A speaker tears into U.S. Ambassador to Canada Pete Hoekstra as a symbol of American diplomatic incompetence, citing his controversial statements about the Netherlands and linking him to broader foreign policy disasters like Vietnam and Iraq. The rant mocks climate denial and ends with a call for Canadians to ignore American dysfunction.
Chapters
This is Pete Hoekstra, or as we Canadians call him, Chucklehead. Chucklehead is the American ambassador to Canada. Now the thing about Chucklehead isn't that he is just a disrespectful douche canoe, it is that he is exactly what we should have expected. Chucklehead was the US ambassador to the Netherlands at one time, stood in front of cameras, insisted there were no-go zones where Muslims had set Dutch cities on fire. There are cars being burned, there are politicians that are being burned. It wasn't true. The Dutch media immediately asked him for proof. He denied ever saying it, and then when shown the video of him saying it, denied he'd ever denied it. He was born in that country. But here's the thing about Chucklehead. He is part of a long tradition of American officials who choose to ignore the most obvious truths about the world in pursuit of maintaining its proud history of pushing its weight around to achieve political points. Take Vietnam. Washington convinced itself that it could bomb a rural, nationalistic movement into submission, ignoring allies, ignoring history, ignoring its own intelligence. Millions dead. And they still called it peace with honor. Or Iraq. Weapons of mass destruction that did not exist. Allies begging them not to invade. The UN inspectors literally saying, look, there's nothing there. Even chuckleheads said there were 500 chemical weapons to go. That claim was so laughably wrong, Bush's own Pentagon came out and said, "Yeah, he's an idiot." Climate change. The rest of the developed world spent years developing renewable industries while American politicians waved snowballs in the Senate in some bizarre attempt to prove that the planet wasn't warming. Everyone else talks about carbon reduction targets, while America talks about whether wind turbines are a satanic plot to make dolphins gay, which, as everyone knows, is ridiculous because dolphins are bi. Chucklehead is just the latest face of this blindness, a man who thinks Canadians should be lucky to bask in the glow of America's dysfunction. It's the usual American arrogance, but this time fueled by a giddy and dangerous embrace of ignorance. And it is exactly why Canadians, and frankly the rest of the world, have learned to smile politely at America's governing idiots. And then go back to quietly doing our own thing. What we need to remember is that when the American government sends its people, they're not sending their best. They're bringing drugs. They're bringing crime. They're bringing shitheads. You can do anything. Grab them by the pussy. And some, I assume, are good people.
You ran a campaign. It was anti-American. That has continued. That's disappointing.
