In this comedic YouTube segment, host Tod Maffin vents his frustration with a series of Canadian‑owned snack companies that keep sending him products despite his repeated requests to stop. He humorously characterises the brands as “rude” and lists each one, offering brief, tongue‑in‑cheek descriptions: CARBS (a Montreal cracker maker), Nuts for Cheese (cashew‑based dairy‑free cheese), Chapman's Ice Cream (global‑praise cold‑brew and butter‑tart flavors), Goldhawk Farm Granola (cookie‑like granola), Hornby Organic (gluten‑free energy bars), Isabelle’s Secrets (Christmas‑flavored biscotti), Bloom (probiotic drink powders from Vancouver), and 2bees Honey (flavoured honey with a Hot Toddy package). He repeatedly invites viewers to register their displeasure—or simply purchase—through his affiliate shop at snacks.todmaffin.com, noting international shipping options. The dialogue includes a brief, confused exchange with a second speaker, adding to the informal, bantering tone. Overall, the piece blends product mention, satire, and self‑promotion while maintaining a light‑hearted, slightly exasperated voice.
Chapters
I thought you were on my side. I've been trying to protect you from very rude Canadian-owned snack food brands. 4 times now I've asked them to not send me their delicious products and they've ignored it. No respect for my willpower— er, my time. And now I find out that you people have been buying from them. I did a video warning you about CARBS, the cracker company from Montreal, and sales went up after the video. Is this some kind of joke to you? Some of these companies have been very disrespectful, like Nuts for Cheese, which is a dairy-free cheese made from something called a cashew. You might know No cashews is the Timu peanuts WestJet serves the fancy people in row 4. But when you blend them up and age them properly, they make something that genuinely tastes like cheese. And then there's the legends. Chapman's Ice Cream. They make the best ice cream in the world according to, oh, the entire global ice cream industry. Their cold brew ice cream is life-changing. They make a butter tart flavour, which I had every intention of showing you and which is no longer in the freezer and I do not know why. Goldhawk Farm Granola, as far as I can tell, is just cookies that made better life choices. This has been my go-to breakfast since they sent it. Very rude. Hornby Organic makes gluten-free energy bars with flavors you actually want to eat, like chocolate espresso and peanut butter and jelly. They also have snack sizes because I am not summiting anything. I just need to not pass out after I take the dog for a walk. Isabelle's Secrets makes biscotti that literally taste like Christmas. That's the whole review. Edible Christmas. Bloom sells probiotic drink powders for people who have very strong feelings about their gut biome. You can also buy a subscription to their superfood probiotics, fiber, and electrolyte drink. And I know this will come as a shock to you, but they're from Vancouver. And 2bees Honey, I got your message, ladies. 100% honey, flavors like coconut, maple, peppermint. And then they send me these. Hot Toddy packages. 100% women-owned company. I know what you're trying to tell me.
What are they trying to tell you, Tod?
Probably nothing. Anyway, these brands were very disrespectful to me, and if you'd like to register your displeasure, I list where they're sold at snacks.todmaffin.com. Yes, some of them ship to Americans, and some of them even to the Australians, who are like our hot cousins that we only ever see at weddings.
What?
You wait 2 seconds. You wait 2 seconds. Okay. Wait after I finish grinning, then you wait 2 seconds and then do it. Okay.
