Tyrone Bray says people quit fat loss because they don't see themselves as a priority. His fix: outsource the why to someone you love. Frame it as being a better role model or having more energy for your kids or partner. That external accountability sticks until you build real self-worth.
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One of the main reasons why we struggle to stay consistent with our health and fat loss goals is because we simply don't see ourselves as a big enough priority. Now, what I mean is, quite often we know that achieving the goal, as in losing the weight or getting out of our health condition, whatever it might be— high blood pressure, diabetes, and so on— we know that that's important. And multiple times we will try to do the right things, get the right diet and get the right exercise and so on, in order to reverse those conditions or lose the excess weight. But the catch is there's this part of us that doesn't believe that we are worthy of the time, the effort, the energy. So therefore we fail to stay consistent. We try, as I, as I just said, and we keep trying different things and different diets, but we just can't seem to remain consistent because, as I just mentioned, we are not important enough. Now, of course, this isn't ideal. And in an ideal world, we would recognize that, well, ultimately, in order for anything else in my life to become a priority of mine and for me to give it my best, I must be at my best first. So in an ideal world, I'll show up and I'll serve me. I'll make sure that my diet's on point. I'll make sure my exercise is on point, my rest and recovery is on point, so that I've got a body that's fit, lean, strong, and healthy that will then enable me to show up as the best version of myself for anything that I'm trying to do for or with other people. But the catch is we don't do that, and therefore we struggle to stay consistent. So what we can do when this is the problem is we can actually outsource the why. Now, in an ideal world, as I mentioned, we would be the why. Why would you do it? Well, because actually I don't want to feel like shit all the time. I don't want to look like shit. I'm tired of being embarrassed and ashamed of my body and so on. We would see ourselves as a good enough reason to do it. But whilst we're not, and whilst we're building that muscle or that ability to see ourselves as being a higher priority or more important, what we can do in the meantime is outsource the reason for why we want to do this. So for example, you might go, okay, well, I won't do this for me. I keep trying. That's not working. But what about if I did this for my, my children or for my partner? Because sometimes we hold them in higher regard than ourselves and we understand the importance of us showing up as the best version of ourselves for them. Actually, I want to be a good role model for my daughter or for my son, and therefore, if I keep showing up eating junk and being lazy and, and not really taking care of myself, what example is that actually setting for my kids? So maybe I'll clean up my act and get my body back in shape and, and improve my energy and my confidence and so on, so that I can show my children how an adult should live and how they would ideally want to live when they're older. So that they don't end up in the same position that I'm in now, struggling with my weight, struggling with my self-esteem, and so on. So you might want to do it for your kids. The other reason, or the other person, sorry, that you might want to do it for that often works well is for our partner. Now, the truth is, if you've got a partner, she's with you and she's been with you a long time, there's a good chance she's with you regardless of how you look. And it's not all about aesthetics now. That's cool. But at the same time, that shouldn't necessarily be an excuse to stay how we are. So what we might do is go, okay, well, the truth is, even though she's accepted me as I am and she loves me regardless, she probably would prefer it if I wasn't overweight, if I wasn't this version of myself, if I showed up with more confidence, more energy, if I had a better body. And if I had more confidence in myself, I could actually show up as a better partner and a better lover than I do currently because I wouldn't be so self-conscious and so on. And therefore she would actually get benefit from me losing the weight as well. So sometimes, as I say, outsourcing the reason why and the who that we're doing it for can be a great way to help us stay consistent in the early days until we learn how to, to essentially upgrade ourselves in our own mind so that we see ourselves as a higher priority. So in the beginning, we might go, okay, well, actually, I can't do this for me. I just can't seem to hold myself accountable. So So what I'll do for now is do it for my kids. I know that they will prefer me if I've got lots of energy and I'm able to run around and play with them and get involved in what they're doing rather than kind of being a backseat driver as a parent, which some of us do at times. But the last thing that we really want is this physical body being the reason for that. It's different if, oh, well, I'm tired today, I've had a busy day, so today I'm gonna kind of take a day off almost. But when it's a case of I can't get involved on a consistent basis because of the way I've let my body become, well, then that's a problem, of course. And not just because, oh, well, you know, you should be taking care of your kids, but more so we don't want to be living in this restricted way. We've kind of tolerated it and we've allowed it to become the way that things are. But very few of us actually want to be stuck in a body that's weak, that's tired, that's overweight, that makes us feel like shit. But we've learned how to tolerate it. And as a result, we end up often tolerating other shit in other areas of our lives too, because tolerance becomes the default. Oh well, and we just put up with things that we don't necessarily want, but that we've just learned to get used to. And of course, if we get stuck in that mode of just getting used to things and accepting them just because they're— they don't seem that bad in the moment, well then we kind of set ourselves up for consistent failure across multiple domains, not just in our body, but potentially in our business or potentially in our relationships and so on because of the fact that we've done it at the core level or at the root level with ourselves. So that's what I'll leave with you guys today. If you kind of see yourself struggling to stay consistent whenever you try to do it for yourself, what you might want to do in the early stages, as I say, is outsource that reasoning and the person we're doing it for and perhaps do it for someone else, might be your kids, your partner, could even be a friend or so on. Anyone that you see in high regard or hold in high regard and have a lot of care for, they will often work as a good person to use to help hold you accountable for a start, particularly if you tell them, but also just in your mind knowing that you're not just doing it for you. And it's because some of us also have this idea that we're being selfish. Oh, well, if I'm doing it for me, I'm being selfish and taking time and resource away from others. So sometimes by putting the emphasis on other people, oh, I'm actually doing this for them in order to better my relationship with them and be a better example, a role model for them, well then often that can help. So if you guys have any additional questions that you want me to answer, drop them in the comments below. And if not, I look forward to seeing you all in my next video. Take it easy, people.
