Tod Maffin explains that public nudity in Canada isn't broadly legal despite the myth. Section 174 of the Criminal Code requires the Justice Minister's approval to prosecute, making convictions rare. Canada has three designated nude beaches: Wreck Beach in Vancouver, Hanlan's Point in Toronto, and one at Woodgrove Centre in Nanaimo.
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This guy is Canadian, and 2 weeks ago he went to Disneyland, stripped buck naked, and was promptly arrested. Because nothing screams dream vacation like getting cuffed by Goofy while your magic wand is out in Tomorrowland. Trivia time: would it be legal in Canada for this guy to do this? There's a myth that public nudity is legal in Canada. That you can just drop trou in a Tim Hortons parking lot, swing your maple log around and call it performance art. It's not keegle. It's not legal. Section 174 of the Criminal Code says so. But that law collects more dust than convictions. One reason why is that to be charged under that indecency law, the federal Justice Minister has to personally approve it. Another reason is that what counts as indecent is different in different places. A little nipple at Toronto Pride? No big deal. That same nipple exposed in dildo? Bad example. Part of the confusion comes because in some provinces, like BC and Ontario, it's perfectly legal for women to walk around with their tops off in any public area they want. So surely there must be half-nude women all over the streets of Canada, right? No. Outside of the occasional bare-breasted vegan protest on Vancouver's Commercial Drive, I don't think I've ever seen it. Why? Because straight men have the situational awareness of a horny Labrador. It's probably hard to feel empowered when someone's filming you with a GoPro that they have duct taped to their belt buckle. Different cities have special areas, though, where nudity is allowed. Like Wreck Beach in Vancouver. Or Hanlan's Point Beach in Toronto. Or the south end of Woodgrove Centre in Nanaimo. Or so someone told me, and now I have a restraining order and a very strongly worded letter from Booster Juice. Thanks, Obama. That's the real Canadian difference. Other countries treat nudity like a moral crisis. We treat it like a footnote. We recognize that there's a difference between being nude and being lewd. And we save our outrage for the things that actually matter, like someone putting pineapple on poutine. That stuff belongs on pizza and you fucking know it. Canada's a nation of compromise. A country where it's legal to go topless, but culturally frowned upon. A place where the law says one thing, but the cops say, "Buddy, at least cover up the timbits, eh?" Which might explain why our Disney exhibitionist thought that he could free Willie at the Magic Kingdom. And— poor guy— turns out it was indeed a small world after all.
