Secrets of Effective Networking with Michael Gordon

Welcome everyone to another episode of Mastermind Mastery. This is the podcast for you if you are wanting to create or already running peer groups. It's what we call PACs, Peer Advisory Councils. They might be known as mastermind groups, CEO peer groups, all the same. But this is the podcast if you want to run better PACs, that you want to be better at being a moderator, you want to up your game, learn advanced techniques, hear from myself as well as guests, what works, new concepts, trends, techniques. Also learn content, things you could take back to your meetings, different ways to do different things to solve problems that we all have when we're running groups. It will increase your retention, reduce your attrition, get you more members, make you more money. This is the podcast for you. I'm Tina Corner Stolz. The host. I've been doing this since 2005. I built a territory of 10+ groups, sold for a multiple, started Ellis Council, Leader Exchange Council, in 2012. We are a licensing model. We are the leading educator in the peer advisory council space. We have the podcast. I have a licensing program with certification. I've written 2 books. So today, when you hear this episode, each and every week it's a new podcast where we dive deep into a topic for 15, 20 minutes. One week it's me doing a deep dive on all the experience and insights from not only today with our entire licensed partner community or the past, um, what I've learned along the way, but we also have guests that are out there doing groups today that share their insights and new concepts. So let's get started with today's episode. Hello everyone and welcome to another episode of Mastermind Mastery. I'm your host Tina Corner Stolz, and I have a dear friend and colleague today as a guest. And I always love this when I get to chit-chat with them because out of mutual, I hope, respect, but a great level of respect for Michael Gordon, who's joining us today, because you as an audience, if you do not know him, you need to know him. He has tremendous insight into not only this space, but what can help you in generating deeper relationships with members, prospects, how to add value, and how that all wraps into building your groups, running them. And I can see where we possibly will run out of time today and need to have him back. But Michael is the real deal and is authentic and knows what the heck he's doing. So, Michael, welcome to the show.

Great to be here. Great to see you, as always.

Mutual, mutual. So much. So first, let's just— I'm going to just set the tone, but I'm going to let you explain a little bit about what Elever is. But Michael and I have a very funny background history of years and years ago. And not to take up a bunch of time with this story, but this was when I was running the alternative board and I was pitching Michael on why I needed to be part of his his group back then, um, and I got turned down. And from that experience, I believe we've become great friends and colleagues because it was, um, from there Michael actually then also ran, um, peer group and is also a member of groups and is an advocate of this whole concept regardless of who you are and how you run them. And so he has a credibility understanding the space for all you listeners who, you know, you're out there doing the same thing. And Michael has a wonderful concept he has developed and the founder of Elever. So, Michael, will you explain a little bit to the audience what Elever is?

Sure. Happy to do it. And I'm really glad that you brought up the story of how Tina and Michael began, because I probably tell that story at least a dozen times a year as such a great example of kind of the world putting two people together for some reason and believing that the right people will stay in your world. Yeah. So it's such a great story. And we'll tell that again at another time. Right. But first, thanks for having me. I'm so happy to be here and to do this and to share what— whatever it is I end up sharing. You know, I love what I do, and it's really— it's become such a great fit for me in my life and just giving me a lot of really clear purpose and right place, right time, right everything for me. So I'm just really thankful for the opportunity to do this. So thank you. You're welcome. I can't believe I've been in the— networking business for almost 19 years. It's really hard for me to, to say those words. But one of the, one of the really strong opinions that I've developed over that time, leading up to and still into the Elevare period, is people join networking groups for a whole host of reasons. And what they end up experiencing generally, and I think this is the majority of the time, is it's never what they'd hoped it was going to be. They're, they're always disappointed for one reason or another. And maybe it's, maybe it's the other members not being the right fit. And that doesn't mean they're bad people. It's just maybe not the right people. Maybe it's too much of a time commitment and they were misled as to what that was going to look like. Maybe the content of the group isn't what they thought it was going to be. So when I reached the point of considering doing Elevare, what I set out to do was to create the kind of experience that people have always wished existed and they never found it. And I'm entering year 4. Really pleased with how it's going. And yeah, it's just been, it's been a wild ride. Is there more of that that you want me to share?

Yes. If you don't mind just sharing a little bit about what makes Elever unique. How about that?

Okay. Yeah. So there's, there's a few of few things. One, I'm, I'm super picky on who I let into the group. And I don't mean that to sound arrogant or obnoxious. And it doesn't mean, like I said a moment ago, that if somebody isn't the right fit for the group, that they're not an amazing human being. It's just there's a very specific set of characteristics that I look for in a member, knowing that if somebody doesn't possess all of them, it may not achieve the goal that I set out to, which is to give them that experience that they've always wished existed. So the 7 characteristics that I look for, sort of in order, at least the first 3 or 4 are in order. One, the most important is humility. It's the leading indicator of whether or not someone will be successful in this group. The second is they have an abundance mindset and not a scarcity mindset. And I think we all know people that have both. 3, they're relationship-driven and not transactional. They care more about protecting a long-term relationship and the value that's created as a result than any deal that they might ever get. 4, they like helping other people. It actually makes them feel good in their core when they help other people accomplish whatever it is they need to accomplish. 5, they have a network, and it doesn't mean they've got a big network. It just means that the network that they have is credible and they're viewed as someone credible to that network, and it could be one person, and that's totally okay. Number 6, they're trustworthy. And then number 7 is they commit to protecting some time to be with the group. They're going to make it a priority. And that doesn't mean it takes a lot of time to be an Elevator, but the time that we are going to spend together, we ask them to protect it. So one, all of the members, all 7 characteristics, no exceptions. Two, I take a personal stake and, uh, involvement in making sure every member finds the value that they were looking for when they joined. And then the last one is, I, I thought as I was dreaming this up, I'm going to tell people about this, this fairyland that I'm going to create of all these incredible people and me personally helping them, which I think sounds really different than some groups, but not all. And then I thought, no one's gonna believe me. They're going to think this is just the next, you know, creative way to sell a networking group. And it's a, it's a pretty expensive price tag.

Yes.

So I felt like I needed a way to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that if EleVere didn't deliver more than they hoped when they joined, that that, uh, that I mean what I say. So the final thing, and what really I think sets us apart, is we are the only networking group that I've found in the world that offers a money-back guarantee.

I love that.

And I felt that I, by doing that, some people thought I was a little, a little crazy. That's okay. A little, little, little risky. Um, But I felt like there was no other way that I could genuinely look someone in the eye and tell them that everything that I was selling to them about what I've created was legitimately what it is. And if it isn't, they can hold my feet to the fire and I'm on the hook for real, real money. So yeah.

No, no, no. I love that. And I'm a fan of that because it shows you believe in what you're doing. You're going to make sure that it, it aligns with the fact that you make sure you have the right people, to your point, of your care, all the characteristics. So that ensures a positive outcome. Personally involved, so you're totally invested in the member, you know, your member experience. And I would encourage all the listeners to consider offering a guarantee too, because if you really believe you have the best interest of your prospects in mind, get the right members, you can do the same thing and offer a guarantee and you should be fine. It's not, you know, it's crazy. Every time I talk to somebody who offers a guarantee and you actually ask how many times you had to give it, it's always some tiny, tiny number, you know?

Yeah, my, my tiny number is zero. I mean, it's been 4 years, so it may happen. And, and if it does, That's okay.

That's okay.

But I, at some point, the concept of goal alignment became so clear to me that I was able to see misalignment of goals in just about every other group that was out there selling memberships. And I'm not saying that what they were delivering to their members or their customers was bad or malicious. But when you've got a misalignment of goals, it affects the behavior and ultimately the outcome. And the people that I think end up suffering are the members who paid the dues to join because what they joined for isn't what the organization itself cares the most about.

Mm-hmm.

So I wanted to solve for that.

Do you— I'd like to transition to something, which is how you build—

how you—

let me think about this because I'm not trying to lead you. And this is very relevant to the audience because I believe your answer is going to be directly applicable to how moderators, chairs, facilitators, whatever everybody calls themselves in running groups, how they can build their groups with the right members. So it's very translatable, I believe, what— how you do it from the standpoint of relationship, right? So do you mind expanding a little bit about how you find your right fit Elevare member and that you probably don't have a billboard out there that says Michael Gordon Elevare? But you do it in a different way.

Sure. And it's been a really interesting— it's interesting that you're bringing this up to me right at this time because it seems to be a subject or a topic that keeps coming up about how have I been able to curate this collection of people. And there's a few ways that I'll answer, and I don't mean for any of it to sound hokey, but It's definitely one at a time, one great connection at a time. And, and the way that I've done it and the way that I think has been, I guess, not just easy but productive, successful, enriching, um, is I ask people that I know to introduce me to other people that they know, that they think we should know each other. And it's not to join EleVere. That's not the purpose. I don't say, Tina, please introduce me to Fred so that he can join EleVere. I say, Tina, who do you know that you think I need to know and build a relationship and explore ways that we can help one another. If EleVere comes up as a topic that Fred wants to pursue, great. And if he doesn't, just as fine as well. The reason and the, the why I've done it that way is because for the 14 years that I was doing networking prior to Elevare and running other networking groups, that, that's, that's pretty much what I did day in and day out. I was meeting people. I'd call it an interview, but it was really just a, a get to know one another. And while most of the, over all these years, hundreds of people that I was meeting, only a small number of them ultimately became clients of mine. But what I recognized during these conversations about asking you who you were, what you did, how you did it, why you were different, who you bought from, who you sold to, where'd you grow up, tell me about your family, what interests do you have, all these just really natural things about getting to know someone. I was recognizing synergy between the 50 other people that I had met who also didn't join my networking group. It was just, oh my goodness, Tina, you need to meet Debbie. And Debbie, you need to meet Bob. And I started making these connections. The idea of monetizing that never crossed my mind. It was just what I enjoyed doing. And it became so obvious as I got the answers to my questions that this person needs to know that person. So the way I do it is just by going out, being introduced, and, and I'll get into the specifics in a second of how I, I do it really easily and comfortably. But it's one good conversation on top of another that leads me to other great conversations. Some of those conversations lead to new members, many of them don't. But everyone that doesn't turns into a relationship that I can introduce to the members of my group, and thereby delivering huge value to my clients, but also creating value for everybody in my network that doesn't Join.

Yes. I, I hope that our audience just please take this in, and if anything, hit rewind and hear it one more time.

I can try and say it again in another way.

And, and note that what Michael said is part of the Ford concept that has— is a previous episode I got into about understanding people's family, why they do what they do. What they love to do, what their dreams are, etc., because that's how you really truly get to know someone, right? And that's where you're going to come up with the ideas of how they can help one of your other people in your sphere, right, of influence, whether it's a client or it's not. But you can't do that unless you truly dive deep into understanding and getting to know the person that you're Right, that you're talking about.

Yeah. But one of the things that I also think is important to mention is as easily as it might come for someone like you or me, it doesn't come quite as easy for others. No. My wife, Jennifer, she's a scientist. She is not a real great people-er. Yeah. She can do it. But her brain just isn't necessarily wired that way, nor has it been a muscle that she's been exercising for years and years and years. So if you happen to be one of those people where it doesn't just flow, I would encourage you to create a list of questions that you think might be appropriate. And then it doesn't even really matter what those questions are. What matters is when you get the answer to any of these questions, if it feels appropriate, the next question should be, "That's interesting, Tina. Tell me more. And can you be specific?" So asking a question about an answer will take you down roads you never dreamed you would go to. And I say it that way Because what I found is, especially when you're first meeting someone new, there's a wall up, right? It's hard to get people to be vulnerable right away. Everybody's a little careful about what they share and who they are presenting to you because we all want to protect ourselves and not be judged in any way. So I might not give you an incredibly deep answer to your question about where I'm from. But by asking follow-up questions about, oh, you're from Philadelphia, really? Where? Or, um, do you have a favorite cheesesteak place? Or, you know, why are you— how did you get to this geography if you're not from that geography? And tell me more about that. Was it hard for you? Just not just asking a question, getting the answer so you can ask the next question on your list.

Because then it becomes transactional.

Then it becomes transactional. One of the things that people have shared with me from a feedback standpoint that I've always appreciated and just never really thought about because I don't do any of this intentionally, it's just kind of who I am. Is people will say, Michael, when I'm with you, even if we're in a room of 100 people, you make me feel like I'm the only one in the room. And I have no ulterior motive. I'm not doing it as part of my sales process. I think I just have a genuine curiosity about other human beings, and I enjoy learning about them and finding some common connection that we share. As slight as it may be. But it's in those deeper conversations. And I'm not saying like blue ocean deep, but just beyond that surface person that you first meet and connecting on a little bit more of a human level than just the persona I want you to think you're meeting.

Absolutely.

It will allow you to connect with people in a way that they're not used to. It will elevate you in their mind, they'll leave that experience feeling like there was a genuine connection that was made. And then at some point in the future, if you were to reach out to them and say, hey, Tina, last week I was meeting with Debbie, and she's somebody that I really got a sense you should know because I think the two of you might bring value to each other. Can I introduce you? You're going to get a yes.

And it's a good follow-up because when you do that, you're going to hear where you can help them and make a connection helpful, which goes back to abundant mentality.

Yes.

Right. Help. Give first. And through this whole conversation, Michael, how would you help our listeners make the connection between doing what you're saying and trying to build out their groups? Or even run their groups?

I wouldn't— I would encourage them to do a few things. One, my experience, and I don't know if this is the same for everybody, I feel like you and I talked about this in over the years, but when I was running my LX Council group, I found it challenging to get referrals from my existing members to their closest relationships because I think they were concerned that if their good friend joins the group and they're divulging all of this confidential information, they're not going to be as open, forthright. So instead, I stopped thinking about my members' referrals as potential members, and I just started thinking about my members' referrals as people that I could add to my stable of connections. And I would share that with my members so that they would feel comfortable to introduce me to the people that they were closest with. So it was really thinking one step beyond my members' connections. So you're, you are a member of my group, you introduce me to John, And I'm not looking at John as a member. I'm looking at John as the connection to my next member.

Yes. Yes.

So that was one. And I found that to be a lot more effective. And the other thing is I looked at every meeting I had as the exact same value to me. The members will come. And I'm just building up this stable of unbelievable people— excuse me— that I've connected with on a really human level that I can introduce to people or make introductions to them. And that's how I think about networking now, and that's how I think about growth. I don't think of it in any specific monetary single goal. It's, I need to continuously meet new good people. It will reveal itself to me where it's going to go out of that meeting. And then I've also helped my members by educating them on this philosophical belief so that they wouldn't be afraid to introduce me to the people that are closest to them. Because we all, I think we all know, or you will know if you don't now, getting time with a CEO of a business is really challenging unless their good friend calls them and says, hey, Tina, I have somebody I need you to meet. Will you take this meeting and just trust me?

Right. Absolutely.

Those are the easiest and the best.

Absolutely. Well, as we've so quickly come to the end, um, and as I want you to share what one piece of advice would you give our audience, um, I hope that while you're thinking about that, that you all as listeners think about what Michael has said in regards to how can you add value to your prospect How can you give first? How can you make a connection that will help them? Because you're going to advance that relationship, but also how it might be related back to not only that with your members, right? Continually helping them. Because there was one thing that I learned truly on is that if it appears that you care more about their business than they do, you have a lifelong client. And looking for those ways to make connections, whether it's personal, even for personal things. Like, you know, I've, you know, your members redoing their or wanting to redo their landscaping. So give them some ideas about people they should connect with that have great landscaping, whatever it might be. So, Michael, what one piece of advice will you give the audience today?

That's a really difficult question to answer. Can I give them more than one? Just some things to think about.

You can't. You got to do it in 1 minute.

Okay. Be authentic.

Yes.

Be genuine in everything that you do. Dogs, bees, rabbits, and CEOs can smell fear and sales. So just be authentic, be genuine to who you are, and don't look at the next conversation as a selling opportunity. Look at every conversation as a where's the value conversation and you'll be successful, I think.

Great. Thank you. And of course, how can people get in contact with you if they would love to?

Yeah, it's elevaire.com, E-L-A-V-A-I-R-E.com. And my phone number is on there and I'm on there and Happy to talk to anybody.

And of course, all of this will be in the episode notes for all of you. You can click on Connect with Michael. Encourage you to connect on LinkedIn as well. And Michael, thanks so much for being here today. And again, thanks to our audience for listening to another episode of Mastermind Mastery. And until next Tuesday, go make it happen. Thank you everyone for listening to another episode of Mastermind Mastery. And to get access to today's Episodes, not only the show notes, but any tools and resources encourage you to— not only will you find them in the episode show notes, but also you can go to the website www.lxcouncil.com. So lx counsel dot com, and you will find a plethora of articles and content and tools and resources and worksheets and things like that that can be helpful to you in creating and running successful PACs. I want to leave you with one thing that we end and teach to do in every single meeting, and that is the very last thing is to ask, what is your takeaway from today's episode? I encourage you to give that thought. Take advantage of the time you just invested in listening to the episode and What can you do to move one step closer to the vision that you have and the goals that you're trying to achieve with your groups? So again, take a step back. What's your key takeaways? What can you actually act on? And I leave this with one note. And those of you that have read my book, Your Seat at the Table, you know that I ended the book with a story about my mentor. He always, when he met people, had a pebble in his pocket that he passed to them when there was knowledge shared. And so I ask you today to think about that pebble concept and to pass what you learned today on to someone else, which could be your members, or take it internally to yourself and act on it. So now go do something with those takeaways.