A host reviews comments his automated moderation system banned, deciding on the spot whether each ban was fair. Viewers can appeal wrongful bans by donating at least $50 to Rainbow Refugee at b.link/unbanme.
I get a lot of comments on my social media channels. Most of the time everyone's really friendly. Every so often there's a douche canoe in there. Luckily, because of my day job, I've got some pretty advanced tools to moderate the social media channels, so if someone says something egregiously stupid, they get knocked out. If they are a particularly bad douche canoe, then they get banned automatically. It's almost perfect. Every once in a while it bans people when it probably shouldn't have, and sometimes those people email and ask to be unbanned. And so today I present the first episode of Unban Court, where we go through people who've asked to be unbanned and we determine whether or not we're going to do that. I have not seen these comments, by the way. My team put this together. So you and I are experiencing this for the first time. And let's go to number 1. Pretty bold opinion from a person who refrigerates potatoes. When did I say refrigerate potatoes? I don't do that. Yeah, that shouldn't have been banned. Let's reverse that. I know your dishwasher smells bad. I just know. That's a— that is a weirdly specific insult. Is that supposed to be an insult? He's not wrong. He or she, I don't know. They're not wrong. That's weird. For fuck's sake, another goddamn Canadian. Sir, are you lost? Do you know what, chat? No, this guy stays banned. I'd rather watch my country burn to the ground than— oh, we put the name on this one— than move your shithole totalitarian country. Why don't you go drink your coffee with a paper straw, you fuck? What did the paper straw do wrong? No, sorry, Smith R. Jason, you are staying banned. You— oh yeah, no. Oh no, I saw this one ahead of time. You dumb queer little soy lover. What do Americans have against soy products? This I don't understand at all. You got 2 out of 3 right. La la la la la la. I can't hear you. Yeah, I'll unban that one. That's weird. A double double at Tim Hortons is a cry for help, you dumb fuck. You can't call people names in my channel though. That's rich coming from someone who probably apologizes to the Roomba. This is— you know what, unban this guy. This is absolutely true. I have apologized to the Roomba. I don't know who you are and how you know that. No. I think that might have been a mistake. Oh, okay, same person. Fuck no, fuck no, no, no, no, go away, no, fuck off, go the fuck away, Mom! Oh no! Oh no, they stay banned. I love you. Oh, why did that get in there? That's in that— Uh oh. Anyway, if you have been wrongly banned and you would like to be considered for an unbanning, go to b.link/unbanme. You must donate at least $50 to Rainbow Refugee. Thank you. See you next episode. You sound like a fool. I'm Tony Soprano. You sound like a fool. That's your opinion.
Ten times Canada helped the U.S. with its wildfires, instead of whining about the smoke. 
