In this monologue, Sylvia Leifheit argues that the experience of powerlessness is a fundamental component of ego consciousness, originating in childhood when the soul first encounters its own vulnerability. She describes how societal structures—family expectations, schooling, and work—systematically suppress the innate childlike freedom and playfulness, turning the spirit into a constrained ‘penguin.’ This suppression creates protective patterns, aggression, and emotional wounds that many carry throughout life. Leifheit critiques formal education for teaching only reading, writing, and arithmetic while neglecting spiritual faculties such as clairvoyance, clairsentience, and energy work, thereby wasting years on materialist values. She calls for a re‑education that restores childlikeness, play, and spiritual awareness, positioning the feeling of powerlessness not as punishment but as an impulse for conscious transformation. By recognizing and integrating this powerlessness, individuals can dismantle false beliefs, reclaim their true nature, and move toward wholeness, ultimately seizing life (Carpe Vitam) and meeting again at SPINE.
Chapters
The experience of powerlessness is an integral part of ego consciousness because at its furthest point, the soul experiences a feeling of powerlessness. And it is this powerlessness that can ultimately provide the decisive impetus for the counter-movement of consciousness, the homecoming. But where and how exactly this happens in each individual case is as varied as the forms of being. The experience of childhood is therefore not the background, but part of this energetic principle. Was it beautiful? Was it peaceful? Was it educational? Was it fulfilling or happy? Or was it, as it is for almost all people, the time when you carried the wounds around with you for the rest of your life and laboriously sought ways to heal them? Name me a single person who grows out of childhood and experiences no moments of powerlessness, You won't find anyone, because the experience of powerlessness is an essential part of being and demands our first attention in childhood. But as unavoidable as this stage is, it also presents itself in many different ways. Diamonds need to be cut, sure, and that means where it's hard, dark, and rocky. But birds want to fly and not learn how to walk in a cage. As children, we are all naïve, innocent, honest, and hungry for life as we will never be again in later life. A child wants to fly and its spirit wants to play in the world. If we take away their freedom at school, at work, in the family, and in society, we clip the bird's wings until it firmly believes that it is a penguin. To take a person's childlikeness is to rob him of the breath of life, the breath of joy, the breath of creating dreams and fairy tales. Because as devoted, grateful, and unconditional as a child loves and does things, it is also vulnerable. And it is this vulnerability that falls unprotected into life. The impulses of adults pelt the still unconscious and incapable soul, provoking the first counter impulses. Here, the soul perceives itself for the first time as an independent energy with an individual emotional world. In order for every energy to experience powerlessness, childhood is the inevitable stage for this state. Most people will never again be more powerless than in these years. You are small, weak, not taken seriously, and certainly not respected for the way you think and feel. You are twisted and turned until you fit the way your parents would like you to. You begin to learn that honesty is not considered a valuable asset on this planet, but rather lies and calculation, whether in interpersonal or professional relationships. Values are tangible, material, not immaterial. It is not what you are in your deepest self that is judged, but what you represent in this world, what you do in it, and how much gold and money surrounds you. In addition, although school teaches us existentially important things, it does not teach us the real thing, namely, who we can be, what our spiritual tasks and goals in our lives are, and how we can realize them. And so many, many valuable years of life are wasted, wasted with futilities that have grown out of blindness and unconsciousness and pursue a single purpose: to train each person's personal responsibility to the minimum in order to further fill powerlessness with meaning. If a person feels powerless, it is easier to integrate him into a serving people who realize the dogmas of the non-powerless. From my school days, I took reading, writing, and arithmetic, but not clairvoyance, clairaudience, clairsentience, and working with the elements and energy worlds and their impulses. It's just a shame that I spent 12 years on reading and arithmetic when I could have learned both in a single year. And even sadder is the fact that I never needed any of the things I learned at school again, except for the points mentioned. It is time to teach the children of the future different values, but above all different knowledge, and not to pursue 12 years of employment measures. All the injuries of childhood shape you. They deform your nature, which is mostly occupied with protecting itself. From the stupidity, rudeness, and power of adults, on whom you are dependent as long as you need a provider. Thick protective walls, aggression for the counterattack, crying fits for attention, or the lost laughter—all these are the fruits of the powerlessness that the cosmos has in store for us in childhood. If the soul energy somehow survives this time, It will take a long, long time to break down the protective patterns in order to become again what one actually is as a human being. Some never manage it in their lifetime. However you experience the powerlessness, it should give you the impulse to turn your consciousness. So recognize it as an opportunity and not as a punishment. So let's summarize: the experience of powerlessness is is an integral part of ego consciousness and manifests itself differently for each person. If you experience it in childhood, it calls you to explore where, when, and how you began to distance yourself from your true nature for a variety of reasons. The childlike animal in us wants to play. The mind in us wants to learn by playing. Separating the two robs the animal of strength and the spirit of its goal. The powerlessness enables you to recognize the illusion of false beliefs and negative experiences and to move out of it back to yourself and thus become whole. Grow up from the demands of others and flourish in your own demands. You are what you are. Don't let yourself be robbed in the time of powerlessness and use this impulse to move forward. Thank you as always for listening and Carpe Vitam, seize your life. See you at SPINE.
