Canada's Biggest Smallest Contest — FINALÉ!

Dun dun dun dun dun dun! Oh, I hope that's not a copyrighted song. Hello, everyone! Welcome! Tonight, after weeks of procrastination, we are going to award this. Well, you don't actually get to keep this. This is mine. This is just a demo. But we are going to do giveaway the grand prize tonight. Come here! Da-da-da-da-da-da! Anyway. So welcome, everyone. I see there's a bunch of you in here already. Welcome, welcome. We are about to get started. Jocelyn and I have had a very busy day. And so Jocelyn is taking the dog out and is having a very quick dinner, which I made too late, because she values her health. I do not. And so we are just going to get started. If this is the first time you've seen this, we had a contest called Canada's Biggest Smallest Contest. And the idea is that you send in the smallest possible trinket from your community. Like, for instance— oh, and this little box over here, over here, is— we'll show it to you. We've got it set up so you can see it.. Like, for instance, this tiny little thing. Right? A pin with a tartan, for instance. So you send us the tiniest object from your community, and we will award it based strictly on what we think would be a good winner. So, "Listening from California." Welcome, California.

Elizabeth, thank you.

Oh, look at me.

You made me a spot.

Exactly. I did. I moved my— what? Is that not what you wanted?

No, it's like— it's— look at where I am on the screen. Okay, scooch over more.

Why are you talking? Stop. What? Why? Why? Just— just— okay. Um, Deanna, Brenda, Susan, Lori, Sassy Senior.

I'm trying to see.

There. Alondre, Michelle, Carmen, Marilyn, PJ. Hi, PJ. Robert, Lolcan, Elizabeth, Katherine, Susan.

Oh!

Another Elizabeth and another Michelle. Welcome, everyone. All right. Let's get started. You have the bag, don't you? I do. Yeah. So we've been keeping track of what provinces have been submitting. We've had hundreds of submissions. It was a mistake for us to do this contest. I will be 100% real with you.

Yeah, I think so. It was a mistake to let it go beyond a month.

Yeah, that's true. We were a little—

The contest, sheer brilliance.

The contest was your idea.

Because I came up with it.

Yeah, exactly. So we're going to try and blast through these. Welcome, everyone. Oh, and an Imo person. Welcome, Janice. OK. And then we are going to award the winner. And I'm sorry I'm not wearing my fancy thing. By the way, tomorrow night 24 hours from now is the release of the super secret video project, which all I will tell you is, has been months in the making and has involved hundreds of people in this community. All of whom have been sworn to secret, some of them for months. And it all is revealed tomorrow, 24 hours from now, at 6:00 Pacific. Which is 9 o'clock Eastern time. Yeah, of course.

That's better.

You're just trying to get—

I'm trying to get out from under that square. Could the square be a little smaller?

Square can be up here.

Okay, that's a little better.

There we go.

That will do. Okay, you're gonna have to open the first one.

Yeah, sure. Yeah, no problem.

Hello everybody, um, thank you for coming. The, um, it's a little crazy how many, uh, platforms and peoples that were on. We had a lot of interaction today on the healthcare worker Discord.

Discord is hopping.

We have, I think, 3 different families or healthcare workers visiting, and one just moved today. We are so happy for her. I mean, it's not the end of the story, obviously, But yes, let us watch ourselves 30 seconds ago.

Sorry, that will not be—

sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.

Okay, I'm trying to just get— anyway, thank you, Elizabeth. That was very nice.

You can start here.

All right, here we go. Is that the one I just opened?

No, you haven't opened it yet.

So we're gonna try and go through these a little faster than we usually have in the past, just so that we make sure that we don't destroy it. And that will unfortunately possibly me not reading everything. So these are souvenirs from Loveland Museum. This comes from Jonestown, Colorado. An American! Dun dun dun! So Americans are welcome to participate but are not eligible for the contest for the prize. I would say normally it's because we wouldn't be able to mail the prize to you. But we can't mail fucking anything in this country right now because of a postal strike. This is it. It is one of those, like, squashed pennies. "Loveland does a special Valentine's postage mark every year. We have a small museum where I use their machine to make these. Please do choose me and/or my friend as one of your winners. We are both looking for Canadian mates." Aww. "I am seriously—" And then it's like, "No, I'm seriously open to being a mail-order bride these days." And I feel that.

Oh, I thought it was mates like in the Australian Australian cents, but no, it's mates in the—

Loveland is known as the Sweetheart City. You may need a magnifying glass to see these two love mementos. Let me see if I can get it a little closer for you guys.

It's mates in the thing.

There we go. Oh, is that Sweetheart City? See, you see it?

That's really cute. Well done, machine that printed it.

Very cute, very, very cute. So that's from Colorado. Um, so this Go here, I'll let you do that. Uh, now we have one from Castlegar, home of Canada's scariest airport. Oh yeah, oh God, it's true. If you've not yet had your government-issued heart attack, please make your way to— please make your way to Castlegar so that you can, uh, have that. So this is—

Kamloops is not great either.

This is from Lisa, who has sent— did something fall out of this by any chance?

No. You opened it.

So it is— maybe that's all she sent. It— yeah, it looks like it's a people— it's a sculpture walk. It is a— oh, it is this. It is this. When you say healthcare worker, what categories are workers? Anyone who works directly with a patient. So, um, if you, you know, if you are a medical technologist and you review a patient's, uh, a patient's medical records or something like that, absolutely. Like, err on the side of if you're in healthcare, we probably want you. If you're like a billing coder, we don't really have that kind of a system up here because we don't have private insurance companies for that kind of stuff because—

there was another envelope. Oh, you put it out. But do you— where did the museum thing go to?

I just gave it to you.

I know, but you didn't say what province. Oh, that's BC. Yeah. You did say what province? This is from Ottawa.

It is Elaine from Ottawa. We have an Elaine in here.

Elaine, clearly you missed the letter mail thing, and that is what I'm gonna be annoying.

In a fancy container.

If you, if you're looking about healthcare worker types, Google the BC provincial nominee program, and they— it's basically we're kind of following their types of health, even clinical social workers, pharmacists. Good God, that kind of thing.

Oh, it's tiny, I think. All right, so from— oh, oh, we might have our— oh, that's pretty. So from Ottawa, it's a tiny little charm. I— this camera is not going to focus on it because it's being difficult. Let me try and do it this way. Bring it back. There we go. Oh nice, it's the, it's the House of Commons, Parliament buildings. Yeah, yeah, and it's kind of 3D if you can see this. It's actually not flat.

It's— thanks PJ for welcoming everyone.

Yeah, thank you. PJ is a mod and a member, and a long-term member, probably like one of our first members. Ah, PJ, thank you. This is Ottawa.

It's available.

I don't know what envelope that came out of. Uh, Maple Ridge— no, sorry, Wanek, BC.

Wanek. Wanek is no longer its own town. I think it's part of Maple Ridge. It was like a railroad stop by the river. I, I love those town names that are on the map, but don't really exist anymore.

Maple Ridge, Wanek. This is a really beautiful stained glass. Actually, I'll just hold it. It's a stained glass.

Beautiful! That's where the salmon are.

Oh God, this is going to— this, this, if this is going to be in my office, I love this kind of stained glass stuff.

That's so cool. Do we— did we want this one, the little charm with the Is that gonna be in under, like, the shortlist or the arts or the regular?

Uh, what do you think?

I don't know, it was nice. I liked it.

All right, let's shortlist. But remember that our shortlist is done. That is—

this shortlist is ready for you. This is so beautiful.

I want to— ready for me?

Yeah, I just couldn't get it open. I was having trouble with it. Just rip it. Rip it good.

Oh my gosh, okay.

I remember when that one came in because it has— I had to look it up. It's from Granisle. Granisle, BC. And, and that's not Granville Island.

Granisle. Holy moly. What? Well, we have found the overachiever, ladies and gentlemen.

Overachiever award.

We have found the overachiever contest entry. We should have booked a separate show just for this one. Yes. All right, from Granisle, BC. We have a Dawson Creek magnet. We have—

is this our first spoon? Oh, it is a spoon! I think they get recognition for that. I don't, I don't love the spoons, but that's a pretty bitch-ass spoon.

Hang on, trying to get it to focus.

Did people get mad at you yesterday for, uh, swearing in, in the—

no, for some reason they liked it. Actually, it was very good. We have another spoon. Ooh, a spoon with a bus on top of it.

Is that like a red bus from— yeah, it is from England.

Corporation of the Village of Granisle. We have "Always take the scenic route" from Mackenzie, BC. More Mackenzie stuff. Is this a patch? A Granisle emery board. That's cool. A button for Granisle Day. I told you these people were keeners. Another spoon.

Todd. What? I can't wait till you see this.

Okay, another spoon. This is really cool.

This is a bug on it. Is it a bug?

Oh, it is a bug. This is, this is soap. It's beaver butt soap. It's beaver butt soap.

Someone's just like, I'm gonna steal all of this gift shop.

A pin. Yeah, does this person own this gift shop? A pin, a really nice pin.

Maybe it's from a thrift store.

And I hope this person is here. Home of the world's largest tree crusher, Mackenzie, BC. You know what, this little thing I don't think is even valuable, this camera, so I'm just gonna put it over to the way. Um, we have wildflower seeds, that's cool, we might use those. We have another button, we have a magnet, that's beautiful.

That is beautiful. Northern Lights, maybe?

Yeah, I think so. We have a grant— wow, a badge from Grand Isle Fire Department.

Oh, I think that takes the cake.

Um, we have— we should have had some criteria though. We have like a thing, it has to have— this one we can't use because it does not have the name of the community on it. That was the rule. Uh, another button.

So was the letter mail, and no one listened into that one. The Van Isle Visitor Center.

Literally, they threw everything in here.

In Nova Scotia, our microclimates have microclimates.

Walt, tissues. Tissues. And from Mackenzie, BC, a sticker. So I'm going to leave you to put all these back. Thanks. Because this is—

I just opened this, so you get to show it to— Elaine, was that you?

Was that yours? Is this yours? No, that one was— where's the—

where's the thing this came in? What, the grand house?

This grand villa?

It might also be this, cuz I can't figure out where this— no, that's Peachland.

Okay, there you go.

Okay, this one has nothing in it. It might have been one of the ones— oh no, it does have something in it down there. Our dog is giving the entire neighborhood what for.

This needs— yeah. Peachland, BC. Beautiful area. Yes, they do grow peaches there.

Do you like peaches?

This is from Carolyn in Peachland.

Where did— oh God.

Um, and it is a really cute pin.

Peachland, BC. That is really pretty. I like pins with the like, uh, enamel, like epoxy on them.

You know what I want? I want to get a hat Oh, we can use that Quebec Nordique tag that you made for the video.

This is so cute. Okay, this one's going in the shortlist.

Wait, Elaine? Elaine was from Grand Isle?

Elaine, are you from Grand Isle? I loved it.

We don't know. We don't know.

Are these seeds? These must be seeds. I love it when people send wildflower seeds. Have I grown any? No. Next. I will though. See, like, that's amazing. Okay, well, you can't make me clean it up and want something next.

I do. From Blyth, Ontario. Blyth, Ontario. No name. Deb.

Out of sheer volume of different Grand Isle tourist things, that's gonna go to the Grand Isle person. Is that Elaine?

Is that what her name is? No, it was S. It started with S. This is, this is from Blyth, Ontario. Very cool. Very heavy, this one.

Do you know what this is?

It's like pewter, I think. What? Do you know what this is? Yeah, it's for— that camera's not there anymore.

Oh, it's for the coins.

Yeah, it's for like when you're— for like grocery store coins.

Yeah. Oh, it says Prince Rupert next. Next. This does say— it doesn't say that. Yeah, it says Prince Rupert.

From the seashells where I used to live.

This is from—

you did this already? I don't know. I don't think so. Did I?

Yeah, I think you did. A big heavy— yeah, charm. This one is also—

oh, do you want to go into the Discord and tell people we're doing this just in case people want to see?

I will do 800 things. Yes, sorry.

It's okay. Well, I can do it if you want me to stop and—

No, it's fine. I got it.

This is from Heather in Seashell, which is on the Sunshine Coast. Really cool. I love these very simple things. I accept your challenge to find a small souvenir of the small town where I live. Now, the Sunshine Coast is not small. Seashell is, so I'll fudge that sticker.

I love that sticker.

That's so cute. Seashell is, so I'll fudge those lines. I moved to Seashell on transfer as a probation officer from Abbotsford. I lived in Mission 25 years ago. Unlike you islanders, we coasters travel— you know, I used to be in Seashell. I lived for 7 years in Seashell. Used to travel to the city for any specialist appointment, hockey games, soccer games, real shopping, you get the point. In doing so, we are bombarded with, "Oh yes, you're here from the island." For the first 15 years, I'd just nod, but then something happened. I became emboldened by my demographic and started to try to educate people. Explaining, "Actually, it's a peninsula, but you have to take a ferry to access it." It didn't matter. A ferry equals an island. Period. So, some years back, a clever coaster came out with stickers that said, "Not an island." I love it. I love it. Now there are t-shirts.

But we can't wear it.

Now there are t-shirts, tea towels, stickers, and little cards. "Not an island" is practically a movement, celebrating our incredible home. That is true, it is peninsula, it is on the mainland, but you must take a ferry or a seaplane, so it feels like it's an island. But like technically you could, I think, off-road it, but I don't think there are actually any roads. I don't know why there aren't. I don't know why they don't just draw a road from Squamish to fucking Gibsons or Langdale or something and just—

nope, that one, there's something very small in it.

I've never understood. It's probably for the same reason that whenever they talk about building a bridge from Vancouver Island to the mainland, it goes nowhere because we don't want a bridge. Oh, this is— I just did this one. Oh, okay. Sorry, I know you're doing 9 things.

Yes. Okay, we got a pile. You can open some. Yeah, yeah. And when you just give—

I'll just do the opening.

You can— well, now, now that I've done all the things you asked me to do.

Killarney, Ontario. Kilarny, Ontario. This is how old I am, is whenever I read out the name or that read out something, I feel like doing this. Is, you know what, this is probably an older reference than you are.

So I try so hard not to get into age-related things. What is it? When I'm 9 years younger, do you know, do you know what this is from?

What this is from? Dog Day Night. Oh yeah, this Jimmy—

Jimmy— the legendary night show Jimmy— I forget his name. I'm bad with—

I can't remember his name either. I can't remember his name either, but Carson.

Johnny Carson. Johnny Carson. That's right. And, um, he used to pretend that he could guess— he had this horribly kind of racist hat. Yeah. And he would guess it. And they were, honestly, I got to tell you, they are the worst jokes. They were not funny. But we love him. I live in Killarney.

I live in Killarney, Ontario. Although I'll never be from Killarney, our little town has a permanent population of about 400 people. We are located between the beautiful shores of Georgian Bay on Lake Huron and Lake Cloche Mountains. Cloche. They're no Rockies, but they are awe-inspiring in their own right. The economic mainstay is tourism. So when I heard about your contest, I headed down to the— to the— sorry, I'm trying to do it so it's not blocking you.

No, that's fine.

I'm trying to read the chat. I headed down to the Gateway Restaurant and Bakery, which aside from amazing food and baking, sells works by local artists, craftspeople, and other touristy stuff. This caught my eye. I chuckled at the unfortunately placed 'On the Ontario license plate sticker. Contrary to what this sticker seems to convey, we are actually a friendly town and it is a wonderful place to discover.' Well, don't visit Killarney if your name is Arnie. 'I've been enjoying your Facebook posts,' it says. The Amazing Carnac. Yeah, that was it.

I got that one. Thank you. Swap.

Alright. Oh dear. Okay, this is from Le Duc. Which I assume is Quebec. Oh yeah, you're right, it's Alberta. Sorry, it's Leduc, Alberta. There are French people in Alberta. There's— there are two. Yeah, there are two.

There's, there's two French people in Alberta.

I write to you from Leduc, Alberta. Leduc was established in 1891 by Robert Telford, a settler who bought land near a small lake that today bears his name. Telford established a stopping space for the stagecoach line in 1889 connecting Edmonton to Calgary. It became known as Telford's Place. Today this location hosts Telford House. This is kind of a long letter, so forgive me. I will read— I will put it aside and read it later. But this is from Colleen in Leduc.

Okay, next, next time it's gonna be a writing contest. 3 sentences on your channel. You're not kidding. 3 sentences.

That's not a bad idea. But that's like— haiku?

Oh, Bill Richardson did the haiku thing once. It was so great. But you can open that one. I think it's already open.

Yeah, but we need something people can mail. Well, they can mail it hermetically sealed in a jar on Funko Wagnalls porch. I remember that line too.

And maybe it should be like, um, 3 sentences. And if you don't— if you write a whole letter and don't indicate the 3 sentences, we will choose them at random.

Janet in Ottawa, this incredibly cool— that is really cool— colorful 3D-ish Ottawa magnet. Yeah, it's rubberized. And a really cool card showing the Ottawa River. And more, lots, lots of postcards showing Ottawa.

Oh, this postcards, and it will allow me to very much confuse people.

Very famous Ottawa, very famous— what?

Very famous scene in Ottawa. It'll let me— let us confuse people. Look at our sunny Ottawa trip. What's sunny Ottawa?

This is the House of Commons, by the way. We have many Americans on the thing today. And this is what the sort of what it looks like from the sky. Beautiful building.

Wow. Donald Sutherland.

The Prime Minister's office is over here, is like over here, I think. It's not actually in the Parliament. I'm—

I, I gotta look at that postcard because I was looking at the House of Commons today trying to explain something to to one of the visiting health workers. Oh, don't do that, that's got tape. Here, that one's easier. And they, okay, you gotta try and put them back. And I was looking at the House of Commons, the actual like place where they vote, and I didn't, I couldn't figure out from the image where, like did they raise the whole roof of the House of Commons and put glass around it? Yes.

That's exactly what they did, actually. Okay, sorry, go ahead. This comes from Bill Cunningham, who is the deputy mayor— ooh— of his almost worship of Trochu.

Trochu. That's Alberta.

It's got to be Trochu. Trochu. Anyway, uh, this is really cool because Trochu is, uh, home of the world's largest golf tee. And so they have a memorable—

That's the stuff I love.

This is not it, by the way, but there you go. From— Hi, Momo! Trochu. Hi, Momo. Trochu. Trochu. It's hard to try to speak French and have retainers in. Okay. Okay, I can't. Yeah, thank you. This is from— well, they, they put their last name, their post office box, and there's a postal code, and that was it. No city name. Where—

what? Oh, that A— where is A? I think it's in Newfoundland.

Oh, Newfoundland! Newfoundland it is indeed. So Newfoundland, only our third from Newfoundland.

Yeah, Newfoundland stamps must be really expensive over there.

And these are some—

these are The stamps are the same price. That's why I chose letter mail, you guys. I didn't want anyone to have to pay more than— what, what is it, 90 cents now?

A really cool—

this one was already open. We must have opened that one, one of the early ones. I think this is another one.

And no, no letter explaining this one, so I'm sorry, I don't have— oh, hang on now, wait a minute. You'll have to excuse the dog hair that made its way into this envelope. Do you have any say— do you have any idea how long it takes for a piece of mail to travel from rural Newfoundland to the other side of your country? I do not know.

Well, mail from the mainland to the island takes at least a week, which is weird.

Yeah, it's—

and it's like an hour by ferry. It was nowhere.

Now, where do you want me to be putting things too.

I'll take it. Yeah.

Uh, this is unmarked.

Here, you can put this one on your right-hand side, this bag.

That's, that's the done pile?

Done pile. Yeah. Unless they go in this shortlist.

Okay. Oh, gross. Holy crap, that's a— I can't make it stand up, there's so many. There we go.

Okay, so much to sort out.

Oh, sorry, Momo, I thought I set it to no ads. This is from Kamloops.

I got an ad too when I looked in on it. Kamloops, oh, that's cool. The tournament capital of BC. BC. This one is ready. This one when it's ready. Okay, easy. You have a question? Shoot, Carmen.

No, we just did this. I just— okay, let's see that one.

Summerland, the often, uh, often vacation spot. Summerland. Carmen, spit it out.

Well, no, don't. No, no, I was asking for— I know, I'm trying to, I'm trying to figure out mute, but I don't know how to mute. Um, no, no, they have a question. I'm aware. What I was going to say under mute is that when people come on to live streams and they use the phrase 'I have a question,' they are almost always spam. Oh, okay. So I just— they may, they may be a real person. I'm sorry, Carmen, if you are, but they're usually— and I usually just ignore them because The next question is probably going to be— oh, it's a real person. It's a real person with a real question. OK. Thank you. Great. How dare you. Sorry. Often whenever you— for some reason there are spammers that come onto YouTube lives. And they always start with, "I have a question," or, "If you don't mind, I have a question." And then the question is some bizarre thing about, "Can I paint your image for free?" And then it just becomes a big scam.

And so I am so sorry, Carmen. He's hyper, hyper sensitive to it.

I am a little bit. This is from— what— and your question was, what possessed us to do this idea? Sheer, sheer listening to my wife.

So Tod was getting to the point where he needed a PO box, and I was like, I don't want my husband to have to pay for a PO box and not get anything. Like, I was like, that would be sad for my muffin. So I thought up a contest that would be A) inexpensive and B) just for fun. And, um, and it was supposed to be easy. Nothing's easy. Nothing's easy with the creative genius. Um, so yeah, it was supposed to be easy. And anyway, we got a lot of mail. We did get a lot of mail. And we have learned some important lessons. You do not extend the postal time. We are super lucky that the post office— the postal strike didn't happen while we were doing it.

And, um, yeah. Okay, Victoria, um, this is my entry in this card is from Summerland, BC. Oh, sorry, wrong side. I think I did that one. Okay. This is a very long card. I will try to summarize it. This is a brochure of our upcoming 111th Fall Fair, of which I am personally inviting you. Thank you. We got this too late. Have a look at the QR code at the back of the page. And this is— I was looking at it earlier. This is actually the cutest thing. It's like, the great— look at this. How can you pass up the Great Zucchini Bobsled Race? Baking with children. Followed by U12 Zucchini zucchini races, followed by potato sack races. I love it already. Followed by Baking with Children. What could go wrong? A session called What the Fungus. I love these. That's so cool. I love those.

I feel like we're like basking in the glow of Bill Richardson right now.

Junior— Class 3A Junior Vegetables. Junior Cripps Cup Golden Fruit Bowl. Oh, does anyone remember VeggieTales?

Broccoli, celery, vitamins, collard greens. All right, okay, this one is our first from Yukon! Holy—

except it's from the Northwest Territories, actually. Oh, why did I think—

okay, sorry, my bad. It's our first from the Northwest Territories! Hello from Ottawa. Oh, tsukomido! Yeah, there's stuff inside. I've felt it up. But did you open it? No, it was like partially open. I thought it was inside. Here. I didn't actually, because I thought it was—

I thought it was just paper. Oh, there you go. All right. So many interesting ones. Do they tenderize the kids first? All right, Yellowknife, Northwest Territory.

I gotta see, do they roll the zucchini down the road is my question. Emiged.

And I don't know how to— Ptermigan. Emiged. Emiged.

Ptermigan.

Emiged. Ptermigan. What is ptermigan? Do you know?

Ptarmigan. It's a northern bird. Oh. P-T-A-R-M-I-G-A-N. Emiged. Ptarmigan. Ptermigan. I want to put that on the fridge.

I love that. Makes me laugh. And we have knifer. I'm not sure what, what that— why that is. Oh, yellow. Oh, yellow knife. Yellow. Oh, it's a yellow knife. Oh, see, this is why you should just have this on your channel, cuz I'm not. And then this is beautiful.

Um, who was it who said if I put these on my tree I should share the photo? That's why you should follow Tod's channels, because we will put them on the Christmas tree and show you.

Oh, that's a great idea.

What our tree looks like.

That is a great idea.

Cuz you will have blessed us with all kinds of fun stuff from all over the country, which I love.

Where did this one come from?

Uh-oh, you took it out of the bag. I did not open that. Fuck. Where's his name? Pass it to me and I'll figure it out.

Okay, this one is Saskatoon, Saskatchewan. This was in that big paper envelope. Saskatoon, Saskatchewan. Kamloops. Hi, Todd. This pin is Saskatoon's official logo. It's on billboards as you approach the city. You should visit us sometime. Saskatoon is a beautiful little university city. Saskatoon is beautiful.

I have been there. I've been to that university.

Thank you for consistently brightening my day with your sharp wit, astute— well, this guy's written it written to someone else.

Look at those beautiful handwriting.

Wow. No problem. I am embarrassed by our present provincial government. You always remind me to stay proud and grateful to be Canadian. And here it is. Oops. Saskatoon. Saskatoon.

Aww, how cute is that? Love it.

Thank you, Maryanne from Saskatoon. Yeah, the yellow knife is a good— I don't know how I didn't get that.

I'm gonna have to dig through to get that.

Bowen Island, BC. Also a ferry ride right out of Horseshoe Bay, with a kind of cousin to us.

Kind of like an expensive suburb, rural but expensive suburb of Vancouver.

This is an image of the official Bowen Island bird, the official bird of Bowen Island.

I love it, that's perfect.

It's a slug, I think. Oh, it's a slug. And then That is—

that is— that's beautiful. That is the fairy.

Um, the official bird. There are lots of slugs on Bowen Island, and while the Pacific banana slug is our regular mascot, regular black slugs infest our gardens. Rumor has it the slugs are thrown out of our gardens so often that they have learned to fly and thus became our official bird. That's hilarious. And then the Kraken. We depend on our ferry, but not everyone on Bowen Island wants to blame BC Ferries for all of the woes that come with dependency. In comes the Kraken, someone else to blame when the ferry is later broken. Blame it on the Kraken. Both are from Bowen Island artists and purchased from The Real Rapunzel, an awesome little artist studio and shop that sells various items for of Canadian artists and crafters. I have been there. Welcome. The goal is mostly to have fun and to talk about interesting Canadian stories. And the winner, which will be awarded tonight, wins a huge prize pack of all—

You're getting so close to the end.

—all gourmet BC food, and 6 lifetime memberships to my newsletter. Premium memberships. The good shit. OK. This is from— Somewhere in Ontario. Kathleen in Ontario. It says regards to your wife, and it's from Cornwall, Ontario.

Obviously Cornwall, Ontario. Um, I have family from Cornwall, England, which is not the same place at all, but it's a beautiful place. Mental health counselor and my wife is an LPN. Milo! You need to get on our Discord. I mean, assuming you're from the US, but even if not, you want to move to Vancouver Island and do practice those professions, let me know.

Okay, Etobicoke, Ontario. Oh, VeggieTales, Deanne! Etobicoke, Ontario. This is a large, uh, letter that I will not be able to read. Oh my gosh. We have this sticker.

This looks like Kingston to me, but, um, they were built in the same time, probably.

There we go. Beloved by many in Mimico, the Blue Goose Tavern has a long history. So there's a lot of—

that's interesting.

So there's a lot of information in there, which we can see the bottom of the bag. And by the way, I will— if you've sent something here No, Dan, you haven't missed it yet. If you've sent something and it's a long letter and we look at it briefly and move on to the next one, rest assured we will be going through these and reading each of them separately. It might take us several months, but we will. Anything you wrote to us, we will read.

Maybe we'll put like a quote of some of them on your feeds, like on a story or something.

From Woodstock, Ontario. Woo-hoo! This pins. I'm just trying to do it so the address is—

Ontario's killing us.

Oh, Theatre Woodstock, it's a theatre, theatre kids thing.

Well, Woodstock, doesn't Woodstock—

Oh yeah, Woodstock has the big festival.

Yeah, isn't it like a theatre festival there?

Yeah, it's like a Shakespearean.

Stratford, Stratford's the Shakespearean. I don't know Woodstock. Can someone from Ontario, because there's always someone from Ontario, can you tell us how to, which What kind of theater is there? Put it on your side, Bummer.

Yeah, I know. We are maybe— it looks like we are about—

We can see the bottom!

It looks like we are about maybe 10 to 12, maybe 15 letters away from the end, which means that we then start to review the shortlist and award the winner. This is from Lone Butt, BC. Oops. Butte. I think it's butte. I know, but I just like saying Lone Butt.

Momo, I, um— There's also Perth. We got something from Perth, Ontario, which is also, uh, I think that's Scottish. Oh, that's cute. District of 100 Mile House. Where's Kelly when you need her?

Oh yeah, our friend. Show us a map with pins from all your entries. We had, we had thought to do that, but it just— next, next, next.

When we go through them, maybe I will do that because that appeals to me.

Hi Todd, I really enjoy your channel. The Tiny Treasures contest is a great idea. I hope you get lots of entries. Things up. I am sending you a Toronto Transit Commission token. Oh, this is our third!

I love it. I love the genre. I'm super excited.

Until June of 2025, this would have gotten you a ride on our public transit system, TTC. Oh, I think that's actually one, the first one. Which is known locally as take the car.

Oh, that's terrible.

This little guy may have crisscrossed Toronto dozens of times going from pocket to fare box to be collected and resold to do it all over. However, as the TTC no longer accepts tokens— oh sorry— as fair payment, it has been relegated to a souvenir of the past. It's a cute souvenir though, destined to get lost in the couch or sucked up in the vacuum. So I've decided to send it on one last epic journey, not across the city but across the country. Happy travels, little guy, and thanks for a job well done.

Nice. Thanks. Confession, we opened the first bundle of— and on a live in August. And that was one of them, and I remember it because it's very cute. Momo and Dexter are thinking of all the English names that became names in Canada. New Glasgow, New Waterford, Halifax, Nova Scotia.

Burlington, Ontario. Is this from the mayor again? No? Burlington. Burlington, Ontario. Nice little pin from Burlington there. That's nice. From Murray. Thank you, Murray. Murray is a healthcare professional in Burlington, Ontario. Hi, sweet girl. This is from Woodstock. Another Woodstock. Really? "Is this the second or third Biggest Little Contest Live?" This is the first annual, maybe never to do again. This is the first one. But this is our third episode because we got so many. We are on hour number 6 of opening these. But we're only another, like, 15 minutes away before we get to the end. And then we will award the winner.

I love how many of these we've had.

The winner. There were some Squire Malta entries. There's at least one, I think maybe more. Woodstock is the dairy capital of Canada. The pin is churro.

Come here.

The pin is the Springbank Snow County's record-breaking butter fart. Excuse me, did you say butter fart? Butter fat. Listen, if any of you fuckers repeat that in the chat, I swear to God. Uh, butter fat produced for 21 years.

I know, Gene, I have to say the funny part is we both dressed up for that first one, and look at us now.

That's a good point.

We're barely dressed.

That's a good point though. It is the finale.

Well, when we get there, you can put your jacket on.

That's true. When we go to— yeah, I will put on the, uh, the jacket when we get to the end of these. Well, Carmen, it might be annual, but we're gonna have to change it in some way because it's just— it is so much that we got. —Oh, that's cool! —that we were not expecting this level and this volume. Oh, sorry. Did I swear again? They slip out of me sometimes. This is a bottle cap.

Lucy, my virgin ears!

This bottle cap is actually a gift certificate. No way! How cool is that? From our community general store. Each cap is valued at about $1. Nova Scotia. This store has a cork stamped inside with the name of the store in our community of Earltown, Nova Scotia. Most people buy these and keep them as souvenirs. Earltown, Nova Scotia has 55 residents, and 20 of them live in the metropolis of downtown. That is so cool. I love the little— I think this is going into the shortlist, don't you? Yeah, I agree. I agree. I love that it—

you gotta make sure it all gets in there.

Oh yeah, I love that it's currency. I love that the bottle cap— so also, yeah, exactly, it also gets an extra point because we are fans of the Fallout series in video game and they use bottle caps as currency in that video game as well.

And they use letter mail.

Peterborough, Peterborough, Ontario. Nice card from Peterborough, Ontario. And a nice thing— I tried to find a souvenir of Peterborough's famous lift lock or something with the Canoe Museum logo, but it didn't have Peterborough on it, which was one of the conditions. But it was really a cool petroglyph of a canoe. So this is the best I can do. The Canoe Museum is well worth a visit. I'd offer to put you up if you came here, but our house is not accessible, but we could spot you a room at the house. So I love that someone thought of that. The Canoe Museum.

Can museum?

Canoe Museum in Peterborough, Ontario.

Oh yeah, do you know what I'm thinking?

Yeah, I do. Okay, I should put this aside for those people. Um, so I'm, uh, I can't say much about this, but I'm working with a television production company on something related to museums, a Canadian museum. That's all I can say about it.

Um, Momo said I'd love to.

Hey! Oh, can you not please?

She hasn't been fed. Poor dog.

Well, you can do that, I'll do this. Oh cool.

I know your nemesis from downstairs is outside. We shush.

This is from Beth in Oshawa, and it is a beautiful— what is with all the Ontarians? And it is a beautiful coin. No.

A beautiful coin. Pretty.

Let's see how long we can stretch that growl. Oshawa. My grandmother was from Oshawa. She was? Yeah. Oh, and a really, a real— well, by the way, really cool card. It's like a 3D kind of thing with a cat sitting on there. Like it.

We found out that they— there are charities that take stamps. Um, for fundraising purposes. So we're gonna do our best to collect all of the stamps, um, and send them in to one of the— I think, um, Oxfam is one of them that does it. And yeah, so you get to have some other impact too.

L'Artanajeez is by St. John's, Newfoundland. Hi, Todd, here is my entry into your contest for the smallest item from the province of Newfoundland. I found I found this old coin during my hike. This is from Nora Ford. I found this old coin during my hike on a mountain which is in St. John's. As we are the last to join Confederation, I assume that it came with the ships from England. I hope it brings you good luck. My name is Nora and I am 13 years old.

Nora! We have a 16-year-old Nora in our family. She's our nibbling, and we think she's great. Nora, I'm gonna—

it's— it is really hard to see because it's so— let me try and get the light down here. I can't even really— there we go, kind of.

Do you mean give you a little from my phone?

No, I think that's— there we go. Hi, you're okay. So Nora, I'm gonna try and track down someone in our community who might be able to restore this. So if you're watching, we're gonna hang on to this. Because if it really is a coin that came from the ships from England, that's— that would be amazing. That's pretty cool. It's a great story. And thank you for participating from St. John's, Newfoundland.

Oh, Newfoundland, love it. Hello, welcome Salem, Oregon.

Welcome, Oregon. We love Oregon. Are you— are those to keep? Yeah, those are like my to-do things with later. Uh, Winnipeg, Winnipeg, Manitoba. What in the living hell is this? Hang on a second.

I had to cut some of this open for you because I couldn't figure out what they meant.

It's a collection of some of our most famous sites, and even the Golden Boy is pictured. This is from Denise. Denise. Oh, I see. Oh, I see. It's just, it's just that it was stuck. Sorry, I saw this and it's just, that's just what she was using to stick to, like, let it be mailed in letters. Yeah, exactly. So that's really cool.

Where are the last 5?

We're down to the last 5 envelopes. I love this. Can it stand up?

That is cool. I love that old-timey, like, word name kind of art.

And Denise asks, "What are your plans with all the souvenirs you'll end up with?" So there was a no-return policy because we would not— we had hundreds, so there's no way we'd be able to return them all. So we're kind I'm hanging on to them. For the pins, I think we're going to put them all on a single hat. Yeah. And see what that looks like. For the hanging things, I think we'll put them on our Christmas tree and take a photo of it. And for anything valuable, we'll sell. And, uh, no, I don't know.

Aww. Our grandma sent us a check. Your grandma? No. Oh. Isn't that— my grandma used to give us a check for birthdays. She didn't know what to get us. No, she gave us weed.

No, this is from Bowser, BC. This is from Harrison in Bowser, BC. Oh, check this dude out! Look at this dude, he's happy. He's a happy boy. I'm waiting to see mine. Oh no, Susan, I wonder if Canada Post— I hope yours got here, Susan. I know you've been here.

We'll find it if we We'll go back over them and let you know.

This is Joanne Harrison in Bowser. Oh! We have a fare pass! It's— and it actually says— the Festi-Off! —Tod Maffin and Gaz. Which is lovely, but it is long past, unfortunately. Not your fault.

This is our fault. That was probably sent in the first batch when they thought the end was like the 22nd or something.

I love that we're getting programs from all the fall fairs.

That's kind of fun. And it's like Couchin, Qualicum Beach— no, uh, Oceanside, Qualicum Beach.

Look at this dude.

I forgot that Qualicum was Qualicum Beach at one point. I was like, is that the right word?

Yes, the magnets will go on the fridge for sure.

And I'm a big fan of fridge magnets personally. Even— yeah, those are all opened.

I'm just looking for the names. Are those still left to go?

Yeah, those—

I haven't opened these yet. Okay. Oh shit, what did I just do with these? Winnipeg. This was the cool Winnipeg thing.

Yeah.

Manitoba, Manitoba, BC. Is that this one?

Yeah, it had two envelopes.

Oh yeah, that's why. Okay.

And they were— yeah, I I think that's what's happening is sometimes they have multiple envelopes.

Yeah. I like that they're like Canadian maple leaf envelopes.

Yeah, it's cute. It's like a little match set.

Michigan, Florida. Watching from— a few Florida people. Welcome. Yeah. Welcome. If you're new and you have no idea what's going on, by the way, we did a little contest asking people to send us the tiniest trinket from their hometown in Canada. As long as it could fit in a letter-size envelope and had the community name on it. And we were overwhelmed with them. And we are nearing the end of going through all of the things. So this is from Kaitlyn in Regina.

Susan, where are you from? Just let us know because I'm wondering. Windsor, Nova Scotia?

Kaitlyn in Regina. From— they are— it looks like they have a precision print thing, so they made— oh, that's a hockey stick and it came with a puck.

Oh, I love it! And where's that?

That is from— that is Caitlin from Balgonie, Saskatchewan. Oh my mom, you know what? I want to see the numbers on that, on the provinces that you've been tracking, because I also want to see the per capita numbers. Oh, like how they rank.

Look at Ontario and then look at Quebec. This is— this is not a representative sample, as they would call it. Although we're not doing it in French, so we wouldn't really expect it to.

Uh, this is from Brooks, Alberta. For those that live here, we—

I think that's the second from Brooks, if I remember correctly.

Um, and from Brooks, Alberta, we have a large— oh, I remember getting that one. Uh, we have a large beef slaughterhouse and feedlot on the outskirts of town. This large economic— this large economic drives provides jobs, community donations, and ultimately Alberta beef to Canada and beyond. Newcomers and visitors complain about the smell of our city. The longer you stay here, the greater the nose blindness we develop. For those who live here, we just call it the smell of money. Yikes. I mean, it is.

Susan writes from Nova Scotia. Okay, I don't think we have yours.

I don't think it came.

Sorry, but we will be going through to take all the—

Susan, when did you send it? Functional items. I sent you pumpkin seeds from a 700-pound-plus dill Atlantic giant seed. We did not get that.

We get that. Didn't get that one.

We would have remembered. Amazing. We did not receive that.

So I would— you get an honorary award.

So I— that's original. I will check Well, I can't check. There's no Canada Post. No. No, the strike. Um, this is from Selina in Chilliwack.

Okay. There's— as the British say, Chilliwack.

And then there's some stickers as well. I love your videos. My graphic artist nephew on Instagram, Subhelic. "if you like this person's work, you can find them on Instagram." Oh, that's cool. "Subhelic." Subhelic. "Visited us here in Chilliwack last year. He designed all these fridge magnets and stickers of local trails." I love them. "Hubby and I are now in our 50s. We used to frequently hike. We are now doing gentle exercises as hubby has advanced arthriarthritis in his right knee." Oh, sorry. Wonderful. Why don't you get a new one?

I got a new hip and look at me walking. I get to make those jokes.

I don't think people understand the joke.

Oh well, do any of you know that I'm in a wheelchair? There you go. You can't see it, but I'm clearly hovering. Yes. Okay, Stony Plain, Alberta.

Oh cool. And this is it, this is all that's left. Oh. I sent it before the original end day you announced the contest.

So that was an early one. I'm ticked for you too, Susan.

You've been here before. I'm really sorry.

Sorry. We will look through, but I think we can—

we would— I would have remembered.

We will arrange you a little something. Stony— I know a guy.

Stony Plain, Alberta. Um, so some cards. Explore our murals. So they have murals in Stony Plain and a really funky hand-done Stony Plain thing.

Oh, that'll be a nice tree ornament. Dog Rump. Did you see what it says on the back?

Dog Rump Creek.

Dog. It must have been a very special dog rump, or maybe it just relieved itself in the creek and someone never forgot it.

Calgary, Alberta, from Anita in Calgary. Oh, these— I love these. I love these things. We've seen a couple of them. Amazing decorations. They're like— they're rubber, right? They're like this rubber thing. Yeah, and they're like that. They're 3D. They kind of remind me of that fun colorful clay that you'd bake and put in the oven. Yeah, like Fimo.

Yeah, like Fimo friendly plastic or whatever it was. Oh my God, the '80s or '90s and friendly plastic, those like earrings. Oh man, that was too— that was funny. Calgary, Alberta. You are, Sue? Well, we're buddies then.

Hello, Todd. Here is my smallest souvenir. It is a commemorative coin representing my hometown of Surrey, Manitoba.

Oh, do we say Calgary? We'll say Surrey then. I'm gonna take you off of Alberta.

Manitoba. Souri is a very picturesque town situated on the Souri River. The population is 1,800. It's been the same since 1950. Oh. They have the strongest swinging bridge in Canada, but this is their real claim to fame of all the peacocks that roam freely about town. That's cool. Ah. The campground is full all summer. So Carolyn, thank you. That was—

that's a beautiful point. This is a very original one you should open next.

Okay, or should I save it to the last one?

I don't care, whatever you'd like.

I'll do next. This is— look at the front of it. Also from Calgary?

Oh no, not necessarily. Oh, okay, the envelope. It's a service. If someone uses service to send us something.

Oh. Oh cool, it is from Calgary. Thanks for letting us send this to you. My name is Adam. Oh, it's their business. I live in Calgary, but I'm originally from Cape Breton. I have a small business that makes wooden guitar picks. Wow, wooden picks are different from plastic picks in the way that they sound. I saw your post and I thought my picks might be the perfect item that you are looking for. "I'm sending a Cape Breton pic and a few of our exotic wood pics for you. I'm not sure if you play guitar or not." I don't, I'm sorry.

I have guitar. I'll put it with the guitar. You have a guitar? Yeah, I don't play anymore, but it's a special guitar for the short-statured guitarist, and I've been meaning to donate it to a special— a program called VAMS, and it's Adapted Music Society, and it's for people with disabilities who need assistance to get into music. So I will add that to the package. These are beautiful. They are. I love things made out of wood. They're so pretty. Susan Wright— oh, Susan said, I'll tell you what I said in my letter. Well, no, we're known as the town of big firsts. We're, we're known as the birthplace of hockey. I didn't know that. Um, and I'm gonna mark you on our tally as Nova Scotia. Um, and birthplace— oh, oldest agriculture fair in North America, 260 years. Holy— um, everything melts when left in the car. Here's all that's left.

Yep. Battleford, Saskatchewan.

Oh, not North Battleford? Is it just Battleford?

I'm just relying on what they write.

Okay, that's cool. I thought it was like north and south. The straw carrier is empty.

Thank you for your inspiring YouTubes. I live in the middle of nowhere. Here is some oats. Here are some oats from a nearby field. That is pretty great.

Here are some oats. It does not say the name of the town, though.

Diana, thank you. That is true. We do have— we did have one very strict rule, which is that the souvenir had to have the name of the community on it. But we can do something with these. I don't know what. And you also included something else, which I'm not going to mention publicly. But thank you for that as well. That was very sweet of you. So let us— Where was she from again? That was from Battleford, Saskatchewan. Right, I got that one. Battleford, Saskatchewan. Yeah, I love the guitar picks too. Um, what is it with this envelope though, bro?

This is Churro, and there's a new dog living downstairs, and Churro is not sure what to think about that, but she's cute.

Oliver, British Columbia. "The town of Oliver." Cute. No letter, no explanation. I like it. Effective, consistent, effective, and, well, you know. This is super cute. Oh, no, that's my address. I've made it public. Why would I be afraid of showing my—

Well, we're trying to be careful to not.

This is from— from— oh, this is cool. So cool. It's— so the reason is this, is that it's literally just a piece of paper that has been folded into an envelope and a stamp put on it. But hey, whatever.

That's, that's not a—

it's not, it's not bad at all. Yeah, creative.

I like it.

And it says, this button is from my vintage button collection from the '90s. Oops. But I don't see a button.

Do you? I didn't see— oh, oh, I do. I saw the button was loose. It was a badge and it was yellow and it's in the bag.

And it fell out because of this weird envelope thing?

No, because we opened one shipment, like one bundle, and a bunch of things fell out. We have a little pile here.

Oh, okay, we will go looking for that to have it made at home. Sorento, BC, where I spent many summers because my mom— I thought you might— um, wasn't, uh, is was an Anglican priest and went to Sorrento. There's a— an Anglican— it's like a training— no, it's not. It's like a summer camp, essentially. Kind of like an adult summer camp.

Oh, and look at this!

It's Anglican, because of course it is. Actually, I don't know if it's Anglican, but someone sent an order of service from an Anglican church. Some sort of Christian thing. Shushwap.

No, it says the— oh no, I guess the— isn't it swap with an A?

I thought it was too.

Oh, maybe Maybe I, I don't know, maybe I am relearning. Huh. St. David's, it says.

Oh, it was just the paper. Here is my tiny shoe swap souvenir. Funny thing is I don't play pickleball. Here is a shoe swap pickleball something sticker. I wouldn't see a large market for this. It is yours. That's funny. The only paper in my car that had space to write is a church bulletin Go figure. That's so funny. All right, yeah, that seems, that seems like Anglican liturgy to me. This— oh, I think 3 left. 3 left.

Did you open this one with the, um, Morse code? I did not.

This is—

oh, the dog is staring at me from beside her bowl.

Georgina, Ontario. I've never heard of Georgina, Ontario. It is a garbage tag. It is a garbage tag from the city of Georgina. I freaking love that.

I'm putting that one in the joke bin.

In the joke bin. Okay, because that was so funny. And then, and then there's like a Morse code. So let's see if ChatGPT can decode it. Cuz sometimes ChatGPT can do weird, weird stuff like this. Okay, I'll open this one. Okay, okay. This is Morse code. Decode it. Oh, I've decoded the Morse code from your image. What? Here's the message written out in plain text. Good job decoding. "Good job decoding this secret message." Ha!

I did it all by myself. That would be such a boring kids' book. Did anyone read those books about the, like, plucky kids from England who, like, had adventures? And that would have been the shortest kids' book.

"To the best Canadian history teacher, Tod Maffin." Aww. This is from Petrolia, Ontario.

Another Place I've never heard of. Wow.

And it is, I assume, is named after petroleum.

Yeah, it seems like it.

And then here are some churches of Petrolia. Methodist, English.

Oh, we have lost another envelope that I, I think I think you stole the other.

Hold the Morse code to see if I can still read it. Yeah, sure, hang on a second. Oh, here, get ready to take a screenshot of it. Here comes someone. Oh, someone mentioned that it was theirs. So this one, the Morse code earlier. Okay.

Oh, you must have broke their heart using GPT.

I know.

Uh, all right, there you go. Patrulla is near Sarnia.

There you go, that's the Morse code. Uh, that's me. Wait, wait, which one is you? Which one is you? Dragonfly 2? No, the person up here. This, that's me. The Morse code is you.

That's very cool.

Um, Margaret Fraser, to the best Canadian. Oh, we did that one.

Okay, this one I just opened while Tod was doing that. It's from Karine from Sorrento, which I'm confused because it's shoe swap, but it matches.

Sorrento's in the shoe swap.

Oh, okay, well, that would be why. It's a nice magnet. And more salmon. People love their salmon. Look at that salmon, so bright!

What kind of salmon is that? Sockeye?

I think the sockeye is the red.

Sockeye is red on the inside. I've never— I didn't know they were that bright red.

I think that might be spawning. Salmon. That's great. In my elementary school, they had the Salmonid Enhancement Program, and we raised salmon from fish— from eggs until they got released in the stream.

This Just Me person was the Morse code person.

Awesome! Please don't— please don't what? That's amazing. Thank you so much. Okay, are we— is that it? Yeah. Um, oh, this one I think we found earlier, and We lost part of the gift and now we found it. So you could read about it. I don't know if we announced it.

I remember that. We did that one. Yeah, I think so too. Ladies and gentlemen, we have reached the end of the entries. After more than 6 hours, 3 episodes, we have reached the end. And we are now entering Act 2 of the show, which is to review the shortlist and award the winner.

I have a proposal.

Why didn't this work? Hold on. It does sound like you, doesn't it?

Okay, I was gonna suggest that we, um, give— how many you've got? 5 spawning sockeye, they were 5 newsletter 6. So if we do, we give one to our friend Sue. Yeah. And, um, and we pick the balance and save one for the funny ones. Okay. Just one.

Yeah, sure. Okay. All right, here's what we got.

It's gonna be lightning round, baby.

All right, so this is— we have now— we are now about to review the shortlisted, the ones that we put aside that we said we are going to consider these for the awards. One of these that you're about to see will be the grand prize winner, and we have some other prizes as well. And Sue, Sue who the pumpkin seeds didn't get to us, please message me, and then we will get you something as well.

Susan Wright, I think that's you. OK. This is— we've seen that one already. That was the one from Grand Isle with all the different things, the spoons and the—

I think that's— just for the sheer volume.

And a lot of them are very creative. Yeah. I remember this one, and this is kind of my number one.

Oh, this is your number one? I think so. Okay.

It's hard. There's so many.

All right, so this one—

Okay, the lights are burnt out because of me. Okay. It's not anyone's fault.

So this is— these are the shortlisted ones. So you've seen these before if you've been here before. So this is a little box, and inside the box, it's 3D printed, are some whoops, are some lights. And then there's battery. And when this lights up, it lights up in different colors. It's the skyline of Montreal.

It's so cool, and it's all colored, and it looks really, really cool.

So there's that, is in consideration.

Yeah, you want to like rank them so that the top one's over here, and then yeah, I'll just move them around. Okay, seems like an idea.

Can we agree though Okay, that because this is my contest. Whose idea was it? Oh, yours. No, you can—

it's yours because otherwise how are we— we're gonna be putting, uh, sex appeal, but we're gonna be—

we're gonna be putting them in like different orders if we're both trying to write.

Sparkly jacket!

Oh, sparkly jacket!

Can you get my sparkly jacket? No, you go get it and I will start opening. I can't reach it, it's on the top shelf. That's my excuse. Cowling jacket. Here's coming, it's coming. Okay, um, okay, I knew we'd had another one from Souris. Souris, I think that's, um, French for mouse, right? Manitoba. It is— of all of the carved wooden items we got, this is the nicest. It has like— it's very— she's chunky, um, and it's by Ty and Kathleen. Um, so I really like that one. That's a middle for me. I don't want it to lose its, um, because how do we know? Yeah, I know, I know.

Yeah, let's move this.

And this is from someone from Montreal, if I remember.

Yeah, this is the Montreal box. Okay, okay.

Um, and I, I put the big heavy box, so Gran Isle over there.

So is this one, is this one for you? Better or worse. Like this, like, here's, here's what we— here's how we do this is we've got— this is the current, the current high bar. Okay, so when we open them, head to head them. Yeah, we're gonna head to head them. So if this one is better in our mind than the current one, then it moves into the winner's circle. Otherwise, we'll have— we'll rank them. This one, I still like this one. Yeah, so Montreal Box Mix maintains its position. Currently in the lead.

Okay, now I get to ask you.

Hang on, let's, let's, uh, put this— oh, it's not gonna work anyway.

Okay, what do you think of— okay, ready? What do you think of which one? Oh, I picked that one, right? Yeah. Okay, I agree. Versus this one.

Oh, this one is so— listen, So.

This guy is from, hang on, I've got to look at the letter.

Nova Scotia. I've made a decision. OK. This one is lovely, and really funky, and really cool. Yeah. But is new material. It doesn't have a lot of Canadian history in it. I know. It's not very Canadian. This is Canadian history. It's used as currency. It has the name of the community. Like, this one, this one replaces the Montreal in my mind. So this is the current— hang on, let's— where did my little thing go? Where did my thing go?

Yeah, you need the thing.

I need the thing on. Isn't it that one? There it is. Oh, okay. Oh, there we go. We'll put it right there. Thanks.

Wow, it feels so special.

All right, this is the winner's circle right here. This is the current, the current champion, and we are reviewing, comparing these with, with other ones. And this one is, if you'll recall, this is a currency as well. I love that it's worth a dollar.

Like, the Canadian tuxedo bottoms are great with the sparkle jacket. I love it. Pajamas. OK. Shontay, well, Grand Isle is small. I thought it was a group effort. Seriously, I love the Grand Isle package. Our next— He's untamed, this one.

You can't expect much from him. Our next competitor— OK. —is— what?

That's the one with the— Oh, that's this one. Oh. And then this is your next competitor. From Lunenburg, Nova Scotia.

Come on. What? So I'm going to put this here. I'm going to put the winner's circle under the laptop so that we know. Okay. So this is, uh, was also shortlisted from Sandy and Barry.

Super cute.

Super cute. I do like it. But again, it's like, it's brand new.

It's missing something, a little bit of this all right. And it's one of those laser-turned-up woods, like it's of a theme from the old one. Yeah.

So congratulations on making it to the shortlist.

But that's a hard act to follow. This— okay, this one, this one, this— I love this. This is the perfect show. What about this one?

Oh shit, the little book. The handwritten book. Shit, the little book.

I know who we're we're gonna give that to. Churro! Oh, she's like manhandling something.

Oh, the little book. Oh God. And if I recall, it actually was like readable, like it actually had words. Oh, this is gonna be hard. Yeah, it actually has words in here.

It's like a book, a real book. It is a book. That's So here's, here's what I'm gonna say. That is absolutely the closest, best. How many do we have though, right? This is the, the shortlist, so we've got a couple.

Yeah, we have, we have 6 pairs.

Can we put this on for one of the free?

Yes. Okay. Yeah. Okay, because that one's got to win something. Make it— so this is a second, second place, whatever we call it. So did it come out of here? Yes. Yeah.

So where are we putting these so we don't fuck this I would say put this thing here.

That's from the pile that I was—

like that.

How about on the laptop so there's not— yeah. And then, okay, so the, the book has made it to an honorable mention and will win a premium lifetime premium membership to my newsletter, which has a cash value of about $1.50.

No.

Oh, I liked this one too. This is gonna be really hard, bro. So this is from a Sandra, by the way. Another Sandra. Two Sanders in a row. And it was a hand-stitched Vancouver, BC. I just loved this. You know what I just realized? Those are the, uh, Progress Pride colors.

That's really cute.

I think, I think this also has to be a— yeah, this also has to be a runner-up. Okay, we have to keep at least one for the common, but it is not— it has not yet bumped the current, the current leader.

No, it has not yet bumped the current leader off, and I actually think it doesn't bump this one either, so that's— yeah, higher in mind.

Oh, Momo, is that you? Momo made the book? Wait, which one did Momo do? Yeah, the tiny needle point is adorable.

Oh, Momo, I love it! I didn't realize. It's so pretty. Okay. Vancouver is inclusive. Okay. Okay, this is— I don't remember that one at all.

I don't remember this one either. Oh no. Commanda's—

is it supposed to be some kind of bottle opener? I think it was.

Did it say there's a letter? No.

Okay, so, okay, that is a piece of Duncan's hockey stick.

Oh yeah, this was a piece of Duncan's hockey stick when it had the, the world's largest— I do, I do like this story. I do like this, but it's what— it's mass-produced.. Right? And so I'm feeling like the things that we have currently in the winner's circles are things that are not— oh, our light went out on us— are things that are either quite old historically, or they have some kind of a thing. Cachet. A cachet to them. And Dunkin' is right down the road from us.

That is a pretty cool one.

It is pretty cool, but it's not going to make it beyond here. But it did make it to the shortlist, so congratulations.

I find that, um, power bar you're in has a faulty outlet in it.

Oh, really? Yeah. Um, I just want to make sure that we— that's, that's, that is it. Okay, okay. So this thing that you see is "The stamp book was homemade. Hope it's in the running." The stamp book has won one of the subprizes.

Is this the stamp book?

Yeah. I think it's this. Is this what we're talking about? The stamp size book?

Sandra! Oh, Susan. Sandra. Sandra Davis.

So that is— It says Susan, but—

No, I don't think they're saying it's theirs. Oh, different people. OK. OK. Very cool. Which is me. Meaning, reality, truth.

The next shortlist is from Brantford, Ontario.

It's very cool. I don't even remember it from last time, and I like it. But I don't know if it meets the—

I do like it a lot. It's really cute. But it is not going to make it beyond here. You did make it to the shortlist, whoever this was. A, letter A was on the envelope.

Okay, this one, uh, stamp book.

This came with a card and it's probably still in here. Probably still in here though.

This one is— I put this on the, um, because I love buttons and these are all custom buttons from the Arnprior Ontario Library, I think. And Arnprior and District Hospital Ontario. And vintage postcards, like from the '40s. So I very much love them, but I don't think they quite measure up to those two. They, they are not— if I, if I had to pick, it would be these two and, um, and that whatever, the number one one. Yeah.

And the Duncan but thing. But excellent making it to the shortlist. Oh, how are you gonna— hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. I gotta do—

I'm glad I don't get to— I'm glad you get to decide.

Okay, so yeah, hold on. I, I want to make sure— can you, can you write that down like a little? Because I want to put like these two down here as well.

Let me like just put—

just write Write little book on this and write needle stitch. Yeah, right, like needle, little, little book on that one. This is the little— that's little book. Sandra Davis.

Yeah, okay. The problem is these are two different Sandras.

That this is neat, this is a little book.

It's not a stamp book though.

It's not. I don't think that's what they're talking about.

But she is. Pictou, Nova Scotia. Um, okay, so this is—

oh yeah, this is, this is Momo's mini Uh, book, Smith Balls, and then put Momo cross stitch or needle stitch, whatever that's called.

Needle stitch.

Just because I don't want to lose track of— okay, all right, so What you see here are the top, current top contender, and the two that have won, like, a second prize, essentially. Good. Yeah. Excellent, excellent, excellent.

I remember you really liked this one, and it is a very cool little map, I think. I did like this.

It's just, it's probably not going to go beyond this round. But it's just like a civic map. I don't know what I like about it. Altona, Altona, Manitoba. I think it's so small. I think all this— all the buildings are so tiny. So congratulations on being shortlisted. You made it up to the— up to a high round, but sadly you are not progressing further in that. Did that come from here? That came from here, right? Okay.

Oh no, it's this one. Oh, and can I see This one, city map.

I see what you did. Okay, so this is the current, the current one that is in contention for the grand prize, which is the bottle cap, which is actual legal currency in a community. How are we losing prizes?

We're not.

This one's empty as well. We're not.

This one goes with that. Okay. What does it say? This one is another one that has no prize.

No, no, this is the bottle cap. Oh, okay. Yeah, we're not losing them. Yeah, yeah. Can you write bottle cap on that? Because this might be the winner.

That would be cool. And this one, I, I just—

luckily they gave— oh, you know what we should do? Where are they from? Where are they from? We should call the winner live. It's very late. Oh, there we go, right?

This is it! This is the stamp book.

This is—

did you already open that one? No, no, no, no. Someone was saying—

okay, I'm gonna move these. We are not forgetting about these two. They have already put it on the envelope.

I think that's gotta be something.

So this is from Marma Kate, but they're just stamps. Oh, it is the book. I see what you're saying. It is the stamp book. So we— and it has— and it has words in it. It's cute. Does it have the name of the community on it though? It said it's Pictou, Nova Scotia. Yeah, it does. Yeah, it is. Yes. Yeah, I think that's worthy of, of, uh, of a second place. A shared second place. Congratulations, Mar, you have made it to second place.

We've got 4 more, so just be aware we might not even make it to the—

the—

well, we have humor art ones, but I mean, I could— this has to win one. There's no way around it. I put it together. Yeah, it was made— it was 3D printed so that it would fit letter mail. And it has Tod's name on it.

Port Credit, Ontario. Yeah, it is, it is shortlisted. It's still not, in my mind, it still does not quite reach the same as the current leader. Yeah. It's really cool.

Yeah, it's not going to impeach.

Yeah, it's not going to impeach the current leader.

This is the other thing we learned about this.

OK, what else? I kind of know. Now I want to phone these people.

This is the lighthouse.

Okay, yeah, but they're, they're in— they're on the East Coast, so it's like 11, and who's gonna answer a phone call from a random number? You're weird. That's the lighthouse guy. This is lighthouse guy. Okay, so you put lighthouse on it. Good, good, good, good, good. All right.

Vinyl stickers. Oh, that's—

I don't know, I don't remember these being—

I don't remember that. Maybe they got in the wrong spot.

Yeah, they're very cool, but they're very cool.

Yeah, we have to be mercenary now. I don't see anything. Oh no, no, somebody's going to the wrong— yeah, I feel like they may have been in the wrong spot. That could have been my fault. You put it in the done pile. Is this it?

Um, one more. We are almost at the end. Oh, here we go. Here is the— oh, I remember this one.

Oh, that was really cool.

This is a— I love the little bits of fabric. This pin is from the early 1950s.

I think this one was meant to be a joke one, but maybe not.

I like it a lot. I— it still does not get past the bottle cap for me, so it will go in— it will be awarded a secondary prize. Okay, can you put, uh, this is school pin. It's when we call it school pin.

This one. So this is what What we learned from this one is that we need to have a criteria for who wins.

So this— we set this aside because we loved it. It's sand, but it does not have the name of the community on it.

Because we thought it was the most clever interpretation of a tiny treasure. Yeah. Um, but, but there's no name on it. That was a requirement. So that's why you say it's a community.

Yeah.

Is that it? Pin. And this one, did you open that one?

I think so.

Yep. These are the— we, we made a different thing for things that were funny or artistic. And okay, are we—

I don't think we— but these are never not set aside for the winner pile.

I kind of hoped, but I think we have too many good winners.

So let's, let's All right, I'm prepared to make a decision.

Okay, uh, put us out of our misery, ladies and gentlemen.

Let me just find the right thing here. This is because you want to call them. Yes, it is. Where did— where did this one go? Where did the bottle cap— is this bottle cap?

That's St. John's, Newfoundland. Yeah, I think that's bottle cap.

This is coin. No, this is old coin. This is the one from that.

Oh yeah, that's your We were to follow up. I wrote bottle cap on it. Remember? You did. You did.

Ladies and gentlemen. I can follow instructions. We have a winner. Finally. First, the runner-ups. The runner-ups are going to receive 2 lifetime premium subscriptions to my newsletter, which gets you ad-free for the rest of your life, behind-the-scenes videos about our personal lives, believe it or not.

Um. So interesting.

An extra newsletter every Wednesday. Like, one comes out tomorrow. So the person who did the book, the book which is in here, like, it's a book inside the stamps. This from Sandra. This is a tiny, tiny little book with the history of Smith Falls. Momo made it to the second prize with this amazing tiny little needlepoint, this is called? And this one did not. This one was not.

The book is from me. My son is a leather worker and he made the COVID Sandra! I remember you told us now when we first opened it. Thank you, Sandra.

However, the grand prize winner is this bottle cap, which is— and I'm going to read the letter again and then we're going to call them. Oh, the chaos. And it's going to be— and I hope in Earltown, Nova Scotia, they take my call. This bottle cap is actually a gift certificate from our community general store. Each cap is valued at $1. The store has a cork stamped inside with the name of the store in our community town. And we are going to see if— and look, look, don't say it out loud, but look at who— yeah, yeah. Uh, all right, that's cool. Let's give this a whirl.

Oh, they're gonna be so late. I know. They—

well, they don't have to answer the phone. I have two different numbers for them, so So we're gonna—

no, the one's crossed out.

Yeah, but look, there's still two numbers. Oh yeah, weird.

From Earltown, Nova Scotia. All right, speaker.

I'm waiting until I get the permission.

Todd is such a performer.

Hi, is this Patty? Patty, it's Tod Maffin. You've sent in a contest entry from Canada's Biggest Smallest Contest. May I put you on speakerphone? I'm live right now on our awards show. It's on YouTube. Is it OK if I put you on speakerphone so people can hear you? Oh. I know. I know. We are not nearly as interesting. We will not take up much time. I'm calling to let you know that you folks won with your entry of the bottle cap. Awesome! Congratulations. We did 7 hours of opening letters and things. We loved the story. We loved the bottle cap. And congratulations. Wicked! Wicked! Oh, my god. Thank you. No, thank you. It was a lovely story. It's a great little thing. I'm glad that we were able to reach you. I'm sorry about interrupting you in the ballgame. Under normal circumstances, you would receive the grand prize, which is a giant gift basket of gourmet BC food. You will still receive it, but it will probably happen after Canada Post strike is over. Not a problem. Excellent. That's awesome. Yeah. So congratulations. Thank you for picking up the phone from a weird phone number out of the blue. Yeah. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. I'm blown away. Good. I'm really glad. I will email you. I have two emails here, one that starts with P and one that starts with A. I'm guessing the one with the P. So I will email you probably tomorrow or the next day. And then, yeah, congratulations. Thank you for entering the contest, and you were the grand prize winner. Excellent. That puts Earltown, Nova Scotia on the map. Yes! It certainly does. Thank you so much. Not at all. Thanks. Bye-bye. Bye. Bye. Well, there you go, Canada. That was exhausting. That was so cool and fun and great that they were able to answer the phone. I would not have answered the phone for—

I would not.

We're never gonna win anything, especially if I'm watching the, the, the base— baseball.

Baseball. Yeah, who, who's playing, guys? The Blue Jays. Who did— is it Blue Jays? Yeah, we clearly are not very, um, where is— are we still actually on?

Because no one has chatted in like 2 minutes. Or maybe they're just like watching. Maybe they're just watching it closely. Oh no, there we go.

There we go. Okay. Okay. There they go. Congratulations, Patty! Yay, Earl Town! I love it. I love everyone's cheering.

That's so great. That was so cool that they were able to answer the phone.

PJ's like, I'm so glad that someone on the East Coast won a package of BC goodies. Totally. I mean, we are used to the goodies. Yes. Yeah. And we'll have to hunt this guy down too, and these people. That is so cute. Yes.

And we will be in touch, Momo and Sandra and the other people who won the runner-up prize. We will be in touch. So cute. I will send you, I think the way it works is, well, Steph from my office will figure it out for you in the next couple of days. And you will get it for life.

Haha! That was— So that was a lot. That was a lot. It was fun.

That was a lot. We're not going to do it quite like that next year, but we'll do something.

I like the 3 sentences, but that would be hard to judge.

I would want a small— I like getting mail. I just don't like getting that much mail.

This is the tartan that was with the book, I think. Did somebody say that there was tartan with the book?

No, no, that's a different— that was not the thing that we're looking at. No. I can't get it in here. Susan, you can message us by— if you go to myname.com, so like go to She's just coughing. Oh, okay. Dude, chill out. I thought that she was choking on something. That's why I'm like trying to—

But like, "Heying" at her is not going to help. Chill out. You alright, bitch?

Anyway, sorry, I forgot what I was saying before I got in trouble for the dog thing.

From yelling at the dog in distress.

Oh, how can I message you? Go to TodMaffin.com and there's a button there that you can click to send me an email. So it's just my name, TodMaffin.com, and look for that.

Sue, we had someone from Colorado. And I think we had 2 others. Oh, yeah.

You want to do the tally of provinces? Oh, yeah.

OK, hang on. Give me a second.

While we add up the provinces, I want to thank everyone who entered. This was bigger than our wildest dreams. We have Christmas trees for years now. Of decorations. And don't forget tomorrow this video, this super secret video that we have been working on for months, comes out tomorrow at 6:00 Pacific time. That's 9:00 Eastern, 10:00 Atlantic, 10:30 on the rock. And it's on my YouTube channel. And it's a short video, but it's a pretty big video. And I think you'll like it. And it will come with a behind-the-scenes documentary that is an hour and 10 minutes long, if that gives you any idea how big the initial video is. But I was so glad we were able to call them and tell them that.

That's very cool.

I think that's so cool. The new deadline date increased your entries. Yeah, initially we—

Several times it was like, I think it was 2 or 3 times.

We pushed it a couple of times. Yeah. Who's we? This got us engaged from coast to coast across the world watching. I hope so. OK. We got some cool stories.

OK. Okay, um, here it is. I'm gonna try and go in descending order. Ontario was bar none the winner in terms of number of applicants, uh, with 79. Um, BC was the next with 39. Kind of amazing. It does make sense. But, um, and then Alberta, which is really funny to me because Alberta had none for the whole first, um, the first session of open— like, episode. We had nothing from Alberta, and now it's at 14. Um, Nova Scotia at 12, which I think is probably punching above its weight. I do too. Um, and then Manitoba at 11. Um, did I say 14? Yeah, it said 14 for Alberta. Um, Quebec was 5. Come on, Quebec! We're not exactly speaking their language. We're not sprechen she Deutsching. Um, New Brunswick— I'm a little out of order here— uh, 6. Newfoundland, 4. PEI, 2. Um, Yukon, nothing. Nope, 1. 1. And Northwest Territories, 1. And Colorado, 1. And I don't know if our, uh, is it Sue? No, what— someone watching who just asked if they were the only American. I don't— if she's from Colorado, then that's probably her. I didn't get all of the US ones. Um, anyway, that was super fun.

That was so much fun. That was so much fun.

So when we all pull them all apart and like, we'll, we'll take some Photos so people can go through.

And in the next day or two, um, I will be putting out on my Blue Sky account, um, really good photos of all the winning things. So Momo, Sandra, your things will have a beautiful— their own photograph, a little story with them. Um, you'll get your own thing you can retweet on Blue Sky and things. Um, I'll do like a carousel on Instagram or something like that as well.

Yeah, are you from Colorado? Oh, Iowa. Okay, so we got, we got at least 2. I think we actually got 3 from America.

I learned a lot too. My guitar pick was, was in the first session from Alberta. Yes, there were a few good guitar picks, but yeah, so yes, I do remember that one. I remember that one. Yeah, for sure.

I think we're very cool. I think in terms of a souvenir, guitar pick is, is pretty high up there. I love functional souvenirs.

Yeah. Well, thank you everyone. Thank you for participating. Um, that'll be it, and we will see you tomorrow. Uh, and, uh, I don't know if you'll be in the live. I'll be in the live. I'll be in the comments when the video premieres, but I'll be tidying.

Um, Tod will be in his premiere jacket.

I will— no, I'm not gonna be on video. I'm just gonna be in the chat room.

Oh really? Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I might just watch it with people.

How do I do Bluesky? Just you go to bsky.app, I think, and you sign up for a free account. It's kind of like Twitter but better. It's like Twitter but without fascism.

And less gross.

Yeah, yeah, it is Twitter without fascism, essentially.

Um, all right, thank you everyone. I— we so appreciate your attention. Yeah, thank you.

Goodbye. Thank you for coming out.