King Charles is Canada's ceremonial figurehead who waves and plants trees while the Governor General handles actual power. Meanwhile, the U.S. has privatized monarchy by letting billionaires control policy and public spaces, which the speaker argues is worse than keeping a symbolic royal family.
Americans are marching for No King's Day tomorrow. We Canadians have matching protests of our own to support our neighbours. But it is a little bit awkward because we do have a king. He's our head of state. His name is Charles. You may have seen him on our money, or depending on how fast the Bank of Canada updates things, maybe you haven't. To be honest, we rather like him because he's quiet and stays out of our business. He lives across the ocean, doesn't tweet at 3 in the morning, doesn't tell us to inject bleach, doesn't call Journalists, enemies of the people. In fact, our king doesn't do anything. He's like the wallpaper of our democracy. Decorative, familiar, but if he just disappeared one day, we'd all just go, "Huh." I shouldn't say he literally does nothing. He waves, he plants trees, he occasionally mumbles something awkward about architecture. He's more a mascot here than anything else. Nice guy, as far as I can tell, but We barely notice them. We make our laws here in the House of Commons in Ottawa in Canada. The King doesn't make our laws. He can't veto bills that our elected representatives vote in, something we have never really understood about the American system. He technically has to give royal assent before it becomes a law, but that's a rubber stamp. The Governor General, which is the King's representative, could withhold that assent, but by convention that doesn't happen, not in of modern Canadian history anyway. He, through the Governor General, can prorogue Parliament, which stops it in its tracks, but that's only happened at the request of the sitting government. The ruling monarchs never refused that request, even when a lot of us wish that they had. Frankly, the reason we keep him around is because we Canadians rather like our ceremony. We like fancy hats, shiny medals, and old ladies who can curtsy without toppling over. The monarchy is basically our version of lawn bowling. It's old, it's slow, no one's quite sure why it's still happening, but it gives They're always looking for something to talk about. And listen, all jokes aside, Americans worry they've elected a king, and I get it. A dictator, for sure. But to some of us here in Canada, it looks a bit different. Americans didn't overthrow their monarchy. They monetized it. They built billionaires who bought the public square and are now selling it back to them in pieces. The history books might need a correction. America didn't abolish kings. It privatized them. Luckily, American history is written by those same hands that push back. So keep marching. Keep shouting. You've still got friends across the border who believe in you and in what's right. And we will be here, keeping the lights on, hoping you find your way home.
Ten times Canada helped the U.S. with its wildfires, instead of whining about the smoke. 
