Avoiding Discomfort Does Not Lead To Comfort!

Tyrone Bray ran a successful offline gym for over a decade, then forced himself to go live daily for six weeks to build an online coaching business. He argues that avoiding discomfort keeps you trapped: short-term pain in the gym, with diet, or on camera is the only path to real growth.
Chapters
You know, a large proportion of the comfort that we seek in life actually resides on the other side of the discomfort that we tend to avoid. Now, said another way, what I'm really saying is sometimes we just got to do some shit that we don't want to do. Now, this of course applies to all of us, not just yourself and not just me. Like, for example, with myself, doing this is actually very uncomfortable for me. So I've gotten better at it. And when I say doing this, I mean going live. And I've mentioned this in previous videos before, um, and if any of you guys have been following me recently, you'll notice that more recently, the last 6 weeks or so, I've been going live every single day. Now believe it or not, I've been trying to go live and to put content out daily for a fucking decade now. Like, I've been trying to, to do this thing and, and to be consistent with my social media presence and all the rest of it. For pretty much 10 years. In fact, a little bit more than that, since 2013, because all of the business coaches and things that I've worked with over the years, they're all like, you need a social media presence, you need a social media presence, and so on. But because I've always worked in a face-to-face gym, I've been able to avoid needing a social media presence, because in my gym we don't need social media. You know, it's handy, I can use social media as well, But with the gym, people know my gym's there, they come to see me, I get referrals from my clients I already have. I can do local ad campaigns and things like that, put an ad in the newspaper and things. And because I'm trying to get people to come to a particular location in my local area, I haven't had to worry so much about doing this social media thing, putting myself out there, producing content regularly, and so on. Now the catch-22 is, as much as that served me, and I had a great business and I have a great business and great clients, It's not ultimately where I wanted my business to go, but I was stuck in the comfort of it because it was already providing an income. I already had clients I was getting great, great results with, and it was fulfilling my needs. It was providing a roof over my head. It allowed me to have a nice car and to travel and various different things. So it already served many of the things I wanted in life and provided a lot of comfort. But that comfort also gave me an excuse or a reason to avoid the discomfort of doing things like this, going live regularly, communicating with the people I want to work with, communicating with the people I want to help and to help improve their life, their body, and so on. But because I had so much comfort in my face-to-face business, I avoided the discomfort of trying to work on the online aspect of my business. Now, ultimately, what we kind of get to a point with this stuff is realize, well, actually, if that's what I truly want, I've got no fucking choice but to go through the discomfort in order to get there. And it may be the same for yourself. If you're, for example, trying to lose body weight, you might have to have the discomfort of going to the gym. Maybe you don't want to go to a gym. Maybe you find it intimidating and you're embarrassed and you're worried that everyone's going to stare at you and think you look stupid and you don't know what you're doing and all the rest of it. So there may be discomfort with that. There may be discomfort of giving up certain foods that you don't want to give up. Perhaps you're well into your snacks, your snacks and your cakes and biscuits and so on. And your sweets and treats and you don't want to give them up. So that might be uncomfortable too. Then there might be the fact that maybe you've got to give up some of your late-night bingeing, you know, like TV bingeing or food bingeing, and therefore get yourself to bed, have a, have a stable routine with your sleep-wake cycle and so on. Again, could be more discomfort. But what we tend to lose focus of is the comfort that we will actually receive on the other side of this discomfort that we have to go through. The fact that you'll have a fitter, leaner, stronger, healthier body. The fact that you'll, you'll look better, people will perceive you better, you'll have more confidence, more self-esteem. You'll actually be at a point, hopefully, where you stop hating yourself and the way you look and stop being disgusted by your body. And you'd be able to show up better for your partner, again with more confidence. Maybe you'd even be more inclined to kind of seduce them a bit more, or act yourself and not hold yourself back in those intimate or sexual moments and so on, because you won't be so self-conscious about your body and them seeing you and I need the lights off and whatever it might be. So often to get to that comfort, the pleasure that we want, we've got to go through some discomfort, some pain in order to get there. Now the advantage is for most of us, we're actually quite uncomfortable anyway. There is a comfort in our discomfort, but we don't really want to be there. We don't want the unhealthy body, we don't want to be broke and poor and all the rest of it. So when we do these things and decide, right, I need to go through the discomfort needed to start building the life that I want, whether it's in my body, my business, or my relationships. Yes, there's going to be this period of doing things, getting the hang of it, and finding your way through. A bit like I have to with my lives, because even now I'm like, what if I forget what I'm trying to say? Or what if I go off on a random tangent and it becomes a 15-minute video instead of a 5-minute video? And all sorts, because I have lots of things come up in my mind while I'm talking to you guys. and often I want to get steered off in other directions, but I have to kind of hone myself in and keep it, keep it clean where I can and, and not get drawn off. But it's easily done for me because, believe it or not, there's a lot going on in here and there's a lot I want to share with you, but I have to sometimes be careful not to overshare because then it might overwhelm you. And then it was like, now you've given me so much information, Ty, I don't know what the fuck to do with it. So, but the only way I can actually get good at delivering this and get good at serving you with the information that I do have is if I carry on practicing. That's the only way I can take my business from my face-to-face business and move it online, which is my plan over the next 6 months. But the only way I can do that is to actually give in to the fact that that's what I've got to do. I have to accept and acknowledge the fact that actually you've got no choice. If you want an online business, guess what? You need an online presence and you need to do online marketing activities. Not just the offline marketing activities. So it's a case of now having to shift who I've been being in order to create a new reality. And quite often it's the same for yourselves. If you're wanting a new body or you want a new, a new financial prospect over the next year or so, you might be thinking, oh, I need to change job, change career, start a new business, or maybe improve the current business I have. Often we need to change who we're showing up as so that we can create new realities. But in that process of becoming this new version, we've got to go through some discomfort and unfortunately, as I say, do some shit that we maybe just don't want to do. So that's what I'll leave you guys with tonight. That's our thought of the night. If you have any questions on this or you want me to dig deeper, let me know in the comments below. And if not, I look forward to chatting with you guys in my next video. Take it easy.
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