A creator emphatically refuses to make a certain type of video, listing absurd alternatives like knitting toques for trees, explaining photosynthesis to a brick wall, and editing a ten-hour documentary on beige. Even pleas from Marshall McLuhan and Andy Warhol won't change his mind.
Do you want to make videos like this? Nope, I do not want to make videos like that. Hard pass. Absolutely not. In no world or dimension or hypothetical situation would I ever want to make a video like that. I would rather knit a toque for every tree in Saskatchewan. I would rather explain photosynthesis to a brick wall. I would rather alphabetize gravel than make videos like that. I would rather narrate my own dental surgery or measure a hockey rink with a butter tart. I would rather edit a 10-hour documentary about the history of beige. Even if the ghosts of Marshall McLuhan and Andy Warhol begged me in unison, I would still say no. I would rather spend the rest of my life trying to find spicy food in Alberta. I'd rather officiate a wedding between two very confused ceiling fans or spend an eternity trapped in a Rogers phone menu. I'd rather translate a seagull's memoir into Braille underwater. I'd rather audition for Hamlet as a rotisserie chicken. I'd rather lead a silent meditation retreat for screaming goats. Yeah, no.
Ten times Canada helped the U.S. with its wildfires, instead of whining about the smoke. 
