Susan DrummCEO Advisor & Executive Coach | Leadership Change Agent

Your Leadership Style Started in Childhood

27 Feb 2026 · 1 min

Watch on YouTube

1:07

In this reflective monologue, Susan Drumm explains that the leadership traits many people think arise from professional experience actually have roots in early family dynamics. She recounts a vivid childhood memory of her father returning home angry, dismissing her, and demanding she leave the room, which made her feel invisible. This incident, along with a household rule to "manage Dad's energy at all costs," taught her to constantly read the emotional climate, stay calm, and pre‑empt conflict. She describes this learned habit of anticipating and regulating emotions as both a superpower—allowing her to lead effectively—and a trap, because it can lead to over‑control and avoidance of necessary confrontation.

Chapters

So you think it's your leadership style, the way you take control and stay calm or avoid conflict or just power through. But for most of us, that move we perfected, it doesn't start in the boardroom. It started in childhood. I remember one day as a kid, Maybe I was 6 or 7, my dad came home in a mood, and he'd had a very long day and was pretty disgusted with his work. And when he walked in, he didn't even say hello. And I was watching tv, and he just came in and changed the channel without a word. And I said, hey, I was watching that. Well, he didn't say sorry. He just yelled, get out. That hit hard. Not because what he said, but because how invisible I felt. And that wasn't the first time. The rule in our house was manage Dad's energy at all costs. Read the room, keep it calm, don't ask for too much. So I learned to lead by anticipating, by managing emotions, by trying to stay one step ahead of conflict. And that became my superpower, but it also became my trap.