Generosity vs. Transactions: Perfecting Holiday Gifts for Business Relationships

Welcome everyone to another episode of Mastermind Mastery. This is the podcast for you if you are wanting to create or already running peer groups.

It's what we call PACs, Peer Advisory Councils. They might be known as mastermind groups, CEO peer groups, all the same. But this is the podcast if you want to run better PACs. That you want to be better at being a moderator, you want to up your game, learn advanced techniques, hear from myself as well as guests, what works, new concepts, trends, techniques. Also learn content, things you can take back to your meetings, um, different ways to do different things to solve problems that we all have when we're running groups. It will increase your retention, reduce your attrition, get you more members, make you more money. This is the podcast for you. I'm Tina Corner Stolz, the host. I've been doing this since 2005. I built a territory of 10+ groups, sold for a multiple, started Ellis Council Leader Exchange Council in 2012. We are a licensing model. We are the leading educator in the peer advisory council space. We have the podcast. I have a licensing program with certification. I've written 2 books. So today, when you hear this episode, each and every week it's a new podcast where we dive deep into a topic for 15-20 minutes. One week it's me doing a deep dive on all the experience and insights from not only today with our entire licensed partner community or the past, um, what I've learned along the way, but we also have guests that are out there doing groups today that share their insights and new concepts. So let's get started with today's episode.

Hello everyone and welcome to another episode of Mastermind Mastery, and I'm your host Tina Corner Stolz. Since it is December, it is time to think about whether to gift or not gift your members. And this would also include if you're in the middle of launching groups for the very first time and you're just now getting your members together. Or you might be even sooner in the process to that. What about your centers of influence or key people that are supporting you in your journey to create and run successful peer advisory councils, PACs as we call them?

Today's episode, we're going to do a deep dive into that.

We're going to have takeaways that will give you ideas on whether you should or shouldn't gift, what's the best philosophy around gifting? How can you, if you so choose to do it, be sure that you gift correctly? Timing on the gift matters. And does it matter how much you spend or not? So we're gonna cover all these things today because as you enter into December and when you've been running groups for a while, this always becomes something on your mind about whether to gift or not gift. And once you decide on whether to gift, then it becomes a very personal preference on what you do about that, whether you get everybody the same gifts or you're gonna really personalize and do gifts one-to-one, which takes time and effort, but it can have the biggest payoff. So pros and cons. When I thought about this, about cons, is What is the con of actually giving a gift? And I really put it into this one point, and that is it's a con if it's a lame gift, okay? Because you will get negative points. It will take you backwards. And what means a lame gift? Well, lame is something that you were better off not gifting because it actually, by giving the gift that is considered quote unquote lame, then they think one, less of you, that you didn't put thought into it. Um, it just will not come across, and it may not enhance your brand or your values, and that is not what you want to have happen. You want to make sure your gift elevates your brand and your values and also elevates the relationship. That's kind of the point behind it, right, is the relationship. So I want to enhance the relationship. I want to enhance it because— and then also, what does enhance mean? I want to enhance it because it's an important relationship to me, and I want them to know how much I appreciate our relationship and that I'm looking forward to the continuing growth of the relationship, etc. So if you give a lame gift, it basically can send a message of, you know, you're just going through the motions and that isn't what you want to do. So if you do not take the time or want to or have it to do gifting correctly, maybe your best bet is not to do it at all. Okay? Because we can all think about gifts that we've received from a business standpoint and the ones that make a really good impression upon us and the other ones that are like, you know what, they just wasted their money and this is ridiculous. That they even did this gift. It was— it's just like I mentioned, it's like they're going through the motion. So never leaves me with a positive impression. You want to make sure that you have a positive impression. So let's move on to the pros, right? It's a nice way to say thank you. It can be very impressive about particularly what you give. Can be very impressive to the person you're getting it right. And also it's a way to be thoughtful about how you think about the relationship going forward. So primarily I want to talk about members for a moment and different ideas on what you can do and, and really the whole point behind gifting. So here it is during the holidays and everybody, you know, can have different religious preferences. So you must take that into consideration. Because you do not want to offend somebody from a religious standpoint with a gift you give, or by insinuating that, you know, it's for, quote unquote, Christmas, a Christian holiday, when they might not be Christian. So you have to think about the context of what you're going to give the gift. And it could be simply because it's thank you and it's the end of the year and you're looking forward to the next year. Right, the coming year. So really give thought as to how you position the why behind you giving the gift and what is prompting you giving the gift, because you just need to be aware and conscious of people's religious preferences and about associating gifting in December with that. Now, there are radically different, okay, types of gifts and where they can be perceived as transactional gifts versus generous gifts. So generous gifts focus on relationship building and not reciprocity. So by you giving the gift doesn't mean that you're expecting a gift in return, right? And that's generous gifting versus transactional gifting is no thought. I'm giving you the gift and you probably expect something back in return. But the point is the gift is going to be forgettable. You want your gift to be memorable, or I love this word remarkable, because then you know you have nailed it. Absolutely nailed it. Because we're going to go back to why is it that you're giving gift to start with? And so when you do it under the right pretenses, it's because you're wanting to advance the relationship in a positive way. And you have a wonderful opportunity to do that, particularly around the holidays, because that is considered a big gifting time of year, right? So think about your gifts as far as it being a generous gift under the guidelines I just talked about because it builds relationship versus a transactional gift. Now, one of the biggest transactional gifts that we— I'm sure you— I know I have. So we have gotten in our lifetime are gifts that are branded. So branded gifts come with their logo in the mail. It could be a shirt, a hat, a mug, a blanket, you name it. But It's clearly they got a big order and decided to send it out to all of their clients. Now, I call that a transactional gift. And while it may not be necessarily forgettable, because every time I pull that item out, assuming I keep it, their logo is on it and it's reminded me of them. And you could argue that that's a very positive thing to do. I will tell you, though, the trend is, is that people do not want gifts with the company logo on them. The trend is completely gifting that is very personalized. So again, it focuses on relationship building. So that brings me to personalization versus thoughtfulness. So the gift and how much it costs you is not the point. The value of the gift is not in the monetary price, but in how personal and unique it is to them. Thoughtful gifts make much, much greater impact than expensive ones. So what are thoughtful gifts? Thoughtful gifts are wrapped around maybe a hobby that they have. So for example, there is someone that was a speaker for one of our sessions recently, and I was thinking about the type of gift to give her to say thank you for her time in putting together a wonderful presentation. And it was clearly from the mindset of abundance because she wasn't looking for business out of it. And she did a wonderful, wonderful job. Well, I knew that she loved gardening. I thought, okay, I'm going to get her a very thoughtful gift in regards to gardening. So I got her some personalized, very feminine, fancy garden gloves and apron and a little sign for her garden that said her name, that it's her garden, etc., for the gift. So my— she hasn't gotten it yet, but my hope is, is that when she does get it, she will recognize that, number one, I paid attention to what is a very passionate hobby of hers. And therefore wanted to say thank you so much for the great job she did with this thoughtful gift. And my hope is it will advance our relationship, but also how much it will show her that we really appreciated that she made us look good. And that is a personalized thoughtful gift as an example. There's a gift I got years ago from someone who's a wealth advisor, and it was actually a client, but he gave me the gift, and it was a Cutco knife that was personalized. Now, here's what was unique about the thing. So that may not sound unique, but he knows that I'm a person that loves— truly, those that you guys know me know black and white. I wear almost my entire wardrobe is black and white. Or black or white. And those are my colors. And so he actually gave me a Cutco knife that was white, and it had my name on it. So it means even more so to me because he actually went one step further with— not only did he personalize the knife and he could have just stopped there, but the fact the color really resonated is every time I pull that knife out, I do think of him, but I love it because I feel it's mine. It's personalized and I don't feel it was a transactional gift at all. So the key is, is that the relationships that are really, really important to you, the only way to give a personalized gift is you have to know your members really, really well and you should know them really well. You see them on a monthly basis, regular recurring basis. Sometimes it's you're in their offices, etc. You see what they show up, how they show up, what they wear, what their preferences are with food, all of those things. So that data is there. You just have to cultivate it in order to find the right gift, because a gift should never come with any expectations, or it's not a gift. All right? Because when your clients, i.e., the members, feel that a gift is genuinely given without asking for anything, then you have strengthened the relationship.

By far.

Now, another thought is, is how much does the quality of the gift matter and how much you spend? I already talked a little bit about that. It really isn't about what you spend, that it's about the thought and how specific it is to them. So it's better to give just a few, like, high-quality gifts rather than a whole bunch of generic ones, right? So think about a budget. If you have a budget and you have your members, you might have centers of influence, you might have other people. You are better off making an amazing impact with your members because they're your clients and your key centers of influence than you are trying to cover a whole bunch of people with the same thing that you're going to give as a gift. Now, I can remember back in the day I used to go around to the holidays and hand out bottles of champagne to everybody. Well, you know, I wouldn't do that today's environment. Not everybody drinks. Not everybody likes, likes champagne. But what I did with that is I personalized the bottles. But I also wrote a note of just around celebration. And it was a very, very personal note about what I thought about them. Why I cherished our relationship, and I was cheering, quote unquote, to the relationship, and also what we could do together going forward. So that's something else to think about, is just your personalization can also come in a note as well, along with something. But the point is, is that it's personalized, right? And a memorable gift creates this long-term value in the relationship. I think one of the most memorable gifts I ever gave, um, one of my members is that he loved sailing, and he had a wonderful sailboat. He loved being on the water. He was, um, someone who also loved, uh, margaritas, so tequila. And he was also— his name was Jose. And so he's Puerto Rican. And I happened to find a picture that was extremely creative. That was a sailboat with a margarita glass, and it was out on the water, and there was an island involved. And there were all these real fun things in this picture. And I'm like, this is perfect for him. And I gave him that, and he just cherished that so much because it had so many personal things that he loved in it. Like, he would have bought that himself. And that's what you're, you're going for, is that they actually would have bought it themselves, but they haven't. And they might think it's a splurge, and therefore they're not going to buy it themselves. And that's like the perfect gift, one that you know they would love, but they probably wouldn't buy it for themselves, that it therefore needs to be a gift that you buy for them. And as we go into December, I know that many times those running groups, you guys out there, moderators, directors, chairs, etc., think about, well, I'm going to get a book for everybody in my group, and it will help them advance in running their business, or maybe this book, we're gonna talk about it for the year, etc. And my challenge to you today is really to think about that. Is that really a memorable gift? Does that really hit home to every single person around the table that is a member? And what's the impression and the thought you are wanting them to have by you giving them that book? So again, just give that some thought before doing what might be something that's been a tradition or standing thing that you do every single year. And the other thing I would like to point out for you to consider is you can donate to charities. Sometimes I know people do that and that's appreciated, but once you do the donation, it's forgotten. It will give them the opportunity to say that was nice and thank you so much because I know you knew that I love this charity. But push yourself to go beyond just the donation to the charity. Maybe it is you show up with them at that charity event, or you buy tickets to that charity's event and you take your member instead, and it gives you a chance to have a personal, you know, experience together, etc. And think about your members who do donate to charities, or they take days out of the year for the whole office to go do some local charity work. And you could wrap a gift around that in with, with your member. You can also include things that include their spouses or their children because those are big deals. So let's say, for example, you know, your member loves a regular recurring vacation they always take with their family to Hilton Head or something. Well, then what you might want to do is, knowing that they're going to be going to Hilton Head, is that you offer to have dinner delivered for the whole family on one of those nights that they're there. Or maybe there's tickets to something you know that they would all enjoy, and you buy them these tickets. I hope you're getting, okay, the idea around what I'm talking about in regards to the art of gift giving. And it really doesn't have to be that hard. It doesn't have to take a lot of time because when you know your members as well as you do, it can come across easily as to what you can do that is very reasonably priced but high impact as far as a gift that says how much you really appreciate the fact that they are your member. And you're looking forward to years to come. It is a small price to pay for the lifetime value of the member to you. Your takeaways today: give some really key thinking time to who is it that you want to show appreciation to? Who is it that you want to really advance the relationship with, and what kind of gift, if you want to give a gift, will do that and be a lifelong gift they will always remember, whether it's an experience or whether it's something they will cherish because they wouldn't have got it themselves, but it's meaningful to them. So it's the holidays, regardless of what holiday you celebrate. And it's a wonderful opportunity to show how much you really appreciate that those around you have helped in your success. So thank you again for listening to another episode of Mastermind Mastery. And again, if there is a topic that you would love for me to have a guest on, if you know somebody that would be a wonderful guest, or if you want me to talk about something, please let me know by sending me an email at Tina@AlexCounsel.com. And until next time, keep making it happen. Thank you everyone for listening to another episode of Mastermind Mastery.

And to get access to today's episodes, not only the show notes but any tools and resources, encourage you to— not only will you find them in the episode show notes, but also you can go to the website www.lxcounsel.com, so lx counsel dot com, and you will find a plethora of articles and content and tools and resources and worksheets and things like that that can be helpful to you in creating and running successful PACs. I want to leave you with one thing that we end and teach to do in every single meeting, and that is the very last thing is to ask, what is your takeaway from today's episode? I encourage you to give that thought. Take advantage of the time you just invested in listening to the episode, and what can you do to move one step closer to the vision that you have and the goals that you're trying to achieve with with your groups. So again, take a step back.

What's your key takeaways?

What can you actually act on? And I leave this with one note. And those of you that have read my book, Your Seat at the Table, you know that I ended the book with a story about my mentor.

He always, when he met people, had a pebble in his pocket that he passed to them when there was knowledge shared.

And so I ask you today to think about that pebble concept. And to pass what you learned today on to someone else, which could be your members, or take it internally to yourself and act on it.

So now go do something with those takeaways.