Do you feel like a FAILURE?

So there's this tricky place that many of us find ourselves, and you may even be one of these people yourself where you go through phases and moments where you feel like this. And I'm sure if you speak to many of your friends or you've spoken to them in the past, you've maybe heard them kind of say this or things around these ideas. Now, many people feel like they're a failure. They feel like they're not enough or they're not worthy of success and happiness or not worthy of the body they want. Or it's not available to somebody like them, and so on. So we get caught in these negative ideas and these negative mindsets in relation to who we, we are, or who we perceive ourselves to be. It's like, I want this thing, but I'm not good enough to get it, or I'm not worthy of it, or it's not available to somebody like myself. Now, of course, this doesn't lead to happiness. We often end up then feeling fulfilled and like we're a bit of a victim of life, and rejected by life and those around us and so on, which again isn't going to move us towards the happiness that we want. But when we actually take this down a few layers and remove the emotion and get down to the facts, what we often find is it's just simply a case of we often want more than we're willing to work for. So it's not really that we aren't worthy or we aren't enough or that we're a failure. It's just that in reality, we don't want to do the fucking hard work. And the sooner we kind of get to this place where we're willing to admit that to ourselves, "Oh, it just turns out I want that outcome. It's a nice idea, but you know what? I don't want to go through the headache. I don't want the stress, the strain, the struggle of trying to achieve this thing, because even though I'd like that and I'd probably be happier with that, I'm relatively content where I am right now." And even though it may be uncomfortable and there may be aspects of it that do make us unhappy, because it's a known discomfort, we would often rather sit in that known discomfort because it's familiar to us than actually do the work to achieve the new thing. So that's something to have your— or something I would recommend that you kind of consider or, or sit and have a little bit of a conversation with yourself if you're somebody that has these moments or these periods of time in life where you feel like you're a failure or like you're not worthy of success and so on. And this is whether we're talking body or business or relationships and so on, like I always say. But often it's not a case of we're not worthy, we're just not willing to do the work. And because we're not willing to do the work, we therefore don't see the outcome. But if I tell myself I'm not worthy of it, that kind of gives me a bit of an excuse. It lets me off the hook. It allows me to sit back and not take action because, well, if I take action, what's the point? I'm not worthy of it, so I'll never achieve it. But really, if we were to go, you know what, I am worthy of it and I am willing to do the work, guess what would happen? We'd get the result. Now, it may not be immediate, of course. It won't be like, oh, click your fingers, here it is, because unfortunately many of us have drifted quite a way away from our particular goals or outcomes that we want. Or maybe we have skill sets and strategies and tactics and information we need to consume or learn or absorb before we can take certain action or, you know, um, clear action and courageous action towards that goal. We might need to do a little bit of work first. So the outcome that we want may not be immediate, but the feeling state that we require to get there can be immediate if we're willing to reframe our mindset and the way we see ourselves in relation to that outcome. So rather than kind of being like, well, Yeah, I want that thing, but to be honest with you, I'm not willing to do the work. I don't want to do the work. Instead, we would go, well, actually, I am willing to do the work. And what we also have to remember is we don't necessarily have to do the work at the level of the outcome. We only have to do the work to the level of the next step. So for example, if my goal is to lose 30 pounds, well, in order to get to that 30 pounds of weight loss, first I have to lose 1 pound, right? So the work required to lose 1 pound is far less and far, far easier in reality than trying to lose 30 pounds. So I only need to work to the level required to lose 1 pound, and that will then start moving me towards that goal. Rather than trying to work to the level required to reach 30 pounds of weight loss, I get to that 1 pound, lose the 1 pound in the first week or so, then I have to work to the level required to lose 1 extra pound, and so on. And we just compound it like this thinking about things £1 at a time rather than £30 at a time, because that's when we go, oh, fuck me, that's too much, that's too big, I'm not worthy of that, I'm not capable of that, that's way beyond my capabilities or the, the realm of possibility for me. But for most people, £1, or if it's a case of, oh, you know what, I need to earn more money, the problem I have right now is it's too, too difficult for me to, to go from week to week, month to month with this lack of income, so I need to earn more money. Well, rather than me go, well, you know what, I want to earn £100,000 extra in the next year, we might go, well, how can I earn my next £100 in the next week? How can I earn an extra £100 in this week in order to help start building some momentum and start moving me towards that £100K? Then of course, in that— in the meantime, whilst we're learning to sort of sharpen our axe, so to speak, once we're honing our skills and learning some information, some knowledge, some strategies, some tactics, and so on, Then of course we can be working on the basics, honing those skills, gaining that extra knowledge, changing those mindsets so that we can start accelerating that result. And we might then jump from, well, rather than go for 100 this week, I'm going to go for 500. Then we build the 500s, and then cool, right now I'll go for 1,000, and so on. Same with our weight loss. Take that big goal, break it down, and move one step at a time. We only need to shift enough to start getting results. We don't need to shift enough to immediately have the outcome. Because let's face it, in reality, that's not possible. You know, the only way to do that is to go and have surgery. But of course, that's not the way to do it because surgery might remove the weight and the excess flesh and so on, but it didn't remove the habit that caused it. So that's what we see with most people who go down the surgery route is sooner or later they end up back where they were or even further beyond because now I've lost it through surgery, but because I've lost it and now I've gained it back, I see myself as even more of a failure and even more of a fuck-up. So I'm going to leave it there tonight, guys. Just remember, if you want an outcome, make sure it's an outcome that doesn't exceed what you're willing to work for. Because if it does, you'll just end up thinking, thinking of yourself as though you're some kind of failure, some kind of fuck-up, and you'll always see yourself in a place of lack and scarcity. I'm not enough, I don't have enough, I can't do enough, and so on. So scale the goal back to the point where you know you can match its intensity, and then that way you're going to be far more confident and far more courageous in your decision to move forward and take action and ultimately achieve that goal. So thanks for watching, people. As always, appreciate your time. Of course, as always, if you have any questions, dump them in the comments below and I will get your questions answered as soon as I can. Take it easy, people, and I look forward to chatting with you in my next video.