Hawkins Cheezies vs Three Competitors

It's the battle of the cheesies! The official Canadian one versus 3 competitors. Barbara's Cheese Curls, which is like one of those American ones that is like imported to Canada by Canadians. Old Dutch Crunchy Extreme Cheddar and Old Dutch, uh, Nacho Cheese. Blindfold please. I had no problem putting this on last night. Shut up! Here's number 1.

Nada Hawkins. It's too— it's too light. What's the flavor like? Not, not a very strong cheese. Number 2, very cheesy, like a lot cheesier than the last one. I'm not sure it's crunchy enough to be Hawkins, but it might be.

All right, here's number 3.

Mother motherfucker, Hawkins Cheesy!

Are you sure?

Yeah, it's the saltiest, which is a what I associate with Hawkins Cheezies.

Number 4.

Did you say one of them was nacho flavored?

I did.

This is the nacho flavor.

Okay, I've served you 4. Which one do you prefer out of all those 4? Which is the best?

I would say the second one or the fourth one.

Take your blindfold off. You're gonna hate this. Really? You picked the American one. The number 1. The one that you thought was nacho cheese was not nacho cheese. It was actually the extreme cheddar.

Really?

Um, the Nacho Cheese was the first one, and you did correctly identify the Cheezies. I have tasted the Nacho Cheese and the Extreme Cheddar, and I cannot distinguish a difference in the flavor at all between those. These were like crunchy, like, like if you're serving them to 6-year-olds and you're afraid that they'll hurt their teeth, like you'll give them like, here's a crunchy thing for you too. It's not crunchy at all. Cheezies will cut diamonds. All right, thank you for playing.

You're welcome. Can I eat the toffee ones now?

Oh, we didn't even tell them about the toffee ones.

It is the battle of the cheesies. That's where you're supposed to hold it out. Oh, it's like the battle of the cheesies. Okay, ready? Yeah. Okay.