An American with a Texas warrant tries to enter Canada and gets turned away. The border guard explains that Canada now accesses U.S. law enforcement databases, so the warrant showed up instantly. The American blames Canada and swears a lot.
Hey, how'd the border go? Well, I just got denied entry from fucking Canada. Didn't know that could happen.
I mean, we are a different country and all. I know you guys have thrown the rule of law thing out the window the last year, but yeah.
Didn't know Canadians rejected people. Mm, just shitty people mostly. What?
What? But you seem like a gem. Maybe it was a mistake?
I got a warrant in Texas.
Ah, there it is.
How the fuck?
See, here's the thing. We got electricity last month up here finally. Which gave us computers, and your government shares all your data with our border guards. So yeah, we can see that. All of that. Like, when our guards ask if you've ever been convicted of a crime, they already know the answer. But maybe if you just like chilled out a little—
You know what? Fuck Canada!
Okay then.
Whoever that bitch was was right. Blame fucking Canada. Blame fucking Canada.
Alright, so a couple things. First, we don't call women bitches in our country. That's disrespectful. Second, have the common decency to get your performing arts references right. That was a song from the South Park movie. You can blame us for a lot. We gave the world insulin. We put thousands of your citizens up during 9/11. We send firefighters to extinguish California every year. Peanut butter, basketball, the telephone. We gave you all of that. And a belief that every person matters, that you deserve healthcare as a human right, no matter how much money is in your bank account, that you deserve to be treated with respect no matter who you worship, who you love, how many trans kids you have, or what country you came from. And that we try to keep our people here safe from rude, aggressive, borderline incoherent criminals from Texas. Be grateful Canada sent you back with a piece of paper and a bad night. Ask your fellow state residents who aren't white what happens to them.
Ten times Canada helped the U.S. with its wildfires, instead of whining about the smoke. 
