Tod MaffinCanadian Commentator, From Far and Wide · Emotional Support Canadian

Pierre Poilievre: Canada’s most prominent stray cat #cdnpoli

3 May 2025 · 2 min

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2:20

In a satirical monologue, the speaker uses the classic Schrödinger's cat thought experiment as a metaphor to describe Canadian Conservative leader Pierre Poilievre's ambiguous political state: he is simultaneously the leader of the opposition and not a sitting Member of Parliament after being unseated by Liberal MP Bruce Fanjoy. The speaker explains the quantum mechanics analogy, then outlines the procedural plan for an Alberta backbench MP to vacate his seat so Poilievre can run in a by‑election, suggesting the MP is likely being "voluntold" and will receive a senior party role. The commentary critiques Poilievre’s lack of local ties to Alberta, predicts his electoral success based on entrenched Conservative voting patterns rather than merit, and portrays him as a political stray pacing outside Parliament, stuck in a state of power and powerlessness.

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Hello, this is a box, and inside this box is a cat. It's a metaphor. And with the cat are 3 things: a single radioactive atom, a Geiger counter to measure radioactivity, and a vial of poison. Now, if the radioactive atom decays, the Geiger counter detects it, triggers the release of the poison, and the cat dies. If the atom does not decay, the cat remains alive. Following so far? According to quantum mechanics, until you open the box and look in, the atom is in both decayed and not decayed states. Therefore, the theory goes, the cat is simultaneously alive and dead. It's a paradox called Schrödinger's cat. Which brings me to Pierre Poilievre, who now exists in the same state, politically. Both alive and dead. He's the leader of the opposition, but He's also no longer a member of Parliament, having been declawed by a Liberal rookie named Bruce Fanjoy, whose name sounds less like a parliamentarian and more like an Instagram life coach. But for now, Pierre is locked in his own political box. Parliament will resume, questions will be asked, speeches will be given, but Pierre, he'll have to watch from the gallery like a tourist with strong opinions. But like any cat, he's convinced the box belongs to him, regardless of who's actually inside of it. So, to untangle this procedural hairball, today an Alberta backbench MP graciously volunteered to give up his seat so Pierre can run in it. Or, more likely, he got voluntold. He'll be rewarded later with a party job padded with adjectives like senior and strategic. Pierre will win. Not necessarily because he's the best candidate. In fact, he'll probably be the worst, since he doesn't live there and doesn't know any of the local issues. He'll win because, in Alberta, A Conservative vote is as dependable as a beef farmer hating the CBC. Until then, Pierre lives in quantum limbo. Opposition leader and not a member. Powerful and powerless. Canada's most prominent political stray, pacing outside Parliament, yowling to be let back in.