A Canadian debunks common myths about his country: lacrosse is an official national sport alongside hockey, the French national anthem is a separate song not a translation, Quebec speaks only French officially while New Brunswick is the only fully bilingual province, and Canadian socks come in cans.
Chapters
Here are 12 mistakes you are making about Canada, part 1. Mistake number 1: hockey is not our national sport. We have 2 national sports, one for winter, that's hockey, and one for summer, that's complaining about highway construction. Or maybe it's lacrosse. Hockey and lacrosse were both declared official by Parliament in 1994, and even most Canadians do not know that there are 2. Number 2: when you say the Maritimes, you are excluding Newfoundland and Labrador. The Maritime provinces are New Brunswick, Nova Scotia, and Prince Edward Island. The historical reasons why are a little boring and probably involve cod, so I'll spare you. But if you want to include all the East Coast provinces together, you can either say Atlantic Canada or say the East Coast and then piss off Edmonston. That's Edmonston, not Edmonton, which is thousands of kilometers away. Yes, we like to make things confusing here. Third, that's right, kilometer. I said it. That's how the word is pronounced. And if you're saying no, it's kilometer, I might remind you that it's millimeter, centimeter, kilometer. No one is measuring the girth of their Robertson shafts in centimeters. Nobody. Not even the French. Especially not the French. Speaking of the French, the French translation of O Canada, our national anthem, is not a translation at all. It is an entirely different song written by different people almost 30 years apart, and the French version came first. That version is much more hardcore. It's very Catholic. There are references to carrying crosses in it. It's almost liturgical. It reads like something you would sing at the start of a battle. The melody is the same, the songs are different. I'll make a video about this if you want, let me know. Most English-speaking Canadians know part of the French song like "Terre de nos aïeux" and have no idea that that translates to The Anglophones are suspiciously friendly with goats. While we're talking about Québec, it is not a bilingual province. It has one official language, and that language is French. English is not an official language, and you will know this if you ever need to talk to any government office there. Only one province in Canada is officially bilingual, and that's New Brunswick. But even that is kind of complicated, because Nunavut has 4 recognized languages, and the Northwest Territories recognizes 11. But New Brunswickers are the only ones who are all bi. 6. Socks are not just sold willy-nilly on disgusting store shelves. Socks in Canada are sold in cans. Why? 2 reasons. 1, to maintain freshness, and 2, because we're not animals. Ooh, these ones are nice. Follow for part 2, which involves bread, the French, and people who spend too much time on Facebook.
