Stephen Curry asks Barack Obama how Michelle shaped his presidency and personal life. Obama recalls her whispering "don't screw it up" before his 2004 convention speech and enforcing a 6:30 p.m. dinner rule. Her emotional perspective pushed him to tell stories instead of reciting policy, making him a more compassionate leader.
Chapters
I know everybody sees, you know, the polished product when you come out and give your speeches or when, you know, you have that stature about you. I always have this kind of imagination right before you come out, like you and Michelle just had some real serious conversations. She gave you some good wisdom right before you turn the corner, 'cause that's my experience with Ayesha. That's what I know. She keeps it real and always kind of— Thank you. There's a little gem of some kind of, uh, you know, idea that I, I wasn't even thinking about. I'm like, you know what, you're right, you're right. I gotta implement that into what I'm doing. Can you, can you kind of maybe give us an example of maybe a hard decision that Michelle was, uh, you know, instrumental in helping you, um, you know, land it in, in the right spot, or somewhere that she influenced, uh, the way that you presented yourself?
You know, I think, I mean, we've been married almost 30 years now. And so she's so woven up in me and, you know, like I don't even know, well, you know, did I used to be like that?
Right.
Has she just been training me all this time? So now I'm this way. It's interesting though. A lot of times with Michelle, in really stressful moments, the thing that she's really good at is actually making me laugh. Like, I write about how right before the Democratic National Convention speech in 2004, which, you know, I'm doing the math real quickly, but I guess you were what, in 8th grade or something. I'm not dead. So you don't remember this, but this was my first big national speech. It was really kind of the coming out party nationally, so it was a big deal. And it was sort of a surprise that I had been selected. I wasn't even in the Senate yet. I was still in the state legislature. It was very rare for somebody like me to get this, you know, millions of viewers. And so I had written this speech and I knew it was good, but, you know, I'm feeling a little bit like, man, you know, I wonder how this is going to go.
Right.
So, you know, she comes up, you know, I'm about to be announced, you know, and she comes up to me and she looks at me, she squeezes my hand, and, you know, she leans over real close, and she says, "Honey, don't screw it up." And I start cracking up, right? And that was perfect. That's what I needed.
Right.
You know, if she had said, "Oh honey, I'm so proud of you," I would have been, I would have still been a wreck, but when she said it like that, you know, then— Got you out your own way. And that was exactly what was needed. So, um, look, she's been such a powerful partner for me in so many ways.
Mm-hmm.
The most important things she's done that helped me become a better president was reminding me of my other responsibilities. Because, you know, her insisting that I was going to be home for dinner at 6:30. You know, her attitude was, look, you know, we're starting dinner because I'm not going to have these girls waiting for you and wondering, is Daddy— dinner's served at 6:30. I would advise you to be home at 6:30.
Mm-hmm.
And so I just set up my schedule so that no matter how busy I was, unless there was a genuine emergency, I was home at 6:30, had dinner, you know, read to the girls, helped them with their homework. And then if I had to go back to the office to do the work, you know, obviously I had the advantage I was living above the store so I didn't have to commute. But, you know, her anchoring me in that way, that actually made me a better president because it reminded me, all right, this is what families around the country are looking for.
Right, right.
How can they spend time with their families? How can they their kids live a good life. And so it, you know, was a continuous sense of focusing on what's important. And that made me, I think, a more compassionate, more effective President. And the other thing that I think she did, you know, she teases me because I'm more the— she calls me the fact guy, you know, that like I always got facts in my head.
Oh, I'm trying to solve everything.
Yeah, and I'm constantly, you know, reading stuff and analyzing, and I got data, and I'm— and, you know, she understands the world more emotionally.
Uh-huh.
And I think that there were times during my presidency where I had gotten the policy right. I had figured out, all right, this is how we're going to get healthcare done, or, you know, this is what we need to do to, you know, deal with climate change, or— but I was communicating to the public in such a kind of dry way that it— people were— they just couldn't connect.
Mm-hmm.
And it was interesting during the campaign, I was telling stories and connecting with people, but once I, you know, I'm in the White House, all right, now I got to be serious all the time, and, you know, I've got to have these formal press conferences, and I've got to and give all these statistics. And she was always good about saying, hey man, you know, why don't you tell a story that people can relate to? Why don't you, instead of having a formal press conference, why don't you do something fun that people might actually want to watch, right? You know—
Did she tell you to come on this IG?
Absolutely. You know, but that kind of, you know, when I talk to younger people now, you know, a lot of my staff, they're coming to the age where they're starting to get married, have kids, et cetera, and/or they're thinking about it. They've been with somebody for a while. They're wondering, should they take the plunge? And what I always, you know, what I say to them is, look, Nothing's better than having a partner who is complementary to you, right?
Yeah.
That sees things you don't, that has you covered on some blind spots, that can teach you something. Now that means that, you know, there's probably going to be a little more friction, because if they're strong-minded and they've got opinions, they're not always going to mesh. And I describe in the book the fact that, you know, Michelle and I are temperamentally different. She's got a strong personality, so do I. You know, there are times where we're button heads, but I am better because I've got someone who has strengths that I don't have, that sees things I don't see. And I would like to think that she feels the same way. Mm-hmm. And that, I think, has been one of the foundation stones of our relationship. [FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
