Late Night Confessional | Today was Extremely Emotional for me! Here’s why….

How y'all doing? Y'all up late with me? Oh my gosh, let me see. Look at y'all up late. Y'all can't sleep like me too? The problem was I took a nap. I took a long nap. So you know when you take a long— I didn't wake up till— I went to bed at like 4. I didn't wake up till like 9:30. 10. So now I'm up. So we up. Who up? Who up? Who up? Get in here, y'all. Who's up? Who's up? Yes, who's up? We'll talk about Clarissa tomorrow. Tonight— today is about me. We'll, we'll discuss Clarissa tomorrow or Wednesday or when I feel like addressing it. Okay, so, but today is us. Okay, so who are we up, man? Yo, today I brought y'all on here. Let me try to hold on for a second. I get tired of holding this phone and I got a strong arm here because always holding this phone. I'm the only streamer, um, that don't have the correct tools to, um, to stream with. You know, I gotta— I got an excellent broadcast, but I do not have the correct tools to stream with. Okay, so I'm in the house. This is how I be, y'all, when I— when I be in the house. You know, if I go out and have to go to the— to the dollar store, I cover up like this because nobody gonna— now y'all gonna screenshot it like, there go Tasha. I'm always in like Muslim attire because it does knock people off, cuz y'all don't expect to see me in Muslim attire. So it's easier for me to just slip in and slip out. But then there's always that one whino that watch everything. I know you, bitch. I know you. I see you. I had them whisper to me, I see you, you ain't got to hide. You know what I'm saying? Ain't nobody got money to be paying for no security. What I look like? What I look like getting a security team just to go to the Dollar Tree? What I look like? You got me messed up. I'm in my car. I don't care. I don't care. So, but anyway, thank y'all for getting up with me. So, so, um, yes, I'm using Allah to go shopping. I ain't even Muslim, but y'all, I take everything from every religion. And I apply it to my life. Okay, I'm Buddhist. I chant my Nam-myoho-renge-kyo, Nam-myoho-renge-kyo. But baby, listen, listen, I borrow from Christianity, Christians. I borrow from Muslims. I borrowed everybody but the atheist because I'm a believer. I believe in God. So I don't get that. I don't believe— you came from somewhere. You can't even explain it. So that's why you have to believe in God. So I'm sorry, but how we practice what makes our character, what makes us who we are every day is what we believe in. And so what I believe in helps me to exuberate the very best of me most of the time. Not all the time, but most of the time. And that's why we're here. Okay, so, um, you said the like is at the top. Where are my beads? My husband's beads are upstairs, but my beads are upstairs too, in front of my Buddha. So to my fellow Buddhists, nam yo ho dang gyu kyo. All right, so today was emotional for me, y'all. Very emotional. It could be a couple of things as to why I'm emotional. You know, I'm around that time, and I'm not the only woman that has felt this. So men, I, you know, listen, this ain't about you men, but I think it will help your relationship. But around that time when we start to get a little emotional, we We start to get fertile, we start to get real horny, you know what I'm saying? We just start feeling life. We feel real creative, we want to create life because we horny and everything like that. And it brings up a lot of stuff, you know? So if you're not creating something, um, and it takes a lot of, um, sorting through things and planning things out to create, you create something uh, with your own life. Like, we always create some with our own life. What I'm saying is it could either be outwardly or it could be internally. So this phase of my cycle is internal, and boy, I woke up today crying. I woke up today crying, and you know, I'm always like, um, you said, oh my God, I was crying in a store that I work at. We'll talk about that in a second. Just hold that thought. I'll answer y'all questions at the end. So, um, today I woke up crying because my husband and I had a date day, uh, that led into the night. You know, we didn't get to bed till like 3 AM in the morning, but we had a good time. And I woke up today and I was in deep prayer and I was just like, something's happening to me and I don't know what it is, right? And then God just revealed it to me. I was praying and he was like, you know, because we, you know, there's a lot going on behind the scenes here. My personal life, my business life, you know, there's a lot going on and trying to make sense of it all. A lot of stuff I can't even make sense of it, I just have to go through it. But God personally told me, he was like, listen, every— I've laid out everything for you and you can take it because we— everything is laid out and it's up to me whether or not I want to go forward or take this path. But when I get on this path, what you gonna do with it? What you gonna do with it, Tasha? Like, just because you on the path and I lay it out for you, right, and you take it, you still have to— you still got to be righteous on the path, you know? And so I'm just like, ooh. So I'm like, well, how do I be righteous on the path? So I'm like, well And I've never been the type to back down from nothing, right? Never been the type to back down from nothing. I welcome a challenge. And I was just like, well, I'm not running from what's mine. I worked for this. I earned this. You know, that's been the energy that I've been in my entire career. And I say career on purpose because at one point this wasn't a career. When I first started, first 2 years, it was not a career. But since it's been a career, the energy that I use to succeed is the energy that It's trauma. It's, it's, it's trauma, bro. Like, I just have to say what it is. It's trauma. It's trauma. There's no excuse for it. It's, it's, it's— I know. Okay, here's the thing. I am a good person. I am a good-hearted person, but I'm also deeply, deeply flawed, okay? Of no fault of my own. It's like when you teach a child certain things and mannerisms and everybody around your family act like that, because anybody see my family, they know this just Tasha, right? Um, you don't realize that, you know, a lot of things— and I've done a lot of therapy my whole life, but then when things come up It's like, now where this come from, man? I've been in therapy 10 years on and off. Now I got to go hire another therapist? Like, this is, this is where I'm at. Like, I got to hire another therapist? I'm like 44 and I'm, I'm still, I'm still, I'm still trying to overcome shit that happened to me when I was a child. I'm still trying to. Like, come on now, when does this end? When does this end? And so God told me today, when you, when you make it in, it's up to you. So like, I'm laying up, I'm late, I'm setting the table for you. The table is set, table is set, y'all, table is set. I gotta get a tissue because I've been crying today. So table is already set, it's laid out, all I gotta do is eat. But how much am I gonna eat? Am I gonna eat myself to the point where I'm going to— and I'm gonna be a little bit more specific here in a minute. I'm just telling you what's going through my mind, you know, in my heart and in my spirit and in my bones, and what I've been like revealed before I walk into this next phase of my life. And so are you going to eat to the point of gluttony where it kills you, or are you going to eat just enough and share with others? You know, so I sent out a tweet today, and that tweet right there, I was dead set in tears. I was like, damn, like I was choked up. Like I couldn't, I couldn't, you know, when you end up— like I said, I've spent a lot of money, thousands of dollars Thousands of dollars. I would say over 10 years— actually, no, longer than that, 13 years. Let's just say each therapy, $150 a session. I do 4 sessions a month. I don't know, do the math, right? Do the math. And there's still shit that's coming up. I'm like, my birthday in 9 days. I'm like, you know, the beginning of the year to me is spring, uh, contrary to, you know, what we call the calendar day is the beginning of the year. I personally believe— I ain't telling you what to believe— I believe the beginning of the year is spring when the flowers start to bloom. And, you know, if you're Christian, that's when Jesus rose, you know. That's just me personally. So now I'm like, damn, my birthday in 9 days. I'm Pisces, you know, I'm very emotional, I'm in the water, I'm always drowning in my own shit. My sign, I'm very much my sign, very much my sign. All in and out, swimming this way, swimming this, swimming, always swimming against each other. I'm, I'm never on the same page with myself. I'm always, you know, so I believe in zodiac. So that's— I don't tell anybody else to believe in it, but I believe in it. So, um, because it is relevant to me and I've seen what they've said and I'm like, yeah, that's me. For real. So what I'm saying is the tweet I sent out today was that I am a very resentful person. I'm nice. I will give you the shirt off my back. I will give you my last bite of food. I'm gonna give you the furniture out of my house. I will give you my heart. But if you do something to me and I am hurt by it, ain't no getting over that hurt for me. I compartmentalize it and I use it And you can say it's transmutation, and I use it. I'm like, I'mma prove you wrong. Watch me do this. You said this, you did this to me. Watch me do better. Then I'mma come laugh in your face and say, see, I am very resentful. Let me tell you how resentful I am, yo, for real. My own grandmama. I had a revelation about this when I was chanting in front of my boots and iron 2 years ago, and I was chanting, and I hated my grandmama, bro. Like, you could— not my great-grandmama, but my grandmama. I could stand her. I couldn't stand her, Lord Jesus. I didn't want her to die or nothing, but I couldn't stand her. I couldn't stand to be around her. My mama to this day eats her up. But I've since let that go. But for me to realize 2 years ago in prayer that I was resentful towards her, and the whole time I had— I'm not gonna say I had no reason to be resentful towards her, but I thought she did not have my best interest at heart. And so after— she's been dead now, um, I want to say— when did she die? Tonto was 2. Wow. So Tonto's 19 now, my daughter 19. So 2. Yeah, she died almost 17 years ago. And, um, before she— 2 years before she died, I had went to see her. She was in a nursing home, and I never really was liked to be in her presence. She had a lot of, you know, I lived with my grandmama coming up, her and my great-grandmother. It was just a contrast of different lives. And she'll be like, Tasha, go in my drawer and get my cigarettes. And I go in her drawer and accidentally open the wrong drawer, and she would have dolls in there with pins in them. Mm-hmm. And I'd be like, Grandma, what's these? I didn't know at the time. I'd be like 9, 10 years old. Oh, don't bother my dolls, don't touch them. What the fuck is that? I didn't know. I'm thinking it's a baby doll, I could play with it, right? No, I'm gonna kill me for saying this, but this shit true. I could, I couldn't stand that lady. It was so— I don't know if my spirit picked up that she wasn't no good person, but I remember when, um, her husband— who, her husband, this is what caused me to not like her. And to resent her, okay, is when I live with her and my uncle— oh, y'all donate money! Y'all ain't gonna donate money. Thank you so much. Thank you. Um, um, and I'll read your comment. Let me read your comment real quick so I don't forget. When you connect the dots and you realize there's a— there's been an occurrence every 10 or 12 years, you'll realize it. Was all a test to sway your heart, and it's failed. You're chosen to bring something special. My b-day is on the 7th. Well, happy birthday, Soldiers Attic, and thank you so much for the donation. And thank you for getting whatever I'm trying to say here, because this is a— contrary to y'all believe, this is about me. It's not about y'all, it's about me. I'm always in people's business, so you know how y'all in my business, okay? So what I'm saying is, my uncle, uh, who was her— and he wasn't really like my uncle. She was married to his dad. Um, which is my grand— I called him my granddad. Granddad Archie. That's the only granddad that I knew. He's dead as well too. He's a good man. He, he educated me. He— I was reading and writing before I was 4 years old. Uh, I was spelling, won spelling bees. Uh, you know, math. I can, I, I could do math in my head, like a lot of math, you know. Um, that was all because of him. Um, but when they went to work Uh, my trigger warning, trigger warning, because I have to remember I have a big platform and y'all be taking stuff sensitive and I want the FCC coming after me. So trigger warning. Um, I remember my, you know, when my grandmother went to work, she was a, uh, she was a chef. And he, he went to work, he worked for the newspaper, he was a sheriff, and he drove school buses. My granddaddy. Um, my mom was off at— I don't know where she was. I think she had married my dad and she was pregnant with my sister. At the time. So she would— I was living with my grandmama and I had to be watched by his son. And his son was 19— no, his son was 20, 20 at the time. And he was a nasty guy. Oh my God, his room was dirty. Like, when I look back on that in the mirror, his room was dirty. But I used to go— he used to go in his room at night and he would have me play games with him. And the games was, if I win this, because he was a computer geek, you do this to me. And Vice versa, right? We, I would, we would do each other. I'm 5 years old. I don't know what's right or what's wrong. They never had talks with me about that. Who knows? Like, he was living in the house and he was— the rooms were so close. Like, my grandma room was right here, his room, and, and I would go in there and I thought it was a game. I didn't know. So I remember one day I was telling my, my aunt, which was my grandmama's daughter, uh, she was like, what'd you do today? And I was like, oh, I was with Alan and, you know, he licked my tutu, is what I said. It was like, he did what? And, um, she was like, because they caught me— they taught me to say that it was tooth-tooth, not, you know, you have a judge or whatever. And so, um, I remember— all I remember was my mom ended up showing up, dad ended up showing up, uh, courts was involved. There was dolls again, and I had to point to the dolls. That's what he did to me. I remember being on trial. There's a whole case in Panama City, Florida behind this. If you look it up, Latasha Transrina Howard. I don't— I think they probably seal cases like that when it comes to kids, but I'm sure I can get it because it's my case. But like, I remember being on trial, him being convicted, and then because my grandfather, who it was his son, was a sheriff, um, he worked out a deal with the judge to, um, to basically send him away. He will never be away. He's a registered sex offender. He can never be near her again. So he ended up being sent away. I went to go live with my mom, ended up taking me, was like, I'm not staying here. But I remember when I was about 12 years old, mm-hmm, and my grandmother was living with us because she had, uh, she had cancer, lung cancer, and my mom was a taking care of her. And I don't know how it came up, but I had said it. She was like, that man ain't touch you. She was like, he did not touch you. You need to stop lying. You've been lying about that since you was 5. Me lying? I remember verbatim. Like, my medical report says that my hymen was broken, right, at 5. Um, that man was scaly. He had scabs all over his body. Like, it was— and when she said that to me, I was so devastated. I hated her even after her death. I hated that lady. I ain't giving out who. And there were times like my mama would treat her bad. This is before she had told me that I was a liar. Why my mama so mean to her? Why is my mama so mean to her mama? And I'm like, ooh, now I see why. And I hated that lady, but I let that hate go because God revealed something to me during prayer 2 years ago when I was sitting in front of my bouzan chanting. I was like, Nam-myoho-renge-kyo, because you know Nam-myoho-renge-kyo is about the law of cause and effect. It's a practice to help bring up what is causing me to be in these karmic cycles and help me to free myself of them if they don't serve me. It's a self-reflective prayer practice. I don't involve anyone else. I don't put anybody— except for a trained therapist— I don't put this stuff on anybody else. I, I always self-reflect and look mirror and talk to the mirror. This is you. Nobody's making me do anything. I choose to do what I want to do, and here's what I can do with it. So, but when I was in prayer, I remember seeing her 2 years before she died. She was getting, uh, Alzheimer's, and she had asked me what I was doing because Tantu was 2. And she was like, hey, Tasha, what you doing? I was like, I'm good. You know, I went to see her. My mama asked me to go see her. I said, fine, fuck it, I'll go see her. And she was very dismissive. She's always been a dismissive personality, like, whatever, you know. She was still that way going into Alzheimer's. I was like, damn, this lady ain't changed, bro. And so, um, I remember her asking me, what are you doing with your life? I said, oh, you know, Sheck was in the restaurant industry. I'm in a restaurant. I said, oh, I'm in the restaurant industry. I'm training to be a manager. And, you know, I was like, so I'm slated, if I follow my career, I could be making up to $200,000, $300,000 a year as a restaurant manager because I'm doing it in, you know, fine dining or whatnot. And she was like, you ain't gonna be no manager. Who the fuck you wanna do that for? It's stupid. And I was like, oh yeah, I am, with a 2-year-old child. I'm doing the best I can, you know, no college degree. I have a skill set that has lended me a good way for my husband and I to be able to take the money and start businesses. That's what we've always done. We've put our money together and started businesses the same way we started this business, the production company, you know. And she just dismissed it. And I was so angry. I was resentful. I said, "Who the hell is this lady?" So then I take that, right? And I'm like, "All right, you don't think I'm gonna succeed in the restaurant industry? Watch me." So I worked my way all the way up. Then I got fired. I got fired. After I got to the top, I said, damn. So I had to go all the way back to the bottom. I remember because of what happened, and it was— that's a whole nother story in itself. I ain't even gonna get into that, but I still believe I was wrongly fired, you know. But at least I didn't get charges pressed on me because they fired a lot of people when they fired me. And, you know, a lot of people that got fired around that time when they fired me, they got charges pressed on them. I didn't because I truly didn't know. I just, I was, to make a long story short, I was letting the servers use my card to make comps. Sometimes they wouldn't make money and, you know, they would have kids and stuff. And so like if a table left cash, I would let them take off a drink or two. These motherfuckers would come and take off the whole damn check. And we so busy, I didn't even know. Like I just gave them my card 'cause I be so busy. And then next thing you know, I'm like, why I got $12,000 And free meals. What the hell? You know, so I was just like, oh shit. So that right there, you know, that goes on your record. So then I had to— I was like, damn, like, this really fucked me up, bro. So I got fired. So I had to start all over from the bottom. Because you imagine working your way from serving, you get all the way up to premier management, you got a career, you fly around everywhere and boom, you— and it's the most embarrassing thing that you can get done. And I was just like, damn, you know, Shake was still a manager. He never had any issues. He had a business degree too. Me, I'm street, I'm street trained. So, um, I remember her telling— and that, that— and, uh, prayer. So when I was serving, when I had to go back to serving That was depressing for me. And, um, I remember I would be at home crying. This would be— this is the same house I called the lawsuit in. And I'll just be like, what am I gonna do? And then I went and got another serving job, and of course I was angry there, cussing out people. You know, I got fired. Y'all know my story if you know. The white girl was talking shit one day, and I was uploading videos on YouTube, and she said something to me, and I said something to her. Next thing you know, they're like, you need to talk to HR. I'm not talking to no more HR. I'm done with those days. And so I remember, I think I was only making like $1,000 a month on YouTube. And when they fired— well, they didn't fire me, I quit, but they were gonna fire me because I called her a cracker. And, um, I remember saying to myself like, I'm tired of going from restaurant to restaurant, I'm tired of it. I have this skill set here. I've always wanted to be in radio. No, it didn't work out the first time, but Second chances are good. And Jason, my CFO and logistics manager, said to me at the time, because we worked together on another business before he came to work for me now, he was like, you should go to the internet. And so I did that while I was in therapy. I went to the internet, and here we are now. Here we are, winos. Bitch ain't changed, you know what I'm saying? I ain't changed, dog, like for real. I'm from the South, I'm from the South, you know what I'm saying? Like, I ain't changed. I still cut your ass out, don't get it twisted. So you talking about a person like that? I done lost jobs every which way, and now I got this job, and yeah, I'm independent, But I could still lose this job, and I've lost millions of dollars at this job. I've also made millions of dollars at this job, but I've lost it too. And so I remember being in prayer 2 years ago, and I said, why do I hate my grandma so much? Why am I carrying this? And I was like, she didn't love me. She didn't believe in me. And then that one conversation, I'm sitting in a high-rise that's $10,000 a month overlooking Fort Lauderdale. I'm at the highest of the highest floors. And I remember that conversation my grandma had with me, like, you ain't gonna be no restaurant manager. You talking about "Get that shit out your head. Fuck that." And I looked at my life and I said, "I'm not a restaurant manager." I said, "I'm not a restaurant manager. Oh my God. Oh my God." I said, "Was that her apology to me?" Like, you, you know, like, I was like, did she apologize to me? Did she like see something in me that I didn't see, had no clue existed? I'm sitting in a $10,000 a month apartment, bro. From the popcorn ceilings to the LED to the recessed lighting to the concierge valet out front picking up my car. You see how deep that shit is? Y'all gonna leave the popcorn ceilings alone because if you lived in the popcorn ceilings I had, they would be on your sheet in the morning. They would fall down, the whole sheet would just come. Y'all stop that. That's a whole joke. If you from the hood, that's a joke. That ain't no diss to nobody. But you know them popcorn ceilings, you would wake up, be crumbs all over your bed, on the floor. You got the— you got the vacuum every day and shit, bro. People get tired of that, you know. Stop. Nobody coming there. That's just like in a trailer park. Stop. Okay, you saw popcorn ceilings help with noise reduction? I don't know, because every time there was noise upstairs and somebody stomped, the popcorn ceilings came down on the floor. I'm just saying, it's just, you know, y'all stop being all sensitive and shit, because if I had to go back to living in popcorn ceilings, I would. I come from it. I just had a conversation with a man 2 days ago that made— was worth $90 million at one point. This man had tennis courts in his backyard and everything. Now his goddamn counters is being ate up by termites. You never know what life's gonna take you you. So, but I'm still going to laugh at it at every damn level, and I ain't forget where the hell I came from. I'm just saying, had a lot of allergies for that shit. So no, what I'm saying is, when my grandmama told me that and I carried all that resentment towards her, like, I don't like this lady, I hate this lady, bro, like, why would she lie Why would she tell me I'm lying? And that was the first time somebody ever called me a liar. I opened myself up. I came to the people that are supposed to keep me safe, and you call me a liar. And I vowed from that moment, nobody will ever be able to call me a liar again. And if I do lie unintentionally, I will apologize to you. I will even use my being to help clear the lie. I know how it feels to have somebody call you a liar. The uncle now, he in Austin, Texas. Don't worry, I use my platform to expose him. I called his kids because I had found this— the uncle that molested me following me on Facebook when I was successful. I said, oh, you still here? Okay. So this was years ago. I called him out, put his picture out, called his wife, called his kids, told everybody. He deleted his whole damn Facebook. Facebook. So I was like, did you know your daddy like kids? Did he touch you? I sure did. And what? And I'm resentful. I'm very resentful, especially from that, that I take it personal. And I will use my platform to expose people who, who touch children. And that's why I was so gung-ho about that R. Kelly situation, bro. That anger, that resentment drove those numbers. It wasn't even about money. Half of those videos didn't even get monetized. We got the viewership, but we didn't make really no money off of that because it was too graphic. But you gotta understand, like, that's when a lot of people really started following me. Like, I had a lot of followers, but like the R. Kelly shit, that's when it really— because I was, I was living through that. I was like, this is my moment to get retribution and to get people who are calling these little girls liars and stuff a platform to— and then of course I called out the parents that they lied. But I look at like monumental moments of my career and I'd be like, damn, yo, like, what was this really driven by? Where did it come from? What was the motivation behind it? Because in order for us to do anything in life, we got to have an intention as to why, and then we got to have a driver. Who gonna drive it? Who's gonna push it? Who's gonna see it through? And so That's one thing that I've always had, was that drive. If I, if I have something giving me momentum, I'm going to drive, and I may drive the car off the curb, and I've done that. I've driven it off the curb a few times. So I say this to say, you know, my mama was just like my grandmama, and I'm just like my mama. And now my daughter fighting with me. Now granted, my daughter ain't never went through what I went through, whatnot, like, or my mama went through, cuz my mama was traumatized sexually or whatever. So was I. Ain't no telling what my grandmama went through. But my daughter, like, you know, my mouth is lethal. I could be thinking I'm motivating somebody whole time they too sensitive to even understand or grasp what I'm saying because I'm so— there's so many layers to me. And sometimes I forget that people— like, when I used to help people to build their platforms, the one thing that I had to apologize about was that I'm here because I went through everything that I went through to get here. And not to say that you don't belong here, but I feel like when people take shortcuts in life and they get stuff too fast, they lose it just as fast as they got it because they haven't gone through anything, never earned it, they haven't put the blood, sweat, and tears in it. And so when the first controversy hits it's sort of my fault as a mentor that you got caught up into this because you didn't go through things to help you to prepare for millions of people dragging you. You, you got to build up to that shit, you know. You can't just be— so that's why when y'all be like, hey, you mentoring, we doing one position at a time. Like, there's certain things you got to go through in life because If not, you'll fold. Look at, look at Kaisamai. He— the first goddamn controversy came, oh, I'm out. Too young, too fat, too much, too fast. It happens to the best of the best stars, you know. We see these kids get thrown into Hollywood and they get too much too fast, and then as adults they don't know how to function. And so in order to go through, because they've been validated and told that they were here. And in the moment a controversy happens, boom, they're like feeling worthless because they didn't build up that self-worth on their own. They were just told to have it. But one day somebody may not view you as great one day. So what do you do with that? So now that they say you're not great, you go in and you, you tell yourself and you reaffirm to yourself that I'm not great. Based off of their personalities because you did not have a chance to self-develop. We have to go through things. Like, no matter what, no matter how much I want to help people, I have to stop myself from helping people because I don't realize sometimes I'm hurting them. And you know, when it comes to my child, she has a mom that knows too much. I don't know everything. But I know too much and I can see through people. That's gotta be a lot to handle. Like, she can't even grow up in peace because I see right through her. She can't even grow up privately and have her pride because I see right through her. And because of my trauma, I'm always trying to get in front. Well, I see this, so I don't want you to go this way or that way. And then the whole time I'm allowing my fears and everything that I've went through to project onto her. So now she can't even make a fucking decision because it's just Tasha, Tasha, Tasha, and I'm, I'm Mom, I'm Mom, I'm Mom, and I'm overly loving you because I don't want you to go through what I went through. But she has to go through things, and I have to allow God to protect her. I'm not God. That's the curse of knowing too much. And being in a world of communication, we know too much. If you're a good communicator, you're supposed to know a lot. But even when you know a lot, you still will find moments like this where you be like, I don't know shit. Because how the hell am I finding out at 44 years old that I'm resentful and I'm unforgiving. Let me get me some water. Hold that thought, hold that thought. I hope, I hope that y'all are understanding me. You know I've always had these talks if you're a part of my platform, um, but I felt like this, this needed a big stage. This needed a big— say, I don't care who takes the clips and cut them. I don't care. Um, just, just make sure you don't— uh, the reason I'm gonna leave this whole video up, because what's been happening is I'll do these videos and then I'll take them down and they'll take a clip and they'll be like, oh well, she said she angry and resentful, and they don't show the context. And so I got like hundreds of thousands of viewers, look at her, told you she was angry. And I'm like, oh my God, bro, don't everybody get angry? Like, y'all stop clickbaiting me. But I get it, they gotta make their money too. Let me get some water, hold on. Talking a lot makes you parched all the time. So, um, okay, so it was revealed to me that I was very resentful. I'm a very resentful person because of my childhood wounds of being labeled things things that were not true. Even if I was there doing something and I ain't had no business doing it. Like, I'll give you an example. You know, I was with this girl one time and my mama had me hang around her because she was hanging around her mom. But this girl was older than me. I was like 13, she was 16. She was having sex, she would tell me about it. She'd be like, you know what I did today? And I'm like, what? I had sex. You didn't even know. See, she already had a baby. I'm like, Mom got me hanging with her, like the girl from the projects and shit. Like, bro, like, you won't let us live in the projects, but now you got me hanging around this girl? It worked though. It worked. I couldn't understand it then, but I see what she was doing, you know. But, um, I remember her and her boyfriend had brought me home one night. We went to like a basketball game at the rec center, um, right next to, uh, Massalena Projects. Yeah, Panama City, Florida. Is it Masalina? It was Masalina Projects on Martin Luther King. Yeah. And they were smoking weed in the car. So I get out the car to go in the house. I don't know nothing about no weed or nothing. My mama, "You high?" "Huh?" "You been smoking?" "No." Now back in the day, our family would smoke around us. They would smoke cigarettes, they would smoke everything. Okay? And so they, for me, I'm like, there's nothing, I didn't smoke. So my uncle smelled me. She was smoking. I was not smoking. I was in the car. They had the windows up. You sent me out with the bitch. They get high, they be fucking. I'm just sitting there, you know. So that's just like one example. And I was like, so from that moment, oh, you, you, you smoke weed? No. The first time I smoked weed, it sent me to the hospital, and they thought I was lying about that. Like, I was just like, no, that was my first. I had broke up with this dude, and my cousin at the time had some weed, and then my friend laced it. She's a crackhead right now to this day, bro, like for real, real bad crackhead. She got AIDS too, um, but she had laced it, and I wound up in the hospital, and it was like, see, see, she been smoking. I'm like, I did not smoke. It was— I didn't even smoke it that night. I got a shotgun of some weed with some cocaine in it. I did not do that. But being in the wrong place at the wrong time, it don't matter. Guilty is guilty. You was around it. So I'm like, shit, why don't you believe me? Because I'm messy and I like to be in messy situations. But I, I'm innocent. I swear I'm innocent in a lot of this shit, okay? I just happen to be with the wrong people at the wrong times. It'd be fun in them situations, I ain't gonna lie. But I promise you, I'm not— I'm not doing anything but just sitting there and observing. And that's why I know so much, because I've always been intrigued with observing people. I used to take all sociology classes and shit in college. I wanted to be in everybody's business. I love history classes. Oh my God, I love anything to do with people's business and lives. I was just there, always just having to be there. Now I say this to say that when I got my revelation this morning, I was crying, and my sister called me. She said, sis, I, I got you. She said the first step— you know, my sister, she's, she's, she's an actual psychiatrist, but I would never let her be my therapist because she's my sister, you know. Um, she's great at what she does, but that's my sister. She may cuss me out in the fucking session. We get to fighting, you know. It's just you need— when you need— when you go through therapy, you need people that are outside of you, people that don't know you, people that have no clue who you are, because they're going to be non-biased in the situation and they're going to look at the problem isolated without prejudging you and work on that specific issue. So now I have to find a therapist that specializes in resentment trauma and not, uh, being able to forgive and using that trauma as a shield of armor to where, oh, you, you said this about me, you did this, okay, watch me, watch me, watch me prevail, watch me prove you wrong. Even if it means that this has now become— this has now moved from business to personal. What started out— and it happens a lot in my business right now— what starts off with something that was just business can easily be personal to me if you call me a liar. You say that I'm coming after you intentionally, and I know this is business, and I'm an equal opportunity dragger up over here, and I'm an equal opportunity person that will motivate you up over here, but you want to isolate me and say I don't personally like you the same way Clarissa Shields is doing it right now? Y'all talking about, Clarissa talking about you. I said, we'll deal with that in 2 days. I said, I'm gonna allow myself 48 hours to process what just happened before I respond to anybody because I want to know where I'm responding from. This conversation may be a little over y'all head, you know, and I don't mean to do that. I'm trying to break it down and make it ABC. What I'm saying is, regardless of what somebody says to me or says about me, I am going to give myself 48 hours to process everything so that I will not make it personal, and then I'm in court Again, just a moment of silence for myself. I had to go through a lot of emotions today because like I said, God has laid out the plate for me, the whole table, to the point where I get to pick and choose what I want on the table. But am I gonna allow anger and resentment to make me gluttonous? To cause me to lose everything that was on the table because I've taken a business situation and made it personal based off of something that happened to me in my childhood that I used as a defense mechanism to protect myself from being hurt from people who hurt me that were close to me, and ones especially that I felt powerless and voiceless. Because you know when your grandma tell you something, you can't talk back to her. I couldn't say, well, you lying. Hell no, I couldn't say that. I had to eat that shit. I had to eat that shit. Like, do you know how many times as kids— and I— and you know what's so funny? I did the opposite with my child. I said she could say anything. Now she's saying shit and I'm like, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, go back in the closet, go back in there, don't you You don't talk to your mama like that. But I raised her to have a voice because I did not want her to go through what I went through. I wanted her to be able to express herself no matter how difficult it was. And sometimes I could handle that. Shut the fuck up. Look, I'm telling you, I be— I was like, bitch. Now she 19 and she thinks she Willow Smith. No, the fuck you not. I'm your goddamn mama and you're gonna listen to what I say. And she's like, but it ain't never been like this before. You've always let me talk. And I'm like, you right, you right, you right, you right, you right. Fuck it, I said that. You right, I said that. You know, so I'm glad I could find humor in this because it was not humorous all day today. It was very emotional, and I had to call my agents because you gotta understand, they've been preparing this table for me for over 3, 3 and a half years, and it wasn't easy. It wasn't easy, um, because I'm like, at first, like, we had got so close to obtaining a huge goal, and I backed out. I was like, uh-uh. I was like, I can't do it because I can't trust myself. I'm, you know, I'm not gonna say I'm an intentional self-sabotager, but I know me, and I'm a— I haven't kept a job ever for more than 3 years. The fact that I've kept this platform this long, that's my biggest accomplishment ever. That's my biggest accomplishment. I'm surprised. I was supposed to be out of business a long time ago. A long time ago, though. I was bored when I was down. I was like, God damn, like, you gotta understand, like, how much do— when I get hit with the legal fees, it's not just the legal fees from the first case, it's the legal fees from all the cases. That shit's millions of dollars. But I've used it as, um, motivation to be like, all right, you saying I'm wrong, I can't do this. And I went— I— we— my husband and I got in the paint, bro. We got in the paint like how we used to get in the paint when we first met, like, and, and built our first business. Like, he would go bartend for 4 days. We only worked on the busy days and then spent time with our ourselves. Like, we always had Monday date night. We still do. But, and then the rest was family day. And but Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, him and I would compete how much money he would make in this restaurant, how much I would make in this restaurant. We would come throw all the cash in the drawer together, and then on Monday we counted out. We just sitting up like we were strippers or some shit from all the tips. Me and him used to make, man. Like, that's me and Shaq's motto. And so now, like, anytime they've came at us, we just be like— we put our head together. We got to go to work, man. We got to go serve some tables. We got to go serve some tables. We got to go serve some tables. And so we have gotten each other out of everything together, everything. So, but it's even funny today when I was over there crying, he was like, what you crying for? I'm at the water park crying. We got Lameen at the water park. I'm crying. What you crying for? I'm like, man, baby, I'm resentful. He was like, but I been told you that. I was like, but I didn't listen. I didn't know what you were talking about. I didn't know that it took over my whole life. He was like, Tasha, you remember that story I told you about the monkeys? And I'm like, what you talking about monkeys? Don't be coming with no monkey shit. This ain't no Trump situation. You don't need to use no monkeys as no examples when it come to me. I'm a Black woman. I don't look like no— he, you know what I'm saying? I play with him like that. We just have back and forth. He's like, shut up and calm down. So, you know, he was like, you remember that, that, that story I told you about Because my husband's very wise. He doesn't talk a lot, but when he talks, it's like, oh shit, he's an observer. You talk about politics and you talk about politics, oh, you'll get that nigga to talk all day, all day, okay? But anything else, he's just gonna be observing until you ask him. So I asked him, I was like— he was like, you remember that story about the hunters was trying to trap the monkeys and so they hid a banana in a hole and the monkey put the, the, put their hand in a hole trying to get the banana, and then the poachers would come and take the monkey. He said, but— and why he used monkeys, he's from Africa, y'all. Y'all have to get— that's his whole— he always used African, you know, proverbs and stuff. So he said, but the whole time, if the monkey would have just let go of the banana, they wouldn't have got poached. And I said, oh, I remember that story. And he said, that's how you are. He said, you'll put your hand in a hole and you'll just keep trying to grab at it the whole time. They, they putting bullets in you every which way, and all you got to do is let go, Tasha. And it goes away. Who said that's where the drinking come from? Do you realize my brand is Unwind because we unwind people's lives? And if you truly watch me, you know that I don't drink like that. Y'all stop. You must be a troll. Anyway, uh, so, and he was like, that's how you are. He said I said, well, babe, listen, I've been like this 44 years. He said, so now you gotta figure out tools the same way you figure out tools to lose weight, to help to bring yourself this far. You just gonna put them the same mechanics together and figure out how to do it. And I was like, you right, you right, you right. So let me go and sit down with a therapist so I'll be able to recognize these triggers. 'Cause these triggers can come every which way. I'm having it happen. It happened today. No, was it yesterday? This, this, this lady was trying to help me, and I got a problem sometimes when white folks be too nosy, and I don't like them in my space because they always, they always come in my space. And this one lady We pull up to this building and I'm, I'm literally— I know the code to get in. So she assumed that I didn't know the code. Oh, if you're looking for the code, it's 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7. And I was just like, I know, thank you. And I walked in, I was just like, why they be all up in there? Ain't nobody ask you nothing. It wasn't like I was struggling. I didn't even get a chance to go up to the door. I hate when they do that. I don't know what it is about that that triggers me when they do that. That's a whole nother minor issue I gotta deal with, but I'm just like, I don't know, maybe it stems from me wanting to— don't assume I don't know nothing. Don't, don't call me stupid. Don't call me dumb. Hit me straight. Don't assume I don't know nothing. Huh, I know she was trying to help, but I was like, they— but they do that, and it's not just her, it's just random white folks. Like, they just be all up in my space and shit. Like, bro. And I think maybe because I've been living around them now for the last couple years, so it's like they really up in my space. Hey, you got a lot of cars over here. What's going on? What are you guys having? I didn't get an invite. We didn't invite you. Oh, I saw that little Lameen had a little bad day at school. Why are you in my business? Why are you in my yard? Like, I don't, I don't go over to your house and be like, oh, I see, I see a bunch of cars up over here. Um, I saw your son slam the door and leave the other day. What'd you say to him? Were you in his face too? I don't do that. Why you in my business? I know you got niggas in the neighborhood. You got niggas with a nanny. You got niggas with a nanny. We got a nanny up in this motherfucker. So that shows you the level of wealth we got. You understand what I'm saying? Stay— I don't go over there asking you no questions. Stay out of my business. Anyway, um, so do you think Anton will accept your second invite for an interview? There's no second invite. Second invite? There is no second interview for Anton. Okay, um, but I'm just saying, I am very resentful. I'm very defensive, unforgiving. But at the same time, what's scary about that What's actually empowering and scary about that is that I use a lot of that resentment to build my platform. The need to prove that I'm right. So that's why I double down on shit. I be like, oh, so you said I was lying? Oh, okay, watch this. Boom. I will go find out everything. Don't call me no liar. This what started out as business and an opinion and maybe somebody on my platform sharing a story that we didn't really look that deep into, because they have the right to share their, their stories. I'm gonna platform people. I'm going to platform people. But the moment you try to blame me for what your family— oh no, we got a problem. Uh-uh, don't leave me out of this. That's just how I am. But I don't know, it was enriching. It was a bittersweet moment today to realize that about myself. And it's going to be hard to fix it. And that's why I said I'm going to give myself the 48-hour rule that when I do commentary, if something is said by anybody. I'm gonna give myself 48 hours before I respond. I'm never gonna respond out of emotional— out of emotion, because then that makes it personal, and I'm bad at that shit. I'm really bad. I'm so good at my job. I know that I'm good at my job, but it's those moments right there that can knock me from here down to the unemployment line when I get personal, because I just take my job personal. And it's hard being a real authentic person and not being real and authentic in every way. So it's like I'm so used to listening to my intuition because it has served me right in so many ways. But then it's like— and it's those moments where you get out of your head, when you listen to your intuition, you get out of your head and you just be. That's a very rare space for people to be in, is just to be and exist without judgment, without fear. And I operate on that. I operate at the core center of my soul. Which is what I'm feeling now. I will have some— it's happened on tour, whereas I have some stuff because I'll write my comedy the morning of, and then, you know, I'll memorize it to make sure it's in chronological order so it hits. But then when I get on stage, something, something could happen, and everything that I've prepped goes out the window, and I just, I just be. And then I end up getting like standing ovations. So it's like, where do you find that balance, you know, that to where when it's time to strike and when it's not time to strike? Oh my God, I'm gonna go through it, y'all. Y'all have no idea. This is gonna be the hardest task of mine ever because you have to understand the level of success that I have now. I have a lot of people that work for me. We do a lot of things daily. How do I know when this is intuition? How do I know that when it's time to strike, when I'm just so used to jumping off the ledge first and landing, and then every now and then I may break a leg or two. How, how, how, y'all? I feel— now I feel constrained because there's— with this comes great responsibility. Like, it is going to be hard because to operate from a space of just being is where everybody want to be. You want to be without the doubts, the fears, the judgment, and you just want to be yourself. You don't care if people laugh at you, if they disrespect— yeah, yeah, don't give a damn. It's about— it's not even about what you're feeling, because half the time when I go into those, those moments where I'm just in a being existence, which means I'm operating pure from the energy that's coming, that's flowing into me from God, I don't even remember what just happened. I just be like, oh my God, it happened when I went to speak with the college kids. I prepped it, but then at the end when I brought it home, I do not remember what I said. I know I was cussing their ass out up in there in that school. I was the only speaker that was allowed to go in there and cuss some students out, and I had to cuss them out. 'Cause that's the only way they listen. I cussed them the fuck out. I did. And the teachers, they all gave me a standing ovation when I was done. The kids did too. They was mad at me for 2 and a half hours. 2 hours, 50 minutes they was mad. The last 10 minutes, "Can we work for you?" I get a hug, oh my God. I had to talk to them like that. I said, "Y'all some dumb motherfuckers. That's what they saying on TikTok." I said, y'all, all we hear is STEM, film, LGBTQ, women's rights, pro-choice, and y'all fucking forgetting the one right of it all— human rights. After that, after I said that, I don't know what else I said after that. I just know I just went the fuck in. I was sweating, I was preaching, I was jumping up and down. I just let it flow. It was like the Holy Ghost in me. And I was done. I was And it was like, I was like, what just happened here? I don't know, but I was in a state of just being. I let God work through me on them kids. Shout out to paying college. And the kids are all following me now, they in the comments, and I'm like, my babies, I love y'all, you know. But Yeah, I got a lot of— I got a lot more work to do, and I don't want to be one of those people that are in their 50s, 60s, with a table laid out in front of me, and I'm still allowing old ways that have served me wrong to cause me to lose something at my highest. Do you understand? It's like when you— like, look at Shannon Sharp. He was here, bro. He was here. And imagine in your 50s, you, you should know better. In your 50s and 60s, you should know better. There ain't— it's, it's harder to forgive when you at that age than it is somebody like me now. Because it's like, you in your 40s, you still trying to— but come on, 50, 60, 70, are you staying your ways? Nah, nah, you just got caught. You just got caught. And I just don't want to be one of those people. And I pray and ask God that every day. And that's why when they came to me 3 years ago, I told you the, the offer was made— let me see something— yeah, 9 figures. I said, what you going to do with that? Who going to do— no, I said, anybody with that offer, look at what happened to them. I literally told my team, I said, anybody with that offer Where they at now? Where they at? They was like, yeah, but you don't have these same issues that they got. I said, true, but where they at? Like, you— I ain't crazy. Like, what's the catch? I swear to God I told him that. I said, what's the catch? What do I got to do to get this? What do I have to— you understand what I'm saying? My husband's upstairs sleeping, the Vepa. Um, I'll never forget when I called. I had my whole team on the phone and I had called them last summer. I was like, yeah, I'm not gonna do this. They was crushed. They was crushed. But then after some revelation, because, you know, it was, it was last summer, and then fall came. Because I told you I'm very spiritual, so when fall comes, there's a lot of stuff that drop off, and then you start to plant seeds. And then when I went to go plant my seeds for the fall, I was, why am I planting the same seeds that I planted last year and they grew? And I, I threw the seeds away. So now I'm back here, the team and I are going forward, everything is laid out, and now I'm like, I'm back here again, guys. Where did those— like, when you give people those type of deals, where they at? So I'm like, but here's the thing, I work for this, we work for this. I thought about retiring. I really did. I really did consider. I was like, maybe I've reached my height. Maybe I've reached the— where you can't go no more, like in my lane, right? And then I was like, after deep reflection and fall and letting things fall off, and then, you know, the hibernation period of winter— and we're still in that hibernation period of winter Um, but then you reflect and be like, well, where is there to go? You know, why am I going to let fear and, and all the woulda shouldas stop me from doing something that I've wanted since I was 26 years old? Who, who am I to do that? To everybody that has been working with me to get to this point. Who are you to just walk away and just say no? So Oh no, I'm not retiring no time soon. I just, I just gotta have intense— I, I know what I need in order to stay grounded and Trust me, I've been in situations already being soft rolled into that part of the business, and you got to keep your head on a swivel. You really do. You got to keep your head on a swivel. It's like, because you'll find yourself— it's so much shit that's gonna be said on my comedy tour, it's crazy that I've been in. Y'all gonna be like, what the fuck? I'm like, yeah, like this shit really does happen. I get the same shit I'm talking about when it comes to these public figures has tried to happen to me. I'm like, oh my God, this shit is real. So I'm like, but it just makes the content better now because now if you see the news that we're dropping now, insider information on the business, who's getting fired, who's pretending, like I know, I'm there. I see what the fuck going on. And contrary to probably be why a lot of people ain't launched no lawsuits is because how you gonna launch lawsuits and it's true? Even if before they did that as a scare tactic to me to silence me. And I took that personal too. Like, how dare you impede on my freedom of speech? I got the right to say what I wanna say. When they're like, well, can you afford afford the right to say what you want to say. True. No, no, I, I can't afford this shit. You right. But I'm gonna be talking again. You wait till this shit over, be talking again. So Oh, no problem. Thank you to Angry Man. You better not retire, we need the content. Shout out to all the black men giving me money up in here. I got a durag, I ain't got no makeup on. They in here paying bills, y'all. They paying bills. Thank you, thank you. I ain't got no BBL either. They flying me out. Shout out to y'all. Y'all been dropping cash all day, as you should, man. Thank you so much. Thank you. Um, Hold on for a second. I love you too, Fashion View. I love you too. Hey Peaches, I'm not gonna stop what I'm doing. I'm not retiring. I'm not going to self-sabotage myself. Look, another man just, uh, donated. Thank you, Jeremy, for the $9.99. Look at him, I ain't even gotta be sexual. I ain't gotta show them no— and they just paying bills, baby. Yes, I am kept woman, contrary to popular belief, you know. So listen, um, okay, Baby Boss, thank y'all. I listen, I appreciate it, you know. I don't ask y'all for nothing. I appreciate it though, but thank you. Oh, thank you so much. But listen, um, you're in Miramar, okay, okay. Self-sabotage is a real problem. Yeah, and I'm just like, I don't want to self-sabotage myself, and so like what happened. And, and I— and it's not just with the tweet that I sent out, you know. I was, I was emotional when it was coming up, and I was like, I gotta get this out. And if I don't get it out, because I'm a communicative person, it's gonna stay in me, and then I'm gonna be— so I just got it out. I said, let me tell, let me tell the Winos. So I just tweeted it because I was like, I gotta get it out until I can get a therapist, right? Probably the reason why I'm on this live with you, because if I don't, I don't do something with it, it's gonna bother me and it's gonna come up. I like to fix things now. So I'm already tomorrow gonna be looking for a therapist to do, uh, the work, the trauma work with me. But you know, if I don't— oh my God. So even when I said in my tweet I got a lot of resentment tied to my case that was filed against me 9 years ago and then I lost 4 years ago, that's not resentment towards the person. Or maybe it is, I don't know. Yeah, that's where the therapy gonna come at. And so I have made it my duty to be like, all these headlines about I'm a liar and I did all this, watch me, watch me show you, watch me show you what I'm gonna do. And so the reason this cycle keeps happening, this Groundhog Day cycle between the two parties is because I got something to prove. I got something to prove. Y'all said I was lying. Y'all still standing on that. I lost. I'm like, I didn't lie. Somebody came on my platform. I made it personal. That's where things took a left. That's where things took a turn when I made it personal. And it came off the content to personal attacks, that's where I failed bad. And I couldn't see that. I could not see that. Y'all was telling me the whole time, Tasha, let this shit go. This is different. Your content is different. This is not why we follow you. And I'm like, what the fuck you talking about? This is why you follow me. But I'm operating out of a watch me do this type situation, and so it became personal for me. And I'm sure for the other party, of course. You do me, I'm gonna do you. And then it's like, y'all, let me tell you, let me tell you how crazy this shit is, bro. Let me tell you how crazy this shit is. How the fuck I got beef with a bitch I ain't never talked to? Bro, bro, how the fuck do I got beef with a bitch I ain't never talked to? I, I don't know that lady personally. How the fuck Do I got beef with a bitch I ain't never talked to? Do you, do you realize, do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth right now? That's how resentful I am that I ain't even got to know you or know your story. If you say do something to me, I'm a— we done left the altar. We outside now. We outside. Do you understand? Y'all don't understand Ebonics. How do you have beef with somebody? I've been in court. The only person I truly got beef with is the lawyers. Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth? Do you understand what I'm trying to say here? Because I was— I personally felt I was misjudged, as if I didn't like that person, but I didn't know that person based off of me having a platform. I had 200,000 followers when this shit happened. Now I'm, I'm, I'm in a seat, I'm, I'm, you know, we, we doing stories, I'm with Lovely T. Me, you know, like, and I'm being accused as if I don't like the person. And I was a fan, bro. I was a fan. But when the disrespect happened, I felt disrespected. I was like, oh no, I stopped. Now that's that hood mentality, because I'm a hood bitch. I'm a hood bitch and I take shit personal. I take shit personal. How the fuck? That's a problem in our community. That's how we kill. That's why we got so many of our kids. My God, I'm 44 years old. That's why we got so many of our kids that, that will kill you over a diss record. You don't even know each other. You don't know their stories, where they come from. You don't know their family. But if you get on record and diss me, I'm killing you. And then that person ends up losing their life. It's the same energy. It's the same energy. I said, I don't even know the lady, but because money, energy Now, you know, when money tied to stuff, that's a different energy, because, man, I work my ass off to get this money. Like, what the fuck, bro? Like, that, that's a whole different energy. So then the hate gets stronger, the resentment gets stronger, and now I'm, I'm like, hold up, hold up. I'm just saying, I'm out here beefing with a bitch I ain't never talked to. We have never had a conversation. That's crazy to me. And you know what's crazy is that everybody that know her and know me says y'all just alike. I said, hell, I ain't— No, no, no, no, no. That's why the energy is exchanged. I said, you got me. When somebody told me that, I couldn't even see it. This was probably— matter of fact, it was told to me today. It was told to me years ago. I don't know what the fuck happened, bro. Like, I'm— I don't even know who started the beef. That's the problem. I don't know where it got started. I don't know. I don't know. I'm dark-sided too, bitch. I will go to hell. Y'all know me. I will go straight to hell and like and get a glass of wine while I'm sitting there. You fuck with me, bitch, I'm going to hell. Ask me about it while I'm down there. Ask me about it while I'm down there. What I'm saying to you is, listen, I, I— y'all been tired. Y'all been tired. Y'all have told me as my fan base, y'all have been tired. I get that. But when you— when your money is emotionally wrapped or tied, or your self-worth is emotionally wrapped and tired, that's where it was hard for me to let go of the banana as the monkey. Remember the story I told you just a minute ago? But my husband's saying I'm like the monkey that the poachers was getting. They'll put a banana in the hole, and then the next thing you know, the monkey's trying to figure out, well, how do I get out of here? And all they gotta do is let go of the banana. That's me. That's me. So I said, I will never, ever, ever— and from this moment going forward, this is going to take some work for me. This is going to take some deep inner work for me. Because I am doing things to people based off of my protection mechanisms. Like, that's my way of protecting myself, protecting my pride, protecting my dignity. Like, somehow I felt like I was, I was called a liar. That, that's— I could tell you that I was called a liar. Shit would left. Cuz if you call me— listen, now that I'm conscious of it, now I'm very conscious of it. Now I'm not going to get as upset. Now I'm sure because of old habits, I know how to train myself out of old habits. That I know how to do. I'm— and I can teach people how to do that. Just like I taught y'all how to fast correctly, you know, um, you've done my 14-day fast that I personally wrote from— wrote myself based off of clinical data and research that I've seen and how it needs to be done and how it worked for me and allows me to do it. My fasting guide is on shoptkdeals.com if you want it. It's only $2, but I'm just saying. Um, I know how to build a step-by-step program in order for me to fix something, so it ain't gonna come overnight. But I said, this ain't got shit to do with her or the Lord. This got everything to do with me. When you call me a liar all because of my goddamn grandmama, bro, and my mama. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a few things that trigger me. Call me a liar, say I'm dumb. I don't care if you call me ugly. I know I ain't ugly. I don't care, cuz I was in 9th grade 3 years. But if you call me dumb, we got a problem. I, I, I take it from business to personal. And somewhere, I don't know where it happened, I don't know which video it was, I don't know which encounter it was, I just know that I was called a liar. And I think it had everything to do with that Lovely T situation because I'm like, bitch, we playing this? Like, I ain't got no beef with that girl. Like, I— my mom used to tell me, turn off my music. I promise you, I'm like, Mama, it's just music. I listen to everybody's music. It's just music. But then like, Mama, like, aha, look at you. Like, now that everything happened, like, I'm like, you— Mama's like, shut up. I ain't telling that though. I would never say that. I said it under my breath. But I'm just saying, like, this ain't got nothing to do with nobody but me and how I am and how I have a skill set that is now being sought out by universities for me to come in and teach their students. I remember when I used to take college courses back in the day, like within 2 weeks the professor would call out and they, they were allowed to ask students to teach the course, and I was, I was always their first pick. Can you teach my course? Because I just know how to— I know how to teach people. I know how to get information and I know how to break it down, and I know how to put it in simple form so people can get it and apply it to their life. I am very, very good at that. That's why the platform exists. This. I know my strong suits. I know what I'm great at. But then if you try to invalidate me when I grew up not validated, we got a problem. So then I take it from business to personal. You have hit me personally, so now I'm gonna hit you personally, and this is going to last. And this is where me, I get resentful, I get angry. I'm not forgiving you. And that's why I'm here. That's why I'm here. It's a trigger. It's a trigger. It's a trigger. So I don't know, y'all. I love when my cycle's about to come on because it's my creative moment, it's my reflective moment. I'm to myself. It ain't on yet, but you know, during that phase, you know, you notice as women we want to create, whether we're creating businesses, we're creating children, we're creating circumstances. It can be negative and positive because that energy is meant to create. To, to give to the world. And so in this phase, because, you know, I'm 44 and I still like— I'm not premenopausal yet. I checked my levels, so I'm still— I could still get pregnant by a side dude if I had one, because Sheck ain't having no more kids. He, he got neutered. Um, I'm just saying, like This is going to be an interesting phase for me. And I told my team, I told my team this, I said, listen to me, now that I'm aware of this flaw of mine, I need you guys to help me to catch it because I operate in a, in a space where Like I said, I talk first, ask questions later. I will jump off the bridge and I'mma make it, but there's still a slight chance that I won't. So yeah. Everything that I've gone through, I've gone through because of me, good and bad. And yeah, this is gonna be an interesting transition, but I, I'm not beefing with no more people I don't know. I'm not beefing with no more people I don't know. I'm not the Taliban. I'm not the Taliban no more. Okay, no more. Those days are over. Those days are over. Okay, the tally man do that. They go, these people tell them, these people don't like you, and then they swear to get their lives to the cause. I'm not doing that. If I don't know you, I ain't never met you, I'ma personally wait. Other than that, I'ma keep it on the business. Now I may throw jokes and stuff. I'ma still tell my jokes like tiny kids and stuff look like dwarfs, but I'm not gonna beef with them, you understand? I'm not gonna beef with them because I don't know them. I don't have that Taliban spirit no more. Y'all remember this? It's time to pray. It's time to pray. So I guess what I want to say is, again, But I didn't mean it before. To anybody that I have personally beefed with and I've never met you, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. That's the first step. Y'all, give me, give me a moment here. This is a lot for me to process right now. I'm not expecting change overnight. I am— I'm gonna give myself some grace to be able to allow this transition to unravel. And ain't no telling what else is going to come up, especially through my therapy and stuff, but I'm not taking anything personal anymore. I don't give a damn how many lawyers hit me from whoever's team. Nothing is going to be taken personal because I don't know— if I haven't spoken to the person, I don't know. Because you got to understand, lawyers operate— even my lawyers, I have to tell them, you're getting paid for 3 hours, this 3 hours to respond, that's it. Because if not, they'll run the tab up. We done had lawyers send us fucking $17,000 bills for 3-hour conversations, 4-hour conversations. The fuck was y'all talking about on my time? And ain't shit get done. Like, you gotta understand, like, they, they keep it going. They keep the litigation going. Not on my dime. I'm sorry, not on my dime. I'm paying the lawyers. I pay now. I pay them to make shit go away. Make it go away. I better not be sitting in nobody's motherfucking courtroom. Make it go away. And I definitely better not be sitting in nobody's courtroom now with a shit I ain't even talked to. I will never go into court again unless I have a conversation with that person before we go to court, because I want to know who going to court. Is it the lawyers? Because they friends at night. I swear to God, my bankruptcy attorney and the other party's attorneys, they hang out together. They are friends. I have seen them argue in court on behalf of both of us, and then they go and have coffee and go drink together because I lived in that area. They hung out with each other. If you ask me, bro, I said, oh, y'all got me fucked up, bro. But that's the business. That's the business. So you get to talk to— the lawyers get to talk, but the clients can't talk? Oh, bitch, I will never let that happen again, ever. If I come out having a conversation with this person and they still wanna— they still wanna pursue action, because I don't have the— I don't, I don't have the energy to sue anybody. I just don't. I, I don't have time. I would rather focus on building my career And that's, that's what I've done, and it's worked. I try to get above it while you down here in all this confusion, because the only people that are winning are lawyers. I swear to God, bro. But I'm telling you, I've seen it. I've seen it happen. I've had them tell me, oh, such and such's lawyer, not a bad guy, I've hung with him, you just got to understand how he goes. And then they get it, they get in the room with us during depositions and they slamming the table, objection, but then they go out and shake each other hands because they both just made a bag. They just made a bag off of an ignorant, dumbass, pride-stricken, ego-stricken, resentful-ass Black woman that was in the 9th grade 3 years. I didn't say I did. That's not what I said. Y'all trying to get into the contents of the case. The case happened, it's over. I'm not trying to say I was wrong or right. What I'm trying to tell you is, is that me personally, in the revelation that I got for myself, you can't undo— I can't undo what happened in the past. That's not what I'm trying to do. What I'm trying to do is undo the things that got me into that situation in the past, that got me into a case. Oh, y'all see that muscle? I'm sorry, y'all see that shit? 40 4 years old. Oh my God. So, so stop. We're not going there. This is not about who's right or who's wrong. That's not what this is. This is about me. Hold on, who's— who sent that $50? Yahweh sent his son Jesus Christ for all the flaws and sins. He loves all. Let's move on. Let's love on him in peace. I thank you so much, Emperor Jesus of Christ. We're all doing this right. Let me pass the collection plate. It's not about whether I had Black attorneys or not, y'all. I've had Black attorneys, I've had white attorneys, I've had Lebanese attorneys, I've had Russian attorneys. They all the same. We are the client, we are the bag. They don't get paid unless a nigga is mad. They don't get paid unless Anuka is mad. And whatever it is that you drive from, if you are resentful, they gonna make a bag off you. They made a lot of money off me. A lot. It is their job to tell their clients, she don't like you, she would do it to you. Oh, we're, we're going to the— we're gonna take everything. All I'm saying is I am no longer— I don't care who this is, to any celebrity, any celebrity, any that's watching my platform now, cuz they all watch, they all watch. Am I beefing with you? Clarissa, I ain't got no beef with you. Jess, I ain't got no beef with you. Mona, I ain't got no beef with you. Sis-in-law, I ain't got no beef with you. I've never met you. I mean, we, we've gone to court. I've never met, um, who else? There's just so many people. Like I say, if I met you and you wronged me, then I, I could say that. Nah, man, that bitch. But that ain't even the case here, bro. Like, they are getting rich off of my ignorance, my black 9th grade in the 3 years ignorance. That shit stops today, dog. That shit stops today. See, Madison— I know Madison, that's a good example. Thank you. I know Madison, and I was hurt. I was hurt. I'm still hurt. That's why I go so hard. But even if we do decide to go to court, like I said, if, if he want to file lawsuit, then I'm not gonna— I'm not gonna sue back. It's gonna be Lynette, it's gonna be my stepdaddy, it's going to be Lameen. I just don't care what you say about me, but my mama has been waiting to sue TS Madison. That, that is the God's honest truth. I swear to God, I promise you. She said, she said what, that I let your uncle— first of all, she got it, she got it mixed up, cuz she was like, well, she said that on her platform. No, I didn't. I never said that my stepdaddy ard me or molested me. That's not what we said. See, see how you already— and then you standing 10 toes down and you're doing it maliciously to try to hurt me. I get it because I've, I've dragged you for hurting me, right? This is all just hurt. So, but you got the wrong person. One, that's, that's, that's a lie. Number one. Two, it was my uncle. And three, my mom is all over the court docs she spearheaded the case to get my uncle locked up. And I'm sure my mom after that— and the reason why she had, uh, problems coping is because how could I let something like that— or she feels like it was her fault that that happened to me. And that's not my mama's fault. My mom is not a pervert. My mom did not give nobody permission to talk. And so you using that— so I said, if that man in a wig want to sue, I'm just going to tell Lynette to go ahead and do it. Just go ahead and do it, Mama. Just go ahead and do it. Because I personally know T.S. Madison, but the other one screaming off stuff, I don't know that person. I don't know that person. I don't know. I only know what I'm told by sources, but I don't know. I have never had a conversation with this person. So All right guys, it's like 2:30 in the morning. I think I should get off, but before I get off, I'll let you guys ask me some questions. And yes, God has forgiven me. He really has. He really has. And I asked for that forgiveness, but now it's not about the forgiveness. I have to do the work personally, and I've been given this platform to do do right by people, and I want to make sure that I do right and be fair. Like, I'll give you an example. This is a true story, just happened. Some wine. So you remember we were doing the, the, uh, Michael Blackson story, how he got up one morning and posted what happened to be a trans woman that he was in the DM of on, um, on his page, on his story. And we were running that story because the trans person reached out to me and was like, I'm getting bullied, they're calling me this, they're calling me that. Him and I know each other, we've been talking, we're talking on disappearing messages. This was the trans person's account, this was their claim. Now, I've never met Michael personally. I know people that know him, but there was something Michael had to remind me of, and I had to back up just a little bit off Mike. I said, oh, he got me, y'all. He got me. Because you know me when it comes to my wine. I'm gonna pour my wine for y'all because My only loyalty is to y'all. So these celebrities, I'll be like, hey, hey, take it up with God, okay? Figure it out. Come tell your side. Do what you got to do. I don't have anything personally against you. My only job is to make sure that these winos are thirst— or their thirst is quenched, okay? So we're running the story. We actually interviewed the trans person. It got thick. Michael called my phone. Tasha? No, first he text me and I was like, what the hell? How did Michael get my number? I changed my number since then. When a celebrity gets my number, I change my number every time because I don't want them thinking that personally they can call me and get things done. That's not how it works. So you got to go through my assistant. So my— one of my agents gave Michael my number. He's Michael's agent too, so that's why Michael got my number. But he still should have asked me my permission to give my number out. So Michael called me and, why would you do that? Why would you say that? He like, that's not true. Like, all I was doing is I shared with my fans like I post their DMs. I didn't do nothing with that, that, that thing. I didn't do nothing. I got enough problems of my own with my two baby mamas. I'm in love with them and they, they both pregnant. I got enough problems. I don't have no problems for this. And I was just like, okay, but what does that have to do with the circumstances at hand? Like, we wouldn't be here if you didn't post it, Latasha. You could have called me. I was like, we did reach out to you. You said you didn't do it. Every time you said this is not true, we put it up. But why are you running this story? I said, because you posted the trans person. We wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you. Then he goes, oh, Tasha, that's fucked up. He said, and to think that I, I was the one that introduced you to the tour manager and told him to put you on tour. I said, all right, Mike, I never said thank you. And you are right. I am. I told you, when it come to business, I'm ruthless. I said, you are right. I tell you what, I'mma delete this story. I'mma delete it. But my, my wine nose be thirsty. Do not give me anything to fill their cups with. This does not mean you get a pass, sir. I'm very well, very aware of what happened and what transpired. And thank you, and I appreciate that, and it hit me deep. I said, but the next time I get come across my desk, sir, you better answer or you forever hold your peace because it's going out. But I took it down because he did help me. He did. And I'm not that type of person to, you know, to slam my door because, you know, we do that as Black people. We'll get on— people will get us on and then we'll turn around and do something that they feel like stabs them in the back. And I was like— and I never met Michael. I've never met him personally, and he did that for me. He really did. And I know y'all like, how did that happen? Well, one of my team members was sleeping with him. And so I guess during some pillow talk, she was like, you know, I work for Tasha. He was like, oh, for real? I'm a fan. It's like, yeah, she trying to get on tour. He was like, well, she can use my tour manager. He'll help her. And then with no, with no, uh, you know, I had to do this for him. This was like 3 years ago. Michael ain't never hit my phone or nothing. But I was like, but don't think because you did this, that's the reason. But I took it down for that. I said, matter of fact, I said, he's right. And I never thanked him. And I need to publicly publicly, properly thank him. I will, I will. And it wasn't Chelsea, it was somebody else. It wasn't Chelsea, um, it was somebody else on my team. But thank you. My mother-in-law gave me this. This is their prayer scarf in the Islam, uh, religion. So I put it on when I'm in deep prayer and I pray. So, um, But yeah, shout out to Michael Blackston, and I'm gonna get a chance to really thank him properly one day. So I'm just so business-oriented. I'm like, I don't be telling you how to run your business. Don't be coming over here telling me how to run my business. But I like how he didn't attack me. He didn't attack me. Yeah, I mean, he threw some shade, but he didn't attack me. And that's pretty much how you come at a person like me. Don't attack me. Just— and Katt Williams was very respectful too. Like, you know, when we had his brother on the platform and he called me. Now he was trying to exercise his celebrity, um, because he had called me at midnight and I'm on a date with my husband out in the city and he wants me to stop to talk to him. I said, sir, I get it, you need to talk now, but I'm on a date with my husband. Well, I'm not gonna be available tomorrow. I said, well then I guess we just ain't gonna talk. Okay, so he hangs up the phone. The very next day— no, I said I ain't gonna be available till tomorrow until after 12, right? Because I'm out late at night, I know what time I'm gonna wake up. So he calls me the next day exactly at 12, and this was about me interviewing his brother. And I was just like, I thought you said you weren't available. Yeah, well, I happen to be around some people and I time in my schedule to make time for you. Oh, so you was trying to exercise your celebrity on me that I had to move my schedule, sir? No, you on my time. I said, well, I got some time so we can talk. And we talked for hours. And I said, well, listen, when I get things on you, just answer the phone. I just want both sides of the story. I don't— you know, he was just like, well, at the end, like, Well, are you— am I still your favorite comedian? I was like, yeah, for now. For now. But you better keep your fucking head on a swivel, nigga. I'm equal opportunity out here. Equal opportunity. Yes, this is live, y'all. I'm live. I was like, for now. We still cool. We cool. But yes. Oh, you must be talking about that Lorie— the, the podcast, the, um, The Morning Hustle, uh, uh, with Urban One. You're talking about L'Oreal and Al? Yeah, I did their show. That was a good— that was a good interview. They cut like 40 minutes out of that interview. I was like, oh Y'all censoring me heavy. It was a lot of stuff in that interview that didn't make it. A lot. I'll tell y'all about it later, not right now, because we've been on live too long. It's almost 2 hours, I think. So, um, thank you. Let me see. You're definitely— do I have a man? Did they really just ask me that? I don't know, do I, do I have a man? Do I have a man, y'all? My son upstairs. My son is upstairs. He's not in Africa anymore. He's been with me for a year now. Um, let's see, let's see. Peaches, what you still doing up knowing you got to go to work in the morning? Okay, y'all ready for my birthday brunch? It's sold out. We in DC. Yes, we in DC. Finally we in DC. March 14th, we in DC. It's sold out. We didn't even get a chance to do the press run. We just started the press run, and by the time we started the press run, you know, to tell everybody that we, you know, it's my birthday, there's an event Y'all bought all the damn tickets already. I was like, look at me, I don't need no press, bro. So, um, but yeah, with the after-party tickets on sale though, they on sale. They on tashakonstage.com. tashakonstage.com. So they on sale. I'm gonna roll— this is my official rollout to YouTube. So, uh, Tasha K Live as VIP members, they get first dibs on the tickets always. So that's why a lot of times when y'all get the tickets, they're already— most of them are already taken because TashaKLive.com buys first because that's what they do. They pay for premium service. So yeah, to get everything first, interviews first, content first, exclusive information. That's what it is up over there. Okay, so, um, but yeah, I love you guys. And thank you for staying up with me. Any questions before we go? I'll end this at exactly in 10 minutes. No, yeah, 10 minutes. So any questions real quick before I go to sleep? Thank you for listening to me. This was therapy for me. When I talk about stuff, it's therapy for real, big time. So, but y'all gonna see that big change. That is a big change for me. That is a big change. I'm not making anything personal anymore that is business at all, and I've instructed my team to, you know, correct me on that. And I'm holding you to it too, to correct me on that. Tasha, this is Freda. I can't make it, so how can I get my gift to you? Let me— you— yeah, okay. All right, I've learned to do this. Um, I'll give you 300 Southeast 2nd Street, Fort Lauderdale, Fort Lauderdale, Florida 33301. 300 Southeast 2nd Street, Fort Lauderdale, Florida 33301. Okay, um, yes, my outfits just came in today from my stylist. So they've been ordered. Mm-hmm. We are coming to Dallas. I'll let you guys know the dates. Um, the official unlicensed. Glad I caught this live. Good talk. Thank you, Faith. How was this? Was this too much for y'all? You know, sometimes I'll be— it'd be a lot. Is this too much for y'all? Like these talks? I used to do these all the time back in the day, and then I got away from them. So I drink spring water. I drink spring water. So, but questions, questions, we got 7 minutes. Yes. Okay, you're so shocked I made a live, man. I'm so busy these days. I'm so busy. It's crazy. Uh, Anton, follow up. Ain't gonna be no follow-up unless y'all want it. I really don't want to platform them no more. Tasha, they, they're taking what you said personal like you're taking what they say personal. Okay. What kind of water do I drink? Oh, I already said that, uh, spring water. Uh, you say you up testing out this new reefer now? You ain't gonna go to sleep? Hold on for a second. I was strolling through YouTube Reels. So is this a real live time? Yes, I'm live right now. Uh, you did good. Thanks, it was a bit of therapy for me. Okay, thank you. What is your top professional goal for 2026? I'm doing it, I'm doing it. Yes, just trying to expand it, expand the voice, expand the reach. Yeah. Um, Tasha, what happened to the morning show? It's coming, it's coming. Am I stressed? No, I'm not stressed. I'm not stressed. Will you, will you ever embark on the Kanika Jika's case to speak to her mother? Is that something you don't want to touch on? I don't think her mom is in a mental space right now to, to speak with, but I— Kanika Jika's mom could always have a place over here to talk. About everything. So yeah. Have you heard of Ali Carter? If so, would you be interested in interviewing her? I haven't heard about her. Can you email me, you know, who she is and why would I interview her? Never heard of her. Uh, what are your thoughts on the search on that white lady, all their resources they used to look for? I think she buried close to the house like, um, Casey Anthony's daughter was. Mm-hmm. This is honestly a word for me. I'm 23 and going through some changes in my life, and me and my mom are at odds a lot, but I'm trying to focus on my career and education and new direction. Praying for you, Nate. How you saying? Nepeta Moon, you will get through this. Just always, just always stay focused on things that bring out the best in you. If you're not bringing out the best in you, just leave that shit alone, because that's when it does start to get personal and you self-sabotage. Do I have anxiety? Not anymore. I used to. All right, um, what's the dress code for the party? Anything y'all want to wear. You know I'm coming dressed up, I'm coming fly, it's my birthday, I got to take pictures with y'all, so I'm coming fly. You know, we are doing— it is like a, a pinkish kind of reddish theme. So, you know, dress up, cuz you going to be on pictures. Everybody that bought tickets get a picture. What happened tonight to make me want to change? It's what happened today. I've been in prayer and God gave me this, you know. I think it's been something that I prayed about, which was change and reflection, and to show me my shortcomings so that I can fix them. So yeah, um, will you ever consider doing live, live in-person shows? Miss Kathy, we've been on tour for 3 years now. Yes, we've been doing that. Stay tuned for the tour dates coming soon. I just signed a new tour deal with a new agency. So I can relate to you when you said you had to start all over from the beginning after getting fired. I'm now starting over and I'm just so stuck. I know it's terrible. And I think certain things too, like, I'm a personal believer in if something is for you, it'll just happen. But if you keep finding yourself back down that same cycle, then it's not for you. You know, you may be asked to be taking a different direction. You could be wanting to go this way, but God is personally putting you in these situations so you'll be forced to go somewhere else. And that's what happened. Look at where I am. I was trying to make the restaurant industry thing work. My grandmother spoke against it. Um, I thought it was a great career. I was making money. My, my child was good, you know, like, marriage was good, like, but then it didn't work out. I lost everything. So I had no choice but to focus on me and developing me, and look where I am now. So don't take it as like you're stuck. Just figure out how to free yourself. Yeah. I love you, Tasha. Let's make amends. Who is this? It must be a troll page. Okay. What is the reason men are attracted to you? Because I am, and I don't mean any disrespect. What question are you asking me, Jordan? I don't get that at all. After you say I'm sorry, you have to forgive yourself for the things you've done. I know that's the next phase. I gotta forgive myself. I gotta forgive others. Is, you know. So yeah, Tasha, I sent you a really interesting story about Savannah. The city blamed the victim after the mother lost her leg. Okay, I'll look at that. It's in my— it's in my inbox on Wine with Tasha K. I know it may be annoying to ask, but any updates on the DL Whisperer? Okay, his team, his legal team have reached out to me. We were supposed to talk last week. I didn't get a chance to make the call. I was so busy. We will try to get on the phone with him, um, because we had to download some software in order to do it. They're not doing the jail collect calls no more, they're doing video calls. So I gotta download the software to talk to him. And then of course his lawyers are screening heavy because they don't want him to get into any situations that put him in that. So, um, any advice for female podcasters that wants to be like you? Don't be like me. Rule number 1: be you. Do not be like me. Be you. Highlight that part of you that you want to share, and people will, will connect with you. When am I coming back to Boston? When it's warm. What is one— a suggested lane for content creators? A lane that you're great at, something you can do in your sleep. I could do this in my sleep. See how I'm up talking to y'all this late about deep personal layers of my life? What is your advice for someone wanting to join YouTube? Create a Gmail account and hit go live. I'm having to live with a person that stole my whole paycheck. Life, life in for me out here. You inspire and distract me from stuff. Thank you. Yes, God knows what he's doing. Thank you so much. Do you plan on returning to Tommy T's? Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. Do you feel— how do you feel about for adult acne? Um, you need sea masks, like Dead Sea masks. You also need microneedling. Um, random, I watched your old interview in Larry Reid page the other day. I'm surprised he still got it up. Tasha, keep your— keep up your spirits over there. I was watching you the other day and my shade fell off the window. Remember that live years ago in your bedroom and the curtain fell? Right, I thought a ghost was in there. I'll catch you on tour. Those shoes were so fun. Absolutely. I'm just answering y'all questions real quick. Let me see, man, y'all got so many. Now, Tasha, can you talk about Tyrone Davis case from Gainesville, Florida? I don't know about Tyrone Davis case. I don't know. Y'all got to email me this stuff and I'll get to know Mr. Davis. I didn't know Oliver Grant from Wu-Tang Clan passed away from pancreatic cancer either. May his family find peace. For real, may his family find peace. That's terrible. Oh, well, thank you so much, Jordan. I appreciate that. Um, I love you, Tasha. You're funny as hell. Thank you so much. I must be in Atlanta. I'm in Florida. Yes, will I ever do a group trip or a group cruise? We doing a group birthday party. We do everything in groups. What you talking about? We the wine hoes. That's why we in DC on the 14th. Tashakayonstage.com. The after-party tickets is up. What's up? And then when we leave there, we trying to find a Waffle House in the hood. We're gonna leave the after-party and go to the Waffle House. We finna crash that bitch. Absolutely. Make sure you get them tees. Did you have visibility issues, fear, shame when you started your channel, or did you focus on your message that you— I had all that shit, bro. I had all that, but I was never shy in front of the camera anything. I had worked in radio, so I've done TV in the past, so I wasn't— but of course everybody prejudges themselves and overanalyzes and overthinks. That's normal, you know. But then it's just one— you just got to let it go. You got to let it go. Can you tell us something about an interview you never told us? What you mean? I tell y'all everything. Oh, thank you, Valerie. Welcome to the Wine No Game, Valerie. Uh, what's your name? Valerie Smith. Okay. Tasha, where your wine at? I want to see you drink some. You'll see me drink some at my birthday brunch. Yes, I'm not drinking until the birthday brunch. I'm trying to find a Waffle House in the hood or IHOP in the hood on March 14th. After my after-party. So we leaving after-party at 2 and we're going to the Waffle House or, or the IHOP. We gonna be one of those in that bitch, okay? Now hold on, any more questions? Hold on. Oh, I love you guys, I love you guys, I love you guys. Yes, you can go to this site now and buy that ticket. You better go now, True Empress, right now. Tashakayonstage.com. There's only one that came available. So what I'm asking the winos to do— they trying to resell. Winos is buying my tickets and trying to offer them at a resale value to sell them higher. I said don't be doing that with my tickets. Stop that shit. You better go to the site now, Empress, and get it right now. If it's not there, there'll be another one that comes available tomorrow. So, um, I don't have a Cash App. I wish, but I ain't got one. Anton didn't set you up. Happy birthday. Okay, listen, I love you guys. I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go to sleep now. I gotta get up early. Mm-hmm. Bye. And if anybody cut this live, it's fine. Just tell them if they're in the comments, y'all gotta watch the whole live. There was a lot said. You know how they like to clickbait and, you know, run with that damn narrative. So help me, help me, help me, okay? Please. I love y'all. Now I gotta go. Bye. Get your ass over to them damn tickets. Bye, y'all. Before they gone.