The narrator accidentally sits on Leonardo DiCaprio at an after-party. Security demands they get up, but Julia Roberts' attempt to help backfires when greased watermelons make both their hands slip, sending the narrator deeper into DiCaprio's lap. The chaos somehow leads to a restraining order.
Okay, part 6. Sorry about this being long. So, uh, once I sat on him by accident, remember, his security came over like fucking right away and was like, get off Mr. DiCaprio. And remember, this is like one second after I sat on him, right? So I'm like, yes, I'm willing to get up, like just let me get to my feet. Remember, this is the after party, right? Not the earlier thing I mentioned. So there's celebrities everywhere. Julia Roberts is standing there because of the whole greased watermelon lineup thing, and she's like, do you need a hand? I'm like, "Of course I need a fucking hand." So I said yes, as politely as, you know, I could say. And she reached out, she grabbed me by the hand, but because the watermelons had been greased up, our hands slipped, and now guess where I'm falling? Further into Leo DiCaprio's lap. And nobody is noticing this. Like, either it was too loud, or like, this shit happens to him all the time. Anyway, that's not where the restraining order came from. Fall Over Part 7.
Ten times Canada helped the U.S. with its wildfires, instead of whining about the smoke. 
