TikTok's algorithm traps you in a feed of DIY skin tag and mole removal videos. Speaker B contrasts this graphic self-surgery content with earlier internet absurdities like dogs on skateboards, riffing on Canadian dermatology wait times and the absurdity of using kitchen scissors on your own skin.
Got annoying moles?
No, no, no, no, no. Why, why, why is TikTok suddenly decided that the highlight of my social media scrolling should be people lopping off their own moles with kitchen scissors? You open an app for a quick laugh, like a dog riding a skateboard. Instead, TikTok is like, hey Todd, you want to see something truly revolting? And before you can yell no, there's a close-up of some unidentified fleshy lump and some idiot holding nail clippers. When exactly did home surgery become mainstream entertainment? Remember when the weirdest thing online was some American kid eating Tide Pods? Those were the days. But now TikTok has dialed up the grossness to 11, and forget about politely scrolling past it. No, no, no. Because you hesitated, now TikTok thinks you're really into watching people gouge chunks out of themselves with craft supplies. Look, I'll admit, Canada has healthcare problems, but even I know that if you have something growing on your neck the size of a golf ball, the proper Canadian response is not "hand me the Craft-Nite butt, I'll fix it myself." It's to politely wait 7 to 12 months, see a trained professional, and maybe apologize for being an inconvenience. These ads are relentless. One after another. Moles, skin tags, warts being chopped off. Sacred anymore? Can't I just watch something online? Fun? I'm not asking for much, just give me back videos of bin chickens stealing donuts from Macca's. But as long as TikTok insists on assaulting my eyes with rogue mole reviewers, I'll respond by closing the app and switching to CBC Gem. Sure, it's less exciting, but at least Peter Mansbridge never had to clip anything off his neck on live television. That I'm aware of. Siri, has Peter Mansbridge ever had—
Night and day through a computer network called internet.
