A comedian delivers a satirical rant defending traditional poutine against modern variations like smoked beef and kombucha kelp, dismissing them all as wrong. He addresses a 2014 tweet praising nacho poutine as youthful experimentation during a gravy shortage, then escalates the food debate into a broader argument about societal truth and values.
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Alright, I know a lot of you follow me for the funny videos, but a lot of people have been asking me to, you know, since the news broke, to comment on this whole thing. And look, I was not going to say anything, but at a certain point, silence becomes complicity. So I will take a side because there is clearly a right side and a wrong side here, and the right side is fries, cheese curds, and gravy. That's it. That's it. No Montreal smoked beef, no kombucha-soaked kelp blossoms, no poutine-inspired quinoa bowls, and certainly not that monstrosity that I was served in Portland that came in a mason jar. You want to remix something? Go remix a Drake song, not the foundation of our country. And look, before someone digs up that 2014 tweet of mine where I said nacho poutine is low-key fire. I'd like to clarify, I was young, I was experimenting. We, we, we all made mistakes during the gravy shortage. And I know people are going to say, oh, so you're ignoring the nuance. No, no, I've read the blogs, I've been in the TikTok lives, I've listened to both sides— Quebec and everyone else who's wrong. I'm not saying there's not room for dialogue, but dialogue doesn't mean letting some some fucking 22-year-old in Sudbury serve poutine with tzatziki. That's not peace. That's not peace. This is not just about food. This is about truth and values. This is about whether we as a society still believe in integrity. Structural integrity. The kind that squeaks. So, you know. Like, block me if you need to, but I stand with the Kurds.
