A satirical monologue about an attempted attack on Donald Trump, mocking how bystanders casually discussed salad and anchovies while gunfire erupted. The speaker critiques American gun culture, media chaos, and how violence has become just another spectacle.
I'm about to show you the single most American video ever produced. It happens after another attempt on Trump's life, or as they call it down there, Saturday. First, can we pay respect to this absolute legend? One table away from everything and he's just like, yo, this Caesar salad is actually really good. Are Americans so used to gunfire that the only thing on this guy's mind is, you know, it really needed more anchovies. Then some guy who obviously owns 6 pickup trucks starts shouting, USA! USA! Then someone else jumps in. I assume they do that high five or that chest bump thing. Then someone else shushes them. Like as if to say, "You're a reporter, for God's sake. Control yourself, Mr. Blitzer." Is this a South Park episode? At this point, the US isn't just off the rails. The rails are gone. Someone sold the rails. There's a podcast about the rails. Are you guys okay?
Ten times Canada helped the U.S. with its wildfires, instead of whining about the smoke. 
