In this vlog, Tilly Lockey reflects on the emotional roller‑coaster of approaching her 17th birthday, describing the fear and pressure she felt turning 16, 17, and 18. She explains how her perfectionism and habit of comparing herself to high‑achieving peers (e.g., Forbes 20‑Under‑20) amplified those anxieties. Tilly links her early professional experiences—developing prosthetics, running a radio show, and dealing with medical trauma—to a feeling of being a “60‑year‑old in a teen’s body,” which made social interactions with peers difficult. She contrasts the societal expectations placed on 16‑year‑olds (seen as prodigies) versus 17‑year‑olds (expected to be near‑adults) and notes how each birthday feels like a jump of several years. Over the past year she has worked on living in the moment, being kinder to herself, and recognizing her accomplishments. Tilly also discusses cultural representations of age 17 (ABBA’s “Dancing Queen,” musical‑theater songs, coming‑of‑age shows) and how they shape her perception of the age as a bridge between childhood and adulthood, offering both independence (learning to drive) and lingering child‑like freedoms (stuffed animals, balloon cat ears). She concludes with a hopeful, supportive message to viewers of any age, encouraging them to enjoy the present, celebrate birthdays, and embrace their inner child, while also mentioning an upcoming science‑museum launch in London.
Chapters
Hey guys! Can't ask you how the soup looks, I wouldn't, honest. No! Right, what's the date today? It's Sunday. The Sunday, what's the day? Sunday the 2nd. Of? October. October. You know what that means? We fell in love in October. No, do you know what that means? That's— oh, your birthday. I have 5 more days left of being 16. It's true that I have 5 more days left of being 16. If you were here this time last year, around the time where I have to have a birthday every single year, you know it was a huge drama. So this video is for the people who are turning 16, 17, 18, because it's just scary. I feel like they're the scary ages. I was always a super fan of birthdays until it got to like 15. My mom always thought I was dead weird because she was like, Tilly, why the heck are you acting like you're having a midlife crisis? When you're turning 16. It was bad when I was turning 16. Not terrible, not like I was genuinely— but like, I was worked up about it. I don't really know why. I don't really know where that comes from. I think it's like needing to have accomplished so much at a young age sort of thing. I've always been like a proper perfectionist and compare myself to people my age. I'm comparing myself to people on like Forbes list, so like 20 Under 20 or whatever it's called, like the people who are on the list of like the most successful children. They're the type of people I'm comparing myself to. I'm like, girl, give it a break. You're like chilling, you're happy. But every year it sort of gets to my birthday, especially the ones like when I was turning 16 and now when I'm turning 17, I feel like I need to have fit in so much before that point. And also I feel like growing up I never really got along with people sort of my age. I kind of put that down to a lot of time being in like a business setting rather than like social setting, like developing prosthetics, or like been through a lot of medical trauma and things like that, you grow up a lot because of that. And I always like had trouble relating, chatting about boys and things. I was like, yeah, but like, what is the deeper meaning in the world? And everyone was just like, this girl is so weird, why can't she just have a crush and laugh about it? Like, I always felt like I was like a 60-year-old person in a young person's body. Like, right now I'm doing a radio show. I'm 16 and doing a radio show. I feel like if you put just the age up and I say, oh yeah, I'm 17 and I have a radio show, in my head 16 sounds like a child running the radio and 17 sounds like a nearly adult. Do you know what I mean? And it's only one number between, but it just feels like so much bigger. And maybe I'm a little bit paranoid because when you're 17 and I guess at that point where you are considered to a lot of people nearly adult more than child, what comes with that age is a lot of expectation, um, especially in a professional sense. Whereas when you're 16, people don't expect you to be phenomenal, but also if you put the work in and you are really good at what you do, it's like, wow, she's a prodigy, do you know what I mean? But I feel like when you get to 17, everybody's had the training up until that point, and so everybody's great at what they do because they've all been trained. Again, it's a huge jump, it feels like 16 to 17 is a way bigger jump than 10 to 11, you know? So I just feel like when I'm going through these ages, 16 to 18, it feels like every birthday you're jumping jump in like at least 3 years, more than 1, because everything's maturing so fast. And like I said, the expectations of you are getting higher so much quicker, and that's kind of scary. I'll say I am more content with the idea of turning 17 than I was turning 16, and that's actually really crazy to me because I remember thinking last year, literally the day after I turned 16, I was thinking, oh my gosh, the next birthday I'm gonna have, I'm gonna be 17. I was like Honestly, everybody comment telling me to stop thinking about the future and my next birthday and just live in the moment, because that's what I'm trying to do and that's what I need to do. I like spend so much of my life worrying about the next age I'm gonna be when I'm still so young. But I've known I've had this problem ever since I was 15 turning 16, to be honest. And so I've been working on it, and I guess that's why I'm more content about turning 17. I have been working on like living in the moment, and I have been reflecting on what I have accomplished. I've not been too hard on myself saying, oh, you should have done this, this, and this before that age instead of just being, just being kinder to myself, to be honest, and just thinking, wow, you're 16 and you're gonna be 17, but you've done all this and like you should be really proud of yourself. Also, I think it could primarily be because 17 specifically seems to have an awful lot of hype. So many songs, one that sticks out to me is Dancing Queen by ABBA, also musical theater song 17 that I did a cover actually with my boyfriend on this channel singing. Like that's all about being 17. That whole show is set around them being 17 at school. A lot of shows are set around people being 17 and the main protagonist is 17, and it's like coming of age, but also they're already really mature, so you can really delve deeper into like a plot or something when you're 17. I feel like 17 is when you're still considered a child, like legally you're still a child, but also you have a lot of independence and you start to be treated like not a child. And like I said, that has its pros and cons. It's also a good thing to be treated like an adult because you can no longer hide behind your age, actually have that skill. And I feel like that would give me and a lot of people the proper determination to make you want to stand out as much as you did if you were a 10-year-old in a room with 16-year-olds, you know. It's about really honing in on yourself and bettering this skill and talent so, you know, like you have that regardless, and that's what makes you stand out. But at the end of the day, what does age really mean? Like, I'm still sat here, I still have stuffed animals on my bed, I'm still wearing balloon cat ears— not for like the aesthetic or anything, but just to keep the hair in my face because it's irritating me. What does age really mean? You can still do what you want, you can still, you know, have your inner child, you can still have fun with it. And I feel like that's what we see like influencers and pop stars, people in the public eye doing now, the likes of Billie Eilish, who will like go on Jimmy Fallon and sit on the chair, like the professional chair, with like her legs crossed, whereas other people would be like, posture, and their legs straight down. And she's always a good reminder that like, just because there's people your age who are acting like they're proper adults, that doesn't mean that you have to. I mean, before I said I was emotionally like 60-odd, and I would agree with that. So maybe I'd say emotionally I'm like 60-odd, but mentally I'm like 10. And you know what, I'm content with that. And having this birthday and aging one more year, even if it feels like 4 sometimes, especially in these like— this 3-year difference. Literally everyone was reminding me of this last year, like when you wake up on your birthday day, nothing at all will have changed. It's literally just another day. Yeah, technically you've been alive and on this earth for like that many years now, but really the difference is a day. So what does it really mean? But as I said, I am content with turning 17, and I actually— I don't know all the stuff that you can do when you're 17. I'm gonna Google it, you know. I know one thing that you can do when you turn 17 is obviously learn to drive, which I'm super excited to do. I can't wait. Oh my gosh, I need to do one of the TikToks as well, like the transitions from like one age to the next. I think it's the 'I'm just 16' Wait, what? And then it turns into Dancing Queen. I need to do that. You know what, maybe it is just ABBA that makes me feel better about 2017. Like, that sounds so happy. Sounds so happy. It just sounds like it's gonna be a great year. Okay, I gotta do this. This is in preparation, okay? My sister is calling me. Hello? Hello, what do you want? Nothing, I'm just bored. You're just bored? Since when do you call me when you're bored? I'm doing that too. What? I've been coughing into this cat for like— Tia, how did you feel when you were turning 17? I was buzzing. Yeah, I couldn't wait for 17. How do you feel about turning 19? Gross. Anyways, these last days of being 16, I'm gonna be working on myself, but also, you know what, not putting any pressure on it. Like, I'm just gonna stop thinking for the next 5 days, yeah, I'm turning 17. I'm just gonna live my last 16 days in a happy, fun, happy, light-hearted way because I'm gonna wake up 7th of October and nothing will have changed. Happy birthday, early your late birthday to all my fellow Libras as well, if you're here. Um, it's our season, we got this. So happy birthday to all my fellow birth twins, whether you're turning 14, whether you're turning 6, whether you're turning those scary ages, which are to me 16, 17, 18, and 19, to be honest as well. You got this, I'm here with you, and just make the most of it, have some fun. That's what I've been trying to learn, and I feel like I'm starting to learn as well. So that's the lesson from today. It's gonna be an exciting day. I'm gonna meet up with my I'm gonna be in London actually because I have a science museum launch to do the night— the night before. Yeah, here's to being 17. See you next time. See you when I'm no longer 16. Happy birthday to me!
