Are you avoiding the Action or the Outcome?

If you find yourself constantly stuck in this place of stop-start, stop-start, stop-start when it comes to your health, it's likely because you're trying to avoid something. Now, you may already realize this yourself, but what we often need to do is identify specifically what that thing is that we're trying to avoid. And often it will either fall within the actions that we need to take in order to get the outcome that we want, or it will actually be something related to the outcome that we want, that we maybe don't want to experience, or that we fear we're going to experience. But that may or may not be the case. It's just we have this idea, once I achieve this goal, that's now going to mean this for me, and therefore I'm not ready for that. So we try to avoid it. Now, of course, the catch is, unless we can identify what the specific trigger is that's causing us to constantly be on this cycle of stop, start, stop, start, unless we can identify what that is, it's very difficult for us to actually do anything proactive to change it. We can continue to kind of wish and hope and dream that I'll finally one day— I might be able to do the right things to get myself back in shape or to get myself out of pain. But unless we can identify what it is that keeps tripping us up, what is it about these actions that I know I need to take? Okay, so I need to improve my diet. I maybe need to start exercising more regular. Maybe I need to start looking after myself. Maybe I need to do some breathwork or some hydration work and so on. Like, there might be various things you need to do, but unless we can identify what it is about those things that is actually holding us back, we won't know where to start. We'll just keep trying the same thing over and over. We might be using a different method. Oh, you know, I tried veganism last time. Now I'm going to try keto or paleo and so on. But quite often the method that we pick won't really make a difference unless we can identify the specific trigger that keeps causing us to fuck ourselves up. So that's what I would have you kind of consider. If this is where you find yourself and you're on this stop-start, stop-start cycle, where is the, the holdup? What is causing you to procrastinate? Is it something that you're having to do that you're not ready, maybe ready for? Maybe it's something you don't want to implement in your lifestyle. And then I would also say, okay, well, once you identify that thing, it's often a good thing to identify, well, why is that significant? Oh, here's the thing, I don't want to change my diet. Cool, you don't want to change your diet. Why is that? Well, to be honest with you, I don't enjoy healthy food. You know, I like all the bad stuff because all the bad stuff tastes the best. Okay, cool. That might be true, it might not. So, is it that it's a simple case of you don't like healthy food, or is it just that you haven't yet learned to prepare it in a way that it's actually enjoyable for you? Now, sometimes it is as simple as that. Oh, it's actually not that I don't like healthy food, it's just I'm not very good with healthy food prep. I'm not used to it, it's not something I'm experienced in, so therefore I avoid it. Other times it can be more along the lines of, oh well, healthy food is boring. So there's this idea that, you know, living healthy and being into fitness and health makes you a boring person. Whereas if you kind of on the other side of the scale and you're into sex, drugs, rock and roll, and living life on the edge, well then you're an exciting person. You know, you're a star essentially. So sometimes we would prefer to live that rock and roll type lifestyle because it has more street cred than being a health nerd or a health freak and so on. I just noticed I'm doing a lot of this today, and I— but anyway, that's, that's the case. Like, sometimes it's a case of, well, living in this particular way has an idea or a connotation wrapped around it, and I don't want to be identified as that. I don't want people to think I'm boring. I don't want to think I'm some kind of health freak or nerd, so therefore I won't venture into that side. Now, that's when it's around the actions, or the actions are I live a healthy lifestyle, I don't really want that because I don't want to be perceived as this particular thing. Now, if it's outcome-based, sometimes if we're basing it around that same principle, it's more a case of, oh, well, I think I'm going to have to give up a lot of my social life in order to be healthy. So the outcome is, oh, yeah, I'm now healthy, I'm in shape, I've lost the weight and so on. I feel better, but I've had to give up a lot of my lifestyle, the fun stuff that I enjoy doing. And I'm not ready to do that. So I'm avoiding the outcome because I don't want to, don't want to lose my social life. Now, the truth is we don't actually have to lose our social life. It might have to tweak in certain areas or be adapted, but we can actually still maintain the social life that we have. We might just have to be more strategic about the things that we partake in and how much we indulge in our favorite foods, treats, sweets, snacks, and so on. But it doesn't mean we can't have them if we want to be fit, lean, and healthy. It just means we've got to think smarter about it and obviously take more strategic action. We maybe have to think a little bit more. Now the catch is many of us don't want to think. You know, we've got enough on our minds already. We already feel like, well, I'm overwhelmed with life and the way things are. The last thing I now need is to have to think about every single thing I'm shoveling into my mouth. And I get that. I don't want to live like that either. But the truth is, for most people, if we're willing to just do the basics, work at that sort of 80/20 rule— so 80% of the time you're doing the right thing, 20% of the time you let yourself off— let yourself off. Most people will actually get 90% of the results that they want from doing that. Now, it sounds like really 90% just from— from— and it's true. Because most people, they don't want the extreme body. You know, some do. They do want to be ripped with a six-pack and bulging muscles and all the rest of it. But most people don't want that. They just want a body that they're confident with. They just want to feel better in themselves. They want to have greater self-esteem. They don't want to feel like they're being judged. They don't want to be embarrassed, ashamed, or disgusted by their own body. And you don't have to look like a cover model or some kind of fitness model in order to not be disgusted with yourself. And to be proud of yourself. Because what tends to happen as we get leaner, of course there is a general sense of confidence increase and self-esteem increase, which is great. But because you become stronger, fitter, more capable, that also helps to boost and enhance that feeling of, of self-esteem. So because we realize that, oh, actually I'm functioning a lot better now, I'm far more capable than I was when I was overweight and tired and, and weak and so on, now that I'm not feeling like that, along with looking a lot better and feeling more confident with myself and not necessarily ashamed of my body, that's enough for most people. That is enough. And now, of course, if you want more, then feel free. But just remember, the more extreme the result that we want, the more extreme the lifestyle has to be, as in the stricter we have to be with ourselves, the more disciplined we have to be. And of course, at times the more we might have to give up certain things. Now, that might mean we have to take more actions more frequently and at an increased level, and it might mean that we have greater outcomes to consider. So the more extreme the result that we want, the more we have to consider these actions and outcomes that might be holding us back. But the truth is, for most people, they're so far away from that extreme result, none of that really matters right now. What you could do, of course, is just focus on what's going on with you now. Okay, well, how extreme does my action or my outcome actually have to be in order for me to lose 2 pounds in the next week? Not that great for most people. So if we consider it and break it down in that manner, we don't have to worry about, oh well, in 6 months or a year when I'm ripped and lean and what I might have to consider in that moment. Instead— excuse me— instead What I can focus on is the now. What I can focus on is the small incremental changes that I need to make, that I'm happy to make, that aren't so extreme and aren't going to overwhelm me and cause me to want to avoid them. Those smaller actions that I can take to get me the smaller goal in the next week or two often don't require quite so much change or overhaul for us, so they're often much easier for us to take. We find it much easier to stick to what we said we would do and be disciplined with it without that need or that feeling like, We want to procrastinate and delay and put things off and hold ourselves back because what we find is when the actions are smaller, so if we find that minimal effective dosage, we don't actually feel like we're giving up or sacrificing as much. Instead, we feel like, oh, I've only had to make a few little changes. These weren't actually as hard as I thought, and I'm getting more result than I expected to get from it. Now, when you find yourself in that pocket, it becomes much easier, of course, to maintain that progress. You stay motivated, you maintain momentum, and of course you continue to get results. And then all you need to do as you reach points where results slow down because the body is adapting to what you're doing, again, you just make those minor tweaks in order to continue moving you in the right direction. And it's much easier to play the game in that way rather than trying to do everything overnight and then finding that you end up on this stop-start, stop-start cycle because you're constantly avoiding certain actions or certain outcomes that may or may not even be required, or may not— excuse me— may not actually manifest as a result of this, this, uh, intervention that you're making in your lifestyle anyway, such as losing your social life and all those types of things. So my question for you guys is this: why is it that you keep stopping? Is it because of the actions that you need to take that you want to avoid and you're not ready to make? Or is it because the outcomes you think you're going to experience, so therefore you're avoiding that? It's like, I won't take the actions and I won't take them consistently because I don't want that outcome. You might want the weight loss, but there might be other things that you think are also going to be, be required or expected of you as a result of maintaining or attaining this outcome. And therefore, that's what you're avoiding. So that's what I'll leave for you, uh, leave with you guys tonight. Drop your answers in the comments below, and if you want to learn more about what we do here, of course you can check us out at strongerthanlife.com. And as always, guys, if you have any questions, drop them in the comments below, and I will get back to you guys in my next video. Take it easy, people.