EXCLUSIVE | “ I’m Done Being Trans! “ | TransWoman Shares Why he Wants to Change Back to a Man.

Listen, I'm glad that we finally got this interview going. You done set social media ablaze, Azario.

Okay, that definitely wasn't the plan.

Uh, you did it. Okay, and I don't know, we're gonna ask about the smoke that you got from the LGBTQ2. Oh yeah, we're gonna talk about all sides, but real quick, I just want to introduce you both. Okay, so Deidra Correct. Okay, and this is your son Azario?

Correct.

Okay, who was previously trans?

Correct.

All right, and what was your name that you went by as trans?

It was Ashley Shalani.

Ashley Shalani. Okay, and so, um, you put up a video. We're going to insert that video here just in case anybody has, you know, they want to reference it.

Okay, good afternoon, my name is Azario Carrithers. I formerly was living as Ashlee Shalani Carrithers. God made me a man. The devil tricked me into being trans, and now God has called me back. Today I want to invite whoever wants to go on this journey of deliverance with me. I want to invite you. The devil is a liar, and you have to publicly acknowledge that he's a liar. And so my pronouns are he and him. Again, my name is Azario. I am what they call detransitioning. I call it I am on my journey of deliverance. Because God made me a man, and a man I shall be. This is going to be a long journey, but I promise you, you're going to see the victory at the end because God is good and it's never too late. Let's go!

And, uh, we actually took the video and reposted it, and I was just shocked and amazed at how well it did. I think it's sitting at like 500,000 views now, if I'm not mistaken. We did tag you. I don't know what type of feedback you got from it, but, um, my viewers who are the winos put me on to both of you guys. Well, put me on to you. And then I saw the video of you standing behind your son and y'all were denouncing all things trans. And she was like, I'm covering my son in the blood of Jesus.

The devil is a lie. And I was like, oh shit.

It was like, Tasha, you really need to interview him and the mom because you know, there's a lot of questions here. And like I said, I can't imagine what type of heat you've probably been getting, or maybe positivity from the LGBT community as a whole.

All right, winos, you guys know that I am busy as hell, OK?

And so when I hit a lick, you hit a lick too.

You guys know that we have businesses, we got kids, we got all sorts of things going on. And we just don't have time to cook a lot. And a lot of times, we don't have time to eat out because it's either too expensive. And we also don't have time to grocery shop because it's too expensive as well. But I'm gonna tell you something. When I found CookUnity, all of that changed. Not only are they offering me gourmet meals made by real chefs, OK, that you can select from— they got hundreds of meals for all sorts of diets, whether you vegan, vegetarian, paleo, gluten-free, dairy-free, whatever it is that you have. They have fresh, never frozen meals ready to prepare that comes right to your door in this container here so that you can prepare it for your family, OK? It saves time, money, and everything like that. So me and Shek have literally worked 14 hours today. We don't have time to go sit in no restaurant because I'm actually working right now while I'm doing it. And so while I'm working, I'm actually eating. So my two meals that I chose today are the stir-fried coriander lemongrass shrimp made by Chef Abey Moise. And if you scan that little barcode, you can learn more about your meal there as well. The reason I chose this particular meal is because it has 24 grams of protein. All right, and you guys know that I'm always in the gym trying to build my little booty, trying to build my little legs, trying to lose fat and things like that. And then of course I got to keep my husband's protein count up too as well. And so today Sheck is going to be having the Mediterranean salmon and quinoa bowl. He loves salmon, and of course salmon is really loaded with protein. This has 40 grams and it's made by Chef Ruben Garcia. And if you scan that, uh, little barcode right there, it'll tell you a lot about your chef, as well as the ingredients and things like that. Now, you can either microwave the meals or you can heat up the meals. I gotta get to eating because I don't like my food to get cold. If y'all want to enjoy y'all food here for literally a third of the cost of what you would pay in a restaurant or in a grocery store, please visit cookunity.com. Use the coupon code for 50% off your first order. All right, now go ahead and get out of my kitchen.

I'm about to get down. It's been both? Positive?

Because the Christians, they're happy about it. But then the other community is like, you know, it's like a gang.

You're a traitor.

I know.

It's like you're a gang. You're a traitor.

They ganged up on me. I know.

It's like you're a traitor.

How dare you?

You know, death before dishonor. And I'm like, this is my personal life. Imagine. I just feel bad for the people that don't have the courage that I have because I have reached a lot of people.

Okay.

And a lot of trans people have reached out and said how they would want, how they, you know, also think that they went on the trans journey for the wrong reasons as well. And, you know, they've been thinking about it, but they feel stuck. They feel like they've done too much, you know, because you start to look like a certain thing. And when you've lived like that longer in your adult life than you have as a male, I mean, you can feel stuck. It's probably why I'm just now starting the journey the end of last year, 'cause you start to feel like now you gotta undo everything and you know, you got your own battles within yourself that you gotta fight and then you gotta come and fight the Power Rangers too. You know what I'm saying?

She said Power Rangers, listen.

That's how they trying to do that.

I didn't say it, I didn't say it, 'cause you know they gonna be like, "She only doing this 'cause she in the trans community." That is not true.

That's how they act. One of my best friends and my mentors is trans. He, she, we, the great Flame Monroe, okay? Put some respect on the name, all right?

Flame hit me up too, Flame was like, I'm proud of you for telling your truth and going on your journey. And she said, I'm gonna tell you in advance, F them folks. So Flame already kind of already knows how the community is.

Yeah, yeah.

And listen, I got a lot of members of the LGBTQ that don't claim that they're members of the LGBTQ. It's like, that's the dark side over there.

They ain't trying to get over there with all them politics and everything.

They like, I just do what I do.

I just do what I do.

I see that.

And I support both. It doesn't matter what side you on, just as long as you respect the people. You ain't trying to put your hands on people.

You know, because there was a big falling out about that.

But we're here for you because, and I'm glad that you brought your mama because, you know, a lot of times, very, very close colleague of mine, whose son is now trans. Okay. She is a public figure. I don't want to say her name now because she may be like, don't bring me in this, or she may bring me into it. But she's been ridiculed for not supporting her trans son. Okay. And she's a big Trump supporter. She's a black woman. I don't know if you can guess. Yeah. Oh, no, no, no, no, not Candace Owens. But neither here nor there. And she's been very vocal about, you know, the support for you. She was in the comments.

Oh, she was?

Came out, she was like, this is what I'm talking about. She was supporting you as well. And so I just want to start from the beginning. Okay, so you were born Azario.

I was born a male. Yes. I was originally named after my father, but me and my father have had a And then I had a nickname given to me by best friends in high school named Azario. And then probably when I was like 19, my mom was like, I wish I would have gave you your own name. And so I was actually in the process of getting ready to change it legally. And then I became trans. Yeah, my father, my father, I have the kind of father that'll sue me and everything. So he'll sue you. I mean, it is like we just have a very He petty. Disrespectful, violent relationship.

Oh my God.

Put it like that. Yeah.

Okay.

So, yeah, I was born male. I was 19 when I first started meeting gays and trans people.

And that's late.

Yeah, because I had a very strict upbringing.

I am a Christian, and I was one of those I would say poisoned by religion, Christian, meaning that whatever the pastor said, that's what I accepted. Um, so I didn't even know that my son was, um, not liking females. I, I just didn't see it. I didn't know.

Okay.

And at the end of the day, um, it was, um, you said it was late. It was probably late because I was always like, where are you going? You know, just on, on top of everything.

Too strict.

Yeah, I was definitely on top of everything and the strictness probably changed junior year in high school.

If you want to say it.

Compared to what it was.

I guess compared to what it was. I guess you can say that.

You hadn't got your own car.

But it wasn't like how most high school people were.

Yeah, you hadn't got your own vehicle and you were able to like go some places where before it was like, no.

So there was no dating allowed, period. It didn't matter if it was male or definitely, I mean, female or definitely exclusively male. That's how strict you were.

I don't think so much we really talked about that because, um, it wasn't like he came home and said, hey, I want to take somebody out. It wasn't like that. I think, I think at some point in time he found his way of living and I guess being curious and, and wanting and interesting. And I wasn't the type of mother nor Christian that he could come and talk to at that time. Yeah, I hate that. That was the part. But I wasn't there at the time because being raised in a certain religion, I have a righteous life with God now, not religion, but being raised in a certain religion, people going to hell for everything. And you definitely was going to hell if you're going to be a homosexual. So he wasn't able to come and talk to me about it.

Okay.

And thank God we talk about everything now.

So I could tell y'all so close. He came in, he was putting the mascara on your eyelashes, and y'all just gazing in each other's eyes.

And truly thank God.

But there was a time where we probably could have prevented some gayness. Remember Lauren in middle school?

Oh, definitely.

How your second husband was so racist.

Yeah, definitely.

So I was in middle school. So I was in middle school. So my mom, she married her second husband. My parents divorced when I was 9.

Okay.

My mom remarried. Both of my parents remarried monsters. Um, so continue. Yeah, my stepmother probably won't see this.

Demon, that's him.

Um, he was— she calls him the devil. Um, but he, he, he— what made it worse was he hid behind the mask of ministry, so that made it like twice as, you know, twice as bad. It was like Ike Turner but I'm saved, you know what I'm saying? At least with Ike Turner, you knew he was a monster.

Absolutely.

This man was like, no, I'm not a monster, I'm a minister, you know, but I do all the monster things. And I was talking to this girl, because I went to, I went to schools where I was like, where Black people were the minority, you know, so I was in classes. Yeah, I went to white schools. Sometimes I'd be the only Black, or it'd be two of us in their honors classes, that kind of stuff.

So white kids be into some shit.

And when you're surrounded by them, I mean, you know, who are you going to end up dating? White people, because that's all you're surrounded by. So I was talking to this white girl, and she called the house one day, and her husband Her second husband was a racist, a male chauvinist, everything in the book. Yeah, yeah. Like, would go to jail just for like a traffic stop because he would call them all kinds of crackers and get in their face. And like, he was like big-time racist. But it was taught to him by his family. And so once he found out about Lauren, like, he actually like, you know, terrorized me and beat me because I was talking to a white girl. And so I think that pushed me further to men, because it's like, if I can't even date who I want to date, and then, you know, gay people are very, you know, they know how to choose and charm and, you know, lure you in, you know, especially in Florida.

So you felt like you were definitely a target because of the, I guess, some of the abuse that was going on in the house?

Oh, that definitely happened.

It pushed you into the arms of people?

Definitely, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So how was your, I guess, your childhood, the base of your childhood? Was it just pretty, you go to school, go to church, come home?

I mean, it was balanced when my parents were together because my mom believed in going to church and all that. My dad believed in having a good time and going out. He was a DJ on the weekend. So I would say I had a balance when they were together.

But I did take y'all places.

We went to church a lot, but we still went to places. Yeah, we did. A little bit like Disney World and movies and stuff. It's a good thing. But yeah.

That was actually pretty good because a lot of Black families coming up in that time couldn't even really afford to go to Disney World.

Yeah, we were going, we lived in Orlando, so we were going on a regular basis and we would get a lot of free tickets as well.

Oh yeah, I remember now, to take them timeshare trips and the tours.

Yeah, and people worked there at the time, they were given, um, a lot of people we knew worked there, they were given like, um, 12 tickets a year. You would get 3 tickets a season and then if you had your own badge, you didn't need it. So we would get a lot of free tickets, okay, from people in the church. And then I would win a lot of contests because I was smart, so So it was pretty balanced coming up.

You didn't— so sexuality wasn't a conversation. You know how people will say, oh, I found out I was gay when I was 5, or, you know, I started liking girls, or a girl saying I like a girl when I was 3, or maybe I was touched by my aunt and that's what made me like women, or, you know, things like that.

Anything touching in our family, my mom has 9 sisters and 2 brothers, So I have probably, what, 29 first cousins.

Okay. So it was a cousin on cousin?

Yeah, it was a cousin thing, but I don't think it played a role in that decision.

Was it a male cousin?

Yeah.

And you really don't think it played a role?

I mean, it may have. I don't know. I was young. I was a child.

How young were you?

You know, you like, they force you to play hunch or whatever. You know, things happen.

Yeah.

Maybe like 5, 6, 7. My mom always was a workaholic, so. You know, you watch my kids, you watch my kids, you watch my kids, you know. So yeah.

So was there any sexual acts that was performed?

No, not like that. Like play, play, hunch, hunch, that kind of stuff.

Okay.

It wasn't like—

no. And it was the boys?

Yeah, a boy.

A boy.

Yeah.

Okay. Okay.

But we had older cousins too that, you know, you know, once you get older, you know, the secrets of the family start coming out. So it's not like homosexuality is like a big like I was like the first or something like that. You know, there's even, you know, a story or two about my mom's father, who was a preacher, you know. And my pastor talks to us about how you can inherit things and you can inherit the spirit of homosexuality. And I had never heard anybody put it like that before my pastor put it like that.

So your grandfather was gay? Or bisexual?

Bi, I would say bi.

You know, your sister's gonna see this, right? Oh, okay.

She's asking the hard, tough questions.

And he was a preacher, so it was like, you know what I'm saying?

So how did you guys find out that— I mean, obviously he's your dad.

I mean, my oldest sister.

Okay.

Yeah, my— one of my aunts on Mad Day, baby, she got the wine.

Is she me?

We don't find out a lot of stuff from her.

I love it, I love it.

I think she holds it in because like, you know, my mom takes— took it well, you know. But some sisters like, oh no, don't say that about daddy.

Oh Jesus.

Like she got something, they can't take it.

I was opposite with the mom though. Oh yeah, you can see your mom. My mother, not me not being able to just see anything. And eventually, um, yeah, I realized that I love her unconditionally, but I've got out of la-la land and went to reality land.

Okay.

So that came up, you know, like how, you know, people in the family were trying to say, oh, you know, this one's gay, that one's gay. And then my mom's oldest sister one day was like, well, you know what, they got it honestly. Let me tell you the story about how our daddy was going in the woods with the white man. And then, yeah.

Oh, wow.

Okay.

Preaching on Sunday. So. I think some things you can't inherit. I think, and I think some things are just generational curses. Yeah, and you got to pray it off, you got to fast, but not talking about it doesn't help, you know, because we find this stuff out in our 30s where, you know, me and— I'm leave them nameless— me and probably about 6, 7 cousins that, uh, have had homosexuality issues probably feel like, you know, alone in this. Like, where does this come from? And then different aunts It's been revealed too that they, you know, carpet-munched a little bit, or got theirs munched.

Look, I don't want to cause no family problems when y'all get back to the house.

It is what it is. Listen, we're not the scary type.

So when did you find out that you, I guess, had a liking for men?

At what age?

I mean, I would say boys. Boys, yeah, it started.

Yeah, I was gonna say like 18. Yeah, I was gonna say like probably like, um, the puberty days, you know, high school. High school, you know, you start to develop erections and, you know, you be in class with different boys and, um, uh, you start experimenting, you know. There was this one guy stayed in my neighborhood and he was a flamboyant flamboyantly gay person. So I know we never could camouflage like we was homies and then mess around like that. But we would— I end up at his house one day, we snuck around, I snuck into his house one day, and he jacked me off and I enjoyed it. And I think that's probably where it started. And then it went from that to a little head. And then, yeah.

So your first experience sexually was with a man? Um, what, a boy?

Yeah. Uh, as far as like penetration, head, something like that. Yeah, it was. Yes. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was with a girl later.

You hadn't ever— um, you might have kissed a girl.

Yeah, I had kissed him. I had kissed and fingered a girl.

Yeah, very—

in middle school.

Okay.

But because of my strict— I couldn't, you know. Yeah.

Okay.

Um, yeah, I didn't have sex with a girl until I was like in my 20s. a stud, you know. And I was like, oh wow, I've been missing this for a long time. I didn't know that felt like that. He said like early, probably like 20 years old. Yeah.

So it was better than being with a man?

Oh, it's much better. I mean, it self-lubricates. I mean, it's totally different. I mean, if we're being honest, I'm gonna get dragged.

They're gonna say I set you up to say this.

Well, I have I have friends who are, I wouldn't even say friends, but colleagues that do, they're porn stars.

Okay, okay, that's popular.

And they're gay, they consider themselves gay porn stars, but they won't have sex with men, they have sex with trans, I think it's a trans man? Yeah.

Okay, trans men, women that transition to men, but still got a vajayjay.

Yeah, they said that they don't like I've had sex with trans men too.

Yeah. They still have that lady part.

Yeah.

You know, and there's nothing like that. So I understand.

Okay.

All right.

So look at your mama like—

Vagina is not better than vagina.

This is something I haven't ever heard. We talk about everything, but—

Yeah. Vagina is not better than vagina. Trust me.

You just said— I'm telling you, you are not the first person that has said that on my show.

I'm telling you.

And they said that The vagina is just, you know, it's a muscle. God's gift.

It is.

She's enjoying this interview more than I am.

I'm enjoying it because, listen, this is stuff that I talk about, okay?

And I tell, especially a lot of the newfound trans women, and they want to feel like they can fight with women, and I'm like, let me tell you something.

I never supported that. I mean, because it's not the same. The muscle, like, you're— When you get upset, I can say this because I lived in a trans body for 16 years. When you get upset, your naturalness comes back in a fight. I don't think it's ever fair for a trans woman to fight a real woman. If a trans woman touches my mother, I'm smiling in my mugshot because she getting shot. And that's just in real life. My brother would do the same thing, would he not? If a trans woman jumped on our mother, You know, we smiling in that mugshot.

That's man to man.

Like, that's like, you can't. Yeah, that, I think that's when it goes too far. That's when it goes way too far. And it's one thing I respect about certain ones like TS Madison or like Flame Monroe. They talk, they say that, you know, that's their, they have, they share the same sentiments. A trans woman cannot, um, should not be able to fight a biologically born woman and nothing happens. Like, that's just messed up.

Yeah, I told him, I said, keep playing with me, I'm gonna have Ron DeSantos pass that law that it's a hate crime. You know, because like it is a hate crime for anybody to put their hands on a trans person across the board. But I'm like, I feel like, you know, biological women, it's like, where's our protection? Because now they feel that they're women and they don't want to fight men because they've taken hormones and their muscles are breaking down so they can't stand up to a man. So now they feel like they can fight us. And I'm like, no, fight each other.

Yeah.

Fight each other.

However, also biological women, don't go around slapping men, women, trans, or nobody and expect nobody to do nothing to you. But if you're in an argument with a trans person and they try to buck up at you, then yeah, that ain't cool.

And you know, I've been bucked at a few times because I refuse to— if I see you acting aggressively towards a woman, right? And it happened to me before. And I said, you know, I saw a trans woman beating up on a biological woman. The lady left unconscious.

That ain't cool.

Right. And I said, you got a whole dick between your legs. Fighting a woman. Oh my God, you would have thought a demon came out of them.

What you say? I'm a woman. No, you're not. I'm sorry, like, the respect— I'm not gonna respect you when I just saw you beat the shit out of a woman. No, I don't care who you are at this point.

You could be standing there as a full man, I would have felt the same way.

You see what I'm saying? Like, now if it's woman on woman, that's different.

It's on trans, man on man.

Hey, have at it.

Have That's why the UFC got rules on who you can fight in the weight class, male versus— stop that.

So, you know, that's, that's a whole nother debate there. But as far as you, 16 years as a trans woman?

I lived, I lived 16 years, um, and I saw you last year.

I saw your videos. I was like, you, you was really trans trans.

Yeah, I was, I was, I was deep in that thing.

Yeah, you had acid, you, you, you had it all.

Yeah, reversed. But, um, The mind starts in the mind and the heart. And so I thank God for renewing those two areas first. The body just to catch up as I work out more, get to a certain testosterone level.

And okay, are you taking testosterone to help?

My doctor just, um, my doctor just approved it this week because the crazy part is when you want to be trans, they don't have all those prerequisites and psychiatry appointments and all that. But when I told him I wanted to detransition, I wanted some testosterone, now I got all these rules and I'm like, the double standard.

Now they say they do, they say that, you know, because I, you know, politically and as a parent, the fact that my child can walk into any facility and get hormones and just start transitioning without me being a part of those conversations, I'm fucking livid.

Is that how it is?

That's how it is. As a—

for children?

For children, yes. They are now giving children hormones, they can start transitioning. They've removed children out of households because parents don't support the transition. And so now they're moving kids out of the house into these facilities where I guess they could be trans or they could be LGBTQ and be free even if their parents don't agree. And they can lose—

parents can lose rights to their children.

So the fact that you're saying that they're, you know, you could walk and get anything you wanted, but just trying to reverse it, now they want to say you crazy.

I'm just going back to what God made me. I'm not trying kind of, you know. But yeah, um, he didn't say I was crazy, but he made me go through 2 rounds of, uh, psych evaluation. I'm like, I've been going to this clinic since 2010. It wasn't that way when I came in. You asked me what I was taking. You want to keep the continuity of care. So I think that, um, they need to look into that, you know.

Do you think it's an underlying— just another way, just like the Black-on-Black crime, you know, and, you know, you got gangs being pit against other gangs and Black men are being killed— this is another way to an underlying way that creates a silent genocide amongst Black men and decreases the Black population the more that we're confused and we're transitioning because less kids and things are being born?

I think stuff like that is always at the top of the list, whether it is my detransition and having to go through psychiatry, or like you said, Keeping a lot of our Black men in prison, making sure they can't do certain things like, you know, they can't be in the house if the woman gets any government assistance, you know. I think the attack on the Black family is always prevalent in America, spelled with 3 Ks.

You gonna go a long way. Listen, I live for it. You gonna go a long way.

Always.

I think there was a reason why God did this.

The lesson, you know, sometimes they just get lost.

They never come back. He back. And I say this even with the LGBTQ community. I don't care if you like women and you are— you can't stand dick. You want to have a baby, do not go to a sperm donor. Go to your fellow LGBTQ Black member and have a baby with that member so that we can keep rising in numbers. Because otherwise, the Black man is going extinct.

And I agree. When I was trans, like, I started thinking about having children. My brother had his first child. 2019. Because like I said, I have— because she has 9 sisters and 2 brothers, I have 29-something cousins. And I love most of them.

You want a big family.

But I thought about that. I was like, you know, I'm the only sibling, I'm the older sibling. I realized I was 21 how selfish that decision was, you know, especially after I had some of the real thing in my 20s. I was like, you know, you could have had a child by now and I remember I was talking to, they call them studs, lesbians that present masculine. She and I were talking about having a child when I was like 27 and she was like 20, and then she moved back to Florida and it never happened. But after my brother had children, I started thinking about having children. I started talking to like my closest friends about it, and I was like, you know, when you are trans and you're taking hormones, you know, you're shooting blanks, you know, your sperm count is so low, like you got to get out, like a doctor will tell you, you got to get off hormones for like 8 months to a year, and most don't because then the manly features start to come back. And so I was like telling one of my friends, I think I'm about to get off hormones for like a year, year and a half to get my sperm count up. He's like, no, because you're gonna look like Mike Tyson with a wig on. I said, well, I don't care. I said, because I want to give my niece and nephew, my nephew now, um, children. And he was like, uh, cousins. He was like, you know, you can adopt. I say, we got strong genes in our family. I want to pass that down. Like, we all look like each other.

Y'all look good.

I ain't gonna lie, I'm looking at mom like, shit.

I was like, what do y'all use on the skin?

Oh yes, yes, yes, we'll talk about that. But I didn't want to— I wanted our DNA. I wanted our, you know, we look alike. Me and my mom, my brother, my niece, my nephew, people can tell that we're all family. And that's when I started, I think, that's probably when I first started thinking about, you know, we went too far. You know, we went too far being trans. We did it for the wrong reasons. You know, you got to start having those self-talks with yourself.

So how did you— okay, so you, you're gay. Okay, you're still—

are you still gay?

No, no, no, no, no. I have, um, not been involved with men in a very long time.

Okay.

And that's when I think— because she used to laugh at it— like last year I started being aggravated when men would try to talk to me. Well, probably 2022 first.

It wasn't last year.

Yeah, like 2022, you know, because like you said, I was built like I was built, you know. I started being aggravated. It went from a thrill to like, oh, hell no, let me tell him I'm trans. It went from that to like, hey bro, I'm a man, leave me alone, you know? And she would start laughing because we thought it was a phase because I just was aggravated with— I had got into my introvert state where I didn't want to go nowhere. I didn't want to be around nobody. I just want to be at home with her or by myself. And so I think that started like the thought process because it wasn't a phase, it stuck. Like I started really being aggravated with men, period. And then I met another stud, masculine-presenting lesbian, and we started getting close fast, and I like the way that felt. And then this whole time I had got off hormones, and I loved the way that felt. I had never got off hormones for over like maybe like 4 or 5, 3 to 4 months at the most, but this time I had been off hormones for like a year and a half. And so the natural manly ways and thought process and, you know, the way a man thinks started to come back. And then that's when I was like, I think I'm done. And I was like, well, Lord, if we done with men because we aggravated with them and we done with hormones, then that must mean we detransitioning, you know. And slowly but surely I started to commit to that mentally. And then I went to church and it just changed everything.

But what I'm just saying, like, so your first sexual experience was with a, with another boy? And so you kept having sexual experiences with boys until you got into your 20s?

Yes.

Okay. And so how did the trans conversations come up?

All right, why knows? You guys know that I am busy as hell, okay?

And so when I hit a lick, you hit a lick too.

You guys know that we have businesses, we got kids, we got all sorts of things going on, and we just don't have time to cook a lot. And a lot of times we don't have time to eat out because it's either too expensive, and we also don't have time to grocery shop because it's too expensive as well. But I'm gonna tell you something, when I found CookUnity, all of that changed. Not only are they offering me gourmet meals made by real chefs, okay, that you can select from— they got hundreds of meals for all sorts of diets, whether you vegan, vegetarian, paleo, gluten-free, dairy vegan, gluten-free, whatever it is that you have. They have fresh, never frozen meals ready to prepare that comes right to your door in this container here so that you can prepare it for your family, okay? It saves time, money, and everything like that. So me and Shaq have literally worked 14 hours today. We don't have time to go sit in no restaurant because I'm actually working right now while I'm doing it. And so while I'm working, I'm actually eating. So my 2 meals that I chose today are the stir-fried coriander lemongrass shrimp made by Chef Abe Moise. And if you scan that little barcode, you can learn more about your meal there as well. The reason I chose this particular meal is because it has 24 grams of protein, all right? And you guys know that I'm always in the gym trying to build my little booty, trying to build my little legs, trying to lose fat and things like that. And then of course, I got to keep my husband's protein count up 2 as well. And so today, Sheck is going to be having the Mediterranean salmon and quinoa bowl. He loves salmon, and of course salmon is really loaded with protein. This has 40 grams, and it's made by Chef Ruben Garcia. And if you scan that, uh, little barcode right there, it'll tell you a lot about your chef as well as the ingredients and things like that. Now you can either microwave the meals or you can heat up the meals. I gotta get to eating 'cause I don't like my food to get cold. If y'all wanna enjoy y'all food here for literally a third of the cost of what you would pay in a restaurant or in a grocery store, please visit cookunity.com. Use the coupon code for 50% off your first order, all right? Now go ahead and get outta my kitchen.

I'm about to get down.

With who? With men?

Yeah, like, no, how did you say, okay, I wanna go from being a boy to a trans woman?

Oh.

Yeah, like—

I think I wanna just, I know you asked, No question, but I just want to say something. I think with that, it was two different things and you can share. But the devil I was with, devil number one, was very abusive in every type of way.

Is that—

and I really—

no, no, no, no, no, no.

It wasn't physical dad. It was my ex-second husband.

Okay.

And unfortunately, that had a lot to do with— I had said to Azario, I believe that you went extreme from living a homosexual life to transitioning to a transgender because of the abuse. And then I think also he saw different transgenders at some point in time and it looked like a glamorous life.

Yeah, the grass looked—

and that's why between the two reasons, I think that's what happened.

Because you're like, this, like, it's changed so much now. But this is like 2008, 2009, where, um, I let a trans person come live with me. I was 19, I was in college. And, um, the, like she said, the glamorous side of it, like the attention they would get from the gay community, because at the time they were held in high regard. And now the gay men think they're in competition with them, but that's another story for another day. But the privilege they would give them, "Oh, don't worry about it, I got you." They would give them money, they would buy them gowns, they would do it because a lot of them were check writers. That was a big stunt at the time. They were writing fraudulent checks. And the grass looked green. And I felt like at the time, I knew my mom didn't accept the gay thing. So I was like, "Well, if she don't accept that, I might as well go all the way." Dad had a lot to do with it too. And my childhood, I still was very resentful that she allowed her second husband to terrorize me under the, well, you know, the church says let a man raise, you know. So yeah, I definitely was definitely still resentful. So, um, do you feel like she didn't love you anyway? Well, it's not that. I felt like, how could you? My mom used to be like my biggest protector, and then she married this man and he tricked her into, you know, I'm now going to raise the boys because I'm the man of the house. And even though they're not my children, and, you know, they're going to call me Dad. I'm like, I never want to call this man Dad. It was like I, I didn't recognize who my mom was while she was with him. It's like watching somebody change, like, overnight, you know what I'm saying? And he used that religion thing to his advantage because he knew that's— that was important to her at the time, the Pentecostal religion. And so I think when I left her house to go to college, because I left to go to USF, which is like an hour away, I think I just got buck wild. And I think I just got worse and worse and worse and wilder and wilder and wilder.

Were you promiscuous in college and things?

To be honest, I always kind of liked spinning the block with the same kind of person. So I never had a lot of the same people, a lot of one-night stands. I kind of have one-night stand, if it's bad, I never call you again. If it's good, I'll see you next week, you know?

Okay.

So I was kind of like that. Um, I think I became trans— I mean, I think I became promiscuous after I became trans because so many men, they be at you, you know, they be at you so much when you look like how I looked, you know? Um, I think that's where the promiscuity started. Plus the, um, being trans introduced me to cocaine as well, but I had already seen it as a gay guy. But, um, It was heavy in the trans community. I was like, wow, you know, everybody was— if they was trans, they was doing coke at the time in Florida. So, um, yeah, and then I started doing it, um, in New York with a trick when I was escorting. Like, that's like 2010 maybe, and then I was on that for a long time.

And that's a lot of— that's a lot of times we like to kind of skip over that. And, you know, the trans community is hell-bent on, I was born like this, it's This is my life. This is my pronoun, but it's the things that they have to do to maintain it. They don't want to talk about that because they can't get regular jobs. They're discriminated upon, you know, and so they do resort to prostitution and sex work. And it's like, do you truly want to live your life, you know, first of all, being someone who is not accepted and then add that on top of it? And then you expect us to be like, okay, you know what? We love you for who you are. And it's like, are you truly who you are? Do you really want to live like this?

I told somebody that one time. I was like, you know, we got into an argument, so I probably used it against them. I was like, didn't nobody— I was like, when you was, um, I said, when you was growing up and we had them projects in 6th grade, 7th grade, they had career day. Didn't nobody say, I want to grow up and be a sex worker? Like, you know, this is— because they were trying to basically beat down my throat, like, trans and sex work just go hand in hand. You have to. I was like, no sweetheart, you learned that, you know, as you came out. Nobody wanted—

uh, it's easy money too.

Yeah, I sucked at it. That's why I only did it for like 2 or 3 years. I sucked that. I would get the money, I would promise you everything on the phone. I would get the money and tell you, baby, you better jack off and get up out of here. I don't know what you got going on. Like, you know, because it's the one— what you gonna do, call the police? It's the one— it's the one thing, it's the one transaction where I guarantee you your customer not calling the police. And I would use that to my advantage. And then most of the time—

So you like, I ain't even gotta do no work.

Yeah, because they're like, baby, baby, get it hard. I'd be like, I can't get hard for people like you. I'm sorry, I'm not attracted to you. Because that's what most people come for when it comes to trans sex workers. They come for the meats, you know, no Arby's included.

But why trans though? Like, I mean, why not just sleep with a man?

Because then that makes them feel gay. It's the psychology of, you know, you gotta realize most men are visual. Most men are visual, visually appeased first. So in their heads, because I used to ask that question all the time, and then my friends are like, shut up, you messing up the money. I'm like, so what makes you know, you come for the meat, but you won't mess with my friend, and he's a man? They're like, well, because that makes me feel gay. But you, you have a woman's face, you have a woman's breasts, you have soft skin, you know, you're, you know, like, so that, that's, it's, it's, it's their own psychology. it's that customer or that man who's attracted to trans. It's their own psychology. There's men who you cannot convince them that they're gay because they're like, no, that's a woman, she just happens to have extra stuff. So, you know, I tell people this—

people, essentially, a man is not gay though, because— correct, because if it's taking a woman to physically stimulate you, then maybe the conversation needs to be had with the partner that he's with that these 'the type of things that I need in order to come.' And so did a lot of them ask you to, you know, the fuck 'em from the back?

Did they want prostate massages? I mean, I know, because a lot of them are hard.

It's hard to have that conversation with a woman, like, 'I want you to fuck me in my ass.' But that's changing. I was gonna say, that conversation, I would never do it. Yes.

I mean, somebody was talking to me and talking about— I said, 'No, no, no,' because I, I had never heard it. And I went She asked me, I was like, oh yeah, that's popular now.

I was like, that's changing a lot.

What is, what is, um, how did I say it? Um, I said, what is having sex with, with the butt?

What do they call it? He called it something else, rimming or something. What he called it, something.

He said he eat the butt. That's what he said. He didn't say eat the butt. I don't use profanity, so he didn't say eat the butt. He said, uh, he said, let me just let you know that, um, I'm crazy about you. I want to be with you. And we had never did anything. We just conversating on telephone. So anyway, so he's like, I want to eat your ass. I was like, oh no.

So conservative.

So then when I said it to Azaria, Azaria said, mom, it's not but. I said, well, you know I don't use profanity. And I was like, ooh.

She said, do you do it? I said, all the time. She's like, ah.

And that was the first time I heard it.

I said, I'm sure your son does too.

Okay.

Yeah.

So anyway, it is definitely changing. But I do want to say one thing that you all just talked about. You were saying that— I think you just said that, um, when people are escorting, um, sometimes it's like it's easy money. I would say that just because the person is trans and it doesn't necessarily mean that they want to escort, right? What I truly believe, and you can interject whenever you get ready, is that when they are changing and becoming a transgender, so many people don't, just don't treat them good. And even when they start working on a job, I mean, like, even when I see it myself and some people, you know, look at them and they have these ugly faces and they're trying to send them to hell and we all got to answer to God for ourselves and they're trying to send them to hell and they harbor people and you got street, you can have straight people treat them Females treat them like that. Men, males treat them like that. And then, you know, the Christian, some of the Christians treat them like that. So when you look at it from that perspective, you as yourself don't want to go to a job and somebody just mistreating you because the way you look. So they a lot of times experience that. Then they come, people talking, they know people talking because all of a sudden it gets silent. It's kind of like You end up on a job and basically being isolated, and sometimes fire, you can share.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, that's how I end up escorting. Um, but I think you basically go from— because you see other trans people, first of all, making faster money than you, and you're on a job and, you know, it's always something. And I think you start to pick up a mantra of let me go where I'm celebrated versus where I'm tolerated. And it's easy to do that, not just as a trans person, as a gay person, as a white person, as a Black person, like anything where you go and because of your difference you're mistreated and you see other people just like you go somewhere else and they're, you know, getting money. At the time, the trans had sugar daddies, like it was, you know, it was, it was, it was a lavish lifestyle. So I think that's how you end up there. And then Once you get a piece of that money, you're like, I was making what every 2 weeks? Why even go back? Now it's, uh, OnlyFans. Not everybody on OnlyFans, so they don't even got to see the guys, you know. They could just—

people just come watch them.

And yeah, but maybe share with when you were transitioning how sometimes when I first started transitioning, yeah, I was fired going to college.

I was in, um, Tampa, and Tampa is like a call center heaven. You can get— it's so many call center jobs there, like, yeah. And so I interviewed, 'cause I was like 6 months in, I interviewed over the phone as, with my boy name, because that's what was all over my IDs anyway. And then I got the job and my transgender, I guess mentor, gay mother at the time was like, I think you should take this serious. I said, I'm gonna go to work for like a year, save all the money and then start transitioning. She said, well, if you serious, peer pressure, she said, if you serious, You should go to work your first day as a girl in drag and then get the insurance, make the insurance pay for different stuff after. She talked me into that. So 2 weeks later, you know, I show up as a trans, you know, with the hair and the clothes and all that. And the first day that when they called my name and I said, you know, here, present, whatever, everybody was looking like— because that wasn't popular at the time, trans getting jobs. Trans was mostly escorting or doing drag or writing checks. And I was there for like 6 months, but it was always something because I was like the first trans person. Some of the men that was starting to work there, because it was like a training every month, they didn't know. And then they would go from not knowing, and then one day homeboy was a clown and be like, you know, you was talking to— then it'd be a big hoopla. So it caused like all this, all this ruckus at, um, Capital One Auto Finance. It's the company. And yeah, um, and so at the call center, it became like I became like the call center celebrity. Not trying to be, just by default. Like, everybody had to see the trans person on the 4th floor because it was 4 floors of agents. Everybody had to go see the trans person on the 4th floor. It became this thing. And my manager literally, like, I went from like a verbal to a written to a final to terminated like that. And then when I left, everybody was like, that's messed up. Like, y'all did that on purpose because of all the attention that she was getting and bringing and all this and all that. And then they They end up admitting it later, but I think at the time, maybe they still is, Florida is a right to hire, right to fire state. So the lawyer that I had got was like, we can't, he looked into it extensively. And even though we had testimonials from the people that worked there, there was nothing we really could do to sue. But that broke my heart. And I was like, oh yeah, I'm done with corporate America. We're going to sell a little light lane today. And I started doing that. And yeah, it started going to New York. Phoenix and the cities that was popping, because it's like an underground, you know, yeah, secret society. You know what cities to go to to make your cash fast. And I went. Within 2 months, I had enough money for my first set of implants. Went to Mexico with somebody else's passport and came back home with implants on my neck.

Oh my God, Mom, like, what was going through your head?

Well, I want to start off with 2008. 2008, I went on a fast and I fasted for 8 days. And at that time when I was fasting, it was during the summer because I remember my youngest being out of school that summer. They're like almost 7 years apart. And so anyways, Azariah called me at the time and we were talking and I had said, I said, you know, I just went on an 8-day fast and And I remember the first night, it's like the devil was literally choking me. And at that time, I didn't drink water, didn't eat for 8 days. And so after I had just finished the 8 days, that next day Azaria called me, and I was telling Azaria about it. And 8 represents new beginnings. So I said, I had been praying and fasting. New beginnings for you. And my new beginnings was being delivered from the homosexual lifestyle and being what God had made him to be, which is a male. So, and he was like, well, what a coincidence, Mom. It was the opposite of what I had said. What a coincidence, Mom, I'm getting ready to start taking hormones and I'm getting ready to transition to a female and da da da. And so normally when I cry, I don't ever make noises. I'm literally standing outside with my telephone and tears are just rolling down my face. I don't even cry when I go to a funeral. Yeah, you don't, because I accept people came and we're leaving. We didn't come here to stay forever. And I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying, I'm crying. So eventually I went back in, tried to get my face together so my baby at the time wouldn't see that I had been crying. Shortly after We met in Orlando, and that's when, um, he didn't have the breasts or whatever, but was— started dressing like a female. So it wasn't long after that I saw, and I went to Orlando, and I just cried. And it was the whole weekend. I cried the whole weekend. And at the time, he was still resentful. I don't believe he ever hated me. Forget married to that. In that second marriage, I say marrying the devil in disguise, pretending to be a Christian and a minister and all of that. However, he said to me, that's why I didn't want you to come and see me, because I knew you would cry. I knew you would do that. And I don't recall, like, if that weekend, if we went and got something to eat, it's like we just got something to eat and I I was in the room just crying, crying, crying that whole weekend. And at the time I lived in West Palm, we met in Orlando. So by the grace of God, I got back home because I cried. I don't remember the exits. I cried the entire way back home. Only thing I remember is getting on the exit to go back home, and next thing I know, I was, I was home. But I cried the entire time. So I went through that, uh, for some years. I I fasted, I cried, I would lose 30 pounds. And, and at some point in time, God gave me peace. However, I was still doing quietly praying, and I was asking the Lord, let me see the transition. That's what I'm saying now. It took me a while to start saying Ashley. I would say my oldest Every time I would talk, I would just say, my oldest, my oldest, my oldest. And eventually, probably about a year, I started saying Ashley. So with other Christians that talked to me, they were like, well, I just don't, you know, understand. And because they started getting transgender on their job, and I said, sometimes it's not always— maybe you accept or you don't as a coworker, but respect the name.

Respect.

If that person is saying, hey, call me, they got hired as Ashley. Why are you trying to call that person something totally differently? Because you want somebody saying whatever they want to say to you. So give the person the respect, if not anything else. You say you're a Christian, so pray. You don't have to let everybody know you're praying. So at some point in time when, um, and even the family, even the class reunion, I said, God is going to be dealing with you. I kept saying that all last year. I said, God is going to be dealing with you. Yeah, this is not— I said, your class reunion is not just for you to go. Yeah. I said, you're gonna have encounters with God. God is just going to be dealing with you. And so when he finally said, Mom, I'm changing back, I wasn't surprised because God is still working miracles. A lot of times parents lose their children because they're like, I'm not accepting it, and God did this and God did it. We still have those conversations. We didn't get into altercations, but we still had those conversations from time to time. God made you a man, a boy, then you turn into a man. However, we didn't have nothing like this.

No time recently, like in the last few years.

It wasn't knockouts and we screaming and hollering or whatever. We didn't ever do that.

I didn't know she still prayed.

We didn't ever do that.

Because once she had started praying for our kids.

Quietly.

I didn't know because she had the kids. Praying. Ashley and, uh, Ashley and Ashley Shalani, my daughter. Ashley, my daughter, um, publicly for so long, especially after I got my real estate license 10 years ago. I didn't know she still was praying.

Definitely.

So I guess this is proof to parents that definitely you can respect your children publicly and still be praying privately, because I didn't know that.

She didn't want to lose you.

Yeah.

Oh, definitely. So this is what I would say, what you just said. For me, I love my children unconditionally. So at the end of the day, I do believe in God, and it's obvious he was believing in God too to talk the way he's talking about making the change. If you say you love your children, and this is what really came to me, how can you be a Christian and you say you love everybody else? Go to church, you do everything, you, you love everybody else But then when your child just chose to live that life like that and you don't want anything to do with that child, that isn't love. Yeah, that doesn't mean you're saying, oh, it's okay, and no, no, no, no, that's not what I'm saying. So the only difference I did when I moved to Atlanta— I moved to Atlanta May 17, 2020— I started going to drag shows. Yeah, my family found out about it, and of course Some of them said whatever they said. This is my child. I was there, went together. They always came to me hugging me.

Always.

Thank you for coming. I just love the way you support. My mom don't talk to me. My dad don't talk to me. It was my love. So yes, I was there and I was clapping and I was throwing my dollars. I made sure I had money. Yes, I did all of that. And when he said he wasn't going, I was like, why are we not going?

Yeah, once I said I was done with all that.

You know, no, but I'm saying like even when you had got booking and then you said you had something to do, I was like, can you kind of like try to work that part out and we still go? And it became your thing. I took not going better than he did because he'd been stopped in one or two, two or three times. The last time that he went, It was mom.

Yeah, tell me, can you please do the booking? I was like, mom, I'm so done.

Like, it was me because I went to those shows, I sold cakes and sweet potato pies, and then we stopped because he wasn't going in anymore. So at the end of the day, I accepted it. God was doing something more than 1 or 2 years because didn't Desiree want to go? They was begging. So yes. Please come to the show. Please, please, please.

So you were doing drag shows and everything?

Yes, yes, definitely. And, and I used to tell people, Beyoncé and I would do— don't have anything, anything on the dancing.

Yeah.

Yes, yes.

I grew up dancing, so, so all of that going to the floor and doing all of this, second nature for me.

Yeah. Well, Nicki Minaj can't dance.

Well, I'm just saying, all the ones that you all say can dance doesn't have anything. That's all I'm saying. I just said her because, you know, she's well known. But I'm just saying, all of that, go to the floor and shake, shake, shake and all of that. Definitely.

She saw them.

And it was straight. It was straight. It was females that only love men and was married would find him after the show. And say, can you show me how to shake my butt like that?

Can you start a class? Can you start a twerking class?

Definitely, definitely, yes. And what he would say to me, he says, well, I want to talk to your daughter, because it was always Ashley, Shalani, I want to talk to your daughter afterwards. So I would say, hey, we would have people that sometimes maybe went with their husband or their best friends, and they wanted to know how to shake, shake, shake. Yeah, dance, dance, dance.

That Florida water.

Yes, yes, definitely the most entertaining state in the United States of America.

Agreed.

Florida.

Agreed.

So, um, it's interesting to see how you went from just being, you know, just incredibly depressed—

oh, definitely—

to now you like her biggest fan at the time. Oh, and I'm saying her.

Oh yeah, yeah, you talking about Ashley?

Yeah. And so, um, and then everything that you grew to love is now changing again.

No, no, no, it— because it's still God, and I still wanted God to, to, to do the change in my child. So that didn't ever change. But most trends, even though I was there, they don't— watching everything, I still know— knew that God still worked miracles. And so for me, this was a miracle. 'Cause my mom even said to me one day, oh, well, when they go that far, they don't ever change back. I didn't ever believe that. God is still real. We all do what we want to do at the end of the day, but God is still God and God is still real.

And like I said, I didn't know. 2022 was when I started having the, you know, the thoughts became the decision. Like, I don't want to take hormones forever because I don't want to be a patient forever. I don't want to, um, I don't want to keep talking to men and having to text them that I'm trans. It was a domino effect. But 3 years ago, you couldn't have told me. Because 3 years ago, I still was doing shows. I still was going on dates with men, going on trips with men. So just 3 years ago.

Everything has changed.

And having sex with both, like my stud friend and my male friend, and back and forth. And sometimes they find out about each other. And, you know, and my girlfriend, she tried to— one night she was like, I don't like when people have sex with men because men on men sex stank. I was like, what? I was like, what you mean? She's like, I could smell it on you when you've been and had sex with a man. Oh damn, she used to be so mad. But we would have mad day, and that was her jab all the time.

Okay.

Yeah, it was hilarious though.

One thing I do want to say, that, um, at the end of the day I believe sin is sin. So this is the thing I started telling people. You can look at my oldest and say, oh, living a transgender life. But at the same time, if my youngest having more sex than married people, it's still sin.

Fornication. My pastor talk about fornication a lot.

Still sin.

He talks about the trans and gay thing too. That's how I knew I was at the right church when he finally brought that up one night. You remember the night he brought it up? He brought it up. He goes there, you know, and my pastor only 40, but he goes there. But he goes there on everything. He's not You're going to hell. He's like, no, he's like, you know, you gay, God still loves you. However, that was not God's original design for you. That was from the earth. God says be fruitful and multiply, and you can't do that with another man, young man. That's where he goes. You can't do that with another young woman, young woman. Because a lot of, um, my church has attracted— I, we done lost count— a lot of studs that are now reformed. And all they, all they was doing, like, it's a miracle to see them. It's a miracle to watch them. So they're no longer sleeping with women. They're no longer. They're not even— they're not even operating as masculine.

Yeah.

And like, we had to tell them— I just can't start coming to this church in November.

Yes.

And so to see their old pictures and their old videos and to have that conversation with them, like, they're like, this church, the conviction in this church. Um, and I mean, like, these are like— these are like, like, like, you have to see them like studs, like niggas, basically. And we're watching them get more feminine by the day and dressing differently, want men and So yeah, my pastor said, because of y'all, he's like, because of you, Azario, and y'all, he said, they're gonna call this the gay concentration church because so many of us are changing under that ministry. And he's like, well, I'm ready for it.

What's the name of the church?

Encounter Atlanta.

Okay.

Encounter Atlanta, Pastor Dr. Gabriel Powell. But like, what I'm saying, he doesn't just go there on gays. He goes on— he talks about fornication the most because it's a young church. Like, I'm probably one of the oldest people in the church. Church, and I ain't even 40 yet. You know, my pastor's one of the oldest people in the church. The average member is like 27. It's like 700 people, and all of us are young. So, you know, it's a lot of horniness in that church. He talks about it's a lot of horniness in that church. And, you know, we come and getting this word saying we need to be celibate and not fornicating, but at the church it's hard. You know, you look good, you look good too. Yeah, good to see you.

At the same time, the church have a combination of every— because it's a lot.

I mean, it says a lot of straight—

so, but I was gonna say it's a lot of straight females, and I just want to say for me.

Yes, mostly females.

I remember, um, one of the— and just picking back on what he said, I remember one service I was literally in tears because he was talking to straight females. He said, the reason why y'all don't have husbands, because you got a bad attitude. Yeah, you have degrees there, you have homes, you have cars, you have this, you have that, but you have a bad attitude. And as a man, a man gonna say, hey, hey, I like the booty, but hey, she got a bad attitude. Sure, that's fine, but shorty have a bad attitude. Say, what man want to be with you? And I was just sniffing because at the time, you know, I mean, I, I did get delivered from my bad attitude. I was like very passive and little Jesus, as he would always say, just took everything. And then it's like, oh, I stayed there for a short period of time. But when he made that statement, I was like, I need to change from how I respond, especially with a man that say he likes me. And when he made that statement, he said, y'all, a lot of y'all are single because of your attitude.

Yeah.

So he speaks on everything.

That's good.

But because myself and other people are gonna say that they got delivered under that ministry, that's what people gonna say. Oh, that church, that church is the problem. They judge gays and trans. No, but he's just not finna skip over it like a lot churches do. A lot of churches skip over that, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, they skip over that the Bible does say be fruitful and multiply.

So are you done now? Okay, so how long have you been transitioning back to male?

Um, well, I don't—

I'm not gonna say transitioning back to male because you've always been a man.

Just returning back to our true— returning back to who I was born to be. Yeah, that's how I look at it too. I actually hate the whole detransition transition words. So we, we, we on the same page there. Um, I've been on my journey of returning back to the way I was born, um, physically, October. So like, you know, like stop wearing the girl clothes, stop the wigs.

So this past October?

Yeah, this time October I had went— I had started already talking about it.

We are truly in the Age of Aquarius like they're saying.

And I had told my mom, I said, Mom, you know, because I didn't go to my 10-year class reunion because I was so high on drugs I looked like a toothpick, you know, 10 years ago. So when the 20-year came up, and I was popular at my white high school, so they were like, make sure you come. They've been, you know, begging me for a year. But summertime was when that whole thought process about returning started. I was like, you know, they've been dying to meet Ashley since we left, you know, since they found out about— and so I was like, Mom, I'mma go to my reunion as Ashley. But then I said, after that, that's it, probably. And I went as Ashley. And it's like, like she said, as I was going, a voice kept telling me, like, this is their first time meeting Ashley, but it's also their last time meeting Ashley, you know? And the whole time I was there, I didn't feel right. I kept telling her that, like, each night afterwards we'll have a recap. She's like, how did everything go? How did everybody receive you? Was they excited? I was like, yeah, they were, but I wasn't. And I didn't know why. It took me to start going to service to realize why. Because everybody was so excited, you know, once they saw me. Oh my God, you're so beautiful, even more beautiful in person. And I just, I didn't feel like you would have thought I would have felt waiting on that moment for 10 years. I've been waiting on this moment for 10 years, and I'm getting the feedback I knew I probably would get, plus some. Um, people begging to take pictures, but I didn't feel right. And I know now because they shouldn't have met Ashley, they should have met me.

Me.

They should have met, you know, who they knew in high school. And so now I get it. Wow. Yeah, now I get it. So yeah, it's been—

so are you— so you're done with men as well?

Yeah, I haven't touched a man in so long. I get aggravated with men now. It's actually like, you know— and she started laughing because there was one who I told about this, and he just, um, would not like take no for an answer. He's like, well, we could still just be friends then. We could just still be homies. Like, right? Like, he will not—

you're the one saying the homie. He wasn't trying to be on me.

I was like, well, he has no choice. He was like, well, if I ain't got no choice, then, you know, he's like, but I got to be in your life some kind of way.

So what was it about men that you just didn't like?

I don't know, maybe, maybe a lot of it was hormone-induced, because like I said, I got off hormones for a while first, and then, um I don't know, I just started— I just got tired, I guess. I'm like, I done did everything I want to do. I done had so— you know, I look like I look. I done had so many men. I done had them from the front, from the back, from the side, you know. I got— I did everything. And I think, um, I think at first I thought it was a phase. I was just like, you know, I'm just not feeling nobody right now. And then the desire never returned. The attraction just never returned. But I also haven't been off— I also haven't been off hormones this long either. It's been almost— it's been almost 13 months now, you know. So maybe old age, maybe getting off hormones, deliverance, I don't know.

I was gonna say God was dealing with you.

Yeah.

So you wanted—

I started telling her, she was like, you know, you haven't been— you haven't been going out and hanging out with guys and going on trips like, you know, because that was a part of my life. And I was like, yeah, I'm just over men right now. I just kept telling her that. And the right now just stayed. And now it's like natural.

Your stud girlfriend kept you there.

She popped up. She, she came back around too. And so, yeah, but she has— you know how women are, the mood swings.

And the men can be that way too.

Yeah, but no matter what, no matter how masculine and hard studs try to act, then that time come that those symptoms show up, put it like that. And hers is bizarre. Hers is like out there. So we always have our, okay, we're not talking right now stage. So yeah.

But remember the weekend that I went to Tallahassee? I got really, really dealt with you for like hours and hours.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Crying.

Yeah.

Dealing like, you know, and that had a lot to do with it.

Yeah, I read this book by Sarah Jakes Roberts called Don't Settle for Safe.

I love her.

Me too. And I got to the chapter number 7 about forgiveness. And that chapter, you got to, you got to be by yourself. I don't care who you are. I don't care how hard you are. That chapter, I don't care what kind of thug DMX style, that chapter will tear you up. That chapter will tear you up.

Shout the book out again. I love everything that Sarah J. Roberts did.

Sarah J. Roberts, Don't Settle for Safe.

Okay, Don't Settle for Safe.

Powerful.

Definitely going to get that book. And so it's safe to say that, you know, there is a God.

Yeah.

And if you pray hard enough, like I said, parents, we never stop praying.

Yeah, I see.

Ever. Like, I pray for my kids. I could be just sitting in, like, in my dressing room and just be praying for my kids. Just praying, because you just, you're not there. You're not there to protect them, especially when they're out the house. And it's like, my God, like, I got to go to sleep at night not knowing my child is in the room safe.

That's true.

You know, it's so, and when you have children one day, you better be praying now.

Yeah, I am. Trust me. Everything I done took my mom through, trust me.

You better be patient.

I have to be.

You have to be.

But I think it's absolutely amazing. And like I said, um, what type of, um, what type of heat are you getting from the LGBTQ community?

Oh, everything.

Now that you coming out and saying that.

Oh, they mad, man. So let me say this too, because they were like, um, they were— a lot of them feel like, you know, um, I'm getting a lot of heat But I don't really get on Facebook like that. A lot of it's coming from Facebook. Like, they going live, they making posts, they're reposting it. They're saying, they're trying to say, the only issue we got with it is, at first it was, you should have went and did that silently by yourself because now you got everybody thinking that we're all crazy and we all are confused. When just because you don't know who you want to be, We knew who we wanted to be. So I said, okay, cool. I said, so basically my personal journey is a testament for an entire community.

Yeah.

Then it was like, nah, but you know what, it ain't even that. It's that you said the devil tricked you and God brought you back. That's the issue we have with it. You put the devil in it.

So they don't believe in God or the devil?

For your own self. Now let's go there. These same folks, when they win a pageant Oh Lord, thank God, thank you. Like, you should see the post. God, thank you so much for helping me capture my dream. So it's just the hypocrisy. But one of my friends had to call me who's been in the lifestyle forever, and I love you so much, Christian Balenciaga. He's a makeup artist to the stars. He did the Housewives, the Married to Medicine people. You know, he's Iyanla's only makeup artist. He was like, you have to realize they're not just losing a trans person. He said they're losing one of their premiere Barbie doll real estate agent, you know, the relationship you have with your mom. He said half they mamas would never even call them nothing outside they boy name. He said they're like, you're one of like, you know what I'm saying, they want to be you. He's like, it's like, it's like the Black community losing like a Rihanna or, uh, you know, somebody like that, you know. He said they're not taking it well because they're not losing just one of the regular degular OnlyFans girls, they're losing one of the ones that made the community look good. That made the trans community look so good. He says, and you're doing it so fast. And he said, and you're unapologetic about it because I don't care who I have to lose, I just can't lose myself again. And so that's what it is too. And so their tactics of manipulation that usually work on the average person are not working on me. The whole way, you know what, make sure you stay over there because if you change your mind, try to come back, we're not welcoming you with open arms. I was like, I haven't seen most of y'all in over a year or two. What makes you think Like, who are you? Like, why do you think you're God? I don't need your acceptance, your approval, or your validation. That's the problem now. It goes too far. It goes too far. So I'm receiving a lot of heat. And it's crazy, it's like some of these hoes I done took care of. They done slept on my floor. I done bonded them out of jail. I done gave them free hormones. I done gave them, you know, free surgery advice. But the minute you tell people no, you know how it is, the minute you tell people no, everything you did it goes out the window. Yeah, so I wish them all well, um, but this is not an attack on the entire community. This is a personal journey back to the way God made me. Most trans people are gonna die trans people, and that's what's up. Most trans people, if they could not be trans, they may not even want to exist, and that's what's up. But I'm not about to silence my personal journey. I wasn't silent in the sin. I wasn't silent in the transition. I wasn't silent in the We were hanging out, doing all of that.

Come on now.

So if I wasn't silent coming in, why would I have to be silent going out? This is helping so many people, not just people that are thinking about detransitioning. I have people that's telling me, you know, um, I've been looking for a sign to, you know, transition out of my situation.

Like, so it's what you represent is that they're upset about?

Yes, yes. Because, um, he told me, he was like, you know, they making lives, they making 2 and 3 hour symposiums, they saying, you know, if you really cared about us Um, you would go do this silently so that you know what they're gonna say about you sitting with me. It's an election year. I mean, I don't care. She hates Trump.

They're about to go crazy. But I'm like, how could it?

And here's my issue, and I know you gave T.S. Madison props, and you know, your relationship with T.S. Madison is your relationship with T.S. Madison.

We don't have one. I just, um, gave her one of my— I gave her, um, the cleanser that we use the most. I gave her that twice. I've only met T.S. Madison one time, and that was doing that. So I don't have a relationship with her.

No, it's just that, you know, I, you know, T.S. Madison and I have had a history. It's never been an issue about her being a trans woman or anything. And I've done her shows.

Yeah, I said, weren't y'all cool first? Because I vaguely followed y'all a few years ago.

You know, my husband's been around, she's been around my kids.

So the moment I call her out, as she's used her platform to call me out, I call her out. Now you got a whole trans community that hate you saying that I'm transphobic. I'm like, but was I transphobic when I was working with you and helping you?

Why was I help—

why was I working with you?

A phobia is I don't want to be around you, keep that lifestyle away from me. T.S., I've never—

so now, now that the narrative is not going your way and I'm holding you to the fire, because I don't see you out here standing up for trans women. I see you out here standing up for when it's beneficial, when your check is being paid.

No, trans women should not be getting murdered at all.

Out, okay? And the real transphobia is the underground market that's happening, and they're getting paid to be silent.

And these men don't want to walk into Applebee's or Ross with them, but they want to pay you under the table to be quiet. And so when you, as a person that's being looked at to the trans community, is put in a position, you have to speak out on both sides. You have to condemn the fuck shit, and you have to give props when props is given. And so yes, when I see trans women saying that women are jealous of trans women, or, you know, um, um, we want to be them, um, we're—

you're gonna respect us as women because we are women.

It's like the misogyny of it all. Like, the only people that think like that are misogynists, and it's men that have been oppressive to the entire society. And let's start with white men. And so I'm like, Tia, is this This is bullshit. Like, you come out here, you do great things.

I say you're funny. I say that you're—

you're, you know, people, uh, love your, your wittiness. But I'm gonna call the fuck shit out when I call it. And you did not condemn that trans woman who was born a man and still has male parts putting their hands on a woman, or calling a woman a bitch, or calling a woman out they name. No, ma'am.

Or you, uh, um, addressing a woman's period as something that's disgusting, but you wouldn't be here if it wasn't for a woman.

And your—

and your reference to what a woman is comes from your mother because you look just like her, just like you look just like your mom.

Yeah. So is that how you and T.S. Madison got there?

Because that's how we got there, because I'm like, girl, just like as a Black woman, I'm expected to use my platform to speak for the Black woman. You have a platform as a trans woman. Don't be trying to play it safe because you don't want your check messed up in the trans community. What they did to Flame, they tried to blackball Flame.

Really?

Yes. But Dave Chappelle said not today.

Oh, really?

Yes. They was canceling gigs at clubs, wouldn't work, was, matter of fact, booking T.S.

Madison over Flame because Flame did not condone the bullshit, the very bullshit that you're going through, and said, well, we're gonna, we're gonna stop your bag.

And Dave Chappelle said, not today. And he was labeled, oh, transphobic and everything because he told jokes. And it's like, if we could tell jokes about heterosexual people, why can't we tell jokes about trans people?

You know, it's a double standard. It's a lot of people, a lot of, um, because my mom started saying it as we started going out to, um, the shows because, you know, with her, with me being one of the entertainers, she would get backstage access that most people don't see. And so people would, um A lot of the trans people, they would, you know, start these little, um, just play-play reads. But then when somebody turned around on them, they would literally be ready to physically fight, right? And she'd be like, but this person always started with— I'm like, it's so much healing. There's so much healing that needs to be done. Yeah, because that kept happening. And it got to the point where, like, we knew certain people, like, and she's like, oh, that's why you don't play with that person. I said, no, because if they try to nut with me, we gonna tell that just room up. And she'll be like, I know y'all are. So certain people I would just speak to and that's it. And she's like, they tried to have a conversation with you but you would avoid it. Yes, because I already know they can dish but they can't take. And I'm not ever gonna let you dish and not— I'm a boomerang. Whatever you throw this way is definitely coming right back, and probably a little faster. So, um, yeah, there's a lot of healing that needs to be done. There is a lot of double standards that happens, um, just like the Black community in the trans community. There's a lot of double standards. There's a lot of, I could dish it, but you better not give it back. And it's like, no, that's not how that goes.

And as comedians, you know, in Dave Chappelle's defense, because, you know, I'm a comedian as well, right? We take pain and make it funny so that you don't have to deal with the pain. But it seems like with— and he said the LGBT, the LGB is fine, Q but it's the teens that's fucking it up.

Sorry, I didn't mean to laugh.

The teens is setting everybody fucking back because—

and maybe it does have to do with the hormones that you're on, because think about it, like, as women, you know, you know, our hormones can be up, you know, ravaging one day, the next day they're not, depending on our ovulation, our cycle, and things like that. Emotion, stress. Yeah, triggers, stress, hormones.

We go crazy.

And so imagine you being on something that's artificially made.

Yeah.

Okay.

Not real and not real. And then you're having to function in society as, as a new person being judged. And then you're on this medication and then you're feeling some of the things that we feel and then you still got your underlying male hormones.

Is it—

is there some sort of, let's just say, foundation of mental illness that could occur as a result of the imbalance chemically?

Definitely, there's definitely psychological and emotional issues that come from taking hormones. Like, seriously, like my best friends that literally knew me, like the two that knew me since, you know, since we created our friendship in high school, they started saying, Randy and Phillip, they started like saying like, when you, they could tell, like they could say, I could tell when you have a lot of hormones in you. Because you, you spaz out mentally. They will always say that, but it becomes something that people just accept, and it becomes this thing where trans people say, well, you know, pain is beauty. So sometimes if I'm mentally in pain, as long as I'm looking like I need to look, it's overlooked. Now, because they're starting so much younger, um, they're starting to— I heard in some states, but need to be all states— they're starting to require a castrating if you're going to be on hormones as well. But that's something that should have been started. There's a lot of people, um, I know this girl, she is in prison for the rest of her life because her and her boyfriend decided to kill somebody in Alabama and then drove all the way back to Stockbridge. And when they got to Stockbridge, when they walked in the house, that apartment complex was surrounded by the SWAT team. And she ended up blaming it, you know, on hormones. And she had got castrated, you know, which means, you know, That changed a lot up here as well. And nobody talked about that, but after she went in, you know, I have this thing where I get it from her, people feel like they can open up to me. You know, where they won't tell nobody else, they'll tell me. So I talked to her, I asked Kiki, I was like, you know, would you, you think it would have been the same had you not been? And she was like, nah. She was like, as I'm just thinking about the whole thing, like, I was mentally weak. You know, I had just took some shots, some hormone shots, and you know, I've been castrated. She said, you know, my castration, It never balanced out psychologically. I was like, for real? She's like, yeah, never.

And that's a good point that you're making because, and I'm glad that you brought that up, you know, from a personal experience that you had with someone, because men are very physical creatures. Like y'all are physical. You have to, you know, put your hands on things and build things. You gotta, you know, like now the, I call it an epidemic with young boys where they feel like, oh, young boys are ADHD or they're autistic because they won't sit still or they won't focus. It's not in the genetic makeup for a man to sit still. They're supposed to be out working, touching things, building things, you know what I'm saying? If a woman needs something, if the community needs something, they assemble to get it. And when they're angry, having that outlet, the wrestling, the running, the, you know, exhausting yourself. And so, and then when you take sex away, because sex is deemed as a sport to a man, psychologically it's like that aggression can really turn into, you know, me murdering someone all because I'm not letting off.

Yeah, that's true, that's true. You know, and people that are castrated, they, um, they have a very low sex drive because of— that's where the testosterone is at.

Yeah, and it's got to come out some other way.

Yeah.

So what other is it gonna come out? And so not being able to control your emotions, it happens with people with hyperthyroidism. Let's take hyperthyroidism for example. You know, mine was misdiagnosed, and so I would get angry so bad to the point where it would be like I would black out. I would literally black out, not knowing what has happened, not knowing that my hormones are off. Your thyroid controls all of your hormones, the food the water, all of these things are taken into account. The makeup, the lotions that we put onto our skin, the air that we're breathing, the water, like everything is—

They had a talcum powder recall with Johnson Johnson, right?

Johnson Johnson throwing off, you know, the ovaries. The ovaries are part of your hormonal system, your endocrine system. And so there's just so many factors and it was like, oh my God, like I can't believe I was getting angry to the point where I literally wanted to physically hurt someone. And I would wake up when my cycle started, it would be blood everywhere. And I would— the day before, I would be so angry to the point where I'm like, I could punch a hole through a wall.

Oh wow.

Yeah. And so, and imagine, I'm not taking any hormones.

Yeah, exactly. This is just—

this is just natural, the natural environment saying your thyroid is off, look what happened. And losing control. And I would have to apologize to everybody body that was around me the day before.

That's why I said in a lot of ways the trans community mimics the gay community, how, um, like you said, that when I undiagnosed for so long, how health is such a taboo, and now we're starting to catch up and go get checked and stuff like that. Same thing with the trans community. Like, when you take hormones, they do conjugate your liver. You should be going to see an endocrinologist all the time, but for a long time I wasn't required to. Then later on, you know, they started requiring it. I think mental health, just like endocrinology is a part of it, mental health needs to be a part of it. You need to make people, if they're gonna change like that, you know, they change their chemicals in their body and mix the two and have this unbalance, you need to go, um, they, it needs to be required statewide, uh, nationwide, especially because people are starting younger, you know.

How do you feel politically And Mom, this is a question for you too, about them saying that the fact that a child can walk in without the parent's permission and be given hormones and be supported by government-funded facilities to transition or to be, you know, openly gay or, you know, lesbian or anything like that. And how can I put this? There are certain people that think that this type of government funding and being able to take the rights away from a parent and I guess elevating sexuality is a gateway for pedophilia.

That's a good question.

I'm going to say for me, I wouldn't ever be for it.

Yeah, that's too young.

A child is a child. And even sometimes when you're 20, 25, you're still trying to figure life out. You're still— well, you are trying to figure life out. And to give that child, that children, those privileges, that is, to me, is really, really sad where we are. Also, I was big on not even being okay with condoms to a child because, yes, um, um, yes, because again They don't— didn't need to be in a position to just, oh, I have a condom, so I can just start having sex. And parents need to be involved in their children's life. Those conversations need to be taking place. But to give a child that privilege is— it's just really sad. We're going so much backwards in life. It's really sad. The child is still the child, and parents' responsibility is to take care of those children, give those children knowledge. And I think, um, at some point in time, we're gonna see that it is a big mistake. Yeah, that they're doing.

To piggyback off that, I think developmentally, um, it's the wrong thing to do because I think one of my doctor friends from a while ago, he said that, um, some women can, can, um, still be going through puberty up until they're 21, some men until they're 25. He said some men, if their puberty cycle started late, they can go through puberty till they're 25. Because I had a friend that was like our height all our life, and then like 21, he spurred it. But he got his puberty spurt late because when we were younger and we were going through all our, you know, he wasn't. And so I think that if you're doing that, you know, you're stopping 'Cause what if a child changes their mind? I think I might be the most viral public one now, but there's gonna be a lot of people that realize for whatever reason that they should not have transitioned, or that I've transitioned, I've had my fun, I'm done. 'Cause I know somebody who did, he was like, he said, his story is different from mine. He said he did it for drag reasons because they were getting more bookings and stuff, he's older. He said, I knew, he said, when I laid on that table the first time and got augmented and stuff. He said, I knew, I told God, if you let me have a successful drag career, when I turn 40, I'll start my detransition. He didn't start till he was 45. And I was like, wow. He says, I said, so you always knew? He said, yeah. So I'm thinking, what if a lot of people know that? Like, hey, you know, it is a wild decision to do that for so long, but what's it like playing a character? Yeah, I want to just play around for 15 years, and then when I turn 38, I'm gonna start having children and go back to being, you know, So I think that developmentally it is too far. And how can you not have had any— you haven't had any say-so, any influence in this person's upbringing, but all of a sudden you want to have influence in them transitioning their gender without their parent?

You don't know these children, that's too far, never been around them.

That's too far. You just passing laws just to get your— like, that's too far.

I can't remember the state, it was It was somewhere out Midwest. I want to say Wisconsin somewhere, but there was a child who was a problem child for their parents their whole life, and they would do— this child would do things to get attention. And so the new thing this time was, I'm trans. Oh, call me this.

Okay.

And so it got to the point where the school got involved. The parents was like, listen, the child, the little girl is delusional. Okay, do not believe her. She's a liar. She's been a problem for us since she was a kid.

Right.

The government stepped in because they felt like, oh, well, she's not getting the support she needs at home. They removed that child from the home. She said that the parents were not supporting her pronouns, her transition, put her into an all trans facility and is now giving that 13-year-old child hormones to transition. The parents are not allowed to see the child. All rights have been stripped.

Oh wow, that's way too—

and they were told by a judge that they would be held in contempt of court for speaking out. This is a recent story. They said, the fuck, the hell with that. This is my child. Oh yeah, I'm speaking out. And the fact that the government can come in and say that I am not appropriate to raise my child— you haven't been with my child, you haven't given birth to my child at all, and now you can come in and try to and silence me. And silence me. Absolutely not.

Right.

And I want to say this too, because a lot of people— and, and this is where I get a lot of, um, scrutiny, and it's mainly from the LGBTQ community, because, um—

all right, winos, you guys know that I am busy as hell, okay?

And so when I hit a lick, you hit a lick too.

You guys know that we have businesses, we got We got all sorts of things going on, and we just don't have time to cook a lot. And a lot of times we don't have time to eat out because it's either too expensive, and we also don't have time to grocery shop because it's too expensive as well. But I'm gonna tell you something. When I found CookUnity, all of that changed. Not only are they offering me gourmet meals made by real chefs, okay, that you can select from— they got hundreds of meals meals for all sorts of diets, whether you vegan, vegetarian, paleo, gluten-free, dairy-free, whatever it is that you have. They have fresh, never frozen meals ready to prepare that comes right to your door in this container here so that you can prepare it for your family. Okay, it saves time, money, and everything like that. So me and Shaq have literally worked 14 hours today. We don't have time to go sit in no restaurant because I'm actually working right now while I'm doing it. And so while I'm working, I'm actually eating. So my 2 meals that I chose today are the stir-fry coriander lemongrass shrimp made by Chef Abe Moise. And if you scan that little barcode, you can learn more about your meal there as well. The reason I chose this particular meal is because it has 24 grams of protein. All right, and you guys know that I'm always in the gym trying to build trying to build my little legs, trying to lose fat and things like that. And then of course I gotta keep my husband's protein count up too as well. And so today, Sheck is gonna be having the Mediterranean Salmon and Quinoa Bowl. He loves salmon, and of course salmon is really loaded with protein. This has 40 grams and it's made by Chef Ruben Garcia. And if you scan that little barcode right there, it'll tell you a lot about your chef as well. As well as the ingredients and things like that. Now, you can either microwave the meals or you can heat up the meals. I gotta get to eating 'cause I don't like my food to get cold. If y'all wanna enjoy y'all food here for literally a third of the cost of what you would pay in a restaurant or in a grocery store, please visit cookunity.com. Use the coupon code for 50% off your first order, all right? Now go ahead and get outta my kitchen.

I'm about to get down. You take a child, let's say I'm raised in Panama City, Florida, right? If I was raised in New York, my childhood would be completely different. My thought process would be different.

Definitely.

If I was raised in, let's say, Hungary, I would speak Hungary, whatever language they speak.

Right.

Okay.

And so there's a lot of thought leaders that I follow, and I applaud Oprah for opening the door to some of these thought leaders like Deepak, right? And so Deepak, there was a video coming across social media And I literally, I sent this to my husband and he said, wow, because here's the thing, like, I have a son that is 4 years old, about to be 5. We took him out of the American society because we wanted him to be raised the same way his father was raised, okay, which is in Africa, brought up with the African values, the importance of family, the importance of education, the importance of understanding your role as a man in society. And society is not raising you. And so just in over less than a year, he's lost his American accent. He's now speaking 3 or 4 languages.

Oh, wow.

When he sees his grandmother, say for instance, if he saw you or any woman, he would take your purse, set it down. He wouldn't let you carry any bags. You know, he's quickly catching on to the men that are raising him. Yeah. Okay. And it's not a perverted society. It's a very spiritual-led society. The men handle the men. They make sure that the men are protecting the women. The women don't open doors. Now, yes, they cook and clean. But for the most part, the man's job is to serve and protect the woman and the children. Yeah, right.

Influence is huge.

Influence is huge.

Like, if I would have been raised in a household, like, if she had a— if her second husband was somebody and my father was strong enough, or my father's strong enough. I was raised in a household with a strong man that had values and loved me properly, trained me mentally. I would have never even considered trans. I would have never considered that. But I want to say, because I would have looked up to my father.

Okay.

And I want to say too, a lot of time people may not look at it from this perspective, what I truly believe, and you can interject when you get ready. A lot of times when, um, men change over to females being a transgender, they haven't had that male figure in their life. So let's just say that been raised, and because the mother has been the closest parent to them at a very young age, they start wanting to do the things and be—

I can agree—

from a mother, a female, and not a male.

I think that's the first point of influence.

And also, a lot of times they are so broken. Yes, because I was not healed, not getting counseling, and a lot of time not having family members that they can just go talk to. Let me say this, that will not judge them and piggyback off, talk to them and love them and still tell them the truth.

Yeah. And when you are broken, um, when you are a broken You know, your age makes you grown. Your decisions make you an adult. When you are a broken grown person, you can be swayed anywhere the wind blows. You can be influenced to do all kind of stuff, you know. That's why I used to, um, we used to laugh at it, but now we'd be like, we get it now. Because I went to white schools, and when their parents would get a divorce, they're like, oh, I gotta go to freaking counseling with my mom and dad tonight. But white people get on with— white people get in front of therapy. They get in front of counseling. They get in front of, you know, the trauma, because they know it's coming. They know if they don't, it's gonna make bad decisions. Because I used to always have these white friends like, I gotta go to counseling because my parents getting a divorce, or my dad got back on drugs. Like, you know, and we would laugh at it, you know, because like I said, I went to a school where I was like sometimes the only Black child in honors classes. And so I would come and tell her these stories stories about these white people going to counseling, but they're some of the best citizens now. They didn't go through a lot of things that I went through, a lot of bad decision-making. They knew who they were. They were leaders because white people get in front of therapy and counseling. And like you said, raising them right. We're getting better.

And they're not—

I was very broken.

They're not saying you were broken before you became an adult. That's another thing.

Yeah, I left my mom's house broken.

Had I not, I would As a young child being broken. So a lot of times when people look at, um, the way transgenders respond, a lot of them are broken from a very young age. So now you're dealing with an adult that's broken.

Yeah, I didn't go through therapy until my 30s.

Do you think you, you loved on men because you craved that love from a man?

Definitely, definitely. I think it was much easier. And I think that when I was young, a lot of older gay men, they preyed on that. They knew You know, they could see it, you know what I'm saying? They could see it, you know. Sometimes you can see yourself in other people, and then if that person is young and they cute and, you know, you have ulterior motives, what you gonna do? You gonna pose as that father figure at first, because that's what I would attract. I would attract men who act like they want to be a father figure to me or a mentor, like, you know, you in college, you doing the right thing, stay away from them punks, the punks ain't doing right. But then later on, on a drunk night, they'll choose, or they'll try me, or they'll So then I have a very messed up thought process about who I can trust, who I can't, because it was happening back to back, you know, people acting like, you know, I just want to mention—

Preying on you sexually.

Preying on me sexually.

Yeah, just like, you know, people influence you by doing drugs.

Yeah, I had a lot of predatory people attracted to me and young in my 18, 19, 20 years old.

And so this really kind of, you know, like I said, I commend Oprah because Oprah did a lot of work with bringing in thought thought leaders to kind of help to just lay the foundation of how the brain works. And so I'm a firm believer, yes, environmental factors. I've seen science experiments and I've seen scientists come out and literally do science projects on different reptiles and animals and how we can give them this chemical and this chemical could change their biological and alter their makeup. The same way that they were We're able to grow babies now without people.

Right.

You know, and clone meat. It's like we can manipulate that. And so the simple fact that they said, yeah, we were born like this. Yes, but it was induced. It wasn't hard.

Please don't think, yeah.

Yes. And so here's my thing too. So when I looked at this video that Chopra made with Oprah, it made me really just kind of say, wow, like I wanted to present this to you. And to see what you thought about it. So let me play this video right here. Hold on. Okay.

Brain doesn't know the difference between an actual experience and an imagined experience. If I anticipate surgery, then I'm afraid of the surgery, I'll release the same flood of hormones as the surgical procedure. In fact, I might release even more. If I think in my mind I'm watching the sun, my pupils will dilate. If I think in my mind I'm in the darkness, the pupils will contract. If I think I'm holding some hot coals in my hand, the temperature will go up. If I think I'm holding ice in this hand, the temperature will go down. So every wisp of thought releases a flood of hormones and chemicals and chemical messengers, and every little cell in your body is eavesdropping on that. In fact, your body is nothing other than the projection of your own consciousness.

If you're worried about something, the worry about the experience causes as much problem as the actual experience, if not more.

If not more.

If not more.

I believe that. I believe that. Yes, truly.

And imagine we got young brains that are being sex— that are being introduced too early to sex.

Yeah. And they're so susceptible at that age.

Yeah. Because sex is the most powerful tool that you can use because it's something that we crave, love, and it's intimacy. And just imagine a 5-year-old being introduced to sex or someone who's perverted and things like that. And so their brain, you know, just releases a flood of hormones. And then you start to kind of go with the flow.

Identify and attach.

Identify and attach. And so it's a lot deeper than, you know, most are willing to consider.

I know.

I wanted to—

because you got to go there. That's why most people are not willing to, because you have to really go there. Most people don't want to go there, you know, because it's, um, it's hurtful. It brings up things like we had— like we talked about things that have happened in our family that most of our sisters, they would have had a heart attack if they were here. Most people, they can't go there. They can't. She will always tell me certain things because there are certain people— like my father, he can't handle a lot of the truth. He'll beat you, get mad, hang up. She's like, your father and certain people on your dad's side of the family, they would have a heart attack if they had to literally face the truth. Like, if your father had to face that he neglected y'all once we divorced, once he divorced me, he divorced y'all, and he was not there for y'all, he would— it would kill him, she said. She says, I really think he would have a heart attack. He would be put in the hospital. Most people can't go there. They're not mentally or emotionally equipped to handle the hardcore truth. That was one of the things I already knew. I was like, you know, for us to return back to the man God made us, we have to realize how did we get to the point of transitioning in the first place. And then that's when all that—

and you said that the way God made us, because, you know, they'll say an amorphodite is similar to a trans woman, and it's like No, that's not the same at all. A mooravidite was born the way God made them.

Yeah, you can't change science. And that's what a lot of people would get mad at me too. You sound like a hypocrite because I'd be like, no, you can't change science, bro. And they'll be like, no. I'm like, see, that's the problem when you get too many rights and laws and things passed to be progressive and start the lulu.

The truth is lost.

The lulu starts to kick in.

Yeah.

And I just never never went along with it. Like, for instance, when the whole, you know, um, and my mom, she never, like, we never, like, she just laughed when the whole thing came up about, um, biological women not wanting to be called cisgender women. I was like, you know, because certain cousins are kind of like, how you feel about that? Because I'm, you know, I have a lot of girl cousins because, you know, I'd be like, you ain't no cisgender woman, you're a biologically born real woman. And my mom was like, you know, my mom always said one thing about Ashley, she never— like, I never was too far off in the deep end. Like, the person that decides to make the change is the one that needs the prefix, not the person that was born a woman. Like, what are we doing? Like, it's going too far. Or when they were like, um, when they started saying, um, uh, birth givers or chest feeding, like, it just went way too far.

And it's like, you wouldn't even be here again. Yeah, like, you wouldn't even be here.

Because let's be honest, they were like, well, you still need a man.

Yes, a man could plant a seed, but we choose whether or not we want to water it and grow it.

Yes. I will always have this thing, right? Um, and people would laugh because, um, um, uh, when I was trans and I was telling, you know, men wouldn't know, um, at first I meet them in the street because I would— I would always protect my my safety. So I meet him in the street, meet him in the club, whatever. And then I would— that would be like one of my first 2 or 3 texts, like, hey, by the way, I'm trans and I still got all my stuff, you know what I'm saying? And then a man would text me back, he'd be like, dang, you were so fine in that club, I thought I was gonna put a baby in you. I said, you could put one in, but ain't one coming out. I will always tell a man like that. Or if— or that would be my way of telling a man my tea. He'll be like, oh, I want to put a baby me and you. I said, you could put one in, but ain't one coming out. And he'll be like, why? I'm like, cause I can't have a baby. Like, period. You know, like, I just never let my mind go that far. And I feel like a lot of, um, a lot of people, uh, straddle that fence, you know what I'm saying? There's nothing wrong with trans people. Like I said, I think some trans people, if they couldn't be trans, they wouldn't be here. And that's not what I want for you. I want you to be alive. So exactly, you know what I'm saying? I want you to exist who you want to be. But my personal journey—

but the delusion has to—

yeah, the delusion part got to stop. You cannot think that you're the same as your mother. Like, that's a little bit delusional.

But then again, you know, we can argue and say— and I'm sure I'm going to get dragged for this— if they're confused about who they are, why would we expect them to be clear-cut about who we are?

What's black and white? You can't change science. Like, there's no surgery that's ever going to make that would have ever made me the same as my mom, like ever. And I never was delusional about that. I told people, I said, don't call my mother cisgender woman, don't call her real fish, don't like, don't say certain things to my mama. Like, I don't care what you do with yours, that's between you and yours. Like I said, it's always a personal thing. I am not a trans advocate, so I'm not being— so I'm not an anti-trans advocate because I was, you know, but you not saying certain stuff to my mother. My mother's not a cisgender woman. My mother's a biologically born born real woman. Oh, that just— it is what it is. And so I started having fallouts with people because of that.

Yeah.

So now that I'm detransitioning and we falling out, it's like, good riddance, nice knowing you.

And it's interesting because that, that, that word erupted from, oh, um, the doctor told you who you were. You as a human being have the right to choose who you are. So based on what they identify as a man or a woman, we just accepted that. And it's like, are you fucking kidding me right now?

Anything to—

listen, I get, and people want to solidify what it is that they are. It's like they want a foundation, but no matter where you go, the foundation is what you were born as. And men don't have ovaries. Men don't have periods. You know?

And trans don't have periods, trans don't have ovaries.

Right.

You can't change science. You can't.

You can't change science. I mean, they can change their mind, but not science, okay?

And that's why I wanted to introduce that video to say the brain, once you tell the brain something or teach the brain something as a child, the brain gonna believe what you tell it to believe.

Absolutely.

Just like I could say I'm a horrible person and every day I tell myself that, I'm a horrible person.

But if I tell myself, oh, I'm a great person, that horrible conversation doesn't come up. So I believe that I'm a great person and I'm gonna show up different. And so whatever it is that we are, we train our brain to believe. And that's why meditation is important. Yes. That's why having a stable foundation coming up is important. That's why therapy is important.

Yes.

That's why having the support of your loved ones is important. And I applaud your mama for just never giving up because I would never give up on mine. Yeah, it's my child. And you got to be a mother and a woman to understand that, because we are the nurturers and the growers of the world. Yes, men are the planters. They go, okay, some stay, but most of them go and keep planting. But the women, we stay and we water, we grow, we nurture, and we continue to do that even after you guys are 18.

And we still go through it.

And me, it could just be I raised you, I'm done. You know, like, they have that choice, and it's not child support, and at 18, nobody's making this man be a father to you. But we do have some great men that are great fathers and that are there.

Our generation is changing, thank God.

Yes, it is changing.

And so, you know, there's just so many factors at bay, and I'm just glad that I was able to actually have a conversation with somebody as open as you and this is not based on hate.

Oh no, definitely not.

It's the truth.

And I want to say that too in the camera. A lot of people probably thought that this was going to be an anti-trans conversation. First of all, that would make me a hypocrite, because if I've lived some way at 16 years, um, that's like somebody who gets delivered from drugs, or, you know, somebody who stops doing something— you don't go back and bash the very people that you just came from. That makes you a hypocrite. However, just like people love to say trans lives matter, Black trans Black trans lives matter. People who change their mind, our lives matter too. And this has been a conversation and a day to show people like myself, because there's other people out there, and I want to show y'all that it's never too late. If you woke up, it's never too late. I don't care how many surgeries you had. I've had a million of them. It's never too late. If you want to return, don't let nobody bash you, bully you, or make you feel like you can't go back to whatever it is that you want to be in life.

I love that. You did that. You nurtured, you grew, you watered, you did that, Mom.

Well, I just lastly want to say that he was asking me to move to Georgia because I moved from Florida a few years. And I tell people the one word changed. He said, Ma, I want you to move to Georgia. I said, no, no, no, no, it get cold there.

I'm going to die.

I'm going to die. Because that's how you I usually behave when it get cold. However, when he said in 2020, I need you to move there, less than 3 months I was moved. I moved there. And I want to say that I thought it was about the journey of me being there for him, but it was about my journey. God dealing with him, whatever needed to be dealt with him, but God dealing with me as well. So I just know that that unconditional love, continually supporting and still praying because I know what the word of God said, and me also acknowledging. I say as a mother, I made a lot of A's, but I made some B's and C's and D's and F's, but I have acknowledged and owned my stuff with my children.

Yeah.

And that's why we were able to be as close as we are.

A lot of Black parents and talk about any and everything. Older Black parents.

Yes, because sometimes it's not that they're dealing with a child that's transgender. Sometimes you just messed up as a mother. Yeah, own your stuff.

We get that a lot. We'll be out in public, somebody else say, you know, I just love y'all relationship. I wish my child— like she said, it won't be a trans, sometimes it'd be straight. Their child is a straight person. Yes, like my child don't, my child don't fuck with me. My child don't deal with me, or my child come around and be disrespectful. We always ask, what happened? And they're like, oh, nothing, I'm just— nah, something happened in that adult child's childhood that you're not willing to go and help heal. You helped hurt, but you're not willing to go help heal, and that's why they disrespectful, and that's why they don't want to be around you. That's why, like, because a lot of parents, they try to trick her into thinking like, no, they just woke up one day and decided being disrespectful. And she's like, nah, that's not how that works.

What baby baby is born and disrespectful?

Yeah.

So let's just go there. What baby is born and disrespectful?

Something happened.

So what I've learned, when children are very disrespectful, and I don't ever accept it— me neither, because I never had that. We, we've had disagreements with both of my children, and then we'd be like, you know what, it's obvious we need a few— we're not gonna agree on this.

We need a few days.

We're not gonna agree on this. We're gonna disagree. We're gonna agree to disagree. 'However, how was your day?' Yeah. So we move on immediately from it. But what baby is born being disrespectful? So what God showed me when I was in Orlando, when you get children that's starting being very disrespectful, there's a lot of hurt there.

Yeah. And sometimes parents not even identifying it because we have a child that's not born being— they cuss about like dogs, 'You be—

you fat.' It's a lot of stuff.

We have a cousin and, uh, well, my cousin, my cousin and her sister, they, but they talk to each other like that too. You fat, you ain't never gonna be assed out. And then too, what I do want to say, respect comes both ways.

Because now you have these people, these people in their 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s. I'm your parent, but don't talk to your children very disrespectful. And they may not disrespect for you, disrespect for you at a very young age, but give them time.

My father like that. He can talk to me however, and I can't say nothing back. My father's like that. She could tell you.

And I'm not saying be afraid of your children. That's not what I'm saying. Respect them.

Yeah.

Talk to them. They're human beings. And still, they know. He always say we're best friends. But there are conversations we have. I'm the mother, but there are conversations he has that I feel like I'm the child because I'm learning. But we're not ever disrespectful.

No, never. It'll shorten your days.

Yeah.

Oh yeah, I always go back to that. You don't want your days shortened.

She's the reason I stopped talking to my father. She was like, because when y'all get on the phone, it's so volatile. You have no respect for him. And I get it, but stop talking to him so that you don't count. He said, not for him, um, for you. So for you, it was like that when my mom and I—

like, she was— who my mom was firecracker, boy.

Take it out.

And I would just take it and take it and take it. And then what I did was— no, I never blew up on her.

I was—

I just separated.

Okay.

So it was like I didn't talk to her for a few years.

That's why.

And when I— when I did, my sisters, you know, she— they brought us back together. She was like, Mom changed. I'm trying to tell you, Mom changed. She ain't like that no more. She listening.

Okay.

And so we are so close now, and she's even helping me to parent my daughter. And that's good, you know, because she was just like, I I realized I can't be talking to y'all like that, and I can't walk around mean all the time with an attitude, and I'm just missing life and y'all growing up, my grandkids going up. And so, you know, and that was a prayer that I, I prayed every day, that, you know, God would bring us back together.

That's why it's also easy, because people have been asking me, because they've been seeing the heat that I've been getting from the LGBTQ. I look like that because I don't— that don't bother me. Um, good luck, keep trying, but um, friendships and connections come and go, but family, your blood, your mom, my mom, you know, your kids, that's, that's forever. You can't ever erase that. Yeah, I couldn't imagine. I can't imagine one friend I would lose and I'd be like, it is. But my family, I couldn't imagine not having a relationship with her and my brother and his kids. And I couldn't imagine life would not be life without it.

And it was an LGBTQ that said one day, and I'll I'll never forget this. It was a big livestream and they were going in on me and I was enjoying every bit of it.

Yeah, you like me.

I was just like, go, go, go. It was just like, you know, she don't give a damn about nobody but her husband, her kids, and her family. If you ain't them, she don't give a fuck about you. And I was just like, why should I?

Spirit animal twin. Who's accused of that all the time?

Like, why?

He always talking about his real family. Just because you don't have a relationship with yours. I'm not about to downplay with the one with Exactly. And it ain't gonna change.

I'm just like, and like, what have you done for me? What do I owe you? Like, that's what I'm trying to figure out. What do I owe you and why do I have to be loyal to you?

They do me the same way.

Are you loyal to me? Why should I be loyal to you? So, no.

The double standards.

But I do want to say, um, thank you so much again for just being open and coming out and sharing your story. I love that your energy is just everything. And it just seemed like everything's just on the table.

Come with what you want to come with.

Your mom has got your back. You got your mom back. I did want to put out that you are detransitioning.

Yeah.

You are restoring your body.

Yes.

You are getting— I know it's expensive.

The breasts removed and then the silicone injections removed.

And, um, we may be able to help you with that.

That would be a blessing because I've always paid for everything myself. And my pastor, he was like, this time around, Make a GoFundMe. He said, man of God, let people help you this time.

Somebody that has a connection with all of the surgery centers, that would be amazing. And for promo, okay, I may can utilize my platform.

We would—

thank you, Jesus.

Because here's the thing, they always reach out to me to say, hey, will you do surgery?

And I'm like, no. They're like, what's your stomach? Fuck my stomach.

My husband ain't worried about my stomach. Thank you.

I don't ever get it, please.

I have never in my life ever had a man say, I'm not fucking you because you got a stomach.

It's only women that say that to each other. And it's like, bitch, are you— I'm not eating pussy, you're not eating my pussy, so why should I lose my stomach for you? Like, my man is like—

Society, right?

Exactly.

You got an African man, they like natural.

Exactly.

That's what I'm trying to tell people.

Wait a minute.

So that, that's the least of my worries. And it hasn't— my stomach hasn't made me lose money.

You know, things like that.

And so they always try to ask me to do surgery. And so what I'm thinking is I'm gonna use my coupons that they gave me to say that I will showcase your surgery.

Okay, okay.

On my, on my show.

Let me make it happen. I know the girl that does it.

Okay. And as long as I post everything concerning your journey, the same thing that they're doing with Roli, we'll document it. You remember Roli? Yeah, we'll just document it here. And I think it's absolutely amazing.

Amazing.

And I'm happy to do this because.

Yeah.

You gotta restore you to what God made you. Absolutely.

And I just want to say this. Yeah. And I'm done. For real.

Okay.

No, no, no, no, I'm not.

What's wrong?

The statement was made before we came. Remember you said I hope the person that's doing the interview. And what I said to you, Right. I said everything is going to be the way it's supposed to be.

You did.

You did. I said. I said everything is going to be the way it's supposed to be. I say, and with our energy and whomever gonna do the interview, I say it's all gonna be the way it's supposed to be.

Because two people from our church—

I said that too.

I know what they say about me.

They was like, don't go there. Because she's trying— because I'm a very private person. I think you are too. That's why, like, when your stuff hit, it'd be like, oh, you know, because you don't announce like, next week filming with, you know what I'm saying. Um, um, but I take social media breaks and I take, I take media breaks so I don't catch all your stuff. Yeah, but you know, you're known for, you know, the mess. They were like, she gonna try to discourage you, she gonna try to bait you into bashing the trans community. I said nobody could ever make me do that because that would make me hypocritical. I said, did I not say this? I said y'all only look at Tasha K as a messy blogger. I said Tasha K has journalist bones in her body too. I said in our interview it's gonna be not messy blogger, it's gonna be the journalistic side. And they were like, okay, you'll see. Nobody can't bait me. I'm actually intelligent.

I promise you I don't bait.

You know what I'm saying? I know you don't. People be coming on here wanting to say what they want to say.

Sometimes I be like, sure you want to do that?

What was during the pandemic?

No, it's okay.

That's what made them start watching Love and Marriage Huntsville because Wanda was so funny to her. Well, I did watch the Martell interview, but I was just gonna say anything he said about Mel, she did not bait him.

Yeah, but I'm just saying, he just said I didn't say his whole name.

No, no, no, no.

But here's the thing.

She didn't.

What I said, what I said, and I had a conversation with Martell before that interview. I said, Martell, you done done a lot of bad interviews out here, okay? And they're done from an emotional space.

Yeah.

And it makes you look emotionally incompetent as a Black man. And you've already carried on an outside relationship and had a child with your wife. Can we have some stability?

Yes.

And he was like, "Sure." And I was like, "So, you're gonna let me— you're gonna be vulnerable with me, and we're gonna unwind some things about you that you don't necessarily talk to, or talk to the public about?" Because right now, like, I'm gonna be honest with you, you're— you know how they have David and Goliath in every show? Like, which one are you today? And so, you are good TV.

[Speaker:JOHN GRAY] We watched the show together. [Speaker:JOYCE] Right.

You are good TV. TV, you're, you're an attractive man, and you basically, you're America's husband, and you have let down women, you have let down Black families. Can you please just, inside of you, just give us some sort of reason? It's humility as to why. And you don't have to apologize to Mel for doing that, right? Because you've been married, and you could just say, I got it wrong. Yes, right? I got it wrong. This is not the way things—

but I tried, and he just But, Mom, even when you watch the show, you will always say if he would have a different approach, he would be received different. You will always say that. You would say it's the doubling down on his BS. And I was like, you right. Your brother don't be that kind of man to women.

Oh, definitely.

And that's his ego. He's coming from a place of emotion.

Oh, definitely. And I say that all the time.

And Martell is really a good— he's really a good person. He, like, he really is. People don't understand that he's anything you need, he'll do it for you. He's very open. He's down to earth. He doesn't see himself as like bigger than everybody else. Now Mel, on the other hand, she— you—

I'm here, you're down here.

That's just her.

But you always said his pride was his enemy, not his personality.

Well, that and whatever I always said when I talked to you all that I said about him. Whomever you are, that's that's what needs to be showing up.

Yeah, exactly.

The person you just said, it doesn't show up. Yeah, all the negativity show up. And I used to always—

he trusts you because he opens up to you in a way.

I got a lot out of him because we've had a relate—

listen, I could have been had Martell on my platform. I didn't want to do it, right? It just wasn't the right time, right? So when he called me, I said, Martell, I'm not going to do this out of spite. It can't be done out of spite, okay? Yeah, it has to be done from a very stable place. And you, as a Black man, yeah, as someone who's a great parent, yeah, you failed at marriage.

Okay, and it's okay.

It's okay. And that's why I asked him, I said, could you, could you have been polygamous and not known it?

Yeah.

As Black women, let's not try to sit here and fake that we don't believe in polygamy, and we do.

Oh, that's right.

You know, they had literally 2 and 3 families, you know, like Evelyn Braxton. And now, you know, like we said it, we said the only thing with Martell— Martell did nothing else a lot of Black men—

he just didn't tell the truth.

Yeah, tell the truth.

And he's being demonized down on it for being a man.

And we as women, we understand.

Just don't lie to me.

Don't double down and don't make it seem like it's my fault. Yeah, that's right. Mess up.

And that's where he messed up. But that's neither here nor there. I just want to use my platform to help you in any kind of way. I'm going to make some calls, but here's the thing. I can't make them say yes, but I am going to make sure that I negotiate this.

Just the fact that you're trying. Well, thank you.

But we are going to post your GoFundMe because you are doing things step by step. And so if anybody wants to help support Zario on his transition and transitioning back to his mother's son. The GoFundMe is posted here, it is linked below. This is going to go out on YouTube, this is not even going to go out on tashakelive.com because I am— I, I stand behind you 1,000%. And like I said, you know, this is about standing on business and standing on the truth. Yes it is.

Okay, we need to see it. Yes, people need to see it.

And like I said, we love the—

I love the trans community, I love the LGBTQ.

They're the most fun, just like your mama said. Why we ain't going to the drag clubs? Very fun, but let's not get it twisted. It's kind of like me hanging with white people, right?

Yeah, right. I like to use that example. So me hanging with LGBTQ is sort of like me hanging with white people. Yeah, we gonna laugh, we're gonna kiki, but don't you better open your mouth to call me no nigga.

You better not.

Ain't that much alcohol or beer pong in the world.

And that's how I feel about LGBTQ, don't open up your mouth to call me no cisgender. Open up your mouth saying you gonna, you gonna, you gonna call me a bitch and I'm the reason why you're here. I'm mother.

Yeah.

And so even if you are a trans woman and it is a, a, a, like a hate crime to beat a trans woman, don't buck up at me and I will have these niggas whoop your ass.

Yeah, you can't do that.

But we won't never have that problem because I don't come at anybody disrespectful.

So, but if you're upset because I'm not I'm not moving the way you feel that I should move, that doesn't give you the right to put your hands on me or disrespect me or call me out of my name.

Not at all.

I'm not being disrespectful towards you.

Yeah.

And so, no, I appreciate you, like I said, doing your thing, standing on business. And I'm gonna, I'm gonna make some calls because I know the young lady that was even responsible for Roli's surgery and even, uh, Charles and Neta. Like, I know her and she's big in the surgery community and she's a very good friend of mine.

Charles and Neta got surgery?

They did. They get a BBL, and then Charles got some lipo. So Neta got a BBL. She's transitioning.

Is she?

She is.

She transitioning?

Oh, I said we got to start with the face first.

Listen, definitely she need our skincare, our family skincare line.

Yes, you do have a skincare line. Please tell us all about it, because I was telling y'all how great y'all still look. Y'all drink water, I could tell.

We drink a lot of water, but we also have an ocean-based skincare line. Um, it's called beautymossatl.com. The moss is because most of the products have sea moss in it. That's something that's missing in a lot of skincare. Um, we've been working on it since she moved here in 2020. It is our family business. Um, so yeah, go to beautymossatl.com and, um, order.

And our skin will look like you and your mom's.

I promise, with consistency, because I'm consistent.

That's seawater. And I noticed you probably noticed a difference too when you moved from Florida to Georgia.

Definitely.

Oh yeah.

Because, you know, you look at especially Black women's skin or even brown skin, like the Latina community, if you're on that beach, just the humidity in the water, because there's salt in the air, right? The skin is immaculate, right? It's always, you know, perspirated. But when you move to Georgia, it was like, oh my God, my skin is horrible.

Dry. And we were raised, we went to the beach every weekend.

That was our dad's, And it was coming to get them for the beach, exfoliating those Dead Sea minerals, the salt, getting down to those layers of the pores. And so I look— that's the first thing I noticed on y'all. I was like, damn, they really eat good, Rhonda.

They drink water. Y'all look good. So no, thank you so much.

And please tell everybody where they can find you, follow you, ask questions.

Mom, you got an IG page?

She don't, uh, but you can follow me on TikTok, um, Instagram, and YouTube @bigzario. That's B-I-G-Z-A-R-I-O-O-O with 3 O's. And, um, yeah, holla at your boy.

Mama, start that Instagram page for your cakes and, and stuff like that. And when we upload these clips, we're gonna tag you and your baby, okay? Okay, come on now.

I'll do it for you, Mommy.

You're a celebrity now.

I'm about to do it for you.

You're a celebrity now.

No, I will stop baking eventually, um, in the near future. So I know you're the one that I need to talk to.

Okay. All right, great.

Thank you. And look at that camera and say, now you got to go. Bye.

Now we got to go. Bye.

See y'all later.

All right, thank you.