How profound loss inspired me to double down on building a life worth living

People often ask me, hey, Terry, you know, why did you leave the corporate world? You know, you worked at Adobe, you worked at Facebook, all these great companies. The truth is, when I worked in corporate, I was cocky, I was reckless. And the first time I really felt like lit up in where I was meant to be is when I was teaching. It felt like an art. Normally when I tell the story of my journey, I'm on stage delivering my keynote about how to develop a money mindset. But I just felt an opportunity to just be more real. The reason why I made this change is because my son died. My name is Terry Rice. I'm a biz dev consultant, keynote speaker, podcast host, and I am a creator. Throughout my life, there have been things that I've done that seem great, seem extraordinary. Like I was a college athlete. You know, I worked at Adobe, worked at Facebook, didn't really like any of that stuff. A lot of it was ego driven. I would love it when I was at parties and people asked me what I would, what I do so I could say, oh, I work at Facebook, right? But I wasn't as responsible with myself, my body, my health. And I was drinking every night. And as you can imagine, that took a toll. Took a toll on my health, my performance. So often I would leave a job before I got fired or just get fired. The same time I found out that my wife was pregnant with her first child. So like, great. I'm still spinning out of control and I have a kid on the way, which is not a good combination to have. That was just the wake up call. When I started working out, I stopped drinking and just worked on more personal development before the professional development. So after getting laid off, I could have tried to get another job, right? But people are going to wonder, like, why did you leave Facebook After a year and a half, you know, what's going on? What's your deal? I didn't want to have those conversations and I don't think I was ready to go back to corporate now, realizing I was never ready to even be in corporate. So I figured, you know what? I'm going to do consulting. So it took about 18 months to feel like things were actually working and I would have predictable income and wasn't worried so much all the time. And one reason why that works so well is because. Because I was teaching marketing and business classes at a school called General Assembly. The first time I really felt lit up and purpose driven. And where I was meant to be is when I was teaching. And it's my first time Teaching, which they didn't know, fortunately, but there's like, 30 people in the room looking at me. All walks of life, all ages, but they're looking at me because they wanted me to share information that would help them get a better job or do better in their current job. And that responsibility felt great, and it felt like an art, because when I deliver content, I'm not just, like, reading my slides or anything like that. I'm performing. That's what lights me up. And it was wonderful because I was literally getting paid to prospect people, come there, learn from me, and then hire me. Things were going pretty well. It's like, wow, you know, making over six figures. Like, you know, second year of my business, things are going great, and I finally felt comfortable, like, I was getting in better shape, things were more stable, like, things were going to work out okay. When my daughter was about nine months old, we found out that we were pregnant with my son, T.J. and I'm like, okay, great. This is. This is the thing, right? We're gonna have a family. And I still remember the picture of her with, like, this bib on. It says, big sister, and she's reading a book that says, big sisters are the best. Right? It's like a cute picture. So the whole time that he's on the way, like, I'm just trying to really build my business because I want to take time off for once with my daughter. I didn't take any time off with him. I'm like, you know, I'll take a month off. I'm gonna really just do the paternity leave thing. Things were going well with the business. I was like, wow, this is actually working. And I was getting better as a dad, too. And I Remember it was May 29th of 2017. My wife and I are walking with our daughter. We're going to the park and all this stuff. And she starts having contractions, and we're like, okay, cool. It's game time. Because at this point, he's 37 and a half weeks, and I'm like, all right, he's gonna come early, right? You know, this is how it goes. So I'll make all the arrangements, get the baby city there. There to watch my. My daughter, you know, rush off to the hospital. They hook her up to the, you know, the machines. And I'll never forget the look on the doctor's face, like, when he looked up so he couldn't hear anything, and he just said, look, this is a very serious situation, and couldn't detect a heartbeat, right? So like, okay, we're going to try another machine real quick just to make sure it's not the machine. And in my head, I'm like, oh, this is going to work. Still didn't work, right? So still in a heartbeat. And in that moment, I just said to myself, you're about to have the worst night of your life. And I did. My wife delivers my son, and I'm holding him, and I'm like, hold my breath as tight as I can. I'm like, let me see if I can, you know, feel him breathing a little bit, right? Maybe something's wrong. Maybe the machines are still working. So I'm like, holding, holding, holding, holding, like, almost about to pass out because I don't want to breathe, because I want to see. I want to feel if he does. And, you know, he didn't. But one thing I'm proud of is I never gave up hope that maybe, maybe, maybe this will still work out, and it didn't. I think that one of the toughest parts for anyone who goes to any parent is the car ride back when you have to look in the back seat and you see the empty baby seat there, and it's like a reminder of what you thought the journey back would be. This is my son's grave, and it's rare for anyone to see their own name in a tombstone, right? And I remember at his funeral, I'm carrying his casket and handing him over to the pallbearer so they could put him in the ground. And the guy kind of, like, snatched the casket from me. And I was hurt, you know, because I'm like, you know, I lost my son, and this is the last time I'm ever gonna hold him. And, you know, you're just kind of snatching it from me. But what I later realized is, like, how long would I have held it? You know, forever wouldn't have been long enough, obviously, losing him, I was upset because of all the things I wanted him to be. And I would say it's a reminder. Well, hey, all that stuff that you wanted him to be, you do it, right? You want to. You want him to have a big impact in the world, you do it. You want him to help people, you do it. I think resilience starts with acceptance. And you have to realize this thing happened, and I think people exhaust themselves and waste time trying to go around it, trying to go over it. You got to go through it. So as soon as you realize this happened and I can't do anything about it, you realize I have full Control over everything that happens next, including my perception and my reaction and my endurance. What it looked like for me was initially solitude, where I just didn't want anyone to say anything about anything because everyone tries their best, right? But you can't tell people behave exactly this way or I'm going to get upset, right? So I'm like, no one owes me anything in this case except respect and distance. So that's how I got through it. And then I just really leaned heavily into fitness. I went to the gym, and the cool thing was, is I was able to be around people again who didn't know my backstory. I just wanted to be around people but not answer all the questions and get the weird looks. So I started doing CrossFit, and it was great, like, just, you know, being able to be my old self again, like the charismatic, sarcastic guy who's just trying to get a workout in. And to this day, I mean, that's still my community. But the majority of people don't know this story whatsoever. They don't know why I showed up. They just know I did. And it's been about six years. On the way back from my first class, I'm like, okay, I'm doing something different. I want to keep on doing something different. So I'm going to walk back on a different side of the street than I normally do. I kid you not. As I'm walking back, I look down, I see my name written in concrete. And I was like, holy cow. That's not a sign that you're on the right path. You know what is? And encouraged me to keep on taking opportunities like that going forward. So when I first started my business, it was all time for money. I was doing pure consulting, and that worked well enough, but after a while, you run out of time, right? You still want more money. I realized I don't want to necessarily just do client work because that's tedious, right? Like, you always have someone who's going to be unhappy and, like, you know, you're getting interrupted all times of the night. I wanted to be a creator because the benefit of creating is you create content and people can consume it asynchronously and still get value from it. And also, when you're going through some stuff, you don't have to be out there live all the time. You can just post some content, drop a newsletter, whatever it is, you're still sharing your gifts while you're recharging, right? So again, you don't have to do more to be more. So from there, I started creating online courses. But I was so cocky when I made my first online course. It was a Facebook course. And I thought to myself, look, I worked at Facebook. I'm teaching Facebook Facebook courses all the time at General assembly and all these other places. It's going to blow up. It blew up in my face because I did not have an email list to sell to. I was just talking about it on social media, buy my course, buy my course, so on, so forth, and it flopped. I fumbled that opportunity solely because I did not have an email list. I was on mailchimp for a while because I feel like that was the thing to do, right? But what I like to do whenever I have to make a decision is I look for people who I respect and see what decisions they've made. So I looked at a few of my favorite creators and I looked to see what kind of email marketing platform they're using. So Pat Flynn, I looked ConvertKit, Dori Clark, ConvertKit, a few other people, ConvertKit. I'm like, those are the people that I aspire to be like. So I'm just gonna follow their lead and use that program. And that's why I switched over to ConvertKit and have been super happy with it. I was taking my daughter to a gym class here in Brooklyn, and I walk in and I see Jason Pfeiffer, who's the editor chief of Entrepreneur magazine. I'm like, holy cow, that's Jason Pfeiffer. I gotta talk to the guy, right? But I couldn't find a good way to break up the conversation he was having with his wife. So finally I'm like, look, I gotta say something. Because often that window of opportunity is so small and closes so quickly. If you don't get on it, it's gone. So I just said to him, hey, man, I like your podcast. He's like, you know who I am? I'm like, yeah, you're the guy, you know, because I've been following him on social media for years. We exchanged information. A week later, we had coffee together and we're just talking about business and entrepreneurship and all this stuff. And he identified a need that they had an entrepreneur for someone to help with marketing because their lead marketing person was gone for a while. A week later, I'm talking to the whole senior team there. They're like, oh, can you help us do this? Can you help us do that? Can you help us do this? I'm like, yes. They're like, oh, and we're going to let you be a published author. So writing for entrepreneur has changed my life. But one thing I was very clear about with myself is I'm not going to let the entrepreneurial logo become my identity. Because when I worked at Facebook, when I worked at Adobe, that was my identity, right? And I said, that's never going to happen again. Doesn't matter who I'm working with or who I'm working for. That will not define me. That said, it was pretty freaking cool because I can write about whatever I want, get it published by this major organization, and reach thousands of people. I eventually was offered the opportunity to write a book about starting a consulting business, which came out in 2020. But then another thing I started doing is I wanted to make more video content. So I started doing that for some of my articles. And eventually entrepreneurs, like, do you just want to, like, have, like, a video or podcast thing going on? And I'm like, yes, I do. Like, I've been trying to find a way, you know, to bring this up, so. So that's been great because it gives me access to a lot of really smart people. Like, I was talking to, like, Shaquille o', Neal, Rosario Dawson, Daymond John. I was hired to speak at Craft and Commerce, this event put on by ConvertKit. And the day before, there was this private mastermind. It wasn't one of those corny masterminds, like, here's how you make more money, bro. We got really deep into just the emotion behind being a creator, some of the frustrations and supporting each other through that process. There was this one gentleman there who never felt like, sufficient because he grew up poor, and even though he's doing well now, always had this child inside of him that felt less than. And other people struggling, saying, hey, you know, people think I'm making all this money and I'm not. Like, literally tears coming from people's eyes. And that made me feel comfortable to be more open. And I'm on stage delivering my keynote about how to develop a money mindset. And normally when I tell the story of my journey from beginning to where I'm at now, I just say, hey, I wanted to make a change in my business, and that's why I went into business consulting. But based on what happened the day before, I just felt an opportunity to just be more real and say, the reason why I made this change is because my son died. And my perception of what I wanted for my life going forward changed drastically. And that's when the connection with the audience really, really picked up. So that moment was extremely transformational. And I was like, I can't go back to anything I've done before. After this moment, I can't go back to the guy who's just saying the nuts and bolts of business. There's so much more. Sometimes the only way is through that pain and sharing it, right? So it's like this paradox where you think, oh, I'll talk about it later. No, talk about it now. Whatever way you feel comfortable, talk about it now. And you'll be amazed how people rally to support you. Because after I got off that stage, so many people came running over to me saying, oh, my God, that was amazing. So on so forth. But one woman really stood out to me. She said, look, this was great, because unfortunately, my friend is burying her son today. His name is also TJ and you telling that story on stage, I relayed that to her, and it gave her some comfort. But if I didn't share that pain, I would not have been able to help her. Right? So we all have these stories inside of us that we're afraid to share for one reason or another. Yes, it is going to feel uncomfortable, but when you share, it cuts the pain in half and doubles the joy. And you'll be amazed at the opportunities that come up, too, because people give you opportunities because they feel connected with to you. And they can't feel connected if you're hiding behind some manufactured, personal brand. And that's why I feel strongly that character branding is more important than personal branding. Especially in the age of AI when you can manufacture so many things, but you can't fake character, right? You can't fake your stories and the way that you treat other people. And if you don't share your full story and your experience, you won't get those opportunities. And if you're afraid to express them publicly, you're going to have challenges, too. So the sooner you can start sharing your experiences, your ups and downs, whatever it is, what you've learned, the faster that you'll grow. I mean, that's the hallmark of being a creator. It's creating good opportunities and good experiences for people. So after losing my son, which is obviously a challenging time, I was literally looking at his tombstone, right? And he has the same name as me, Terrence junior. It's impossible to look at your own tombstone and not think, how do I want to be remembered? What legacy do I want to leave behind? And the impact I want to have is helping other people live in their vision. And that's the gift that this whole experience gave me, is the ability to help other people, your time is limited, right? We got one life. You want a situation like this to change you, but not make you bitter towards other people or just feel like a victim. And I'm glad to share this story because by using my gifts and my pain to direct that towards helping other people and empowering them to help others, there's a multiplier effect where the worst moment of my life helped people I'll never meet have a better life. And that's the legacy that my son can leave behind.