My Heart Will Pork On

In this comedic sketch, Speaker A launches a satirical rant about how Americans routinely misname foreign foods, focusing on the misuse of the term “Canadian bacon” for back bacon. He likens this to other misnomers like “French fries” (Belgian), “English muffins” (not English), and “American cheese” (a processed product). He introduces the coined term “baconwashing” to describe the cultural stripping and rebranding of a food item, arguing that the American version of back bacon is a ham slice masquerading as bacon, and that such misnaming erases cultural context. He also references other Canadian staples (Tim Hortons, poutine) to illustrate the broader pattern of cultural appropriation. Speaker B interjects with a brief, humorous aside about bacon’s high price, underscoring the comedic tone. The piece blends food history, cultural critique, and humor to highlight the absurdity of naming conventions and the loss of culinary authenticity.










