The Path to Enlightened Leadership with David Meltzer

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Hi, I'm Susan Jerome and welcome to the Enlightened Executive where your personal evolution sparks your leadership evolution. Each episode we feature groundbreaking techniques and strategies to help you get the edge in personal and leadership effectiveness. This episode is brought to you by Meritage Leadership. At Meritage, we empower teams and strengthen leaders to achieve high performance. Go to meritageleadership.com to learn more. Today we're going to discuss the recipe for happiness. And I'm delighted to introduce David Meltzer. David is a legendary sports executive and formerly served as CEO of the sports and entertainment agency that was the inspiration for the movie Jerry Maguire. He's one of the world's top entrepreneurs, investors and business coaches. David has been recognized by Variety magazine as their sports Humanitarian of the Year and awarded the Ellis Island Medal of Honor. His his life mission is to empower 1 billion people to be happy. And over the past 20 years, David has been providing free weekly trainings to spread his message. So welcome David. I love your mission. I can't wait to hear more. Tell me a bit about how you came to this and what you've been doing in the world with it.

I love it. Well, I'm here to empower over a billion people to be happy and what I'm good at and how I created happiness or joy, however you want to define it. I think labels are for shampoo. So so many people get caught up on happiness and joy and the distinction between the two. But I have learned through my journey of the world of not Enough. Growing up poor with a single mom, we raised six kids working two jobs, packing my dinner in a paper bag. And between her two jobs to the world of just enough. Where I was a millionaire nine months out of law school, training and negotiating every single thing to my first exit in 1995, a $3.4 billion with west publishing into Thomson Reuters and then being CEO of the most notable, the first convergence device and then running the most notable sports agency in the world. I lived in this world of just enough for me. Buying things I didn't need to impress people I didn't like. Always being able to make a lot of money, but not understanding, giving or receiving or helping others. And I certainly wasn't happy or having fun doing it. And through that journey and understanding the relationship between giving and receiving and witnessing itself, I wanted to teach and learn the world of more than enough. An infinite, abundant, unified system of everything for everyone. And what really set me forth on my mission though, Was that my 12 year old daughter came into my beach house Crying that her friend, a 12 year old little girl, had committed suicide. And this set me into, I'm a researcher, I, I love to learn. And I set forth on learning how can this be? And what I found was that it wasn't just 12 year olds, that it was every demographic, that suicide was the fastest growing cause of death. No matter what color you were, how tall you were, how skinny or fat you were, it didn't matter. People had a happiness problem. And so I kept doing research and I was walking on the beach and it came my calling, that I knew how to do three things. I always knew how to make a lot of money, how to help a lot of people and have a lot of fun. And so I codified the values that it takes through my journey, one of which took me, like I said, to the punishment and victimization of not enough, to the shallow, empty feeling of just enough, to an unbelievable, fulfilled feeling. And it took my wife threatening to leave me, my best friend leaving me, me hating my mom and my dad.

Caused the shift, because we talk a lot about this journey to enlightened leadership.

Yeah, it was a quantum shift, but the, the last piece of the puzzle that really set me in the trajectory, what I call the divine direction with the divine time in which I lead my life today. The quantum shift occurred because my wife, who is my dream girl since the fourth grade, who, my best friend Rob, who now hated me, asked to go study at sixth grade camp for me. And so she said no, tell him to ask me himself and embarrass me. And so I threw an egg at her. And here I was, you know, at my mid-30s, multi millionaire, worth over $100 million, married to my dream girl with three beautiful, healthy, wonderful daughters under 10. And I came home after lying to my wife about going to the Grammy Awards with little John the rapper, she was leaving me. And she told me quite candidly that she wasn't happy and that she was going to leave and that I should take stock in who I was and what I wanted to become or I was going to die. And she didn't want to stay there and see what was in my future. And so I immediately told her, just like I told my mom, my dad and my best friend, that I hated her. And the next morning when I woke up thinking about how I was going to steal her joy or happiness and take all her money, and me being a lawyer and knowing so many lawyers, money bought love and happiness, I knew how I was going to punish her. But I looked over in the closet As I was full of hurt and hate. And I saw a jacket that I hadn't seen in years. It was a jacket my dad had given me at 30 years old for my birthday when I told him I hated him. It was a jacket with no pockets. My dad had told me I was just like him. He was worried about me, that money does not buy love and happiness. And that he had given me a jacket to hang in my closet with no pockets to remind me I couldn't take anything with me when I was gone. I looked at that jacket and I still get choked up today because I remember thinking to myself, I don't hate my dad. I don't hate my mom, I don't hate my best friend Rob, and I certainly don't hate my wife. I hated myself. I was a liar, a cheater, a manipulator, an overseller, a back end seller. Just like I called my dad the day he gave me that jacket. And so I sat there and took stock in who I was. I came up with these values, gratitude, forgiveness, accountability and effective communication, and which have been a foundational principle in which I have practiced every day, noting that good behavior creates good progress, not good outcomes immediately. And that good behavior is aggregated, accelerated and compounded exponentially to provide the life that I now lead with more than enough of everything for everyone. Not just enough, not not enough, but more than enough. And that set me in this quantum shift, a true transformation. And it's really relative to understanding that the more you give, the more you're given, the more you're given. If you have your values, the more you will receive, the more you receive with that wisdom and incorporating faith, the more you can ask for, and the more that you ask for, then the more you can give, receive more, give more, ask for more. You live in a world of more than enough instead of a zero sum game where you give and expect to receive without feeling worthy of what's given or worthy of asking for more or.

In fear of not enoughness. Right. It's a virtuous cycle. And so, you know, you mentioned the crisis of mental health that so many young people, but as you said, all ages are experiencing. What, what do you think is, is missing or what would you for reaching other listeners who may be dealing with that with a child or dealing with them themselves? What is your message to them about how to shift out of that type of pattern?

Well, there's a great energy crisis that exists today and has perpetuated and amplified by technology and media and social media. It's one that's always existed, but it's exacerbated to a truly epidemic proportion. And when I say that, I mean there has always been I am A.D. and I, I and I in so many different philosophies, theories, religions, spirituality, I am. And there's always been this is what I want people to think I am. And because of technology and the amplified different perspectives that exist in media and social media, this gap, this energy suck between I am and this is what I want people to think I am has created the voids, the shortages, the obstacles, the interference, fear between us. And I am understanding we're part of an abundant, infinite unified system of more than enough. And so many people are continually trying to get more unrealistically, get more, more happy, more healthy, more wealthy and more worthy. Instead of thinking I am I am happy, I am healthy, I am wealthy, I am worthy. What am I doing to interfere with it? And so in my journey of my mission is to help people identify I am and identify what I'm doing to interfere with it.

And what if the actual self talk is I am what I would call a playlist that isn't working, which is, you know, I am an imposter, I am not good enough, I am not safe, I am treated unfairly. Uncovering that, right? This is what I want to project because I want to feel that way and I'm not really that person. But what I really feel is this. And what is, what do you recommend for shifting when that is apparent?

Well, first we have to meet people where they're at and so realistically we never can change anyone. What we try to do is understand where they are. One of the techniques that I utilize is let's get out of the realm of trying to figure out what you're afraid of. It's a complex journey to figure out what you're afraid of to cause you to feel I am an imposter, I'm not worthy, I am sad, I'm depressed, I'm anxious. And so what I help people do is number one, I meet you where you're at, but then I elevate your awareness, your frequency, your vibration in order to effectuate a quicker way of finding the clues, the patterns to make better choices. And the clues and patterns that are easily identified in everyone is how do I react to fear? See, I don't care what you're afraid of. I don't care because sometimes fear is apparent. If you were, you know, sitting in a cave and a saber toothed tiger walked by, you would Know what you're afraid of. But most people's traumas aren't that apparent. And so it's much easier to recognize the clues and the patterns of the reaction to fear. So meeting people where they're at and teaching them, hey, look, when we're afraid, we have a need to be right. When we're afraid, we have a need to be offended. When we're afraid, we have a need to be separate. When we're afraid, we have a need to be inferior or superior or anxious, frustrated, angry, depressed, guilty, resentful. And so meeting you where you're at, let's let go of what you're afraid of and know that fear is omnipresent. It'll be there every day. It'll just changes form as you grow older and suffer different traumas and struggles and shortages, voids and obstacles, mistakes, defining moments, historical relevances in your past. But if we stay focused and give our attention and intention to the reaction to fear, which is immediate, it's as apparent as a saber toothed tiger walking past your cave. When you're pissed, you know it. When you're sad, you know it. When you feel guilty, you know it immediately.

Yeah.

And then let's use a pragmatic tool to help facilitate an aggregation and acceleration and a compounding of an outcome of divine nature, divine direction, divine time. By instead of resisting the guilt, the fear, the separation, the void, shortages and obstacles, instead of trying to go over it and under it and through it and around it, lying to it, manipulating, cheating and deny it, fueling it with more fire, realize that when we're reacting to fear, we are on fire. Our minds are on fire, our bodies are on fire, our souls are on fire. And when we're on fire, the best thing we can do is stop. Simply stop. Breathe through our nose and out through our mouths and drop down to center, drop down to recollect with the infinite. Recollect with the unified, abundant, infinite unified system. Reconnect with your source, the omniscient, all powerful, all knowing source that's bigger than you, however you define or label it, and loves you, protects you and promotes you more than your mom. And when you reconnect with that and you recollect with that and you remind with that, now you can roll into the divine direction, the divine timing of what you want, giving meaning to the past aligned with what you want, who you can help, who can help you, how best you can get it done within the context of 24 hours, in which, by the way, you're guaranteed every day of your life, except for the last day of your life, you'll be cheated. That's the only day that you're going to be cheated anytime. So utilize that precious time to facilitate rolling in a trajectory, a divine direction, a divine time of more than enough of everything for everyone. And I promise you, if you start getting in the practice of understanding and elevating your awareness to what you're reacting and understanding. When my mind, body and soul are on fire, I gotta stop, I gotta drop and I gotta roll.

I like that. I know, I wanna double click a bit on the patterning because I believe that if people actually recognize that the way they're reacting to whatever's happening on a set pattern and you can see that pattern show up throughout your life, anytime this issue, where do you go? Usually go to some emotional pattern. And I know for me it was, I felt frustrated, I felt left out and ultimately I felt treated unfairly. Right. I had this, this phrase going and I would get angry at the, at the sort of unfairness. Well, at the end of the day, all that was was a neural pathway that I had grooved in times to look for circumstances and frankly actually attract them into my life by the vibration I was putting out there. Right. And so if you're going to shift that, you've got to just take a moment and just recognize that's just a p. It's not reality, it's just a pattern. And if it's just a pattern, we can shift the pattern. And I think people don't recogn, they don't feel like it could ever shift because it's the water they've swam, swam in. It's the only place they've ever known. But you're a testament to it absolutely can shift.

Absolutely. And it's genetic and energetic in its nature. It's not only conscious in the cellular memory that exists every 24 hours, but it's like you said, within the context of our neural pathways, our subconscious, but it's also in our DNA. It's genetically and energetically inherited. And we need the subconscious and the conscious to work in favor and alignment with the divine direction that we want to be in in order to activate our DNA. Through the epigenetic layer of the DNA, we can actually, through repetitive behavior of what we do, say, think, feel and believe, activate some of the genetic and energetic changes, choices instead of these patterns. And it's absolutely something that you can change. Some can change within a 21 day period, some can change within a 21 year period. And some may take 21 lifetimes in order to have a quantum shift in the genetic formation, the coding that makes you you. But the only thing that works in your favor is to progress towards the 21 days, the 21 years, or the 21 lifetimes. And that's where the joy is. It's not pursuing happiness. It's happiness is the pursuit through these daily behaviors that give one instant result called daily progress. And good and bad is only indicated by the alignment in which you want to be in, meaning that good and bad is only relevant to where you want to be or better not where other people, not what's missing, not what don't have. And so bad behavior is going to create bad progress not aligned with where you want to be. Good behavior is going to have good progress aligned with where you want to be. And eventually, in the nature of energy, it aggregates, compounds and accelerates, which is of true multitude or exponential value to you. And that's how people get so far ahead in their life of getting what they want sooner, faster and bigger.

Well, I know we only have a minute. What is one thing that listeners could do tomorrow to improve their sort of state of being around happiness?

I gotta just tell you, it's something I wish I would have learned and I continually remind myself, ask for help. It's the easiest and fastest way to get to where you want to be. Find someone. Find someone who's where you want to be and ask them for directions. Take a topic, a subject matter, an expertise that you're interested in and find someone. It's so easy today with the total, accessible, addressable size and scope and scale of a community today to find people who are sitting where you want to be and ask them for help. Ask them for direction. Remember, the more you give, the more you're given. The more you're given. The more you can receive. The more you receive, the more you can ask for. Then you'll be able to give more than more and receive more than more, and give and ask more than more. You'll start living in this world of more than enough. But it doesn't happen if you just give. You need to ask for help. Three unbelievable words that will take you to a divine place, a divine direction in a divine time that will guarantee the passion, the purpose and the profitability to give you a fulfilled life of happiness and joy.

Well, thank you so much, David. I really appreciate you coming on the show. Where can people find out more about you and your work?

Well, first I'd like to offer everyone in your community my book. So I will send my book, sign it, pay for shipping, pay for the book for anyone in your community. Just email me me directly. I answer all my emails davidmeltzer.com so go ahead email me David meltzer.com and if you forget my email davidmeltzer.com just Google me. I'm everywhere. David Meltzer Go ahead and ask for help. My name means Beloved Servant. I live my life as a beloved servant. I'm here to be of service and value. All you have to do is ask. Remember, be more interested than interesting. Be kind to your future self and do good deeds. Thank you so much for the opportunity to be here.

Thank you so much, David. If you like this episode, you're not going to want to miss my interview with Carla Johnson, who teaches us to empower every individual to think like an innovator. Let's lead the way. Hope you enjoyed today's episode, and I'd like to point you to the next important step. Hit the subscribe button and the bell to get notified when we release new content. I'll see you on the next episode of the Enlightened Executive.