Do I want to own it? Do I believe it? And if you don't, get rid of them. Be willing to do whatever it takes to get rid of them. Keep doing this process over and over again so that you can rewire your brain with who you truly are. Okay? So here is my question to you. What do you think about OPOs? Maybe now you know about the concept, you can share a comment below and we can start a conversation altogether. And also, please, can you share this video with others so that you can actually make a difference for somebody else. And please subscribe to my channel to become more and achieve more.
