In this coaching monologue, the speaker explores why many people feel like victims of their bodies when they put in effort on diet, exercise, and recovery yet see no results. He argues that this feeling is often a mental narrative that can justify inaction, rather than an objective truth. The core message is that the body may be "victimized" by the way we have been treating it—through poor nutrition, inconsistent training, insufficient rest, and chronic stress—causing it to drift far from homeostasis. Before aesthetic goals (fat loss, muscle gain) can be achieved, the body often needs a period of healing and re‑establishing balance. The speaker recommends shifting focus from outward appearance to internal health markers such as blood work, resting heart rate, heart‑rate variability, and blood pressure to gauge progress. He warns against extreme diets and over‑training, especially for high‑performing entrepreneurs who adopt a "go‑go‑go" mindset, and suggests that sometimes doing less (allowing recovery) is the most effective path forward. The talk ends with an invitation for viewers to comment with questions or experiences, offering personal feedback and further guidance.
Chapters
Are you a victim of your body, or is your body a victim of you? Now, I ask this question because for many of us, when we're trying to achieve our goals, particularly in the body, and we're doing all the right things, or at least we feel we are with our nutrition, we feel like we're doing all the right exercise, and we're trying to rest and recover, and we're doing everything that's required, and sometimes we're still not actually getting the results that we want. Now, when we get stuck in this place, it can feel a lot like we're a victim of our body. So it's like, I'm doing all these things, but then for some reason, even though I'm putting in all this effort to try and improve myself, nothing seems to be working. It's like my body consistently seems to be working against me. Now, when we break things down, that may not literally be the case, but that's irrelevant because in the moment, how we feel will dictate what we choose to do next. Because I'm not sure whether you guys realize it or not, but it's not what we want that determines how we'll act. It's how we feel. So how I feel in this moment is more likely to influence my next action than what I think I want on the other side of it. This is, of course, unless I've already done lots of personal development work that allows me to now choose an outcome and then act in alignment with it. But for many of us, we're not yet at that place. We're still at this place of trying to learn about ourselves and learn about our triggers and our behaviors and our fuck-ups and so on. So that we can then start to act in that way once we've figured out the game, once we've figured out how and why we keep working against ourselves. So as I say, if I'm now in this place where I'm trying very hard, or at least it feels that way with my diet, if I'm trying very hard to do my exercise and to recover well and all the, all the rest of it, but yet I'm still not getting the results that I want, it's very easy to feel like I'm a victim. Now, of course We have to then weigh things up because we need to identify, well, is this idea of me being a victim a fact, or is it a fantasy? Is it something I've created in my mind in order to make me feel better about the fact I'm not getting results, and it allows me to put the blame on something or someone else? Maybe I'm a victim of this thing. Because this thing is happening, that means I can't get the result. Therefore, it's not my fault because of this external thing. But we have to look at things in a bit more detail before we can just jump to that conclusion, because unless we do, we will constantly find reasons to make ourselves the victim, because it will justify us not showing up, not getting the results that we want, and ultimately staying stuck. Even though we say we don't want to be stuck here and we don't want the current results— I don't want this body, I don't want this level of money, I don't want this particular level of relationship, I want them all to grow, I want them all to be more— is what we say, but yet we find perfect reasons in order to keep us stuck. But we have to break it down, as I mentioned, and go, okay, well, if this is the case, is it a fact that I'm a victim? So if for the past week, month, year, multiple years, decades, that I've been showing up in a particular way that's led my body to get to a certain point where I haven't been focusing on my diet, where I haven't been maybe exercising regularly, where I haven't maybe considered the care and the nurture and the rest and recovery that my body needs. If I haven't done that for an extended period of time, it is possible that it's going to take a while for my body to get to a point where it can now start showing me the results that I want. What I mean by this is sometimes we've been in this negative or this bad way of living that hasn't been serving us. For such an extended period that now our body is actually too unhealthy to lose the weight that we want to get rid of. It's maybe too unhealthy to heal and get over the pain that we're currently experiencing. So I might have a bad shoulder, and I seem to do all the different exercises that the physio gives me, but nothing seems to get better. Why are the tissues always inflamed? Why does it always ache? Why does it always hurt? But sometimes it's because our body has actually drifted so far away from balance, or from homeostasis, that point of balance within the body. Sometimes we've drifted so far that our initial progress will actually come in healing ourselves, not actually revealing ourselves. So what I mean by that is sometimes we have to go through a period of nurturing the body and bringing it back to a point of health or balance before we can get the fat loss, before we can get free of pain. Before we can start building muscle, or whatever the aesthetic goal might be. Sometimes we need to heal ourselves first. But of course, we have to be willing to be patient with ourselves during that process. And instead, we don't judge us by the external goal— is my body fat reducing? Yes, it's nice if it does, but sometimes it won't until the body heals to a point where it can begin to prioritize fat loss. Because in the early stages we might find that we get started in this process and the only thing our body wants to prioritize is survival and re-healing. Now, of course, the body is constantly trying to heal. It's literally a self-healing organism, and providing we give it the right environment and the right state, then the body can do that. It can heal from pretty much anything— diabetes, cancer, high blood pressure, heart disease, all those different things. Which are potentially dangerous to us, if we provide the right environment, what happens is the body will start to heal itself. The catch is, for many of us, is we're not willing to provide that environment on a consistent enough basis to give the body enough time to actually heal itself to the point where it can go, oh cool, the threat has gone. Now we can worry about this fat loss that this guy wants. Oh, now we can worry about building this muscle this guy wants. Now we can worry about reducing the inflammation, etc., to a point where he's no longer in pain or discomfort. So we need to nurture that idea, and we need to sit with ourselves sometimes and go, okay, well, maybe I'm not actually a victim of this process. Yeah, I've still got to do the things and maybe not see the physi— the visible results in terms of my body shape, but what could I track instead? So if instead of tracking my physical aesthetics, which don't seem to be changing at the rate I want. Maybe I could track blood markers, maybe I could track blood sugar, maybe we could track heart rate variability and so on. So there are lots of different things, even things like morning resting heart rate and so on, blood pressure. We could track many different, different health markers that could show us that, oh, despite the fact my body is not transforming on the outside, it is actually transforming on the inside. It's healing to a point where it can then begin to burn the fat and help me get the body that I want aesthetically. But first I must heal myself. I must first have patience with myself and consistently put in the effort whilst I heal to a point where my body can then reveal the aesthetic that I'm trying to achieve. So ultimately what we really find is that 9 times out of 10, we're not really a victim of our body. Our body is the victim of the way that we've been showing up for ourselves. And unfortunately for many of us, we haven't been showing up for ourselves correctly. And by obviously that, I just mean we haven't been eating the right foods, we haven't necessarily been exercising at an optimal level for what it is we want and for the way we want our body to function and feel. We haven't maybe been nurturing ourselves in terms of rest and recovery, because what many of us find, particularly as male entrepreneurs, is we have very much a go, go, go, do, do, do mentality. So it's like, well, what more can I do in order to get more results? But sometimes in order to have more, we actually need to do less. We need to back things off temporarily so that we can give our body the space it needs, give our mind and our, and our emotions and our spiritual aspect enough time and space to heal. Because unfortunately, until we heal, much, much of the time, we can't actually build the body that we want. We can maybe force it, which is what you'll see when people, they get so desperate because they don't seem to be getting results that they'll use extreme diets where like extreme calorie restriction and then extreme activity on top of that. And it's like, well, if your body wasn't willing to do it the easy way— oh, I just tweak and improve my diet a bit, do a little bit more activity, rest and recover a bit better, and then get results— if that wasn't working, now going into the extreme all you've actually done is now placed another large stressor on top of an already stressed-out body. And yeah, you might start to see some weight loss now because you've gone to the extremes, but you'll never be able to maintain it. And what you'll likely do at the same time is cause even more metabolic disruption, even more potential for illness and disease, and of course shift your body even further away from that point of balance or homeostasis where it pretty much needs to be able to reach before it can allow you to safely lose weight on a consistent basis. So something for you guys to consider. If you have any questions around this, as I always say, drop them in the comments below. Or if you maybe have any insight or experience of your own you want to share around this, where maybe you've been trying to do all the right things but it just doesn't seem to be working and it's left you feeling a little bit like a victim, like you're stuck, like, what the fuck, I keep putting in all this effort but it's still not happening. Drop a comment, let us know. We can obviously have a chat back and forth. I can give you some feedback, some help, some guidance. And if not, I look forward to seeing you all in my next video. Take it easy, people, and I shall chat to you soon.
