NextHome Sits Down with John O'Leary

We have bestselling author, keynote speaker, inspirational leader, John. I could go on forever. We have John o' Leary with us. John, thank you for taking the time out of your day to spend time with us. We appreciate you.

Well, hello Imran, hello next time. Hello friends, and Happy April Schools Day. Happy Spring. With all the headlines that everything reports how negative the world is. And sometimes though, if you open up your eyes and look out the window, it's even better than it feels, you know. So, like, I'm looking forward to sharing with you a message today of hope, of perspective, of opportunity, and of reason to believe that the best days remain in front of us.

Love it. Now, for those of you that are using GoToWebinar for the first time or GoToMeeting for the first time, do me a big favor. What I'm looking for, I like to check a test. Can you hear us? Can you see us? Fine. So do this if your name starts with an A. Okay, you guys are, see this is some of you read ahead. You guys are the ones that turn to the back of the book to look and see what's going on. I'd like if your name starts with an A, just to put in a little chat box. Yes, I can hear you. Or you guys are looking great. Or John, what's that behind you? Any of that kind of stuff. So I love it. All my A names are doing it perfect. John, we appreciate it. Thank you everybody. And then that question box, that same one that you just tested in, we're going to go ahead and take any questions you want at any time. John, you have a very open policy with your questions. Because of hesitations in the past, can you kind of let them know about your openness for your questioning?

Yeah, just I'm an open book and so whether your question is around what I went through as a kid, what I deal with as a man, what I deal with as a business owner, as a spouse, as a son to a guy, Parkinson's disease and some struggles over there, views on society, anything at all that is on your mind, anything if it's relevant to you, it's certainly relevant to me. And I think what is most intimate and most personal is also most universal. So the more you're like, I don't know if I should ask him this, like, that's the one. So as we progress forward, please don't hesitate asking anything that matters to you because it really does matter to me as well.

It's on your team and I'll facilitate the questions to you. John. So you won't worry about that. But I also will provide anonymity. So if you ask a question, don't worry about me calling you out by name. So that's an important part, too. John, before we get started, where are you physically at right now?

Yes. So I'm in an office. We have a studio that is about a mile away from my home. I live in St. Louis, Missouri, and I'm blessed to not only live here, but to be able to drive from. From my house to this office. No one else works here, so total isolation at this point. I have a great team that normally works here. I have a great family that does live back at home. Everybody's healthy currently, and we are aware that there are some real challenges in the marketplace and in our lives. But there's also reason for hope. So that's where I'm taking this call from today.

Three years ago almost to the week, John spoke at our conference in New Orleans. And it was the first time that I met John in person. Now I became familiar with John's work through referrals, just like we operate as realtors. And they were. I was saying, who is the very best speaker that I can get that I don't know about? Tell me the very. The secret person that I don't know about. And they said, do you know who John o' Leary is? I said, I have no clue. I looked up the story, I read the. I ordered the book, and fast forward. About five months later, he spoke on our main stage and has made an impact on my life. Many of the people that were in the crowd at that time, I reached out to John a couple of days ago, actually a week and change ago. And I said, john, right now the world needs some inspiration. They need some light. And John said, I'm in. Actually, that was the text that said I'm in. That's all it said. And your willingness to be here today was awesome. So, John, I'm going to start off and let you kind of give the background of where you came from and your life growing up. And just to let you know, both of us talked about this before going on the webinar. There is a graphic image that's going to be coming a little bit later. We'll warn you before it happens. It's of John when he was young. And we will warn you. So if you have the need to look away or you need some time away from that photo, we'll let you know ahead of time. Okay, so John, go ahead and start off. Tell us a little bit about yourself.

And I recognize many of you have heard me speak in the past, so I'll try not to bore you twice. I think we took care of that once already. But I do want to give you a little bit of the information around me. At age nine, I was a curious little nine year old guy. I saw boys in my neighborhood playing with fire and gasoline. And what these kids would do is they would take a piece of cardboard, set it over there, they'd splash a little bit of gasoline on the sidewalk, they'd step away, light the cardboard on fire, throw it on top of the puddle, and they would just dance to life. And as a kid, I remember thinking, if these big guys can do that and get away with it, so can I. And I think in life we've got to be very careful whose lead we are following because it is going to influence where we go next and how our life proceeds thereafter. And I just had the wrong example in front of me that weekend. So with my mom and dad gone, and you see the picture in front of you, I walked over to a can of gasoline, it was five gallons, tried to pour a little bit of gas on top, try to create a little bit of a spark. And what happened instead was a mighty explosion. It split the can in two, it picked me up and it launched me class 20ft against the far side of the garage. When we were little, whether that, you know, seven, eight, nine years old, when we were little, we were taught and trained what to do when we're on fire.

Stop, drop, drop and roll, Right?

But what do you actually do when you're on fire?

Run around with your arms probably waving like this?

Right, correct, right. I panicked and I ran and it changed my life. And so. And as you know, man, this would take a little boy down a path of changing his life so profoundly, so directly, so dramatically forever. And the next picture is going to be really hard to look at. But one moment, I was a happy, healthy, normal little guy. Life was in front of me, my family was around me, opportunity ahead of me. This probably sounds like all of us right now. And then life happens, right? Life happens not only to me, but to every one of us realtors, every one of us business owners, every one of us servants, sons and daughters in the marketplace. It happens. And then what? So this next picture you are about to see will be very, very hard to look at. You may want to shut your eyes or turn away.

3, 2, 1.

On my back in some burn center with burns.

I apologize, John.

Good looking guy.

Yeah, that's one worth looking at. I'm sorry, I'm going to go ahead and tab it right now. Here we go.

And this is what happened the moment after the explosion. That picture was taken the morning I was brought into hospital as a nine year old boy with burns on 100% of my body. 87% of the burns were third degree. It is a death sentence. And Emory, you can go to the next picture just so folks don't have to look longer than they have to at that. But here's what I want you to know. Realtors and I realize there's some vendors and friends who have been brought into the room as well. And I realize none of us are our jobs. None of us are defined by a career necessarily. We're so much more than that. Your people, your sons, your daughters, your family, your neighbors, your spouses and partners, all these great jobs. Life can change so dramatically and frequently. People will forecast what will come into your life next. And right now, if you're reading any of the headlines, all the forecasting is negative. All of it. Part of it is accurately. It's going to be difficult before it gets better, no doubt about it. But here's what I want you to know about my life. When you get burned in 2020 on 100% of your body, here's the math that they would run on April 1, 2020, they take the percentage of your body burned. So do the math at home, 100%. They add your age, nine, and now they just come up with mortality. So on April 1, 2020, the likelihood of that same little boy who came into the ER today surviving would be 109% likelihood of death. There's no reason for hope. And then light shows up, and then love shows up, and then a little bit of faith shows up, and then a little bit of grit shows up. And then family shows up, and then community shows up, and then doctors and nurses show up. And the majority of our lives, I think we ignore the work they do. The cool thing about COVID 19, if you're looking for some positive, here's one piece for you. For the first time in a long time, we celebrate. And in Europe, they're already doing this. We'll start doing it here in the United States very shortly. They start providing standing ovations to the doctors, the nurses, the custodians, the transporters, as they leave the safety of their home and they go off to work, recognizing finally the profound beauty of the work they do. These ladies and gentlemen, these great people do valuable work and they save lives every day and they save my life. We need community. I think during good days we think we can do life by ourselves. But the beauty of diversity is it reminds us you can't. But together, together, that's awesome. Together we can endure, we can survive. And in time we can thrive. And so that's part of the good news that is in front of all of us today. This won't be easy. The headwind is strong. There is reason for anxiety. Our careers have changed. For a season, our 401ks have dropped dramatically.

No doubt.

But let me about the 401ks, because then when I heard you laugh in since 1941, the S&P has dropped by more than 20% 12 times. This is now the 12th time and in the previous 11, within six months it has returned 26%. So it's dropped by a grand total of about 30%. When you add up all the numbers, it's returned within six months, 26%. Which means if you could just fall asleep and wake up six months later, you would wake up and barely notice the change. And so sometimes we get so focused on the adversity of the day that we miss the long term horizon of where we are going together. And so I just beg you guys, and beg you ladies and beg you leaders to have a long term perspective not only on where you've been and where you are, but here's the cool thing on where you're going next. It doesn't end like this. We've been through storms. This is unprecedented, this is difficult. But we weathered storms in the past and we've actually come through them stronger together. And I believe that's going to happen again this time.

You know, John, I'm sitting here and I have my notepad ready to go, but the part that many of you don't know about this, this webinar, this podcast, because I may scrape this and use this for audio depending on how, how it goes, but it sounds that way. John and I talked yesterday over the phone and it's, he's like just, let's just be two friends talking. And, and that was important. We have a kind of a structure of which way we want to go, but we're just going to go to free flowing conversation. John, bring us to today. Just bring us kind of the. I know that you wanted to focus on them today, but I think closing that loop of the story would help to bring you where you are today. Can you fill us in a little bit? Because one of the most emotional parts of your story is Your parents and how they showed up for you and they asked you a question, and it was the determining factor of whether or not that little boy was going to survive or not mentally, let alone physically.

Well, I'm glad you asked. And as I share the story, I just hope you listeners and viewers are thinking about a little boy, thinking about the guy sharing it. But really, you're just making it your story. You're in April. It's a hard year. The market has turned negatively, headwinds blowing, fear is spreading. Panic is an epidemic. It's everywhere. And so how do we pivot forward into possibility? And I experienced that as a little boy, Emory, as I was laying in the hospital bed, I remember feeling great dread not only as I looked at my hands and my body, and everything was changed dramatically forever. Like my life would never return to how it was before, but what I was most concerned about was actually my future and how people would respond and specifically how my mom and dad would respond to me blowing up their house. I was less worried, actually about me than about their reaction to what I did. And my dad came in first, and the first thing he said to me was John. He actually called me little Monkey John, you little monkey. I love you. I love you. I just was blown away by that grace and that love. And then right after my dad was ushered out, my mother came in. She took my right hand. For those of you who can see it, I'm missing fingers right now on my hand, and I'm missing them on my left hand. That my hands back then were just completely burned up. And this brave, courageous woman takes my hand in hers. She pats my bald head. This is her little guy. That picture you showed a moment ago of that horrible image. Well, for her, that's not a slideshow in 2020. For her, that's her baby. That's her pride and joy. She's got six kids, but that's her favorite one. Ok, so that's the setup here. She takes my hand, she pats my head, and she says, baby, I love you. And I look up at my mom and I say, mama, am I going to die? And rather than providing false hope of saying, hey, guys, the market's going to come back tomorrow. You're going to have a phenomenal open house weekend coming up. This coming. She didn't lie to me. She gave me truth. Here's what she said to me. Baby, look at me. Do you want to die? And I said, mama, I don't want to die. I want to live. And her response was, Good, then take the hand of God. You walk the journey with God and you fight like you have never fought before, John. This thing will become a street fight. You won't be by yourself. Your father and I will be with you. But you got to choose the next step. You got to own this thing, John. And on January 17, 1987, you know, 33 years ago, a little boy with no chance decided to fight forward with a little bit of grit, a little bit of courage, a little bit of faith, knowing that tomorrow is going to be somehow even better than today. And I think that same audacity of hope needs to be something we all step into April with. Because April is going to be worse in almost everybody's forecast in March, far worse. As a nation, as a realtor, as a business owner, as a spouse, as a single person. April is going to be hard. Really hard, really painful, really difficult. And May is not going to be much better. But I'm telling you right now, behind that darkness exists light. And the best remains in front of us. So let the experiences from yesterday remind you of what is possible tomorrow.

John, you didn't start off as a little boy recovering, say, you know, I'm going to be an inspirational speaker one day or I'm going to be a best selling author. The journey that got you to there, to where you were able to uncover and allow yourself to be vulnerable. I've been able to take that journey too with my cancer and what I was able to go through. You knew that. We've talked about it many times and I think that vulnerability really allows other people. I just got a message right now. It says, this is a wow. I too caught myself on fire as a five year old and I also ran. I was very lucky. My mother grabbed me and pounded out the flames with her hands. This image that John shared is still very clear in my brain. That's something that just came through. So sometimes we as leaders speak on behalf of others that are going through a similar situation or have gone through it and don't even know what to say. You came in and you started working in the inspirational world. How did that come about? And why were you okay with the vulnerability of it?

So what is most personal is most universal. That's a quote actually from a guy named Henry Nouwen. And he's a great theologian. But what I love about him most is he just speaks about life and primarily about how broken and bad and damaged and dumb he is. And as he's writing about how broken he is and you almost feel Bad for Henry. You also find yourself flipping the pages to see what he's going to say next because he's speaking about himself and you. And so I always liked people who are bold enough about their own mistakes to be honest and call them out publicly. So that's where I kind of grew. And that desire to be like that someday. As far as speaking, though, I never imagined speaking. Never imagined. I never told anybody in grade school, middle school, or high school how I was burned. Never told my college fraternity brothers. Never told a little girl I was dating named Elizabeth Grace, who I would end up marrying. Not first, at least. What eventually changed in my life was when my mother wrote a book with my picture on the front of it. And it was just called Overwhelming Odds. Overwhelming Odds. I read this book. They printed 100 copies. That's it. And I read it, and it changed my life. I realized that this horrible tragedy was, in fact, a gift. That these scars and these amputations and this brokenness that I deal with every day was redeemed. Like, I'm okay. And not only am I okay, I'm actually better because of what I went through. And I never once paused long enough to recognize maybe this thing could be used for good. So I'm thinking through this as a young man. I'm 27 years old at the time, and I get a phone call from a girl who's a little Girl Scout. And she says, Mr. O', Leary, would you speak at my troop? I just said, like I did with you the other day when you said, hey, John, will you do this? I'm like, I'm in. I'm in. So I told her, hey, I'm in. What do you need? Where is this? So I drive my pickup truck out to this little girl's school. She's a third grader. There are three third grade Girl Scouts in a room eating their carrots and their after school snacks. I speak in front of them for 11 minutes. They do not even pay me with a box of Samoas. So that's my first transaction. Realtors, not even a 2% commission. Man, I get nothing.

I was gonna say, pay John in Girl Scout cookies and they'll show up.

They do. They chose to pay me in nothing other than a gentle applause at the end. But one of their fathers was a Rotarian, a volunteer, and he asked me into his club. And then one of those guys was in Kiwanis. So in year one, I spoke three times for nothing. In year two, I spoke eight times for, like, $100 gas card.

Okay.

To BP. And in the 15 years that have followed, I've had the honor of speaking in 50 states, in 19 countries in front of several million people, making a difference, making a living, making a lot of money. But not because I was chasing dollars. I think the dollars flow from the purpose of pursuing something bigger than yourself and serving the one in front of you. And I think we as realtors, we as human beings, as we strive to be a difference maker for those around us, eventually the money's going to flow. Whether you're running a lemonade stand or you're running a huge realty company, the money is going to follow suit. But my business has always been built on just loving people, loving the one in front of you. And then the cool thing you mentioned earlier, John, I learned about John's referral. Our business, a couple thousand clients in right now, is 100% referral fed. That's how we get every single lead. And so we just love the one in front of us. And the amazing thing is in doing that the right way, the phone rings again. And it rings again. And it keeps ringing and it keeps growing. And then you can touch even more lives.

Absolutely love it. And just so that way people know, that wall behind you full of photos, you can't see it because it's at a distance, but that wall. And we'll talk a little bit about your podcast later, John, but that wall is full of who.

So right before we went live, I kind of got a cheer around my office. Over to this side is my family. It's my grandparents on both sides. Both grandparents grew up in the Depression. Both of them went off to war. And I remember just sitting around eating fried chicken on Sunday nights as one would argue with the other, who had it worse? The one who was in the Navy in the Pacific, or the one who was in Europe fighting the Germans. And as a little boy, looking up at these two heroes, just in awe of this inspiration of the greatest generation. The greatest generation. But here's why I want you to know that not only is their picture up on the wall, what made them the greatest generation wasn't the fact that they endured the Great Depression. You and I would do that. What made them the greatest generation wasn't the fact they went off to war. I think we would, too. What made them the greatest generation is that when they returned, they never forgot what they went through together. They never forgot the experiences that transformed them, that inspired them, that made them even better versions of themselves. And my hope, during this time of chaos and misery, as a nation and as a global community, is that we, when we come through it, because we will come through it. Some say six months, some say 18, I don't know, but we will come through it, is that we use this experience of adversity as something that redeems us for being even better afterwards. That we not forget what actually matters. That we not forget who actually matters. That we not forget that we are highly interconnected, not only around the United States, but around the entire world. We're one family. Let us not forget that. So let's experience of adversity make us the greatest generation going forward. So there are pictures up on the wall, but you asked about the one behind me. Those are podcast guests I've had on. And it's astronauts, it's authors, it's overcomers, it's marathon runners, it's men and women who have overcome something of profound significance, had lessons to teach. The world have done so. And I leveraged our live, inspired podcast so that they can use their voice to remind us that we're supposed to be using our voices today. Your voice matters.

Love it. Here's what we're going to do, John. We have three areas that we need to show up for, and we've done this. And I want to go ahead and tab forward with the three areas that we'll focus on. That's a picture right now of John and her family. Oh, my goodness. I'm just. I'm just sharing with the audience your current. How long ago was this photo taking, John?

That was taking a long time ago, before COVID 19. So this is way back in October of 2019, when we were on top of the world, when the money was flowing in, when the clients were calling, when we were healthy, when my mom and dad were healthy, when no one was sick and everybody had smiles on their face. But here's the reason I say that in that tone. We still try to keep the smiles on our face. We still have hope in our hearts. We still believe that the best is yet to come. I still believe that. So although business has gotten a lot harder, we remain grateful for what we've been able to do and what we think we're going to be able to do going forward. So that picture is only about 4 months old.

Great family. Love it. All right, so what we did was we wanted to talk about who to show up for. And internally, it starts with you. And you talked about vulnerability. I have no issues with it. I'm here in Northern California, here in Stockton, at my home. And as We've talked about. I have a compromised immune system. Many people that are currently on this webinar may have their own sense of compromised immune system. Maybe they're in an older demographic where the risk of COVID is a little bit more there for them. I haven't ventured past my driveway in most cases because I'm so afraid of my compromised immune system and the chemotherapy that I went through. And I got to tell you, it's a real mental struggle for me. There's a lot of. For an extrovert like me, this has been really, really hard. And I'm fortunate to have enough friends and family that have been texting or calling and checking in with me, and that's been awesome. And Zoom and Google hangouts and events like this have allowed me to be face to face with other people through our virtual world. But it is like a reset every day, right? I am drained through what I was provided with, the love and support and friendship. And then tomorrow I wake up like last night, John Straight honesty. I had some dreams about COVID and I dreamt about the people that were getting sick, and I was worried about myself getting sick. And it felt selfish that I was thinking about myself getting sick when there are so many other people that are. But you can't control your dreams. They are what they are, and I know that for a fact. We have to reset every day. And I'm sure that you have, John, days that you wake up and you go, man, I really wish I had all my fingers, or I really wish that I had this happening instead of other. And then you reset yourself because you have to show up for other people. So let's talk about starting with you. What is it something that we can do as an audience that's watching this or listening to this, that they can show up for themselves every day and prep themselves to be the very best version of themselves before they can be the best version for other people.

That's so good. So, first of all, thank you for sharing that. And for those of you who are in that exact same position, I get it. And we understand and that we're in this thing together, always have been, but now we recognize even more so how connected and interconnected we all are. So what I do every morning, and I would encourage all of you to consider doing something similar to this, is I wake up about an hour before I actually need to. I find that most of our clients and many of my friends and family, they wake up to the sound of the alarm clock and they realize they're Already behind schedule. And the rest of the day is a race. And it's full of panic. And this is during good days. This is before even the chaos of today has shown up in our lives. But if you wake up a little bit earlier, you get to determine how the day is going to unfold in front of you. So I wake up at least an hour before I really need to. I go downstairs, I get a big jar of water, I get a big cup of coffee or tea. I walk outside, sit on our porch. And usually it's dark, but eventually, as I look east, east is that way. In our house, there's this little baby glimmer of hope that starts cutting through the darkness. It's called the sun. And amazingly, I don't know how it even happens. Man, every single day it happens. I get to watch the sunrise, I get to watch lights cut through darkness. And as it rises higher in the sky, or as the earth tilts a little bit farther, I journal on one question. And the question I ask myself and leaders listening right now, I beg you guys to do this. The question is, why me? Why me? And what it does for me is it gives me minutes or 20, 30 minutes of journaling things, events, opportunities, adversity, people, freedoms, citizenship, life, faith. Things that I'm grateful for today. So rather than looking first at the headlines and COVID 19 and how many more lives are claimed last night or where it's spreading next, or what it's done to the economy and the real estate markets, we'll get there next. You got to be real. At some point, you got to be pragmatic. But you don't have to start there. So I began every day with a sense of profound gratitude and faithfulness for what I have and in my faith view what God is doing in my life still. So for me, the very first step along the journey is to recognize how firm the foundation of my life remains. And I do that in gratitude. The cool thing about gratitude is not only does it adjust your mindset, it will change your dreams at nighttime. It will also change the way you show up in your daytime. It allows you to be healthier, have greater vitality, connect more authentically and authoritatively with those around you. It creates greater longevity of life, build greater resiliency in your immune system. All of this is a result of doing something that is free. I'm not trying to sell you a subscription service right now. Free. Go outside with a 92 cent pen or spend a little bit more money if you want. Grab a journal, cocktail napkin, if you had it late night the night before, I'm not judging you. I'm here to love you. Go outside with whatever you want to ride on and, and just watch the sun come up over the cherry blossoms and say, damn it, why me? Life ain't perfect, but I'm still in the game and I'm grateful for it. Watch what happens. Do that a couple times, do it three times, do it four times, do it for a week and tell me if it doesn't change your mindset.

You know, John, we've shared a stage together in New Orleans and randomly enough, some people ask me, you know, how did you get into speaking yourself? Me, Emory, how did you get into speaking? And I think about myself growing up and kind of the way that I've operated. And some people move towards pleasure and some people move away from pain. And for me personally, I've been a move away from pain. So I work my ass off to make sure that I never get back to where I was in one part of my life. And this dream that I had last night probably had a lot to do with me watching the news and seeing the horrific numbers that are increasing and then going to bed right away, right? And getting that REM sleep and getting, downloading it into my brain is the long term memory. And I feel like at times I'm doing that in order to remember why I can't walk past my driveway, why I've been self quarantined for three weeks to almost to scare myself into doing that. And I didn't realize I was doing that until right this second when you mentioned that. So for me it's more of a, it's a don't, don't forget, don't walk past this, you're going to get zapped. Don't get close to the electric fence. Emoryn. And here's why you shouldn't do it. And it's like I'm reminding myself instead of just being grateful on the other side of it and saying, look, I'm healthy now, I have a wonderful family scenario with my wife and I'm here in my home that we own. Instead of doing that, I'm going panic, panic, panic. And I think a lot of us that are going stir crazy are feeling a similar way. So you mentioning that right now is going to change what I'm going to do tomorrow, which is, yeah, I want to be informed, I do want to know the news, but I don't need to watch it for four hours going into the night and then trying to fall Asleep. That's causing a real problem for me the very next day to reset.

There's absolutely no reason to watch or read more than a half an hour of the news. And if you're doing much more than that, you're way over aware of what is happening right now in Spain. Unless you are from Spain and you are a physician or you are a person of great affluence that can make a massive contribution to the effort for you to be aware of every single thing that is happening negatively everywhere in the world. At the same time, you're killing yourself and you're not helping those who are dying or sick. So if you have the influence to make a difference, step into the fire, make a difference. Bring a towel, bring a fire extinguisher, put it up. But if you're just watching to watch car wrecks, it's not a surprise when we go to bed a little depressed and have nightmares while we sleep. So I just beg you guys, control what you can. Strive to make a difference, but don't live your lives under the water of negativity.

In one of my talks that I give, I give the example of the airplane. When you're on the airplane and when they're giving you instructions and the air masks drop down, what do they say first? They say, put one on yourself before putting on somebody else. And I think of that, and I think of that in life, that sometimes we need to make sure that we're okay first before we give the advice or guidance or help to other people. Let's talk about that, John, moving forward. So showing up for your loved ones. So showing up for your loved ones, that's something that you. I deal with it. I only have one person, we don't have children, but my wife Jessica and I, we're the only ones that are able to be in contact with each other, to be honest with you. Like a week ago we got in a car and we just drove. We rolled up the windows with no place to go, and we just drove around for an hour and a half because we needed to be physically outside and see what was going on, just be out of the home. But I don't think we talked. We just sat there and stared out the windows and listened to a little bit of music and we drove through the wine country out here in Northern California. And having somebody to do that with didn't need us to say anything to each other. But just being there for each other was pretty amazing. How can we show up every day for our loved ones?

That's so good. Maybe through two ways. One is like, you just mentioned being there for them, but how do you be there for them in an effective manner? So one thing that I did back in 2017, I was doing this actually when you and I first met near the end of 2016, it was our busiest year of all time as a firm. And I was recognizing not only was I taking my wife for granted, but I was belittling her frequently. Like, this is the most important person in my life. And I was missing her beauty, like, just all that she was doing. So on January 1st, I got a journal, leather bound, and I started taking notes on January 1st of why I loved my wife in one way. That day, she was proving how cool she is. So on January 1, 2017, I wrote an entry that said dear Beth. And then I went on and explained what she did that day that just reminded me how incredible she is. And then I signed it, love, John. Went to bed January 2, woke up all day long. I'm looking for it. Oh, there it is. I saw it. So I wrote down today, I saw you do this beautiful January 3rd for 360 days. And I, at the end of the year, gave my wife that journal for Christmas. And I give her the worst gifts. I give her things like hot red dresses that I want to see her wearing. One year I gave her a freaking lawnmower. Okay, like, that's how I gift, gift. I'm the worst. But on this year, I finally gave her something that she might want, which was not one love letter, which was good. 360 love letters with me capturing her beauty every day for the previous year. More than that, two other things come out of that. One is anytime she's down on me or down on herself or down on her kids or down on life, she's able to open up this old leather bound journal and read how blessed she is, how beautiful she is, how worthy she is. That's cool. The other thing that comes out of this, though, for 360 days, I was only looking for what was right with my wife. Imagine that. Any jackass can point out how broken their spouses or their partner is, or President Trump is, or Obama before, or how bad the neighborhood is, or how anybody can do that. And it's popular. It's common trade these days. Look at your Twitter feed. But there's a better way to go through life. It's not like a Pollyanna. It's seeing life through the lens of truth and finding things that are good and then magnifying that beauty. And for a year, that's what I did with my wife. It was the best year of our marriage that we've ever had. So one thing you can do for your loved ones is, yes, show up for them, but show up for them intentionally. Go for the ride on purpose, set the dates in your calendar, or write them love letters every day. So that might be very cool for those of us, though, that don't have a roommate, you don't have a partner or spouse, we're all quarantined right now. What a cool time for you to write a real love letter to someone and your wife today, maybe a parent or a rabbi, a pastor, send it. And then tomorrow when you wake up in quarantine, because that's where you're going to be to write another one and then call them the quarantine love letters, whatever you want to call them. Okay? You can take the brand hashtag, let it ride. Every day acknowledging one person from your past or your present that is influencing you for the better on the profound impact that they made on you. And then hit send. Not electronically, that's. That's overused. Write a little love letter the old fashioned way with your hand on a piece of paper, drop it in the mail, send it off, and then three to five days later, blow somebody away with the season of life, man. So I just encourage you today to look for people in your life that you ought to be grateful for. And rather than just getting after your day and selling thereafter, pausing long enough to recognize, to make inventory of it and then hit send on it.

I wish I had it with me. What you just said was very deep. I'm looking at some of the messages here. They say we absolutely love this idea of the love letters. And it could be not just for like a spouse, but it could be for a family member, a friend, somebody that you care about, could be anybody that you're giving these love letters to. And it doesn't have to be to the point where you feel uncomfortable about showing that love. Just the act of anything, saying, I've taken time out of my day to think about you. And here, here's how it worked. I remember, I think Jessica was out of town at the time. She was recently at a bachelorette party out of town and I was at home. And randomly enough. Petya. I play tricks with Petya. For those of you that don't know Petya, she is our marketing manager for nexthome. And sometimes she'll be walking around the office and I always grab her phone and I Would take a picture of myself as a selfie on her phone. You know, some ugly photo of me doing this. Well, she played the. She turned the tables on me. And she made these little emorent head photos. Stickers. She went to Sticker Mule and made them. And then I showed up to work one day, and these stickers are all over the office, everywhere. So she made these stickers for me, and it was a lot of fun. So I had a surplus of these stickers, and I. And I put in the next on Facebook group. And I was like, does anybody want one of these stupid stickers to make your day or make you laugh or just. It was an ugly photo of me. And I think I sent out handwritten notes mailing them out to about 100 people. And it's. It's been real fun for everybody to see these dumb stickers that they're putting on their laptops or whatever. But I feel the. The joy that I got back with people saying, thanks for sending me this. I can't believe you actually sent it. That in itself was a nice smile factor. Even though it was embarrassing for me. I enjoyed it. But the point of why I'm bringing that up is it can have some levity to it. It can be fun. It doesn't necessarily have to be so heavy because just the act of you doing something for them causes people to feel like you care. And that's important, too.

It's so important. Last year, when the market was killing it, when unemployment was historically low and houses were flying off the shelves, last year, 1.5 million Americans attempted to take their own life. For me, this is a cause I champion. It's affected our life directly. It's affected the life of almost anybody I know personally. Suicide's everywhere. Just. Nobody talks about it. Nobody talks about it. It's everywhere. And I wonder what it's going to look like as people are sheltered in their own home, feeling more and more and more and more alone and isolated, in despair. So next home, friends, you. You have an opportunity to cut through that despair and cut through that isolation with a love letter, with a phone call, with a FaceTime chat, with a Skype call. Any way that will break through that silo where people are feeling like they're all by themselves. You can keep somebody alive today, and maybe that's a little grandiose. You can share somebody. You can share a little bit of light with someone today, for sure. So I just. I encourage you. Don't just watch Netflix tonight. You know, I mean, listen, I like Watching TV from time to time too. You use this as a season to invest yourself in those around you. And when the market returns, they will remember it. They will remember you.

I say that as people are reconnecting and they are rekindling relationships or that one phone call that they should have made. You know, John, when you were going through your near death experience, you were very young, you, you had your relationships. There wasn't FaceTime back then, there wasn't Internet like it is today. So you had your thoughts and what you were going through and what you were thinking for the survival. I remember going through my stuff to where I didn't really think about how many houses that I closed that year or how good I was at my listing presentation. My regrets as I was going through my sickness was, man, why didn't I call my friend? Why didn't I, Why didn't I call my sister more? Or how come I didn't ever show up to that one thing that I kept getting invited to by that one friend? And I'm hoping that not only are we recovering economically when this is done through Covid, but we're also recovering in a way that allows us to be the very best version of ourselves every day moving forward. Not just because we're cooped up in the house through quarantine. Our governments, our social distancing, everything is causing us to stop doing what we normally do. And we're finding our new norm is actually reconnecting with people when we can't connect with them physically, in person. And I'm hoping that this on the other side of it, changes our world in a way that says we are going to make more phone calls, we are going to try to mend fences, we are going to make sure that we show up to people that maybe we have a disagreement with. But I respect you enough to have that disagreement civilly. And I still love you as a person. I still care about you as a person.

That's my hope. And there's just no excuses not to. I got a text yesterday from friends of mine from grade school. Man, I'm an old guy standing in front of you today. Friends of mine from grade school. It was at 4 o' clock yesterday afternoon. And all the text says was, will any of you join me for happy hour? So I click on this. There's a FaceTime call currently going on. Click in 3 of my friends and 4 of my friends and eventually 5 of my friends on having a beer together. One guy's having a nice tea because he doesn't drink anything, and the five of us hop on this call and reconnect. And it's like we're doing life together again as friends. And so there are ways to break down the boundaries of isolation. And next home, as you are the one sending out those texts and those handwritten notes and those phone calls of encouragement, not only is it inspiring someone right now, but here's the business case. They will remember this when the market turns. They will remember you as being there for them when no one else was. So use this as an example and as an opportunity for you to build the case that your business is challenged right now. No doubt about it. But here's an opportunity for you to plant an awful lot of great seeds.

What a perfect segue. Business and clientele. So let's go.

We did not reverse this, but I like where you're going.

Okay, so here's the interesting part about John. His job, his career, his inspirational journey takes him on a plane to a destination away from his family. Stay in a hotel. It's so funny when I talk to people and they go, oh, I want to be speaker two. I go, are you sure? Let me unveil the curtain a little bit. It's a lot of nights in a hotel by yourself, eating in the bar, lobby, restaurant. It's traveling through crowded airports. It's trying to catch your flights. It's taking that Uber that you're waiting for to get there, all for that one hour that you see us on stage, and you don't measure the 24 hours leading up to it and the 24 hours leading to the next destination or yourself. So, John, you yourself. This has completely halted your speaking business. With the exception of Zooms or go to webinars like this. You've had to adjust big time, just like a lot of us have. What have the adjustments been like for you?

So we have a model where there's seven employees here, and primarily our job is to get John o' Leary on the road. If I'm being completely transparent, how do you meet people where they are so that when they have a need for a presenter, John o' Leary is the first one they think of? And so the entire model was, how do I sell a home, right? How do I get this one transaction and then get the referrals to get the next transaction? But it was always built around relationships. That's how we've been doing this thing now for 15 consecutive years. So on March 2, when I came back from Phoenix, I've not been out of town since then. And everything through July is canceled. That's currently 33 meetings that are canceled. That's, that's, that's a lot of opportunities.

Sorry, John, how many did you do annually?

We do about 85 annually and.

Unbelievable. So you figure that it, that there's usually a travel day to the location if you're coming from St. Louis, and then travel day back home for whatever that, that loop is. So 33 events at the current rate, that's a significant portion of your income. I mean, basically a third of it.

It's a third. And it will be more than half by the time it's all said and done. But here's the cool thing. Number one. Personally, it also means I've had 29 dinners at home with my wife and my four kids. So this kid you showed a little while ago with their little dog, emma. I've had 29 consecutive dinners. I haven't had 29 dinners at home since 2007.

Wow.

So rather than being mad about it, I'm actually just savoring the opportunity of shooting baskets with my kids every night, playing ping pong with my boys every evening, tucking them in, having a glass of wine with my wife on the screen porch, being a husband and a father during this season. So rather than cursing it, I'm trying to be really grateful for it. That's one piece. The second is it's very hard to pivot our business model when things are going pretty good. When things become more adverse, you realize I'm either going to change or I'm going to die. And I'm not going to die. I'm not going to die, and neither is my team. So I'm working really hard right now to keep seven people employed. That's what gets me up early, keeps me up late thinking about how do I keep these folks engaged. But all that with the context of how do we impact the community through what we currently are facing? And so, yes, we're doing more zoom and webex calls. Our podcast, though, has doubled in our platform following in the last 30 days, we've created something called the Live Inspired Television Network. So we're bringing on incredible guests like Brene Brown and Dave Ramsey and astronauts, people who've been through real storms and reminding people that through the season of quarantine, we can get through it together. So that's beginning to grow. We're speaking to our clients kind of like you and I are speaking right now, doing keynote presentations, but doing this on video, waking up, having a pair of shorts on below my tie in Sport coat.

Yeah, don't stand up. Right. Okay. Yeah, I'm wearing jeans myself down here.

But yes, but I have flip flops on and I'm home for dinner. And so the business model is changing, but it's not ending. It's just different. And we believe we can actually influence even more lives through this change. So rather than sprinting away from the headwinds in sailing, you put the sail up and you actually turn into it on an airplane. Going back to your previous example, the way you take off is actually into the wind. You don't run from the wind and take the engines full blast away from it. You actually pivot right into it. So Realtors, during the season of profound change and uncertainty, it is inviting you into elevating your sale, pivoting into it and harnessing the wind while everyone else is heading for the exits and burying themselves at home. I believe you can be thinking through collaborative, creative, cool ways to touch your clients lives right now to to ensure that the business model remains on steady footing and that your best days are in front of you.

I like that premise, John. And I think there's a fine line. I did a webinar last week talking about the good, bad ugly of social media and what people are posting right now in our industry and our living on commission breath, where the desperation of them having a lack of business during this time or fear from it, it's causing more damage than good with their posting. What would you suggest to somebody that's wanting to build a business in a time of uncertainty, in a time of maybe their own fears or panics, but still being able to do what you need to do in order to sustain for your family and loved ones the income to survive? How do you lean into that to where you're able to maybe not feel insensitive to the world that it is today, but also be a resource to them?

So my mom had an expression growing up that she would share with the Simran when things were going really well. So when we got on the right team, when we won the right game, when we got in the right school, when we got the right job, when the girls said yes, when we asked them out, whatever it was, she would whisper to us, this too shall pass. So when we were on top of the mountain, rocking and rolling, my mama would humble us and say, baby, this too shall pass. Don't get a big head. But she would also give us some encouragement when we felt beat down by the headwinds, when we did not get in the right school, we did not make the right team. We did not get the first job, and nobody would even call us back. And what she would remind us during that season was very different. You may want to write it down for the season you're currently living in. What she would say then is, this too shall pass. This too shall pass. These great days or these lousy days will eventually pass away. And I think that's a really good reminder. During the positive season, which is around the corner, this too shall pass. But during the season of profound change that all of us are enduring. All of us. I need you guys, I need you ladies, I need you leaders to remember it's not going to be like this forever. It's not. This too shall pass. So then the question is, okay, knowing that tomorrow is going to be brighter, what are you doing today? Not tomorrow. What are you doing right at this moment to ensure that your tomorrow is brighter than your yesterday? What we're doing at our firm, we're pivoting the way we're serving people. We're pivoting the way we're meeting them where they are with their meetings and events, with the podcasts that we're doing, with the television shows we're doing. We're also pivoting the way that we reach out to them. We have 2,000 clients from the past 15 years. We have reached out by phone call and then by handwritten note to all of them over the last three and a half weeks. And we're just going to keep loving on them for as long as this takes for us to come through this thing together. I'm not selling them right now. I'm reminding them that they're not alone. Hang on. Put up your sale. Let's step into this thing together. We are meant to be our brothers and sisters, keepers. So even online, we built a whole church model where if people have money during this time, they can pay us organizationally what they normally would. And if they don't have money, I'm here to serve you. We're doing this thing together, people. And so our model has completely changed. But I think people will never forget the way you serve them during periods of crisis. So, Realtors, I beg you, during a season of change to recognize it won't be like this forever. So the work you're doing today will influence what actually happens tomorrow.

Absolutely. I'm definitely going to skim this as a pod, because what you just said right there, that right there, that summarizes everything that I've ever wanted out of this webinar, which is that. That message itself. John, we have some questions I want to make sure that we show up for. So here's a comment here. How do we help seniors who are devastating, it's horrific mentally for them. How can they be of assistance to those that are in seniors and are isolated or having some problems with connecting with other people? What can they do?

So again, I don't know how significant the isolation is. I'll make some assumptions. I'll make an assumption. They have a phone, but they have a mailbox and they have a front door. So here's what I'm doing for a neighbor who lives two doors down. And then I'll tell you what I'm doing for my parents. For the neighbor two doors down, we're cutting her grass. It's a little. But this sweet old widow has no chance in the world of getting outside right now. Going to the gas station, picking up a liter of gas or whatever it is. I don't know how she did this in the old days, but I know she's not doing it in the current days. So my boys and I are taking care of that for her. We're bringing the trash cans to and from the street for her. We've offered. She has not taken us up on this yet to do the grocery shopping for her. We're trying to love her and let her know she's not alone. And about every three days or so, I call and say, hey, is there anything, Nancy, we can do for you? Anything? Anything. You want us to paint your attic? You want us to pull some nanol Any, we'll do it. And guess what? She's probably not going to book John O' Leary for a speech next year. She's in her 80s, so there is no get on this thing. It should put yourself out there and you trust that you're doing the right thing for the right reasons. So that's for Nancy, for my mom and dad. My dad's got Parkinson's disease. My dad is highly at risk. He's immobilized. He's in a wheelchair. He can't even communicate with his work.