In this informal, sarcastic monologue the host delivers a daily trade‑war briefing for March 6, 2025. The United States has announced a three‑week tariff pause for Mexico, but Canada remains fully exposed to U.S. duties, with Prime Minister Justin Trudeau warning the tariffs will persist indefinitely. U.S. markets are tumbling amid fear, and the Commerce Secretary hints at a possible pause for Canada, though no exemption is guaranteed. Ontario’s premier announces a 25 % surcharge on electricity for U.S. consumers that will stay in place even if tariffs are temporarily lifted. The host recounts a heated phone call between Donald Trump, Justin Trudeau, and J.D. Vance, focusing on Trump’s anger over Canadian dairy protection and a confusing shift in the metric used to assess fentanyl seizures. Trudeau later describes the call as “colourful.” The segment closes with Trudeau’s $10‑a‑day childcare deal and a tongue‑in‑cheek claim that Trump will dismantle the U.S. education department. Throughout, the tone is conversational, sarcastic, and critical of both governments’ handling of the trade dispute.
Chapters
Breaking news! The tariffs are off! It is Thursday, March 6th. Here is your trade war update. That is the good news. Now for the bad news: it's just a pause for 3 weeks, and it's for Mexico, not for Canada. Prime Minister Trudeau said this morning he expects the American tariffs will be in place for, quote, "the foreseeable future." Meanwhile, the US stock markets are way down again. CNN is saying the markets are acting in extreme fear today, which might be why the Commerce Secretary was like, "Eh, maybe we'll pause the tariffs for you guys too, okay?" So far Canada isn't budging. All of the tariffs off or nothing. There is talk that the US will start exempting Canadian gas and oil from the tariffs because I guess someone explained to Trump that gas powers all of their cars. And then another official said, but even if those come off, Trump's reciprocal tariffs, that's the counter tariffs to Canada's counter tariffs if you're playing along at home, will still happen and there won't be any exemptions. So who honestly knows? Today Ontario's Premier said they will start adding a 25% surcharge on all electricity to the US. At the start, that's potentially hundreds of dollars a month extra that 1.5 million Americans will have to start paying. The premier also said this morning that at this point, even if Trump pauses tariffs on energy, the electricity surcharge stays. It only comes off when the threat of tariffs is gone as well. So if Trump does his usual, "We might put it on hold, but we might spark it up again," Canada doesn't budge. The premier of the great province of Kentucky said, "Sure, the tariffs are hurting, but it was the removal of booze from Ontario liquor store shelves that were worse for the state than the tariffs. Ontario is the single largest purchaser of alcohol in the world. Word is starting to leak about the phone call that Trudeau had with Trump. Apparently J.D. Vance was on the call too, because I guess it was a stat holiday for his daycare or something, but several sources have confirmed to CBC that Trump, and I know this will shock you, lost his shit on the call, swearing and yelling. Apparently he went on for 4 minutes about the Canadian protection of its dairy industry. Trudeau basically confirmed the temper tantrum when he described the call this morning as "colourful." That's Canadian talk for "Holy shit, bud, calm down, eh?" Also in that call, Trudeau reminded them that fentanyl seizures are way down. Suddenly Trump and Vance said the number of seizures is not the metric they're using. Which is weird because number of seizures is the metric they've been using. So what number are they using now? They wouldn't say. Trump also posted on his echo chamber that Trudeau is using the tariffs to run again for prime minister, which— wait, is Trump using the fentanyl? No, that sounds more like meth. Anyway, life goes on in Canada. Today, Prime Minister Trudeau announced a deal with the provinces to provide $10-a-day childcare. And Trump is gonna sign away the entire education department. So that's nice. Elbows up.
