In this motivational monologue, the speaker explores why many people repeatedly fail to follow through on personal and professional goals, describing a cycle of self‑sabotage that stems from deeper identity conflicts, limiting beliefs, and unresolved past experiences. He argues that without honest self‑reflection—identifying the true reasons behind the sabotage, confronting uncomfortable truths, and reframing the meaning of past events—people will continue to break promises to themselves, eroding self‑trust. The speaker emphasizes taking full responsibility, making commitments non‑negotiable, and cultivating courage to face internal resistance. He offers to provide concrete frameworks and templates for mindset re‑framing, narrative restructuring, and daily action planning, inviting viewers to ask questions in the comments.
Chapters
How often do you find that you let yourself down? Now, I asked this question because for many of us, what we tend to find when we start setting goals for ourselves and have these things that we want to achieve is quite often we'll say, yeah, right, for example, in body, from tomorrow I'm going to make sure I eat better and I'm going to start training and I'm going to get my ass to bed on time, or whatever the goals might be. And then what we find is within a couple of days we've given up. Same in our business domain. All right, well, from tomorrow I'm going to make sure I'm reaching out to more leads. I'm going to have 50 conversations a day in order to make sure I'm generating more leads and potentially more customers on the back end of that. But then the time comes to actually implement the thing. All right, well, I said I'm not going to drink any more alcohol. 2 days later we're drinking alcohol again. Right, I'm not going to eat any more junk food. 2 days later we're eating junk food again. Now we have to get clear with ourselves sometimes when there's these types of patterns continue to play out for us because there's obviously more going on than we're allowing ourselves to see. Or it's a case if we can see it, but we're refusing to confront it. Now, I bring this up because I get it with my clients. I get it with people I talk to in general conversation, friends, family, and so on. And I also hear it in consultations with people that are looking to potentially work with me as well. It's a case of I said I was going to do XYZ, but then within a few days I just find I throw in the towel, I sabotage, I give up, and it all just feels like it's too much. Now, I don't want to keep playing out this particular behavior, but that seems to be my default. I seem to hit so much resistance once I start taking action that I can never seem to follow through to the point of getting the real results that I want. Sometimes we can get some results up front, and that's okay, but it's never enough to get us into momentum and therefore keep us perpetually moving forward towards results. So why is this? Now, the truth is we don't really want to continually let ourselves down, and the more that we do it, the easier it gets, but the more that we do it, the less we trust ourselves, and the less we believe ourselves every time we say, right, this is the time, right now I'm gonna do it. So we have to get clear with ourselves about what's really going on for us right now. Because unless we do that, we're going to keep hitting the same barriers every single time. We're going to keep putting ourselves into that same sabotage cycle. And often it's down to how we see ourselves, how we believe in ourselves, and so on. It's going to be often linked to our identity. Of course, it's like, I said I was going to do this, but I didn't follow through on that. And often it's because that new action or the outcome that action will, will result in doesn't align with who we currently see ourselves as or what we currently see ourselves as being worthy of. So often we need to get real clear with ourselves about what is truly going on for us right now. We have to sit with ourselves and be willing to have a conversation and say, why is it that you keep screwing yourself over? Why do you keep saying you're gonna do this and then not doing it, not following through, not getting the result that you want, even though you keep telling yourself and everyone else that this is what you're going to be doing. Now, the truth is, deep down, you probably do want that result, or you want some other result that you haven't yet identified that's in a similar direction, and that's fine. It doesn't matter sometimes if we can't see the exact path or the exact outcome, but we need to know where it is we want to go. But the catch is, unless we're real clear about exactly where we are right now, what's going on for us, what could likely get in the way, and what we need to do about those things that are going to get in our way, unless we get clear on those from the, from the get-go, what often happens is we will just get stuck in these cycles of sabotage. Now, if they just go on for a couple of weeks, not such a big deal. We don't waste too much time, we don't lose too much trust, and so on. But the catch for many of us is these cycles go on for months, sometimes years, and for some people, even decades. Now, when you've got decades of repetition of what you perceive as failure, it becomes very difficult to commit to anything. Now, I've said decades, but of course the case is the same whether you've done this for just multiple months or years. But of course, the longer you've done it, the worse that effect is going to be. So what I highly recommend you do if you find yourself in this same situation where you keep saying, right, this is it, this is the week, this is the time I'm going to do X, Y, and Z right now, I'm going to commit to my body now, I'm going to commit to my business or my relationships. Doesn't matter where you want to commit yourself, if you find that you keep sabotaging yourself, you keep giving up, and you keep failing to follow through on the things that you said you would do, and therefore continually leaving yourself out of alignment and out of integrity with yourself, then you really need to sit down and ask yourself a few questions. It can feel very confronting, it can feel quite scary at times, because what if I find out things about myself I don't want to know? Or what if I have to reveal to myself things that I was hoping I could forget about? But the catch is, unless we face that darkness within us, unless we face those pains and those, those potentially bad experiences that we've either had or we're fearful of having, unless we confront that now, then we're going to continue to struggle moving forward. The catch is, many of us get caught in these cycles, often due to experiences we've had in the past. Sometimes experiences with ourselves, sometimes experiences with other people. The catch is there's this part of us that wants to go back and change the past so that we can have a new, a new present and therefore a new future. The catch is the past has already been. We have zero influence on the past. It's already been, it's gone. We cannot change a single thing about what happened except for our perception of it. So the event itself, the experience itself, will remain the same, but the meaning we choose to attach to it can be changed if we can reframe mindsets and so on, which is perfectly feasible, perfectly— I don't want to say easy because it's not always easy, but it's a simple process to do providing you have the tools, etc., to do it and the, the skill set. But unless you're willing to first get clear on what it is that's actually going on, what's holding you back What are these aspects of yourself that you're maybe fearful of confronting or avoiding confronting? Once you identify what those are, it becomes much easier for us to then identify, okay, well, it's because of this, that, and this. So therefore, if I can change the way I perceive those particular experiences or change the way I perceive the future experiences I'm going to have, because maybe I'm avoiding those too, maybe if I can reframe those and reframe how I see myself in relation to them, it will be easier for me to continue to follow through. It will be easier for me to now show up and do the things I know I need to do in order to have the outcomes that I want. But as I say, that will take some courage. It will also require you being integral with yourself and being totally honest and getting clear on the facts. As I always say, it's not just about truth. We have to be careful with the idea of truth because although it's better than lies, Truth is often perception-based. It's malleable in the respect your truth might be different to mine. For example, if you're Muslim and I'm Christian, which I'm not, but if I was, my idea of God would be different to yours. So my truth about God would therefore be different to yours. But when we would, would break the subject down and break each of the things down that might be different for us in terms of our perception, the facts will remain identical on both sides. So we need to get clear on the facts. What are the facts so that we can get into integrity? Then we have to be courageous enough and have enough courage within self to confront those things, to question them and find out what it is we now need to do moving forward so that we can take ownership of not only the responsibility, but also the actions that we need to take. Because as much as we may be stuck where we are due to external things, and it might feel like it's not our fault, and perhaps even in some, some um, in some instances it's not your fault, perhaps, but that doesn't take away the fact that it is still our responsibility. It's our body, it's our life, it's our business, it's our relationship. And because it belongs to us, well, therefore it's down to us to solve it, to resolve any problems we have. The responsibility lies with us. So we need to be integral, we need to have the courage to move forward, we have to take ruthless ownership of what it is we need to do and our role and responsibility within the context of what we're trying to achieve. And then we have to make that non-negotiable. We have to make ourselves non-negotiable. And therefore, by doing so, we can show up committed, we can show up in full power and take the actions we know we need to take daily so that we can get to the results that we want, because we've decided to make it a non-negotiable in our lives. So if you have any questions on this, if you want me to give you some frameworks that you can use to start breaking down these questions and these conversations in your mind, let me know and I can give you some frameworks and templates and things that you can use, like I use with my clients, that help us break down our mindsets, reframe stories and narratives that are keeping us stuck, and help us move towards our goals on a daily basis. Any questions, drop them in the comments below, and if not, I look forward to chatting with you all in my next video. People, take it easy.
