Tod MaffinCanadian Commentator, From Far and Wide · Emotional Support Canadian

Raccoon Gets Drunk, Canada Wins #funny #wildlife

6 Dec 2025 · 3 min

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2:36

In a upbeat, humor‑filled segment, host Tod Maffin highlights a series of quirky, mostly Canada‑centric stories from the past week to counteract the usual doom‑laden news feed. He opens with Canada’s soft‑power win as the world’s first rubber‑duck museum relocates its collection and staff from the United States to Canada. He then recounts an Ontario free‑speech incident where a man’s window signs questioning Santa and consumerism were not prosecuted, underscoring Canada’s Charter protections. A new study is cited linking daily music listening to a 39 % lower risk of dementia in older adults. The host shares a bizarre incident of a raccoon breaking into a Virginia liquor store, getting drunk, and passing out beside a toilet. He jokes about rumors that former Prime Minister Justin Trudeau and pop star Katy Perry are a couple, noting their lunch with a former Japanese prime minister. A traveler’s confusion over Air Canada’s day‑month‑year beef labeling is used to illustrate cultural date‑format differences. Calgary’s third bird‑friendly certification is celebrated, highlighting measures to reduce window strikes, roaming cats, and light pollution. Finally, a 69‑year‑old Ontario man’s 30,000‑km, 11‑month cycling tribute to his late wife, raising over $50,000 for cancer research and aiming for a Guinness record, is highlighted. The segment ends with a plug for the host’s free newsletter, farandwide.news.

Chapters

Can we agree on this? There is too much doom in your feed. If so, here is some of the good that happened in the last week. First, a win for Canada's soft power diplomacy. The world's first rubber ducky museum has officially abandoned the US and moved its entire operations, roughly 10 shelves, to Canada. The company will also move its entire workforce to Canada. Both of them. Police in Ontario say they will not charge the guy who put signs in his windows reading "Santa isn't real" and "Your family buys your presents." Two reasons for this. First, First is there's no law against being a douche canoe, sadly. And second, we have a Charter of Rights and Freedoms, and constitutionally protected free speech still matters here. Officers did stop by for a chat, asked him politely to take them down, which he did, and apologized. A new study says older adults who listen to music every day have a 39% lower chance of developing dementia. So if you see your dad suddenly blasting Dua Lipa in the garage, let him cook. A raccoon broke into a Virginia liquor store, trashed the place, got hammered, and then passed left out beside the toilet this week. This has got to be a metaphor for something down there. You guys can figure out what in the comments. Former Canadian PM Justin Trudeau and Katy Perry, are they a couple? They are officially a couple. They even had lunch with a former Japanese prime minister while she was on tour in Tokyo. This American woman was flying Air Canada, thought that the beef she was served had expired on June 11th, and rather than just asking, she decided to get some of those sweet, sweet social media outrage points until Pretty much everyone had to break it to her that, girl, only the US uses month-day-year. Canada, where she was, and by the way, almost every other country in the world except for some in Asia, use day-month-year, meaning her beef was actually just fine. It was dated November 6th. Calgary earned its third bird-friendly certification after cutting risks like window strikes, roaming cats, and light pollution. North America has lost more than 3 billion birds since the 1970s. So congratulations, Canada, for being friendlier to birds than Canada geese are to literally anything. And a 69-year-old Ontario man has spent 11 months cycling 30,000 kilometres through 25 countries to honour his late wife. He's already raised over $50,000 for Princess Margaret Cancer Centre and is on track for a Guinness record. My newsletter covers these stories and more this weekend. You can join for free at farandwide.news. Have a great weekend.