A satirical monologue mocking the Texas school ban on rainbow flags. The speaker uses exaggerated logic to ridicule fears that rainbows lead to nose rings and lost empathy, exposing the absurdity of banning symbols to suppress social movements.
Excellent news out of America! The rainbow has finally been stopped. For years, this colorful menace has been roaming free, hanging around schools, lurking on flags, sneaking onto mugs and municipal crosswalks. No papers, no background checks, just 6 dangerous colors. Now, at last, the adults have finally stepped in. This week, for instance, the great state of Texas banned rainbow flags in schools. And thank God! Just look at these flags. One minute you're a normal freedom-loving 'Murican, next you're thinking to yourself, I really should get a nose ring. It happens that fast, sheeple. Everything changes. Your haircut, your taste in music, your emotional capacity for empathy. It's a slippery slope. We must protect the children! Kids see a rainbow and immediately think, "Oh, some people are different." We can't have that, that's chaos! Much safer to ban the symbol entirely, because if there's one thing that history teaches us, it's that banning symbols makes ideas disappear. That's why no one's ever heard of punk rock, or Civil rights, or women wearing pants. And rainbows are suspiciously foreign. They show up after storms, no border check-in, they're just drifting across the sky like they own the place. Who authorized that? Have you noticed how inclusive they are? All the colors side by side, no hierarchy, no one color telling the others where to stand. That's not how a proper society works. One color needs to be on top. Obviously white. I mean, it's already made up of all the baader colors, or Something? God bless America! Land of the free! Home of the carefully approved wavelengths! Sleep easy tonight, patriots. Somewhere out there, a rainbow is scared, unemployed, and thinking about its choices. Freedom wins again!
Ten times Canada helped the U.S. with its wildfires, instead of whining about the smoke. 
