Stewart CohenDirector/DP/Photographer, Stewart Cohen Pictures · Director/DP/Photographer @ Stewart Cohen Pictures | Film Production

SC Pictures | Mansfield Texas | Education :90 | DP Stewart Cohen

11 Oct 2022 · 2 min

Watch on YouTube

1:34

The video presents a brief, comedic sketch framed as a city‑government meeting about education. Four unnamed speakers (A‑D) engage in a rapid, absurd dialogue that mocks inflated education statistics and proposes ridiculous policies. Speaker B boasts that "100% of our students are graduating 100% of the time" and cites a 12‑year‑old Princeton‑bound prodigy, while Speaker C counters with paradoxical statements about genius. The group then suggests outlandish measures: removing all pencils and chairs, replacing textbooks with Reader’s Digest, granting teachers unlimited vacation (effectively eliminating teachers), and turning schools into a "Lord of the Flies" scenario. The satire escalates with claims of achieving 105% graduation rates and a plan to reduce it further, highlighting the nonsensical nature of bureaucratic goal‑setting. The sketch ends with a brief, deadpan line from Speaker D about the city being closed. The overall tone is mocking and hyperbolic, using exaggerated claims to critique how education performance is reported and how policy discussions can become detached from reality.

Chapters

Uh, let's hear from, uh, education.
All right, everyone. Education stats. 100% of our students are graduating 100% of the time. That's a lot. I mean, my neighbor's kid is going to Princeton, for goodness' sake. He's 12 years old. We'll have a town full of geniuses.
You know what?
If everyone in town's a genius, no one in town's a genius.
That's genius. That's true. What if we all dressed up as school bullies and went and made fun of— All the smart kids.
Take away the number 2 pencils.
Take away all pencils.
No pens, no pencils. Take away the chairs. They have to stand all day.
Let's replace the textbooks with Reader's Digest. Ooh. I like that. I love that.
A benefit program for teachers who sabotage their students.
Or we give teachers unlimited vacation days. That's brilliant. And so there's no teachers.
We'll leave the schools to kind of be like a Lord of the Flies situation.
Exactly. Who has power? Exactly. I think we've got some great ideas here.
Let's put a pin in it. Okay.
All right. And, uh, just a heads up, Mayor, we had 105% We did not graduate 100% of the time before you arrived.
Wow. Let's bring that down another 5% this year, folks. Let's do it. Hear, hear. Great job, education.
Our city is closed. We're pretty busy right now.