The Journey From Desperation To Inspiration In A Glass Elevator

Hey, it's Mark Podolski, the land geek with your favorite niche real estate website, www.thelandgeek.com. and I'm really excited for today's guest. I was on his podcast and he's just a great guy. But before we talk to our guest, I would be remiss if I didn't properly introduce my co host, Scott Todd from scotttodd.net landmodo.com and most importantly, not automating your Craigslist postings post and your Facebook postings. Postingdomination.com the landscott. Are you ready for this podcast?

I'm ready, Mark.

Let's go. All right, our guest is Jeff Nicholson and Jeff has an interesting story. Late 2000, he suffered a bout of viral meningitis, which is the start of his journey through his own hell. He recovered, but within a year was struck again. This triggered a series of severe stress related conditions that caused him to go to bed, bound for years, sleeping almost 20 hours a day like a, like a real time, like Rip Van Winkle, followed by a further four being housebound. He struggled with depression, anxiety, guilt, and many other debilitating mental and physical conditions including severe lethargy, chronic migraines, racking muscular pain, poor concentration and memory. Now, 2006, his life gets better and wait, no, he doesn't get that much better actually. He wants to kill himself, then it gets better. Things do get better and he becomes a different person. He works with people all over the world, entrepreneur, CEOs, other high performing professionals through his coaching, mentoring, training, speaking. He's a big deal. Jeff Nicholson, welcome to the Art of Passive Income podcast.

Thank you very much for having me, Scott. Mark, Lovely, lovely to be on the show.

All right, so I don't think I did your story much justice there. Kind of rewind, rewind. Can I even say rewind the tape and take us back to those dark days.

Yeah.

So how you got out of it?

Yeah, so it really, it really started. I was never really good at dealing with the stress side of things, mainly because my belief was men don't talk about their issues. They keep it, you know, they keep it a secret and everything else. And I noticed in the year 2000 that I was ill a lot. I was having to be off work, I was getting viruses and all sorts of things. And then all of a sudden, November 5, which in the UK we celebrate Guy Fawkes night, which is fireworks. And I was rushed to hospital with viral meningitis, was spent 24 hours in hospital, came out, thought everything was great. Start to make some progress. But then what we found out almost a year to the day. I was rushed to hospital again with the same. The same condition. And I spent four week, four, sorry, five days in the infectious diseases ward in the hospital, which is no fun, Mark, I can tell you. It's like Outbreak, the film with. I was waiting for Dustin Hoffman to run in with the monkey. Yeah, yeah, you know, that sort of thing. And then what I. Then what I ended up doing was that I came out of hospital again. My wife had just had our second child, so we were trying to keep away. I was trying to keep away from him, so I didn't give him any bug because we didn't know what was going on. And then I started to notice that I was unable to really move around. I couldn't get from the bed to the bathroom. I couldn't walk downstairs. I couldn't. I didn't have the energy or the capability to lift my head off the pillow. And as you said when you talked about it, I spent a year sleeping about 20 to 22 hours a day. Didn't want to be around anyone, literally. Well, when you spend. When you spend that length of time in bed, you know, your energy depletes anyway because you're not. You're not using anything. But I just sunk into depression. I had hyper anxiety, insomnia, all sorts of stuff going on. And when I did come out of that phase, I was then still ill, but I was able to move around a little bit more. But I needed a walking stick and whatever else. And I know I live in England and I don't live in the Castle, I can assure you, not like all the rest of them. But to walk down the top of the stairs to the bottom of the stairs would literally take me half an hour. So I got to the bottom of the stairs. Now I would have to rest for another half hour. And then I would walk to the. Hopefully crawl, walk, slide to the lounge. And then I would basically sit in the same place for the whole day, then repeat it day after day after day after day. And it was in January, January 2006, where I just got told that I could be over this for the next 30 years. And I've known my wife since I was a kid, since I was young. Went probably to the same nursery, but I. But we'd been going out since she was 16. And I just looked and I went. I can't put my family through this anymore. I can't. I can't drag them down because I don't Know what's going on. So what I. Obviously, the first thing that comes to mind is, well, I think I'll just end my life. That was the thing that came. It was the only solution I could see at that time. So I got in the car. I knew where I could do it. I knew I could get to 80 miles an hour. There was a big oak tree, seatbelt off. I knew that that's what would happen. But just before I got to that, just before the. The speedo is going up and I'm. As I'm driving there, I can. My eldest son, Will. I hear his voice in my head saying, daddy, not now. And I kept hearing a daddy, not now, Daddy, not now. And it was almost like the only way I can describe it is it was like an epiphany. And I kind of like came to, I guess, a moment of sanity and that moment of insanity, and I slid, skidded to the side of the road and I just screamed. And it was weird because it was almost like a flick of a switch and went right. I need to know I'm not going to be this person anymore. I'm not going to be this victim anymore. I need to know what moves people from, as I call it now, desperation to inspiration. What is it that moves people from this dark spot to actually desire and want to create and live something amazing? And that had been. That's been my mission ever since.

Well, I got the chills. Jeff, Scott, Todd, what are you feeling?

Man, I can't even imagine what it would be like to be at that. At that spot. You know, like, you know, it's. It's hard to even kind of put your brain around where. Where you would be or, you know, kind of how. How deep you're in at that point when you can't even relate to it.

And how did you get from desperation to inspiration? What was that journey like? I mean, was it slow? Was it arduous? I mean, what did you have to go through to get out of that?

Do you know what? There were certain parts that was extremely quick. And what I've learned to discover was, is that actually the body wants to recover very, very quickly. The body and mind want to recover because ultimately we have what our head says and then we have what our brain interprets and how that then affects how our body goes. So what I started to do is I started to look at all different therapies, mainly because I didn't have much luck in the traditional medical routes. Their response was drugs, more drugs, and even more drugs and unfortunately, the side effects sometimes were exactly the same as the symptoms. So you would go for, I don't know, let's say pain. But actually the medicine could cause anxiety or depression or weight gain. Well, I was already big because of what I was suffering from. So therefore the last thing I needed was to do that. I remembered seeing a specialist and he told me that the reason I was miserable and he wanted to identify. And his words were, I'm telling you now, you're fat. And I was like, oh, great, thanks. And that just makes me feel so much good. I've just spent £300 to see you. So I really looked at all of that nlp, hypnotherapy, Reiki, you know, some of the qigong and tai chi, some of that sort of stuff. But it was really a training program that really taught me about how our thoughts can influence our body, how fast our body can repair, once it gets back to an equilibrium, once it gets back to a balance. And what I realized was, is once I started doing that training, as I started to, you know, educate, I had mantras, I had affirmations, I had journaling, I did all that sort of stuff. And as I was doing that, I started to notice my energy, my positivity, all of that, and actually not just go to where it was before I was ill, surpass where it was when, when I was before I was ill. And then I started to look at, you know, I trained with Jack Canfield. I did a two year, one year mentoring program with him. He handpicked a hundred people from around the world. And I did that. I learned hypnotherapy because I was fascinated by language. Not about turning people into chickens, but, you know, like the, the, the language side. And then that was my mission, to initially start helping people with chronic fatigue and really practice what I preach and practice what I teach. And what I realized was, is that we all limit ourselves really in the same way of what we're thinking to actually what we're doing. And then it's a matter of helping people work on that.

I mean, Jeff, like, I try to do mindfulness meditation, and I'll sit down and I'll use the Headspace app. And I'm not even exaggerating. I feel like 17 of the 20 minutes my mind, like, I'm gone. Like, like the thoughts, thoughts, thoughts. Like, and then something will happen. I'll have, like this, like, like very peaceful moment following the breath, and then, you know, thoughts. I mean, it's. I find it very difficult. I mean, Scott, do you have difficulty kind of like with the, with the mind kind of doing what the mind wants to do and not being in the present?

Yeah, I mean, I think that's a very common thing. I mean, the, the mind, it does have a mind of its own, right? Like, it's, there's a reason that they say that. And I think that one of the key things that you know is really, can you, can you stop those, the mind, whether it's from wondering or kind of talking to you, telling you the stuff that you can't do, to just say, damn it, I'm going to go do it?

Yeah, that's a good question. And I think when you meditate, it's don't, don't believe the thing that says that you're supposed to go to a place where you don't think of anything because the brain doesn't work like that. You know, actually what's happening is when you're going into your meditative state, you're actually giving your mind a chance to go. Let me just kind of like go through some stuff that I'm trying to process that probably doesn't get a chance to do when you're working, when you're doing everything else. So you're kind of like giving yourself. And sometimes those things that come in your mind when you're doing those meditations are those, you know, those great moments, those inspirational thoughts. And I actually, I want those sort of things to come because that's allowing me to. My brain, Daisy, my brain allowed to play and allowed to do all of those things. So I think that's an important aspect. The other aspect is a lot of it's about the self talk and how can we change the self talk that's polluting or poisoning what we want to do and how we want to create success. And part of that, I think, is a morning ritual. How do we do. What do we do in the morning that gets me to a place that goes, bring it on day, because I'm ready for you. Ultimately, at the high performance level, that's what we're wanting to do. And when I started my recovery, I start to do this thing that basically I look, I go into the bathroom in the morning. I look at myself in the bathroom every morning, and I've got this mantra that I say to myself. But words aren't just enough because we can say things without complete meaning. So it's a balance of posture, convection, congruence, and picking the white. The right words that are going to go, okay, I'm ready for the day. And I'll share this on the podcast. And I share it with other people, but I always end it with I love you at the end. Now, I know that's soft and I know that's, you know, fluffy and all of that stuff, but if you don't learn to appreciate yourself, because I'm coming from a point where I hated myself enough to get in a car and go, that actual tree makes sense to me, hitting that at 80 miles an hour. But when I can stand there and I can look at myself in a reflection, and when you look at yourself in the reflection, you see the true you. You're not just looking at anything. You're looking at you looking back. And you can see if it means something. You can see if your posture is right. You know, all of that sort of stuff has a huge impact on telling your body how you want to feel. So if you start the day like a complete A1, I'm going for it. But I understand that all of the mindfulness set and everything else, but I have complete conviction and appreciation of myself. Then you can start the day with this relentless strength that comes from you. No matter what people say, you just can go for the most amazing things that you can ever dream of.

I love it. You know, to play devil's advocate, right? And you're in, like, this depressive state. And, I mean, I don't think I'm very depressive, but I've read enough about it where it's just so dark and people have a very difficult time getting out of it without some type of professional help or without some type of medication. And so how does someone in that state, you know, even have the energy or the wherewithal to have even this positive sort of morning routine?

Right. Well, okay, because there's a good thing. First of all, you have to go and seek help. You can't. You don't think you can do it on your own because. And there was. There is a thing that I have got. I've got a book somewhere where I've written down everything I thought about myself when I was ill from fat, useless, stupid, rubbish dad, all of those stuff. And I actually wrote a list of how bad I was as a person. So when you're going through that depression state, your filter is, I want to look for everything that's bad. You know, it's like, don't think of a pink elephant. Well, don't think of how rubbish your life is, you know, and that's what comes up. So definitely seek talking counseling or seek medical advice. And I do think there's a place for antidepressants. I think the biggest problem is, is when people think that they need to live by them. Because all you're actually doing is you're suppressing. That's why it's called depression. You're suppressing your emotions rather than expressing them. So by getting something that gives you a little bit of a lull to be able to go, okay, now I feel comfortable enough to talk about something, then that's what you need to do. But talking about your issues is the best way to deal with stuff. You know, getting them out to someone that is prepared to listen without judgment. Because one of the hardest things are, is when you know if you're having a bad day at work or you're having a bad day at something. Let's not take it to depression. You speak to someone that's emotionally attached to you. It's very hard to hear someone saying something to you. So by going and seeing a professional, whether it's a coach, a counselor or something, you're able to go there, speak to them and repair some of the stuff that's happened in the past. Maybe, or sometimes it's just about to change your focus. And my, the way I used to describe is I lived life in the rear view mirror. I wasn't taking any notice of what was happening possibility in the future. I was always living in, well, everything's gone wrong in the past, so therefore everything's going to go wrong in the future. So I think there is that massive importance. But also I went through a paradigm shift. So when I was going to that moment, there was a moment where I went, there's nothing on this earth that's going to stop me from getting better. So because at the time when I was driving towards the tree, then I was in that space I was in go, nothing's going to get better, so therefore, let's just finish it off. But with the help of my son, who, thank God, wasn't in the car, but from the help of him and his voice, that jarred me enough to go, okay, regardless of what I need to do, what demons I have to confront, what limitations, what past beliefs I've got about myself is I need to get better. And then that spurred me on to try even harder, but also to look at all of the different possibilities of what is out there and also not to be ashamed. I've gone through depression, you know, so what? It's not a sign of weakness. The problem is, is a lot of people are strong and the reason is they suffer from depression because they don't want to burden other people from those issues. Or maybe I have got some mental chemistry issue and stuff, but that's what a professional is for, to help you identify and to help you get that sorted.

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Scott. Todd, what are your thoughts?

I mean, I think that, I mean, the story here so deep, right? Like, I mean, I think that any, anytime that you're, you're looking like back at your life or you're, you know, you're looking at it from, you know, I like to think of it as kind of like a mood elevator, if you will. Like, you know, if you, if you just imagine like this glass elevator and when you're, when you're at the lowest point, which is, you know, like, I mean, what is the lowest point? Maybe it's driving 18 miles an hour towards a tree. But what emotion is it? It's hopelessness. It's, it's, it's, you know, all of this stuff. Nothing ever goes right for me. You're deep in the basement of this glass elevator, man. Like, you know, like you're, you're in the, you're as the lowest of lowest floors and all you see is like concrete walls and nothing is beautiful. But then as you rise on that elevator up and you become, you know, kind of curious, maybe that's halfway up the mood elevator. You're kind of curious about things. Hey, I wonder how that works. Or hey, I just got cut off in traffic by this jerk, man. I wonder if he's in a hurry to get to the hospital. Maybe something bad is important, right? Like now all of a sudden, I'm not like, you know, lashing out at somebody. I'm more able to kind of be curious and more, I don't know, compassionate about things so that it goes through. And then as I rise up now I'm seeing the world through this glass elevator. Now I'm seeing things that I'm grateful for. And you know, I can, I can make better decisions because I'm. Everything is clear. I get a bigger picture of the skyline. I can see the trees. It's just a much better picture. And so, you know, it's really, really hard to go from like that, that, that basement back up again. But I think that if you can just suspend like, okay, this is not a good time for me. I'm going to like, suspend decision making for right now until I can get to, at least to the point where I can be curious about something. Like, you like you were saying, like, okay, well, I am going to change this, or how can I change this? Once you became more curious about things, well then the outlook was completely different.

Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

I mean, Jeff, I can imagine that you get a lot of emails, you know, where people are not in the best frame of mind. Is there a book or, you know, a piece of art, some type of music that, you know, you gift or you recommend the most of?

No, there's a couple of things that you've brought up. So what I would say is gratitude is probably one of the most powerful ways to re tap into what actually is great about life. Because you're so right, Scott. When people are in that bad place, they don't look at the right place. So what I would say is there's a great app called the Five Minute Journal. Really simple. It's great, but it gives you all of the steps to throw through about looking for something great in your life. Now what I would say is what you've got to do is always choose something different. So three different things every single day. Because I've got a wife and two kids, so there's three things straight away. But what is it about them that you are grateful for? So, for example, it might be my youngest son's laugh, because he laughs like Bluto, you know, it might be something like that, or it might be, I love the way that the passion that my other son has in his career that he wants to take up. And once you start getting into the use of that, then go smaller. So choose simpler things. Like, I love the fresh air on my face when I'm going for a walk in the morning. Because despite how bad things get, there's always the simple things. And as Scott, you eloquently put that about the elevator, and I may borrow that and steal that in the future, but as you use that, it is about taking that up and using that thing. Because the other thing that's different, when people are in the dark spot, they look down, they don't look up. And looking up is a postural change as well. So when you're looking up and looking at what's around you, all of a sudden as the horizon looks wider, there's a different message that goes out to maybe the brain and all sorts of things. And there's a couple of stories of therapists telling people to walk home and look up and count the chimneys on the roofs and then feeling very different when they get back to their home because all of a sudden their attention is very different. It's up and out rather than down into the ground. So I think for me, the big one is the five Minute Journal and practicing the gratitude.

Yeah, I have the 5 Minute Journal app. So now I feel really good about myself.

Five stars.

Five stars. Jeff Nicholson. That's right. So, you know, essentially, I mean, it's a very serious subject. But what is great about you, Jeff, and I don't know if it's coming through on this podcast, is how much joy and humor and levity you bring. And especially on your, on your own podcast, you're just, you're just having a great time. And what I'd be interested about is, were you always like that and then, you know, you got sick and then it just kind of come back? I mean, is this something that is innate to you or you developed?

No. I wasn't very confident as a child. I was bullied at three schools. Um, and I. The only, my only avenue to, for my confidence or to excel in something was sport. So it was whatever sport was out there, I did because I loved the competitiveness and I loved the fact that I actually could do that. Stick me in a classroom and put me in front of some books because I'm dyslexic as well. And I just, my mind just melted. My, it literally came out my ears. That sort of thing I think is when I've gone through my crucible moment and I've done my paradigm shift, I see really what's important. I look at things and go, I'm not supposed to have a miserable life. I'm not supposed to. And it doesn't matter whether you want to excel for a multi million pound company to me, or whether it depends on your own personal definition of success. For me, I just want to have fun. I want to be an example for my family. I want my kids to see that you don't have to go and do a job that you absolutely hate. You don't have to be angry all the time. Which unfortunately, they've seen that side of me when I wasn't well. And I want them to be able to express now I have to be an example to them, but I also have to be an example to others. And you know, as far as I'm concerned, every person I meet are a cool person and I want to get to know them. The only way I can do that is being open myself, because then it invites them to be open. And my whole business is talking, it's conversation. So if I cannot communicate and if I'm not in a good place. I work with people who are burnt out. I work with people who are the businesses are on the cusp of breakup and everything else. I've got to be at that high energy level to have fun. And no matter what, God forbid, touch wood and everything else, no matter what life will throw at me, I've been through worse than, you know, when people say, oh my, you know, my careers, at the end, it's not as bad as they initially think. It's just looking at them and going, okay, well, what can we do with this? And I'm, you know, I'm a solutions orientated. I used to always be problems orientated and being solutions orientated. You get to see the horizon and you get to see, well, where is it that I'm wanting to go in my life, where do I want to travel to, how do I want to do the business? And I don't believe in thinking small. I used to, but I just don't. And if you're going to have a life, make it, as I say on my podcast, an exceptional one. You know, create the exceptional and be the exceptional and that's where things will go.

Yeah, I mean, you're like the British Tony Robbins.

Please market that one up.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, his best quotes is, suffering is an excessive focus on the self. And clearly, you know, your story is amazing, but ultimately, at the end of it, it's about gratitude, it's about joy, it's about creating this metric for success. And it's not, you're not focusing just on your stuff. You're helping people and you're rising up that mood elevator like Scott said. And because of that, you're able to, to achieve a purpose larger than yourself, which is moving the needle in people's lives and helping them go through the darkest of days because you've been there and you can relate and it's really phenomenal. But we're at that point now, Jeff, where we get to put you on the spot and ask you for a tip of the week. A website, a resource, a book, something actionable with the art of passive income. Go right now, improve their businesses, improve their lives. What do you got?

Okay, so it's not about the depression and the mood, but it's about productivity experiments. I see far too many people doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result. The tip is, is do a productivity experiments every quarter within your business and focus within a certain result that you're looking for and explore how you can make that as efficient as you possibly can.

Can you give me an example of a.

So, for example, let's say you. The famous one is, I don't want to be working every hour God sent. In order to work. Work doesn't have to be nine till nine, let's say, for example. So it might be looking at systems, as in something like using Zapier, there's an app for you that's a great way to look at your strategies and actually create workflows that actually make life easier, because everything's done. And I introduced that to my business, and I saved three hours a week on a strategy, just on one part of my strategy, and that was a podcasting process side of it. So using apps and taking time to explore and be willing to change the things that you may have always done can save you huge amounts of time.

I love it. And we love Zapier. We use that, like, every day. We're really geeky, Jeff.

Oh, I know. I mean, after your interview with me, I've got textexpander. Now you've got me on my notes. Yeah. So.

Scott Todd, what's your tip of the week?

All right, so Jeff mentioned this guy, and I don't know if I've ever. I think, in a way, I think I've given this in the past, but you know what? I'm gonna give it again. And here's the deal. Jeff mentioned Jack Canfield, right? Like, and I think that Jack Canfield is just a fantastic kind of motivational person. But there's one book that, like, he's the guy known for the Chicken Soup for the Soul and those books. But there's one book, one book that I read that literally transformed the way that I think, and I think it has a lot to do with the success of where I am today, and that is the success principles. So go get that book. The success principles. Read it, read it again, read it again, execute on it, and your life can be exactly what you want it to be.

Yeah, totally agree. I listen to that every single year at least once.

That's great. Well, my. My tip of the week is. Learn more about Jeff nicholson@jeffnicholson.uk I'll have a. A link to his website because it's arguably the worst domain name of all time because Jeff misspells his name. First of all, Jeff, no one can spell. It's Geoff. It's G, E, O, F, F. We're English.

We got it first.

I know Nicholson. I mean, come on, man. And then.uk who thinks it.uk so I have to have a link to it. So that anybody can find it.

But, yeah, people think I'm Dutch and all sorts when they first see me, it's like Geoff Gyoff. And I get Jeff and they go, what?

Okay, so see, they had it first, and then we fixed it with the. Yeah, we just fixed it.

You are literally phonetic. Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

I gotta figure out a way to get across the pond and have a pint with Jeff.

Yeah. Although he probably. I'll get you one of the equivalent of your water bottle full of beer.

Well, that would be ridiculous. You can dock your jet ski in this water bottle. This water bottle's got an undertow.

We can't buy them in this country. We cannot get them.

You can't?

No.

Is there a water shortage?

This is the biggest one you get.

Oh, my gosh, Mark.

Not that this has to do with England, but it's their. Their. You know, their. Their neighbor Ireland. I went to Ireland and holy cow, man. I'm asking for, like, Diet Coke. And they're bringing me, like, this small little Diet Coke. And I'm like, okay, we're gonna need about 10 of those. Okay. Like, just keep them flowing. And then I'm like, can I please, please, please get some ice? And they're like, oh, yeah, yeah, here's two pieces. I'm like, no, no, you don't understand. I need ice. Like, lots of it. Like, can you just back the truck up for me? You know? And so then I got smart. I went to the gas station to buy them, and I'm like, this is ridiculous. This is more than the price of gas. This Diet Coke, come on.

There's a reason why we think like that, though, because in America, when we've gone on holiday in America and you get a Coke, you get free refills quite often in a lot of places. You will never get a free wheel fill from a British restaurant. You won't even get it. No, because when you get ice. Because when they put ice in, you lose your drink, so you end up getting half water. You see, we're super efficient in the uk. We know what we want.

Yeah. I mean, I'm sold. I'm a huge Anglophile now. All right, I want to remind the listeners, the only way we're going to get the quality of guests like a Jeff Nicholson from jeffnicholson.uk is if you do us three little favors. You got to subscribe, you got a rate, you got to review the podcast.

See?

Send us a screenshot of that review to support the landgeek.com we're going to send you for free the $97 passive income launch kit. Today's podcast is sponsored by landmodo.com it is the best platform now to list your land listings and get them sold quickly and efficiently. Jeff Nicholson, are we good?

Yes, we are good. Thank you very much. And it's been an absolute pleasure and being on the show.

It's great. And it's great seeing you again, Scott. Todd, are we good?

We're great.

We're good, Mark. All right, let freedom ring. Thanks, everybody.