Deep Dive Podcast of The ABC of Success

Hey everyone. Welcome back for another deep dive. Today we're tackling something pretty big. Success.

Success.

What it actually means, how we achieve it, and maybe even more importantly, how emotional intelligence plays into all of it. We'll be digging into some insights from Jim Rees.

Okay.

He's a keynote speaker and expert in emotional intelligence. And we've got a couple of his videos that we're going to really dissect today. So get ready for some aha moments. I think you'll be surprised by some of the stuff we uncover. Like, did you know that self awareness is actually incredibly rare?

It is.

Or that even someone like Thomas Edison relied heavily on resilience to reach his goals.

Yeah. So, you know, we often talk about the steps to success.

Right.

You gotta have a to do list. Gotta have your goals.

Yeah.

But without the right mindset, it's almost like you're trying to build a house without a foundation.

Oh, I like that. No foundation, no house.

Yeah.

And it seems like that's kind of what Reese is getting at with his ABCs of success model. At least in this first video he starts with a awareness. And I have to admit, his example of Mr. Magoo just cracked me up. You know that cartoon character.

Yeah, yeah.

Just bumbling into everything. Totally oblivious.

Totally.

It's hilarious. But also kind of makes you think, like, wait, am I doing that sometimes?

Right. And that's the thing about awareness. It's sneaky. We think think we're self aware, we think we're paying attention, but are we? When was the last time you actually like stepped back and observed your own behavior? Like how am I impacting others? How am I coming across?

It's true.

Reese calls it sleepwalking through life. And it's only when we wake up, you know, when we become aware that we can actually start making conscious choices to actually change things.

Okay, so we need a little less Mr. Magoo in our lives for sure.

A little less Mr. Magoo.

But then Reese moves on to be beliefs and this is where things get really interesting. He calls beliefs human flypaper. Like these ideas that we pick up sometimes when we're really young.

Yeah.

That just stick with us and they shape how we see the world and our experiences. Yeah. And he even quotes Henry Ford, you know, whether you think you can or you think you can't. You're right.

Yeah.

It's powerful, right? It is powerful because it really highlights how our beliefs can actually become self fulfilling prophecies.

Totally. Let's say you have this belief that you're bad at public speaking.

Okay. Yeah.

Every time you have to give a presentation, that belief is going to pop up. You're going to feel anxious. You might even avoid practicing.

Oh, yeah.

And then guess what? The presentation doesn't go well and it just reinforces that belief. So it's like this vicious.

That is kind of unsettling, but it makes total sense.

Yeah.

So how do we break free from those negative beliefs?

Yeah.

Identifying them feels like the first step, but that seems hard enough.

Yeah, that's the first step and it's definitely the hardest. It takes a lot of self reflection, a lot of honesty, but you gotta start paying attention to that inner voice. Like, what are the stories you're telling yourself? What are you saying to yourself when you're facing a challenge? Are you automatically assuming the worst?

Right.

And what, once you bring those beliefs to the surface, you can start questioning them. Are they based on facts or are they just old programming?

You know, it's like becoming a detective of your own mind.

Totally. And you have to become a scientist of your own mind.

Okay, so we've identified these limiting beliefs. Then what? What's the next step? How do we actually go about changing them?

So it's all about reframing. Reframing those negative thoughts with more empowering ones. Okay, so instead of saying, I'm bad at public speaking, you can shift to I'm willing to learn and improve.

Okay. Yeah.

It might feel awkward at first, but with practice, those new beliefs can start to take root.

So it's like fake it till you make it kind of thing.

Exactly. And that's where the C comes in for commitment. Commitment is the driving force. It's the thing that pushes us through those obstacles, helps us reach our goals. Rees uses this analogy of, like, resetting and recalibrating when things get tough. And I think that's so important. Yeah, we all hit roadblocks, but it's our commitment that determines whether we give up or find a new path forward.

He makes it sound so simple though, right? Like, oh, just be committed and you'll succeed. But we both know it's not always that easy.

It's not.

There are setbacks, there are doubts. There are moments where you just want to throw in the towel. So how do we stay committed when things get really tough?

Well, commitment isn't about blind optimism. You, you know, it's not just like, oh, everything's going to be great. It's about resilience. It's about perseverance and this willingness to keep going even when it's hard. Think about a Time when you stayed committed to something, even when you face challenges. How did it feel when you actually achieved that goal, that sense of accomplishment, that knowledge that you didn't give up? That's the power of commitment.

Yeah. And that feeling's addictive.

It is addictive.

It makes all the struggle worth it. Okay, speaking of things that are absolutely crucial for success, let's talk about emotional intelligence. In his second video, Rees really dives into this fascinating topic.

Yeah.

And he drops a statistic that honestly kind of blew my mind. He says 85% of financial success is linked to emotional intelligence skills.

85%.

So huge, right?

That's wild. Yeah.

It really challenges this old idea that IQ is the most important factor. It's like we're finally starting to realize that emotional intelligence, these so called soft skills, might actually be the key to thriving in today's world.

They are the key. And it makes sense when you think about the demands of the modern workplace. Constant collaboration, rapid change, pressure to perform. It's a lot.

It's a lot. It's like we need a whole new set of tools to navigate all of this.

We do.

And that's where emotional intelligence comes in. It's not just about being nice or having good people skills. It's about understanding. Understanding and managing your own emotions. It's about reading social cues. It's about building strong relationships. It's like a superpower.

It's a superpower. And one of the most fundamental components of emotional intelligence, like the base of it all, is self awareness.

Yeah. And that's something that most people think they have but actually don't.

Exactly.

Rees mentions this research finding that 95% of people believe they're self aware, but only 10, 15% actually are.

10, 15%.

That's a huge gap. It's like we're walking around with blinders on, totally unaware of how our behavior impacts those around us.

Absolutely. And that lack of self awareness can create all sorts of problems, both personally and professionally. Misunderstandings, conflicts, missed opportunities. It's like trying to navigate a maze in the dark.

So how do we bridge that gap? How can we cultivate true self awareness and start seeing ourselves more clearly?

Well, one of the most powerful tools is feedback. We often have blind spots that we can't see ourselves, but others can. They can be uncomfortable to hear, but that feedback can be so valuable in helping us grow.

Okay. Yeah. It takes courage to ask for feedback, especially if you're not sure what you're going to hear. But it seems like that's a key step in Developing this whole emotional intelligence thing.

It is. And it's not just about seeking feedback from others. It's also about paying attention to our own internal cues, like what are our emotions trying to tell us? What are those triggers? What sets us off? The more we understand our own emotional landscape, the better we can manage it and the better we can build relationships.

Yeah, that makes sense. So it's like we have to be aware of what's going on inside and how that impacts what's going on outside.

Exactly.

Interesting. All right, well, we've covered a lot of ground already. What else did Reese have to say about emotional intelligence?

Well, there's a lot more to unpack, like self regulation, social awareness, and how these all tie into leadership.

Oh, that sounds fascinating. All right, we'll dig into all of that after a quick break.

Welcome back. It's amazing to think that something like financial success is so closely tied to emotional intelligence.

I know. That 85% statistic really got me thinking. It's like we spend so much time focusing on our iq, our technical skills.

Right.

But maybe those aren't the only things that matter, especially in today's world, which feels increasingly complex.

Absolutely. Thank you. Think about it. Constant collaboration, adapting to change, the pressure to perform. It's a lot.

Yeah, it's a lot.

That's where emotional intelligence becomes crucial.

It's like those soft skills are actually the secret weapons we need to thrive.

Exactly. And if we think of emotional intelligence as a toolkit.

Okay.

Self awareness is just the first tool. It's about knowing your strengths, your weaknesses, your emotions, how you come across to others. But there's so much more to it than that.

Okay, so what are some of the other tools in this emotional intelligence kit? Reese mentioned self regulation, for example. What exactly does that mean?

So self regulation is the ability to manage your emotions effectively, especially in tough situations.

Okay.

It's not about suppressing your feelings.

Right.

It's about being aware of them, processing them, and choosing how you respond. Think about it. Someone with high self regulation, they can experience frustration, disappointment, but they don't let those emotions completely take over. They don't sabotage their work or their relationships because of it.

So it's like having that pause button.

Yes.

That ability to take a breath before reacting.

Exactly. Stay calm, think clearly, choose the right action.

That's resilience too, right?

Absolutely. Bouncing back from those setbacks without dwelling on the negative.

Yeah. It's like that saying, you can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.

Yeah.

You're still experiencing the emotion but you're not letting it drown.

You love that analogy. And then beyond managing our own emotions, there's the ability to understand and empathize with others. Reese calls this social awareness.

So it's like reading the room, picking up on those nonverbal cues, sensing what someone else is feeling, even if they're not saying it out loud.

Precisely. Being attuned to the emotional states of those around you. It's essential for strong relationships, fostering collaboration and effective leadership. Because leadership isn't just about giving orders. It's about inspiring and motivating people, understanding their perspectives and creating an environment where everyone can thrive.

Yeah. That makes me think about the part of Rees's research where he asked about the qualities of peak performers.

Yeah.

And it turns out so many of them. Being a good listener, being inspiring, being flexible, they're all tied to emotional intelligence.

Isn't that fascinating? It shows that these soft skills are anything but soft. They're absolutely foundational.

Yeah. And Reza also talked about how developing emotional intelligence can actually reduce anxiety and boost self esteem.

Absolutely. It's all interconnected. When you understand and manage your emotions, it creates a sense of inner peace, confidence that spills over into everything you do. You're less reactive, you're more resilient.

So it really does seem like emotional intelligence is this key to unlocking a more fulfilling and successful life, both personally and professionally. But here's a question I've been thinking about. If emotional intelligence is so crucial, why isn't it emphasized more in our education system? Why are we so focused on IQ when these soft skills seem to matter so much?

It's a great question. And I think there's a growing awareness that our education system needs to evolve. For so long, the focus has been on cognitive abilities. You know, reading, writing, math. And while those are important, they're only part of the picture. We need to equip young people with the skills to navigate their emotions, to build healthy relationships, and to thrive in this increasingly complex world.

It's like we're sending them out into the world with only half a toolkit.

Exactly. That's why it's so encouraging to see more and more schools incorporating social emotional learning programs.

Oh, that's great.

They're realizing that these skills are just as important, if not more so. And the great thing is, unlike iq, emotional intelligence can be developed.

Oh, that's good news.

It can be strengthened over time so.

We can all become more emotionally intelligent no matter where we're starting from.

Exactly.

But where do we begin? How do we actually start Boosting our ei.

There are so many resources out there. Books, workshops, online courses, coaching. But even starting with small conscious steps can make a big difference. Like start paying attention to your emotional triggers. What sets you off? What are your reactions? Once you're aware of those patterns, you can experiment with different ways of responding.

So it's about becoming more mindful of our own emotional landscape and then finding healthier ways to navigate it.

Exactly. And it's an ongoing process. It's not a one time fix. The more we practice self awareness, self regulation, empathy, the stronger those skills become. And rewards are incredible.

Speaking of rewards, I'm curious to hear your thoughts on something Reese said about leadership. He mentioned this idea of leaders creating a fear culture within an organization, which sounds incredibly damaging. What did you make of that?

That's a crucial point. When leaders lack emotional intelligence, especially self awareness and empathy, it can create a toxic environment where people are afraid to speak up.

It's like those leaders are the opposite of the peak performers he described.

Exactly. Instead of inspiring, they shut people down. And that stifles innovation, creativity. Think about it. If you're constantly worried about making a mistake, are you going to be your most productive?

Definitely not. You'd be too afraid to take any risks.

Exactly. So it's crucial for leaders at all levels to cultivate their emotional intelligence. It's not just about their own success. It's about creating a thriving environment for everyone around them.

It's like that ripple effect he talked about. A leader's emotional state can impact an entire organization.

Absolutely. So investing in leadership programs focused on emotional intelligence, that that can have a huge impact.

This has been such a fascinating conversation. We've gone from the ABCs of success to emotional intelligence in the workplace.

It's a big topic.

It really is. And it's clear that emotional intelligence isn't just a buzzword. It's fundamental. It can make or break our success.

I completely agree. And it's a conversation that needs to continue. As we explore the complexities of the world, emotional intelligence becomes even more essential.

To navigating challenges, building those strong relationships, and creating a more fulfilling future.

Absolutely.

Welcome back to our deep dive into success and emotional intelligence. It's amazing how much we've uncovered already, but I feel like we've only just scratched the surface.

I know, right? There's just so much to explore. And what keeps sticking with me is that this whole idea of emotional intelligence isn't just some fixed trait you're born with. It's something we can all work on. We can Develop it, we can cultivate it.

It's like we have this incredible power within us to actually become more emotionally intelligent.

We do.

And by doing that, we can learn to really navigate our emotions, build stronger relationships, and ultimately create a more fulfilling life for ourselves.

Exactly. And the beautiful thing is that even small changes can make a huge impact. As we become more aware of our own emotions and how they affect those around us, it just naturally creates a more positive and compassionate environment for everyone.

Yeah. Reese talked about how destructive a fear based culture can be, especially in the workplace.

Right.

But it seems like that applies to just about any aspect of life. Families, communities, even society as a whole.

Oh, absolutely. When fear is the driving force, it creates this sense of scarcity, competition, distrust. It shuts down communication, stifles creativity, and prevents us from truly connecting with each other on a deeper level.

It's like that saying, fear contracts, love expands.

Ooh, I like that.

When we're operating from a place of fear, we close ourselves off to possibilities. But when we lead with empathy and compassion, we open ourselves up to so much more connection and growth.

I love that. And it makes me think about how we can all be agents of change in this way. Spreading emotional intelligence like a virus. But a good virus.

Right. Imagine a world where emotional intelligence is actually valued as much as iq.

Wouldn't that be amazing?

Where leaders prioritize empathy and collaboration.

Yes.

Where workplaces foster psychological safety. And where individuals feel empowered to just express themselves authentically.

It sounds like a utopia.

I know, right?

But I genuinely believe it's possible.

Me too.

And it all starts with each of us taking responsibility for our own emotional growth.

Well, and the good news is, we've already explored some practical tools for boosting our emotional intelligence.

We have. We've talked about paying attention to those emotional triggers, seeking feedback from others, practicing self regulation techniques.

Right. And let's not forget the power of self reflection.

Yes.

Taking that time to just pause, check in with ourselves, ask questions like, what am I feeling right now? What's causing this emotion? How can I respond in a way that aligns with my values and goals?

Those are such powerful questions.

Yeah. And I also loved what Reese said about how every interaction is an opportunity to. To leave someone in a more positive state than they were before.

Such a good point.

It's a powerful reminder that even the smallest acts of kindness, compassion, understanding can make a world of difference.

It really is. It's about shifting our focus from what can I get to what can I give?

Right.

And when we approach our interactions with a genuine desire to connect, to listen, to truly understand, we create that ripple effect of positivity that extends far beyond ourselves.

So, as we wrap up this incredible deep dive, I want to leave you, our listener, with one question.

Okay, I'm intrigued. What's the question?

What's one small step you can take this week to boost your own emotional intelligence?

Ooh, good one.

It could be anything. It could be practicing active listening, setting healthy boundaries, simply being more mindful of your emotional responses.

Whatever it is, commit to it.

Yeah.

Even the smallest changes can create big results.

And who knows? Maybe you'll inspire someone else to do the same.

That's the power of it. It's contagious.

Well, this has been an incredible journey.

It really has.

Thank you so much for joining us on this deep dive into the world of success and emotional intelligence.

It's been a pleasure.

Until next time, keep exploring, keep learning, keep growing.

And remember, true success starts from within.