Tod MaffinCanadian Commentator, From Far and Wide · Emotional Support Canadian

Part 2 of the corrections nobody asked for but everybody clearly needed

22 May 2026 · 2 min

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1:46

In this solo commentary, the speaker (Tod Maffin) lists a series of common American misconceptions about Canada and corrects them with humor and factual detail. He covers six main points: (1) the proper naming of bread in Canada – Canadians use "white" and "brown" bread, not "wheat bread"; (2) "Québécois" refers to the people of Quebec, not a language; (3) Canada’s mixed use of metric and imperial units follows a quirky decision tree (Celsius for outdoor temperature, Fahrenheit for oven temperature, cups/spoons for cooking, metric for everything else); (4) the three distinct Indigenous groups recognized in Canada – Métis, Inuit, and First Nations – and why using "First Nations" as a blanket term is inaccurate; (5) the term "Canadian bacon" is a misnomer; Canadians call the product "back bacon" and distinguish it from other cuts; (6) the myth that Canadians say "a‑boot" is false, with a single anecdotal exception. The speaker’s tone is comedic yet instructional, aiming to inform Americans while poking fun at the persistence of these myths.

Chapters

This is part 2 of things that you are getting wrong about Canada. Check my profile for part 1. Okay, number 7: Americans, you have got to stop saying "wheat bread." We have no idea what you're talking about. We have white bread and we have brown bread. We literally named them after the colors to make this easier for you. Sometimes we call the brown bread "whole wheat," mostly as a gesture of goodwill, but please stop calling it "wheat bread." Calling it that is like asking a bartender to add "frozen water blocks" to your drink. Number 8: Québécois is not a language. Some people use it as shorthand for meaning Quebec French, but When you say Québécois, you're talking about the people, not their language. And when you say tabarnak! Number 9: We don't use metric. Not the way you think we do, anyway. For us, it depends on a very complicated decision tree. Temperature: Is it outside? Celsius. Is it for the oven? Fahrenheit. Volume: For cooking? Cups and spoons. Everything else? Metric. And no, we don't understand why either. Thanks, Obama. Number 10: First Nations is not a synonym for Canadian Indigenous groups. Canada recognizes 3 Indigenous groups: Métis, which are mixed Indigenous and European ancestry, Inuit, which are the Indigenous people of Northern Canada, and First Nations, who are Indigenous people predating European settlement. Using First Nations to mean all three is like calling every hockey position goalie. Number 11: Canadian bacon is not a thing. It does not exist in Canada. What you Americans call Canadian bacon is what we call back bacon. It's similar to like smoked ham slices. Now, sometimes argumentative people who spend too much time on Facebook will call it pea meal bacon, but they are wrong. That is a specific kind of back bacon. And finally, we do not say a-boot. We don't. One guy in Newfoundland did it once. We all know who. Fucking Seamus. And now the Americans think we all say it. We don't. We pronounce our words perfectly normically. Thank you for your attention to this matter.